quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

There's an interesting sidebar to the whole "low income submissive" thing, and that's about the subject of relocation. Quite a few times a woman has contacted me and asked me if I'm willing to relocate (quite often that's ALL they say, which goes back to my pet peeve that women want more than one word contacts from subs, yet it seems okay when I get those from women, but that's another story for another time).

Now, right at this moment, I make a very decent income. Granted, I'm not about to knock Bill Gates off the Forbes list by any stretch of the imagination, but I've hit a point where I don't have much fear of poverty these days. When women contact me about relocation, they usually know I'm doing okay financially, and somehow that has an expectation that when I move across the country or to wherever, suddenly that income moves with me. Unfortunately, that's probably not going to be the case, and it's probably the one reason I haven't moved out of this crappy area I live in (crappy for lack of bdsm interactivity or community). But I'm constantly asked if I'm willing to relocate, and when I respond that it would be possible if I was able to find employment in that area, the contact kind of goes dry, leaving me wondering if they're really all that serious when they contact me in the first place.

This whole money fascination with people in the scene (and I guess out of it as well) often turns me off of even looking for a partner. I hate the very concept of money itself, seeing it as a bartering necessity but not as a factor that makes up my self. This is why I rarely even answer a question of someone in the way they want when the first comment of small talk is "what do you do for a living?" My answers are usually "breathe" or "enjoy every moment I've got." People spend way too much time identifying themselves by their occupation and income level. This hatred of such distinctions is probably the reason I'll never find anyone. Every now and then someone tells me she feels this exact same way and then superficialities emerge, and it's like I'm alone again.

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

quote:

...Do you think that the financial expectations of male submissives is different than the financial expectations of a female submissive? And if you feel this is so, can you please explain why you think this way?

Yes, I do. The reason being is because they're male. Because of their sex and cultural sterotypes, he is supposed earn more then her. Thats just my view, of course.  ...

Respectfully, MrDiscipline, i am no rabid femi-nazi but the slogan "equal pay for equal work" still rings true to me.  pinkee 

quote:

ORIGINAL: iliv2servher
Even though we are moving toward equality of genders, I still believe that women look to men as being the predominant breadwinner in the financial arena.  Most men earn much more than women, so it is understood that their contribution to the finances be higher than that of the working female. 

quote:

  OTOH, I have noticed that when a dominant advertises for a live-in (male or female) they do expect the submssive or slave to have an outside job (or at least a sustainable income) so that they can contribute to the household expenses.

quote:

 In these days of weak economy, rising energy costs, and higher interest rates, some degree of financial (job) security is a major factor in choosing a mate, submissive or slave.  Most of us do not want the money card to enter the mix, so the decision to look for those who are more well-off may be more of of a practical choice than an emotional one. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: champagnewishes
I have financial obligations that i would not expect nor want someone else to assume responsibility for.  I would never assume that i would not contribute to the financial maitenance of a household.  Before i could ever committ to not working, i would have to be in a situation where i was clear of all debt as well as have saved enough living expenses to sustain me if things did not work out.  Submission is a part of my life...the other parts of my life require income that i have no trouble maintaining.

Yesssssssssssss!!!    What she said!!! 

quote:

ORIGINAL: ADomDoc
Personally, I don't CARE if a sub/slave works or not ... but there are several distinct advantages if she does:

1) she maintains her professional marketability ...
2) she can either contribute to the household &/or luxuries ...
3) I personally expect my sub/slave to maintain her own separate bank accounts.  It also gives the sub/slave 'her own' money ... so she doesn't feel trapped in a relationship due to financial dependence on the Dom....
ADomDoc 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee
Maybe somewhere there's a wealthy Man with the Great Character and other qualities i seek, but somehow i doubt it.  i met many millionaries (and billionaries) in my career, and found each and every one to be completely disreputable.

You really ought to know better than to say things like that Pink... or make such blanket statements.  You get yourself into more trouble that way.

Padriag 

quote:

…….. So again, its not the income that matters to me, but their habits and behavior... are the responisible, reliable and productive or are they irresponsible, undependable and lazy?  I will take very good care of my slave, but I will not provide a free ride.    - Padriag 

quote:

ORIGINAL: bignipples2share
I'd prefer someone who is financially secure in their own right. I have no desire to support someone, or be supported. If I make more than they do, my gifts to them may be bigger, or if they make more, their gifts may be bigger. He may have enough money to wisk me off to Europe for the weekend, while I can only wisk him to a great meal and theatre in the next county over, or visa versa. ...
~Big 

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxmstrchasxx
I have had subs that didn't work outside the home but they did work inside the home and that was fine with me and at the time I could afford to care for them financially.

