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RE: restrictions on addictions - 3/5/2012 9:39:46 AM

kalikshama

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quote:

I have never been an alcoholic but I did use alcohol as an escape.

I am glad your M has forbidden you to drink, as using alcohol to escape does mean that you have a problem with it.

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RE: restrictions on addictions - 3/5/2012 10:18:52 AM

RaspberryLemon

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Wonderful advice, Asherscorp1! Perhaps not something that would work for everyone, but it would most definitely work for me. :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LunaM
I see addictions as unhealthy things. My master smokes. Would I ever dream of telling him to stop? Ha! Thats laughable.

This bit of your post reminded me of this. Back in the very beginning of our relationship, my Master smoked cigarettes. He had already been doing so for a couple years before he met me. It bothered me because I did not like the addiction and the consequences it could have on his health. However, despite not liking it, it was not a deal breaker to me, and I felt it wasn't my place to try and change him. So I told him early on my feelings on the matter, but that I wouldn't ever ask him to stop.

His response? "I'll stop." He handed me his last pack and told me to give it back when I wanted him to smoke again. I told him if it were up to me, he'd never smoke again. He said that was find by him. He didn't really like his smoking habit in the first place but saw no real reason or motivation to quit. I became his motivation, and in his eyes that was a good enough "reason" to dedicate himself to quitting. Being the hardheaded stubborn ass he is, he decided that he was going to quit cold turkey, and promised he would never have another cigarette from that day forth. His discipline was impressive, but he still had quite a few slip-ups down the line that really hurt me because of broken promises and irritability on his part, and because of my own frustration with not understanding how hard it can be to kick an addiction. It was a rough time for both of us but I supported his decision, tried to hold him to his word, and eventually he succeeded. To this day he always tells everyone it was one of the best decisions he has made in his life, and he points to me in pride and gratitude for my help, although personally I feel I didn't do much. I am glad he quit and it does make me feel good that (at least he thinks) I helped, and because of that his life is a little better, something that makes me swell with warm fuzzies. This is only sort-of relevant to this thread but I wanted to share the story. I'm very proud of him and I feel that, were I ever to have to kick an addiction, doing it for him would be more than enough motivation to keep me going.

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RE: restrictions on addictions - 3/5/2012 10:19:08 AM

fucktoyprincess

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FR

It is my understanding that both sugar and caffeine are addictive. So, to the extent that you are drinking regular Mountain Dew, it is probably an addiction to both that is at issue.

If you have addiction issues that are more alcohol or drug related I agree with those who mentioned 12 steps. Other approaches are unlikely to work.

At the end of the day, you will be successful with the soft drinks if YOU really want to make it happen. And as it is ultimately a positive thing for you, I would really embrace the change in a positive manner and work at trying to keep away from it. But I do have one caveat. Typically, when people do something for someone else, once that person is no longer in their lives, the old bad habit has a way of re-emerging, particularly if deprivation from certain items is associated with the Dominant. So, at the end of the day, please try to do this for YOURSELF and for the health benefits it will give you in the long run, and not just for your Dominant. Otherwise you run the risk, down the line, of simply going back to these habits.

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RE: restrictions on addictions - 3/5/2012 10:27:41 AM

LunaM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RaspberryLemon

Wonderful advice, Asherscorp1! Perhaps not something that would work for everyone, but it would most definitely work for me. :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LunaM
I see addictions as unhealthy things. My master smokes. Would I ever dream of telling him to stop? Ha! Thats laughable.
This bit of your post reminded me of this. Back in the very beginning of our relationship, my Master smoked cigarettes. He had already been doing so for a couple years before he met me. It bothered me because I did not like the addiction and the consequences it could have on his health. However, despite not liking it, it was not a deal breaker to me, and I felt it wasn't my place to try and change him. So I told him early on my feelings on the matter, but that I wouldn't ever ask him to stop.

His response? "I'll stop." He handed me his last pack and told me to give it back when I wanted him to smoke again. I told him if it were up to me, he'd never smoke again. He said that was find by him. He didn't really like his smoking habit in the first place but saw no real reason or motivation to quit. I became his motivation, and in his eyes that was a good enough "reason" to dedicate himself to quitting. Being the hardheaded stubborn ass he is, he decided that he was going to quit cold turkey, and promised he would never have another cigarette from that day forth. His discipline was impressive, but he still had quite a few slip-ups down the line that really hurt me because of broken promises and irritability on his part, and because of my own frustration with not understanding how hard it can be to kick an addiction. It was a rough time for both of us but I supported his decision, tried to hold him to his word, and eventually he succeeded. To this day he always tells everyone it was one of the best decisions he has made in his life, and he points to me in pride and gratitude for my help, although personally I feel I didn't do much. I am glad he quit and it does make me feel good that (at least he thinks) I helped, and because of that his life is a little better, something that makes me swell with warm fuzzies. This is only sort-of relevant to this thread but I wanted to share the story. I'm very proud of him and I feel that, were I ever to have to kick an addiction, doing it for him would be more than enough motivation to keep me going.

