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How do you define stalking? - 6/3/2006 8:17:50 AM   
Calandra


Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline 		Since we're all up and actively discussin stuff, how do you define stalking... really?
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RE: How do you define stalking? - 6/3/2006 8:21:45 AM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		That depends on how you define stalking.

Yours,


benji

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RE: How do you define stalking? - 6/3/2006 8:22:46 AM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra

Since we're all up and actively discussin stuff, how do you define stalking... really?



I think it is stalking when someone is around you (or calls, emails, etc) without your invitation (or consent) more than 3 times a week.

Why?  Is some Indian with a very long tongue giving you trouble?

Taggard


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RE: How do you define stalking? - 6/3/2006 8:22:48 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		There is a difference between stalking and pursuing someone... make it REALLY easy for a definition:


Stalking: You tell someone to leave you alone and never contact you again and they will not leave you be. It doesnt matter if they follow you, email you, message you, phone you, go to where you work... You told them to leave you alone and they refuse to do that... that is stalking

On Edit I have been stalked and it was no fun

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 6/3/2006 8:24:00 AM >

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RE: How do you define stalking? - 6/3/2006 8:26:51 AM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
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Status: offline 		Reminds me of what my companion once said: "It's nice not being the only stalker in the relationship." LOL

On a serious note, I the one word that comes to mind would be obsessive.

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RE: How do you define stalking? - 6/3/2006 8:27:11 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


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Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		If nothing is happening offline- it's ridiculous possibly annoying crap.  I laugh at cyber stalking andp eople who get upset about it.

If it's happening offline, it's continued intrusive presence within your life and should be documented, taken very seriously and have the authorities contacted.

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RE: How do you define stalking? - 6/3/2006 8:27:18 AM   
angelface183


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quote:

 Stalking: You tell someone to leave you alone and never contact you again and they will not leave you be. It doesnt matter if they follow you, email you, message you, phone you, go to where you work... You told them to leave you alone and they refuse to do that... that is stalking 



what if they do not contact you, but instead contact people that you know?

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RE: How do you define stalking? - 6/3/2006 8:28:19 AM   
Tikkiee


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra

Since we're all up and actively discussin stuff, how do you define stalking... really?


For me personally, stalking takes different levels. Some are tolerated, some are not.
For example: if I happen to meet someone with whom I have no interest in, yet they continue to harrass in public, yes I would call that a level of stalking, but not really worth getting highly upset about. It's just an annoyance.
On the other end, if the same person follows me home, follows me to school or work, etc, continually, then it becomes cause for concern.

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RE: How do you define stalking? - 6/3/2006 8:30:40 AM   
kittensmailbox


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From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline 		Down deep i find it to be a lil bit of a thrill....

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RE: How do you define stalking? - 6/3/2006 8:35:59 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

If nothing is happening offline- it's ridiculous possibly annoying crap.  I laugh at cyber stalking andp eople who get upset about it.

If it's happening offline, it's continued intrusive presence within your life and should be documented, taken very seriously and have the authorities contacted.


I met someone online that stalked me when I began a new relationship. He remained an internet friend even though I had no romantic interest in him, and when he found out I was interested in someone else (I naively told him about this new person) he flipped out and stalked both of us via the internet. He was a fairly talented computer engineer and it was relatively easy for him to do.. So when your computer is freezing, getting tojans and that sort of thing (he attacked my new boyfriend's pc more than mine) it is serious. He did it because he thought my new guy would dump me, that did not happen, but it did create a lot of stress.

On Edit, I knew this person in the real world that stalked me too, he chose the internet as a weapon... very sick individual and I am very lucky he got sick of stalking me online and did not drive by my house every 10 seconds. I think some people choose to stalk over  the computer even though they live down the street because they think they can get away with it

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 6/3/2006 8:38:44 AM >

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RE: How do you define stalking? - 6/3/2006 8:36:26 AM   
Calandra


Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline 		I have to agree with you in your definition.
 
I think you must first ask/tell the person not to contact you again in order for it to be stalking... I have a personal rule that once I ask someone to discontinue contact, I let one email, call, whatever pass and then I consider it stalking.


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RE: How do you define stalking? - 6/3/2006 8:38:45 AM   
Calandra


Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline 		I had an "internet" stalker who contacted me with full details of my son's name, and what elementary school he attended, right down to the teacher's name.
 
turns out he was a cop who couldn't take no for an answer...

