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slave needing Dominants POV - 2/23/2012 7:36:35 AM   
girlbri


Posts: 12
Joined: 1/28/2012
Status: offline 		Hello,

i consider myself a slave, but needing Master's/boyfriends opinion on this subject.

If your slave, submissive, and or girlfriend went into the e.r. for being sick would you feel you needed to be there with her? Would you feel she could be a grown up and handle it herself? That she is just going to lay there and watch tv so you can go whenever? Or would you feel she/he is scared, insecure about what is going to happen, so as a Dominant you need to be there for her/him

oh and this was not an emergency per se...but a condition called pleurisy (fluid on the lungs)

i would appreciate your honest opinions..

bri

< Message edited by girlbri -- 2/23/2012 8:04:43 AM >
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RE: slave needing Dominants POV - 2/23/2012 7:47:35 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		There's no way in hell he'd allow me to be alone at the ER.

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RE: slave needing Dominants POV - 2/23/2012 7:53:43 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I'd be there.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: slave needing Dominants POV - 2/23/2012 7:54:13 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		There are too many variables to answer. As OsideGirl said, there is zero chance Carol would be in the hospital with anything serious without me being there. But in order to answer your question I'd need to know how much peril you were in and what else was going on in his life at the moment.

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RE: slave needing Dominants POV - 2/23/2012 7:57:03 AM   
MerlynEmrys


Posts: 10
Joined: 10/30/2011
Status: offline 		Lets take out the Master/Slave relationship. I have a friend that has gone into the ER. I would at least ask if they need me there, maybe to drive them home, maybe to hold there hand, maybe to talk to them while they are waiting for the doctor to show up and help them.

I don't see how a D/S relationship changes any of my feelings for caring for a friend.

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RE: slave needing Dominants POV - 2/23/2012 8:19:59 AM   
girlbri


Posts: 12
Joined: 1/28/2012
Status: offline 		i get pleurisy which is fluid around the lungs..which is not an emergency per se but it has formed fluid around my heart ...which is serious. i have also had to have a procedure where they stick a large needle in my side and drain the fluid off my lungs..(which is very serious)

Going into the e.r. who knows which of these are going to become an issue...this is very traumatic for me personally so i like to have someone with me..my Master preferably



< Message edited by girlbri -- 2/23/2012 8:20:43 AM >

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RE: slave needing Dominants POV - 2/23/2012 8:28:29 AM   
SoftBonds


Posts: 862
Joined: 2/10/2012
Status: offline 		I'd be there, I might have to head off for classes/work/watching kids, but would come back when that was handled. You should have someone there for you...

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RE: slave needing Dominants POV - 2/23/2012 8:30:38 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SoftBonds

I'd be there, I might have to head off for classes/work/watching kids, but would come back when that was handled. You should have someone there for you...



Without more info, I'd agree with this.

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RE: slave needing Dominants POV - 2/23/2012 8:31:52 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Yeah, even non-emergency he wants to be there. I went to the doctor for a respiratory infection and he asked more questions about my care than I did.

The only time he's usually not there is if it's a routine check up.

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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: slave needing Dominants POV - 2/23/2012 8:50:52 AM   
masque303


Posts: 1
Joined: 2/22/2012
Status: offline 		Dominant or not, if someone who matters to my life is in the hospital, especially if they are alone and frightened, I would be there.

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RE: slave needing Dominants POV - 2/23/2012 9:40:37 AM   
JanahX


Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline 		Um ... usually if someone cares about you, they visit you when you are in the hospital whether you are a slave, baker man or thief. If they dont care about you ---->and dont visit you, you can probably assume that they care more about the shit on their shoe than they do about you.

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RE: slave needing Dominants POV - 2/23/2012 10:15:37 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: girlbri

i get pleurisy which is fluid around the lungs..which is not an emergency per se but it has formed fluid around my heart ...which is serious. i have also had to have a procedure where they stick a large needle in my side and drain the fluid off my lungs..(which is very serious)

Going into the e.r. who knows which of these are going to become an issue...this is very traumatic for me personally so i like to have someone with me..my Master preferably



So the big questions are, have you discussed this with him? Have you told him your feelings? Is he planning to be there?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: slave needing Dominants POV - 2/23/2012 10:25:24 AM   
girlbri


Posts: 12
Joined: 1/28/2012
Status: offline 		Yes i have, i've been up front and honest and being hurt..he doesn't see my side of this at all.

i shouldn't apologize for my feelings being hurt because i'm sick and when you're sick (this kind of sick) it's scary..who wants a needle shoved in through their ribs? i didn't know what was going to happen last night. Having dye run through me, being doped up your thought process isn't good.