Thats quite impressive that you guys were able to work so well together to help him kick his addiction. Of course I'm sure there were arguments and such but you stuck it out and that speaks volumes of your relationship

For me its not something I would push on him. He doesn't want to so he won't. Without a reason or want its hard to kick an addiction IMO

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RE: restrictions on addictions - 3/5/2012 10:46:55 AM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Sugar is a drug just as much as caffeine. Think otherwise? Try quitting all sugar. Heck, give up refined sugars.
It's a bitch of a nightmare to quit.

Your body is as dependent on sugar as any other drug you put into it.

Actually, in the US it's high fructose corn syrup which they believe leads to non-alcoholic fatty liver.

quote:

It has also been proven that our bodies break down high-fructose corn syrup in different ways than the type of sucrose found in typical table sugar. Indeed, our bodies break down high-fructose corn syrup through our liver, and this can lead to health problems such as fatty liver, and it has also been proven that the liver converts fructose into fat far easier than it does natural sucrose.

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RE: restrictions on addictions - 3/5/2012 10:59:53 AM

DesFIP

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Caffeine withdrawal is a bitch. You do better tapering down than going cold turkey. One glass with caffeine and the next being a caffeine free. After a couple of days, one caffeine to two decafs. And so on. Caffeine is the most widely used psychotropic drug in the world. It was foolish of him to decree this without learning about it.

As far as other addictions go, this is a society wide problem. People are hard wired to seek things that stimulate the pleasure centers in the brain. There are effective treatments (not cures) for people with alcohol, drug, sex and gambling addictions. They should be used.

Nicotine treatments exist and ought to be used.

D/s is not a cure for addiction.

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RE: restrictions on addictions - 3/5/2012 11:07:45 AM

RaspberryLemon

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LunaM
Thats quite impressive that you guys were able to work so well together to help him kick his addiction. Of course I'm sure there were arguments and such but you stuck it out and that speaks volumes of your relationship

For me its not something I would push on him. He doesn't want to so he won't. Without a reason or want its hard to kick an addiction IMO

Indeed, there were tough times and sometimes arguments, some coming from him just being irritable and irrational because of it, and some coming from my lack of understanding fully what he was going through. It was certainly rough at times. But yeah, we worked through it and I think we both came out for the better.

And I agree, if someone doesn't want to rid themselves of an addiction, it is generally pointless to try and force them to do so. I would not have tried to push him into quitting had he not suggested it to me, but I am glad he did. :)

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RE: restrictions on addictions - 3/5/2012 12:09:39 PM

Winterapple

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FR
Your Mountain Dew addiction is probably
primarily a caffiene addiction. MD is loaded
in caffeine, one reason it's popular with cramming
students. Your physical symptoms are classic
caffeine withdrawal symptoms. You always
get headaches when you first give up caffeine,
something to do with dilating blood vessels or
something. Frankly, I think you should just
go cold turkey but you can go the longer
weening route.
I gave up caffeine because of sleep issues and
anxiety issues several years ago. I went
cold turkey and I've not regretted it.
Improved my sleep and helped mellow my
high-strung ass down.
If it's soda you crave try caffeine free diet
sodas for awhile to see if it's soda you like
or just caffiene.
Letting go of caffiene, junk food and to a certain
extent nicotine(all are very addictive) is something
a Dom could realistically expect but other
addictions are more complex.
I don't think anyone can give up a serious
addiction for another person. To want to be
healthy for the ones we love can certainly
be a motivator but it's not enough on it's own.
Some addictions require professional help,
support groups, recovery programs.
There's a difference in being a dry drunk
and a recovering alcoholic.
I am and have been for several years a
recovering bulimic. My recovery is my responsibility.
I'm in charge of it. I would never give that
over to a partner. I have to know my triggers,
follow the treatment plan, go to therapy , etc.
A Dom isn't a counselor and even if he is he
shouldn't be one to someone he is in a
intimate relationship with.
D/s isn't a cure for addiction. A Dom can
encourage and support you.
And caffiene and nicotine aren't vodka and
heroin so getting off them is probably in
the realm of doable. But more serious addictive
behavior needs to be overseen by qualified
people.

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RE: restrictions on addictions - 3/5/2012 12:56:01 PM

littleone35

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I really don't have any bad addiction's . Well i do have an addiction to Masters touch but he has no need to curtail that. Master on the other had used to smoke. I lot count of the number of times i begged him to quit but he did not want to. So now he has COPD and had to quit. I am glad that he quit but i wish hed id not get sick so he had to quit.

Matt's littleone

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RE: restrictions on addictions - 3/5/2012 4:34:26 PM

sunshinemiss

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I am gonna go make some coffee. Because I can.

; at little wonder.

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RE: restrictions on addictions - 3/5/2012 4:40:39 PM

littlewonder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

I am gonna go make some coffee. Because I can.