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RE: How do you define stalking? - 6/3/2006 8:40:08 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra

I had an "internet" stalker who contacted me with full details of my son's name, and what elementary school he attended, right down to the teacher's name.
 
turns out he was a cop who couldn't take no for an answer...


I have also had this happen because of my political activism... contact me they were going to kill me and my child... scary scary.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: How do you define stalking? - 6/3/2006 8:40:38 AM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

Reminds me of what my companion once said: "It's nice not being the only stalker in the relationship." LOL


That reminds me of the SNL skit that mocked a PSA:  It's only sexual harrassment if you are ugly!

Taggard


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A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.


My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

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RE: How do you define stalking? - 6/3/2006 8:46:21 AM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra

Since we're all up and actively discussin stuff, how do you define stalking... really?



When someone keeps bothering me, when I've told them to stop.

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Sing like no one is listening.
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and live like it's heaven on Earth.


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RE: How do you define stalking? - 6/3/2006 9:08:36 AM   
Tikkiee


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Joined: 4/6/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittensmailbox

Down deep i find it to be a lil bit of a thrill....

Yes, deep down there can be a bit of a thrill in being stalked. But it's still common sense to look at it with a degree of caution and concern when unwanted.

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RE: How do you define stalking? - 6/3/2006 9:30:53 AM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra

Since we're all up and actively discussin stuff, how do you define stalking... really?



I prefer to speak in terms of obsession; I welcome being obsessed over. If you must stalk me, stalk me well.

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RE: How do you define stalking? - 6/3/2006 9:32:50 AM   
iliv2servher


Posts: 228
Joined: 5/17/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra 

Since we're all up and actively discussin stuff, how do you define stalking... really?



That's simple.  If after you make it clear that you are not interested in persuing a relationship with that person, and he or she takes no heed, but continues on, then I believe that this person is stalking you.
Best advise: Block E-mails from that individual and notify CM's Customer Support.

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RE: How do you define stalking? - 6/3/2006 9:36:10 AM   
moontearz


Posts: 11
Joined: 5/18/2006
Status: offline 		According to what i am accused of ,is flaming on the yahoo groups list which i was a part of.  Not sure what the switch is referring to about stalking exactly except that she took me off of her group list because of an incident with our ex sub and her and the switch breaking of protocol.  i had posted on another list asking some questions about betrayel of protocol and the issue is that this switch was on the list also.The switch  really became defensive even when i followed all the rules naming no names and according to all the others on the list i had not flamed anyone one and she was making more out of the situation than need be. She then called my Master/husband and told him what i had posted and he then banned me from the list because he was protecting me from her accusing me of slander and now stalking.  This person does not want me to have a voice on any list that she is on even if i am asking about what wrong she and my ex sub did about breaking protocol. She is covring up what she did and she will threaten me wih all sorts of things abviously to keep me from having a support system.  To me telling the truth is important and if that is what you say you stand for then your actions and words will stand for that too.  to answer yur question about what is stalking excatly?  Having a vioce for support in this, on appropriate group lists and forum whether or not the same person is on it or not or others who know you in the lifestyle and the other person your having a conflict with ,in her mind is stalking.  I have a right to a support system or don't i? I am doing everything in my powere to watch how i phrase my questions and concerns, i needed help wiht this very hurtful betrayel and to be acuused of being a stalker and through lgal threats from her is emotionally upsetting to say the least.  I did not interfer in her life it was the other way around and i called her and my sub on it it an appriate venue so i thought.  I have done no wrong but try to seek help, i'm really confused and very angry now. My Master and i because of this are no longer involved in our local lifestyle cummunity because he is protecting me from her and her continual threats of leagal actions against me if i say anything to about this situation . Even anything remotely considered inuendos to her is considered flaming and slanderish.  This whole thing did not need to get to this point. She put herself in this situation by breaking of protocol and betrayel on her part.  What do i do now?  moontearz

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RE: How do you define stalking? - 6/3/2006 9:47:19 AM   
Calandra


Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline 		moontearz,
 
Please forgive me for this, but       WHAT?????
 
I can see that you are hurting, and want/need advice and comfort, but I honestly cannot figure out exactly what your situation is and how it impacts this thread.
 
Now, "you" were accused of stalking, I got that much. You feel you were simply trying to resolve an issue, and now are off all the lists/groups in your area?
 
Is there a question in there somewhere? Maybe you were trying to make an observation?
 
I look forward to hearing your comments, but slow down and take a deep breath...

(in reply to moontearz)
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