OH well, guess i have some big decisions to make in the near future.


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RE: slave needing Dominants POV - 2/23/2012 10:28:51 AM   
hangemhigh1953


Posts: 245
Joined: 7/8/2011
Status: offline 		I think D/s qualifies as a significant other, doesn't it? So why shouldn't he care enough to be there for you in a time like that?

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RE: slave needing Dominants POV - 2/23/2012 10:33:32 AM   
girlbri


Posts: 12
Joined: 1/28/2012
Status: offline 		i'm extremely hurt, yes i'm a big girl i can deal with being at the e.r. alone..and i did..BUT if i'm in a committed relationship why am i alone? i mean i didn't ever expect him to be with me during work hours..He has an important job..i get it.

BUT when he got off @ 6 and went home (our home) and didn't come to the hospital until 830,...that was the problem.

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RE: slave needing Dominants POV - 2/23/2012 10:34:43 AM   
Fornica


Posts: 2986
Status: offline 		Uh yeah. If he can't take the time to be there for you, fuck that. Regardless of your sub/slave or D status, that's bullshit. He doesn't want to be bothered being there for you, it doesn't give much reassurance about his level of giveafuck about you, yk?

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RE: slave needing Dominants POV - 2/23/2012 12:11:45 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I get pleurisy every winter. I have never gone to an E.R. for it. It's actually fluid on the pleurals of the lungs...yup, painful as hell but basically you just rest, take it easy and wait for the healing.

As for the question though....I would hope Master would want to be with me at the E.R. not because he feels I can't take care of myself but because he loves and cares for me and is concerned for me. He KNOWS I'm more than capable of taking care of myself but when someone is hurting and/or ill that you love and adore you want to be there for them in every single way. This has nothing to do with bdsm or D/s. This is just simple relationship stuff.

ETA after reading the entire thread....you have much more than just pleurisy and yeah he should have been there for you. If Master was never there for me in a time like that I'd have to really look at our relationship and yeah...it would probably end. I'd see him as just not caring about me. Even when I have doctor's appointments, he doesn't go with me but he expects me to call and let him know what went on and he reminds me to ask certain questions beforehand and asks tons of questions after.




< Message edited by littlewonder -- 2/23/2012 12:16:40 PM >

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RE: slave needing Dominants POV - 2/23/2012 12:22:01 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: girlbri
..this is very traumatic for me personally so i like to have someone with me..


If you have a medical condition that is very traumatic for you, only a total cunt wouldn't go to the ER with you.


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RE: slave needing Dominants POV - 2/23/2012 12:23:17 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: masque303

Dominant or not, if someone who matters to my life is in the hospital, especially if they are alone and frightened, I would be there.


Ker-fucking bingo. To me, it's really as simple as this.

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RE: slave needing Dominants POV - 2/23/2012 12:51:38 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Having many medical issues myself, I have been with men that could handle it and those that couldn't. I've learned to tell the difference in a man that will be there and those that won't. Some handle it, some talk it well... some really try and some are just shit about it. At the worst time... when you need someone the most... isn't the time to find out whether they have a heart... have the bravery to face medical issues or hospitals which many dislike and some... just use a phobia of them to excuse themselves.. but it isn't the time to do someone wrong and he did.

He showed you that whatever reasons he had for not being there... whether you are a big girl or not... that he is a little man who cannot be brave, cannot stand up and cannot be a full partner. While I do get that hospital and sick time isn't easy and not everyone's cup of tea... (who the hell likes it anyway)... he showed you what he is really made of.

Yes, if you wish to be valued and nurtured in any manner... this flake isn't the one for you. You have lost trust and will not trust that he has your back or even cares much for you. That will always be on your mind, especially during the times you know what might be coming soon... like next year.

Get well... cut your loses and find someone that will be a whole person in a whole relationship and give to you what you deserve. Tell future men that this happens. Be honest and do it rather quickly when getting to know someone. Let the weak run... save yourself the time and heartache. When you find one that asks about it, takes an interest in knowing what you go through and what he will face if with you... you may have a keeper. It took a long time to find my guy... but he would move heaven and earth if he had to to be there for me. That is the kind of guy you need.


< Message edited by Lockit -- 2/23/2012 1:06:06 PM >

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