BitaTruble
Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Ohanasvib
A slave's acceptance, (The pivot point)
It truly begins with a relationship filled with love, respect and TRUST, in time, it is the responsibility of the sub/slave to offer her self in service or as possession, I call this the pivotal point of the total power exchange.
accepting the slave and the responsibility for her also means fulfilling her emotional needs, this is not a small milestone.
Taking responsibility for her is to accept full responsibility for her heart and happiness.
Yes domination is a part, but it is equally balanced with important fulfillment of her needs.
My happiness as Master starts with my responsibility to her for both of us.
The title of your thread drew me in. I would love to see this topic explored in depth and I hope, with my post, to help the thread along in that regard.
I ditched the potato and just left what I read as the meat of your post. I hope you don't mind but the superfluous was disconnected and getting in the way of my response.
Okay - The first three words of your post, for me, set the tone for your subsequent words. It goes, specifically, to a point beyond the beginning and as it's a topic that we don't see that often, I just wanted to say thanks for starting this thread. (And welcome to the forums.)
It took me a very long time to discover then accept my truth and the state of being, emotionally and intellectually, in which I found myself. Love, trust and respect wouldn't matter as far as slavery and mastery goes if there wasn't some sort of internal trigger which generated my acceptance. Those elements you mentioned are, often, very important to a relationship and I have those things and am blessed by them. They nurture my humanity.. but not so much to the discovery of my inner self, the core that when I set about to dig deeply into who I really am, well, it made me realize that there are some consequences which come at too high a price. For me, the price of making a different choice, other than to be and live as a slave, is to be pretend to be someone else. It would be living a life which isn't truly mine.
I wouldn't say that I offer myself in service although I am very service oriented by nature nor would I state that I offer myself as a possession. It's the word 'offer' that I have a problem with I think. I have come to discover that while I can be possessed (shup in the peanut gallery!) I can't offer myself as a possession. When my belief is that a slave possesses nothing, then I have nothing to offer. I can't give anything to anyone. I don't have it to give. I don't own it, I don't have control over it because in the presence of power, I crumble - well, the slave part does. I'm a sucker for that energy, addicted, enamored. That's why the consequence is too high a price to pay. If I choose not to be a slave, if I choose to wear a mask, live someone else's life and I can't feed my addiction and I have no doubt that I am addicted to power. It's my drug, my vice and, ultimately, my virtue. I know that sounds odd! lol
I can meet my own needs. I can gain love, trust, respect .. those are easy. Be a good person and there will be people who love you for it, respect you for it and learn to trust you for it.
I can work and feed myself, clothe myself, put a roof over my head.. all those things that are material and necessary to survival and all of which can promote my ability to thrive in almost all the aspects of my life. My happiness is my responsibility and I would not burden someone with it nor would I put myself in a position in which I couldn't gain my own happiness because what am I to do if the source of my happiness is suddenly taken from me?
The things of humanity are easy and I can get them all as I require.
It's the things of inhumanity where I need my counter-part. I don't want his humanity either.. not for this, not for my slavery, not for that part of the foundation otherwise, well, there's the lie. The falsehood. The price too high to pay.
Slave - just one facet of my whole, but so important and so much a part of me that without it, I am less even though embracing it makes me less still. The slavery part.. It's like having an empty cup. I can fill it will water and quench my thrist or Himself can fill it with wine and we can get drunk together on the energy we create and we can be animals and mindless. We can bleed each other, claw each other, satisfy each other and both serve that very base of ourselves. The emotional side of my slavery, I would assume, would match the emotional side of his Mastery of me.. not in those things which, feed the mostly human parts.. but for those that go to the inhumane.. the parts that would remain empty.
In order not to be less, I had to address the least of 'me' and the least of me is, without a doubt, the slave.
I didn't want to be empty and by facing it directly I gained hope; hope to accept it and, eventually, to embrace it as the part of me that proves to myself I am human. That is, in large part, just perspective and based on my own life and my own experiences. I believe I have been mostly (albeit not completely.. there are days for all of us, ain't there!) succcessful with it and am grateful for the men and women in my life who have helped me along the way but especially to those men who had that ability to tap into the inside. Some means were better than others, some more healthy, some less so. All of them contributed though, Himself most of all.
Fuck, I'm crying. I hate that. It's not from being sad or anything. It's just .. hell, I don't know what it is. Maybe it's menopause.
Anyway..
I wrote this when I was 16 years old:
Nothing, nothing, nobody..
No one, no where..
Guess that's me.
That 16 year old is always going to be a part of who I am. The 51 year old woman I am today realizes how small that little girl really is, how small that part plays in my real life and in my day to day living as a full woman.
Still, though.. to deny her? I can't. I won't, so there she is, under there, at the core along with all the things which are beautiful about me.. like the time I was about 30, laying out on the grass watching the meteor shower with my only son. That was glorious and I love the woman I was that day just kicking back with her son enjoying the show nature put on for us. I don't want any piece of me to be an orphan so I will continue to embrace and nurture all the parts of me that I know and, hopefully, continue to discover new facets along the way that help me to grow as a person, a woman and a slave.
With love, respect and trust.. I can be the woman you dreamed of.. but combine that with feeding the least part of me, with power, lust and energy.. feed the least, feed what was the lost and you will find the woman I am, even if it's not the woman you dream of..
In the end, what you describe in your OP, to me, is the emotional side of being a loving and caring man and, even then, only applies as any individual would deem as people will take and discard the parts which don't suit their particular dynamic. The emotional side of Mastery, well, Himself's mastery is a much different thing and, based on my experience, has just the right amount of the inhumanity that meshes with my own and fills us both.
_____________________________
"Oh, so it's just like Rock, paper, scissors." He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."
|
RE: The emotional side of Mastership - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread