RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (Full Version)

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kittinSol -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 4:52:44 PM)

Hmmmm, wasn't that a tad 'twisted' (see your avatar)?

Interesting case, in general, anyway.



marieToo -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 4:53:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra

marie, I totally understand your passion about this... after the thread was locked, I went to pinkee in email and made sure that she'd misunderstood...
 
Really I think that some people simply don't know how to differentiate respectful debate from arguing. I respect your thoughts, and share them... I simply believe that there are always "exceptions" to any ethical position...
 
Thats one reason I love to discuss ethics in various settings... I think that everyone, old timer or newcomer can learn something. Maybe what you learn is a new way to look at things... then again maybe what you learn is that you had it right "for you" all along. ~smiles~
 
I'm not sure what I'll ultimately take from this discussion, there's so much to digest.
 
I do hope that because I chose to act differently than you would have, that you will not think too harshly of me. I enjoy discussions where you're talking part...
 
Kathryn


Think harshly of you?  No way!  I emailed you right after the thread got locked down.  Once you read that you will understand.  At another time in another place, I may have done exactly the same thing.  My "argument" was never that much about whether or not you made the right decision, as it was about emphasizing having two different standards.  I totally understand your passion and reasons for your decision and I respect and appreciate those reasons.
 
I enjoy the the differing view points and sometimes even a stubborn mind like my own is opened up a bit .  I agree about the problem differentiating between debate/disagreement and argument.  Personally, it has always been and still remains a challenge for me remain tactful when Im met with verbal opposition, or others who dont always agree with something that I feel strongly about.  You have conducted yourself with complete class throughout this thread.  I totally admire you.  Thanks for a wonderful discussion.  
 
marie



Calandra -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 4:54:05 PM)

hiya leatherkatt I seeeee you!
 
Did the bear give you the hug I sentcha?
 



Calandra -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 4:59:10 PM)

OMG, don't make me blush.... ~grinz~
 
I didn't get an email from ya.... ~grumbles~
 
what should we butt heads about next????
 
Don't you hate those "why can't we all just get along?" posts too?



feastie -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 5:09:47 PM)

I sent you an email too, Calandra. 



Calandra -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 5:16:50 PM)

I got yours... just haven't been able to catch up on all the emails yet...

and the blog is gone, whether it was pulled by her or by the site, I'm not sure... I hope she pulled it actually... maybe we can have peace after all?



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 5:19:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra

I have a really really sincere but stupid question.... how can someone who's bisexual be almost mental about polyamory? how does one experience both genders sexually if they're not at least open to poly?

reason I ask is cause the young lady in question claims she's bi... ~confused~

bi does not equal poly. 

Just because a female is heterosexual doesn't mean that they want to have sex with all men or more than one man at a time.

Just because a person is bisexual doesn't mean that they want to have sex with everyone or with more than one person at the same time.  It just means that they can form intimate relationships with and are attracted to multiple sexes.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 5:20:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra
Don't you hate those "why can't we all just get along?" posts too?

I dunno but all this "talking about someone where some people know who she is and some people don't" just seems a bit too middle schoolish to me.



Calandra -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 5:22:50 PM)

I guess thats just very different for me... I'm bisexual, but see no "need" to limit myself to only one partner as long as the other two are compatible with each other at least as friends...
 
iddn't it weird how so many different styles are possible? ~smiles~



Calandra -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 5:26:07 PM)

nononono... I wasn't talking specific person here... I was speaking about the fact that just as a discussion is getting deep, but interesting "SOMEONE" always says that, and I end up feeling like Cuba Gooding Jr. in Jerry McGuire when he says "you think we're arguing and I think were finally starting to communicate" Or something like that.... LOL

I was raised in a spanish and italian family... we don't "yell" we speak emphatically and with full volume turned up....



Sinergy -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 5:27:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee

What is a BOG?


A Bog is something that was once a lake and gradually filled with decaying organic matter to the point where it is more matter than
water.