; at little wonder.

oh that's just cruel!

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RE: restrictions on addictions - 3/5/2012 4:42:01 PM

LunaM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

I am gonna go make some coffee. Because I can.

; at little wonder.

oh that's just cruel!

I agree! That's so harsh.
Do it again. *evil grin*
Lol, I kid.

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RE: restrictions on addictions - 3/5/2012 4:57:39 PM

fallon0627

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Thank you to everyone for your great post.
To let you know how bad it was and how far I have come before I meet my Master. I use to drink 3 32oz big gulps a day at work then drank 3 or 4 glasses at home of Mt Dew regular. I was down to 1 or 2 20oz diet the last year or so. It is the caffeine that I am addicted to and the crazy thing is I can drink a glass of mt dew and go right to sleep.

I want to get rid of soda in general because it is so bad for your body. I have lost 40 lb over the last year and want to continue improving my health. I didn't realize how badly this addiction was till I was told one 12oz a week.

I have told him of my slips recently and we will have to deal with them this week when I see him. I did make the 20oz last 8hrs. He has quit his soda habit cold turkey and is working on being as healthy as he can. He has been great on giving me alternatives to drink like a energy tea and coffee that is thermeoginic. Its a skinny tea and coffee which does give me alot of energy, but it doesnt replace the desire for mt dew.

I do want to quit for me, but I dont want to disapoint him. He sees my failures as his and that is just not something that I can contribute to knowingly. Yes as a sub/slave I will make mistakes and mess up but not on purpose.

Thank you again for all the advice, stories and support.

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RE: restrictions on addictions - 3/5/2012 4:59:58 PM

fallon0627

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Lol. Sunshinemiss that is to funny. Yes well I would go drink mt dew but i cant. enjoy the coffee.

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RE: restrictions on addictions - 3/5/2012 8:18:16 PM

Kana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

I am gonna go make some coffee. Because I can.

; at little wonder.

Please post this daily at 5:01 PM EST...just to rub it in :-)

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RE: restrictions on addictions - 3/5/2012 8:20:56 PM

littlewonder

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that's soooo not fair!

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RE: restrictions on addictions - 3/5/2012 8:25:56 PM

Kana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

that's soooo not fair!

But so much fun!

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RE: restrictions on addictions - 3/6/2012 3:42:15 AM

sunshinemiss

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Awwwwwwwwww.... So... of course that little I'm-Still-Not-Home-From-Work-Yet thing at 5 a.m. EST..... But glad so many got a laugh out of it. (I almost gave myself the QOTD because I giggled too!)

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RE: restrictions on addictions - 3/6/2012 5:52:37 AM

kalikshama

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I heard the author of The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business interviewed on NPR yesterday and thought of this thread.

A young woman walks into a laboratory. Over the past two years, she has transformed almost every aspect of her life. She has quit smoking, run a marathon, and been promoted at work. The patterns inside her brain, neurologists discover, have fundamentally changed.

Marketers at Procter & Gamble study videos of people making their beds. They are desperately trying to figure out how to sell a new product called Febreze, on track to be one of the biggest flops in company history. Suddenly, one of them detects a nearly imperceptible pattern—and with a slight shift in advertising, Febreze goes on to earn a billion dollars a year.

An untested CEO takes over one of the largest companies in America. His first order of business is attacking a single pattern among his employees—how they approach worker safety—and soon the firm, Alcoa, becomes the top performer in the Dow Jones.

What do all these people have in common? They achieved success by focusing on the patterns that shape every aspect of our lives.

They succeeded by transforming habits.

In The Power of Habit, award-winning New York Times business reporter Charles Duhigg takes us to the thrilling edge of scientific discoveries that explain why habits exist and how they can be changed. With penetrating intelligence and an ability to distill vast amounts of information into engrossing narratives, Duhigg brings to life a whole new understanding of human nature and its potential for transformation.

Along the way we learn why some people and companies struggle to change, despite years of trying, while others seem to remake themselves overnight. We visit laboratories where neuroscientists explore how habits work and where, exactly, they reside in our brains. We discover how the right habits were crucial to the success of Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps, Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz, and civil-rights hero Martin Luther King, Jr. We go inside Procter & Gamble, Target superstores, Rick Warren’s Saddleback Church, NFL locker rooms, and the nation’s largest hospitals and see how implementing so-called keystone habits can earn billions and mean the difference between failure and success, life and death.

At its core, The Power of Habit contains an exhilarating argument: The key to exercising regularly, losing weight, raising exceptional children, becoming more productive, building revolutionary companies and social movements, and achieving success is understanding how habits work.

Habits aren’t destiny. As Charles Duhigg shows, by harnessing this new science, we can transform our businesses, our communities, and our lives.

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RE: restrictions on addictions - 3/7/2012 10:40:38 AM

DesFIP

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Habits aren't destiny, but addictions aren't habits. It's important to note the distinction between them.

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