When I became disabled my sub started to work outside the home and helps me financially which really I feel bad about I guess.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

I find the talk about low/high income dom or sub to be amusing. It defines a bigger problem regardless of what side of the economic scale you find yourself. It points to prejudice and/or envy regardless of any biblically provided rationalization. Because the bottom line is this; you can't be sub, dom, slave, master without a counterpart. It requires some form of relationship. The economics of the individuals become the combined economics of the relationship. Concern about who brings what to the table only serves as a distraction. Economic reality is reality, it needs to be addressed, but only pragmatically as to how it relates to the relationship goals. Personal goals need to be considered when committing to the relationship. Accountability and responsibility need to be openly addressed. Consideration for all economic concerns is as critical as physical limits. But once there is a relationship the income/assets don't have an individual in possession.

beth has everything I have, and I have everything of hers. It matters not who brought what to the table. We are living in the manner we chose because WE can. Not because I can or SHE can. Together we live this way.

You need not point out to either of us the 'fact' that the majority of relationship end in failure. The 'pre-nup' or accounting for a non-working sub/slave in the event of the relationship failing may be logical and pragmatic, but it is also self-fulfilling prophecy. We chose to plan for success, but maybe not for the reason you would think. We both came from pasts where people we trusted enough to marry broke that trust. Coincidently, we both gave them everything gained in that relationship just to be rid of them. They ended up being much more miserable with the material possessions then either of us did starting all over from scratch. It comes down to what's important to you, and what level or priority you assign your relationship versus your personal economics.

If you bring or require a personal financial statement when you meet someone; you've set your priority. I guess if you both have that priority you've found your relationship mate. Better to honestly disclose goals, have a realistic plan in mind to achieve them, and then work together to do so.

A relationship has two "I's" only as a word. To work it combines the two, neither one as a capital, whether referring to the case of the letter or fiscal 'capital'.

quote:

ORIGINAL: badpaliden

Thunderroad I comend you and in my own limited way attemp to do the same for those in less well off  stage of their lifes, when they are under my roof. Some might / have seen it as being a "Daddy  Dom" but I feel its the proper thing   to attemp  to do with some one who is asking for your control. To leave them better when/if  they move on.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

I find the talk about low/high income dom or sub to be amusing. It defines a bigger problem regardless of what side of the economic scale you find yourself. It points to prejudice and/or envy regardless of any biblically provided rationalization. Because the bottom line is this; you can't be sub, dom, slave, master without a counterpart. It requires some form of relationship. The economics of the individuals become the combined economics of the relationship. Concern about who brings what to the table only serves as a distraction. Economic reality is reality, it needs to be addressed, but only pragmatically as to how it relates to the relationship goals. Personal goals need to be considered when committing to the relationship. Accountability and responsibility need to be openly addressed. Consideration for all economic concerns is as critical as physical limits. But once there is a relationship the income/assets don't have an individual in possession.

beth has everything I have, and I have everything of hers. It matters not who brought what to the table. We are living in the manner we chose because WE can. Not because I can or SHE can. Together we live this way.

You need not point out to either of us the 'fact' that the majority of relationship end in failure. The 'pre-nup' or accounting for a non-working sub/slave in the event of the relationship failing may be logical and pragmatic, but it is also self-fulfilling prophecy. We chose to plan for success, but maybe not for the reason you would think. We both came from pasts where people we trusted enough to marry broke that trust. Coincidently, we both gave them everything gained in that relationship just to be rid of them. They ended up being much more miserable with the material possessions then either of us did starting all over from scratch. It comes down to what's important to you, and what level or priority you assign your relationship versus your personal economics.

If you bring or require a personal financial statement when you meet someone; you've set your priority. I guess if you both have that priority you've found your relationship mate. Better to honestly disclose goals, have a realistic plan in mind to achieve them, and then work together to do so.

A relationship has two "I's" only as a word. To work it combines the two, neither one as a capital, whether referring to the case of the letter or fiscal 'capital'.

quote:

ORIGINAL: badpaliden
But there is a side of this no one seems to have addressed. The Power of the Dom who "takes care of " a sub... The dynamics are changed when your very next meal as well as your place to sleep is coming from some one elses  hand. And  you are going to find your self  hopeing you've kept them happy. I'm NOT saying this a bad nor good thing. It just is.
I'd like to see how others see this aspect of the money  facet in relationships...