Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Did I do something wrong?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Did I do something wrong? Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Did I do something wrong? - 3/1/2012 10:37:09 AM   
orimotis69


Posts: 69
Joined: 10/21/2011
Status: offline
So I'm currently talking to a sub I meet from CM and things started off fairly good. I asked her questions like what she does, what kind of experiences she had, and what kind of fantasies she has. I of course also told her about myself. Most of the time I was asking her questions and she never really asked me anything even though I told that she should. But now she telling me that she doesn't have time for this and that I'm not a real Master. Is there something I'm missing here? I didn't try to rush anything so I took it slow and wanted to get to know her more. I've communicated with her through IM but we haven't talked to each other through web cam yet.
Should I respond to this or should I just move on?

_____________________________

-Accepting another's path blinds you to alternatives.
-Every point of view is useful, even those that are wrong - if we can judge why a wrong view was accepted.
-You have not really defeated the enemy if you adopt their methods.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Did I do something wrong? - 3/1/2012 10:41:36 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline
I don't think you did anything wrong. I think you 2 are just incompatible.

It's a hell of a lot better to find out now than 2 years from now. Keep it up. You'll find someone. Just be yourself and don't compromise your values.

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to orimotis69)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Did I do something wrong? - 3/1/2012 10:43:38 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
She's looking for something other than what you're offering. Don't be offended, after all it could be that she's looking for something that is not realistic.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Hillwilliam)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Did I do something wrong? - 3/1/2012 10:45:54 AM   
DomMeinCT


Posts: 2355
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: orimotis69

Most of the time I was asking her questions and she never really asked me anything even though I told that she should. But now she telling me that she doesn't have time for this and that I'm not a real Master.


I think she's given you the answer: She wants to move on. No matter what her reasoning, or whether you agree with it or not, she's saying she's not interested, so why respond? Expend your positive energy on more compatible women.

_____________________________

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

~ Carl Jung

(in reply to orimotis69)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Did I do something wrong? - 3/1/2012 10:48:56 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomMeinCT


quote:

ORIGINAL: orimotis69

Most of the time I was asking her questions and she never really asked me anything even though I told that she should. But now she telling me that she doesn't have time for this and that I'm not a real Master.


I think she's given you the answer: She wants to move on. No matter what her reasoning, or whether you agree with it or not, she's saying she's not interested, so why respond? Expend your positive energy on more compatible women.


This.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to DomMeinCT)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Did I do something wrong? - 3/1/2012 10:49:35 AM   
SoftBonds


Posts: 862
Joined: 2/10/2012
Status: offline
There is a supply and demand issue on the site too. Lots of guys, especially Dom guys, not so many Sub women.
So any given sub woman will probably have lots of guys talking to her. She might have thought you were cool until someone even better showed up. She might have chatted with you as a "backup," and then her prefered Dom wanted to claim her. You might have been one of 5 "in the running," until someone pulled out something that really caught her eye.
In other words, there is a good chance it wasn't you, it was just her.
That said, there are a lot of women on earth (3 billion plus), so don't worry, you will find the right one.

_____________________________

Elite Thread Hijacker!
Ignored: ThompsonX, RealOne (so folks know why I don't reply)

The last poster is often not the "winner," of the thread, just the one who was most annoying.

(in reply to DomMeinCT)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Did I do something wrong? - 3/1/2012 10:51:27 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
Until someone actually makes an effort beyond the land of computers and phones......they are ALL backups!

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to SoftBonds)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Did I do something wrong? - 3/1/2012 11:02:04 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
You should move on. What does it matter what her reasons are.

As an aside, if I were you I'd be happy this all happened. The moment she came out with the "real master" thing I'd know that if nothing else, she was too parochial and too judgemental to be life partner with me. I'm good with "you're not what I'm looking for". But declaring someone else "unreal" is just plain insulting.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to orimotis69)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Did I do something wrong? - 3/1/2012 11:57:25 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC
The moment she came out with the "real master" thing I'd know that if nothing else, she was too parochial and too judgemental to be life partner with me. I'm good with "you're not what I'm looking for". But declaring someone else "unreal" is just plain insulting.


Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. These words usually come from people that haven't had a long term D/s relationship (or even any real time D/s relationship) and have unrealistic expectations of what a "master" should be.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Did I do something wrong? - 3/1/2012 12:21:32 PM   
orimotis69


Posts: 69
Joined: 10/21/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC
The moment she came out with the "real master" thing I'd know that if nothing else, she was too parochial and too judgemental to be life partner with me. I'm good with "you're not what I'm looking for". But declaring someone else "unreal" is just plain insulting.


Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. These words usually come from people that haven't had a long term D/s relationship (or even any real time D/s relationship) and have unrealistic expectations of what a "master" should be.


Perhaps, but she did say she had a Master for 3 years. After sending out so many messages on CM, it's kinda sad that my first encounter ended this way. But moving on is the only thing I can really do.

_____________________________

-Accepting another's path blinds you to alternatives.
-Every point of view is useful, even those that are wrong - if we can judge why a wrong view was accepted.
-You have not really defeated the enemy if you adopt their methods.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Did I do something wrong? - 3/1/2012 1:05:52 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
Dude, quit being such a wussie.