In Scotland and Ireland these are predominately peat, and the water which runs out of them is what gives Scotch it's lovely flavors.

Sinergy



marieToo -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 5:58:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra

OMG, don't make me blush.... ~grinz~
 
I didn't get an email from ya.... ~grumbles~
 
what should we butt heads about next????
 
Don't you hate those "why can't we all just get along?" posts too?


Gees, thats weird.  Its showing on my end in my sent mail, but it shows an unread status.  It actually began as a post that I was typing out when they locked up this thread, and it wouldnt go through, so I mailed it.  
 
Let me try and send it again.  If you dont get it, please let me know, I will simply frame it up as a post, but I'll have to of course remove my naked pic from it first. ha!!  KIDDING!!   



Calandra -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 6:02:12 PM)

nakked pics????
 
~In my best Fred Sanford impression, throwing my hand over my heart and stumbling backwards~
 
Oh lord elizabeth, I'm coming!



ExistentialSteel -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 6:10:09 PM)

Calandra, thanks, in case, in my wildest, weirdest, most perverted moments I would have an intention of e-mailing this person. This was a no-brainer. Intellectual debate is one thing, but it can become absurd.



Calandra -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 6:14:25 PM)

ES, I wish with all my heart that people could come together on a forum or in email with sincere intentions of putting personal baggage aside and actually hearing each other... In almost every case of flaming, misunderstanding, and negativity I've ever seen online, it boiled down to one or both people talking "at" each other and not "to" each other...
 
I am really glad to have met and gotten to know a lot of really great people today...
 
 



Calandra -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 6:15:47 PM)

Damn, I have officially played the devil's advocate waaaay too much - LOL



tasha_tart -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 7:39:19 PM)

Ethical?  No.
 
Slimy?  Yes.
 
Criminal?  Possibly.  Copyright for private correspondence belongs to the writer.  Publishing it in any form is likely a violation of copyright law.
 
Actionable?  Probably not.
 
Bottom line?  Anything you post on a web site such as this is in the public domain, by your own hand.  Emails, IMs, and the like are only as safe as the recipient is trustworthy.
 
Just my $0.02.
 
Tasha



proudsub -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 8:00:25 PM)

(fast reply)

I've only read the first 10 pages of this thread so far so not sure if this has been mentioned or not.  For you newer members here that haven't seen earlier threads on being outed-you should know that a google search of your CM name will take people to your profile and your posts here.  So if you don't want to be outed be sure not to use a name that you use for email or on vanilla sites.



MistressSassy66 -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 8:14:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra

I wanted to ask for everyone's opinion... Do you think it is ethical to post email addresses, pictures, instant messenger ID's, and/or private correspondence to a popular vanilla website where "anyone" could run across it?
 
I realize that even here "anyone" could run across it, but they'd have to have a reason for coming here first (curiosity, kinky needs of their own, checking up on a spouse if there's already suspicion)... On a vanilla website a person could easily find these posts, maybe recognize a picture, and then boom, that person is outed.
 
Please explain why you answer the way that you do...




I actually belong to a vanilla site and post pics of My submissives.
None except bishop has a face in it and ALL have given Me permission to use their pic or them as a reference.

I wouldnt do so unless its okayed by persons being displayed.



slaverosebeauty -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 9:04:18 PM)

I did a bit of research, why, coz I am interested in law and after the amount of time I spend around lawyers, I thought it was a good hobby.

Legally, as long as the posts are made by the receiving or sending party it is NOT illegal. If the information, IMs, emails, etc are posted by a 3rd or 4th party then it becomes a matter of being legal, as once an email is sent, it become the property of the other party; unless, they stiputate something along the lines of 'NO SHARING'. I do that whenever I send ANY pics, just so that I have legal grounds for recourse later, if I ever need to do so.  

I agree with proudsub, if you don't want to be outed, then don't use your real name. People need to take responsibility for thieir own actions and NOT bash someone that they don't know or judge unless you have been in their shoes.



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