If that described situation on your one and only bit of communication is going to get you down, you better high tail your ass off the internet.

Seriously.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to orimotis69)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Did I do something wrong? - 3/1/2012 1:45:46 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

it's kinda sad that my first encounter ended this way.


I sure had to kiss a lot of CM frogs before I found my prince; be patient.

Thought - perhaps you are starting with the sex talk too quickly?

(in reply to orimotis69)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Did I do something wrong? - 3/1/2012 1:49:08 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: orimotis69


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC
The moment she came out with the "real master" thing I'd know that if nothing else, she was too parochial and too judgemental to be life partner with me. I'm good with "you're not what I'm looking for". But declaring someone else "unreal" is just plain insulting.


Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. These words usually come from people that haven't had a long term D/s relationship (or even any real time D/s relationship) and have unrealistic expectations of what a "master" should be.


Perhaps, but she did say she had a Master for 3 years.

That doesn't mean anything. Did ya read the thread where a woman showed up at his house, gave him money, blew him, cleaned his house and then left....for two years? She called him a Master.

To some people, having a play session every Saturday night gets them to say they had a Master, when in reality, they just had a kinky sex date. In other words.....still hasn't had a D/s relationship....

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to orimotis69)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Did I do something wrong? - 3/1/2012 3:43:24 PM   
DommesLesEnigma


Posts: 108
Joined: 2/12/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: orimotis69


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC
The moment she came out with the "real master" thing I'd know that if nothing else, she was too parochial and too judgemental to be life partner with me. I'm good with "you're not what I'm looking for". But declaring someone else "unreal" is just plain insulting.


Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. These words usually come from people that haven't had a long term D/s relationship (or even any real time D/s relationship) and have unrealistic expectations of what a "master" should be.


Perhaps, but she did say she had a Master for 3 years. After sending out so many messages on CM, it's kinda sad that my first encounter ended this way. But moving on is the only thing I can really do.



Dude...I got news for you. More than likely you got many more encounters to come. That is before you find a good one. Just be patient. A lot of them are saying they want this and that when all they really want to do is do the online thing and not the real life thing.

_____________________________

There are many people that have found their way. The great ones are those that help others find their way.

(in reply to orimotis69)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Did I do something wrong? - 3/2/2012 7:02:27 PM   
Alecta


Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: orimotis69

So I'm currently talking to a sub I meet from CM and things started off fairly good. I asked her questions like what she does, what kind of experiences she had, and what kind of fantasies she has. I of course also told her about myself. Most of the time I was asking her questions and she never really asked me anything even though I told that she should. But now she telling me that she doesn't have time for this and that I'm not a real Master. Is there something I'm missing here? I didn't try to rush anything so I took it slow and wanted to get to know her more. I've communicated with her through IM but we haven't talked to each other through web cam yet.
Should I respond to this or should I just move on?


Yes.
Chances are she gets off on the "email fantasy" that on the other side of the screen is a man whose deepest desire is to do all manners of sordid unspeakable things to her that you send email after email expounding on. Which in being a human being interested in getting to know her, you have failed to portray yourself as. Chances are also that you have failed to show your willingness and ability to take her in and make her a kept woman.
In my experience, that's mostly where the two accusations stem from.

(in reply to orimotis69)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Did I do something wrong? - 3/2/2012 7:25:17 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: orimotis69

So I'm currently talking to a sub I meet from CM and things started off fairly good. I asked her questions like what she does, what kind of experiences she had, and what kind of fantasies she has. I of course also told her about myself. Most of the time I was asking her questions and she never really asked me anything even though I told that she should. But now she telling me that she doesn't have time for this and that I'm not a real Master. Is there something I'm missing here? I didn't try to rush anything so I took it slow and wanted to get to know her more. I've communicated with her through IM but we haven't talked to each other through web cam yet.
Should I respond to this or should I just move on?


Comma's and apostrophe's.

(But it's only a guess).

(in reply to orimotis69)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Did I do something wrong? - 3/2/2012 7:31:59 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie


Comma's and apostrophe's.



Commas and apostrophes.

There, fixed it for ya, Nook.

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Did I do something wrong? - 3/2/2012 7:53:40 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt


quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie


Comma's and apostrophe's.



Commas and apostrophes.

There, fixed it for ya, Nook.



(SHIT!!!!)

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Did I do something wrong? - 3/3/2012 4:58:13 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
Now now, plural, not possessive.

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Did I do something wrong? - 3/3/2012 6:12:23 AM   
fucktoyprincess


Posts: 2337
Status: offline
FR

The internet search can take time. And people, if they are real, are prone to making snap judgments at times. Not much that one can do about that, except to move on and continue searching.

As others have said, one is searching for compatibility. So at the end of the day, it's either there or it isn't, and because any relationship is a two-way street, one person's interest is insufficient. It takes two. And if one is bowing out, there is nothing the other can do but let her make her choice.

Here is another thing to remember. If she changes her mind, she knows where to reach you. But continuing to try to convince her will only convince her more of the incompatibility.

_____________________________

~ ftp

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Did I do something wrong? Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094