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More late night pondering's..... - 3/21/2012 6:40:31 PM   
AlwaysLisa


Posts: 1088
Joined: 10/6/2006
From: Washington State
Status: offline 		I'm probably going to find myself regretting this...but here goes.

In the spirit of all things BDSM, I have been reading these forums for awhile now, and recently had a bit of a thought.  Just a bit of one.  

Is it just me, or is it generally felt that those who list themselves "submissive", are the first to spring into action about someone else's post, correcting them as needed, often in an aggressive manner? 

Hear me out, please.  I was told once that often, people will assume roles that are the total opposite of their personality.  ie: Aggressive stock broker will play submissive in a scene, or a timid, somewhat quiet person will don thigh high boots and wield a whip in the most ferocious style!

Is that why so often the submissive profiles will lash out at the words on screen, because it's their true nature to be assertive and forceful?    

Just some thoughts rattling around on another wet, dreary night.  

"Contrariwise, if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't.  (Tweedle Dum/Tweedle Dee, Alice in Wonderland.)


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Just an old flower child, trying to survive in today's chaos and confusion.
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RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/21/2012 6:43:17 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		subs respond first because very few Doms actually post on here. There's simply more females on here.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to AlwaysLisa)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/21/2012 6:44:36 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		And some of us females are doms, too!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/21/2012 6:57:41 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline 		And "submissive" to your own dom/master doesn't mean submissive or shy or afraid to speak your mind to/with anyone else in the world. One has zero to do with the other.......luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to AlwaysLisa)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/21/2012 7:06:12 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Just because I'm submissive to one doesn't mean I'm submissive to all.



_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/21/2012 7:42:55 PM   
AngelSighs


Posts: 24
Joined: 9/4/2011
Status: offline 		Maybe it has a bit to do with being a bit hormonal (please don't take off my head, I'm female), wanting to share, wanting to be helpful where we all can, and reaching out to someone new. Sometimes "tone" in e-mail is difficult to convey. Things have a way of starting off as something they might not be, especially if you've had a difficult day and are trying to de-stress.

What I know is that we all see the world differently. It's based on our general outlook, life experiences, and what we believe.

I don't always agree with those that post. But I will defend their right to post it to my last breath.....even those that make me want to hurl.

_____________________________

Two things in Life that people are LEAST EDUCATED about.........Money and Sex.

Money stupid keeps you BROKE.

Sex stupid will get you DEAD.
----- ME

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/21/2012 8:03:34 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		As others have noted, there is not necessarily a correlation between someone's chosen role inside a relationship and the demeanour they take with the rest of the world. I'm not too sure about ascribing "true natures" to people though. I'm sure we all have one. And I'm also sure that each one of them is a bit more complicated than can be simply described here... or anywhere else LOL.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to AlwaysLisa)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/21/2012 8:12:53 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AlwaysLisa

I'm probably going to find myself regretting this...but here goes.

In the spirit of all things BDSM, I have been reading these forums for awhile now, and recently had a bit of a thought.  Just a bit of one.  

Is it just me, or is it generally felt that those who list themselves "submissive", are the first to spring into action about someone else's post, correcting them as needed, often in an aggressive manner? 

Hear me out, please.  I was told once that often, people will assume roles that are the total opposite of their personality.  ie: Aggressive stock broker will play submissive in a scene, or a timid, somewhat quiet person will don thigh high boots and wield a whip in the most ferocious style!

Is that why so often the submissive profiles will lash out at the words on screen, because it's their true nature to be assertive and forceful?    

Just some thoughts rattling around on another wet, dreary night.  

"Contrariwise, if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't.  (Tweedle Dum/Tweedle Dee, Alice in Wonderland.)


I think, that when a person finds a post on the boards that 'sparks and resonates' within them, that yes, they do become a bit more 'forceful' in their response than they might be otherwise. I do not, however, think that it has anything to do with their orientation.



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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to AlwaysLisa)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/21/2012 8:35:02 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

I think, that when a person finds a post on the boards that 'sparks and resonates' within them, that yes, they do
become a bit more 'forceful' in their response than they might be otherwise. I do not, however, think that it has
anything to do with their orientation.


I agree with this, and recently experienced it first hand. I made a comment on a thread yesterday,
and soon afterwards, I debated whether or not I should edit it, because it seemed harsh once I read it.
I don't think I felt bad for what I wrote because I'm submissive, but because I try my best not to be
harmful with my words. Unless only submissive people are concerned with how their words affect others?

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/21/2012 8:35:08 PM   
MissImmortalPain


Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		I think a lot of it has to do with it being a forum and some of it has to do with being female(most of them anyway) Not to be insulting or anything but many people think putting thier opinion on the net means they are right about whatever the topic was. I also think that many women still believe that their opinions will be ignored just because they are female and this leads them to want to shout that they are right. It happens a lot with younger people too. They feel they have to scream to get their voice heard. Most people out grow it, some never do. I don't think it has anything to do with if someone is submissive or dominant.

< Message edited by MissImmortalPain -- 3/21/2012 8:37:27 PM >

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

(in reply to AlwaysLisa)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/21/2012 8:45:38 PM   
TheDarkSaint


Posts: 20
Joined: 1/20/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

subs respond first because very few Doms actually post on here. There's simply more females on here.


A VERY good point.

I've been here for quite awhile now and post very seldom unless I feel I have something to contribute.

I don't believe in the opposite role theory you are proposing... YES. there is a certain amount of that out there. Curiosity, thrill seeking and a desire to do what you don't do every day will always be a portion of the people here.

But don't forget that you're profile says that you are a submissive. Something that other subs might feel that they need to inform you what a true sub should be.

Were I to post here more often. I have no doubt that I'd have numerous "Masters" eager to tell me I wasn't doing it right.

There are those I have come to respect here . And all the others..

Only you and/or your Master should decide who are the people who's opinion should carry any weight.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/21/2012 8:56:13 PM   
Endivius


Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheDarkSaint

A VERY good point.

I've been here for quite awhile now and post very seldom unless I feel I have something to contribute.

I don't believe in the opposite role theory you are proposing... YES. there is a certain amount of that out there. Curiosity, thrill seeking and a desire to do what you don't do every day will always be a portion of the people here.

Were I to post here more often. I have no doubt that I'd have numerous "Masters" eager to tell me I wasn't doing it right.

Only you and/or your Master should decide who are the people who's opinion should carry any weight.



This, unless I feel enticed to say something humorous.

_____________________________

Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

(in reply to TheDarkSaint)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/21/2012 9:00:31 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		I think some people automatically feel that if the person is submissive, they act or must act that way over all. This, as stated above, just isn't how things are. They are submissive to a their dominant. And I have learned, especially here, that if there is something out of place or of that nature; people on this side, definitely speak up.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to Endivius)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/21/2012 9:24:14 PM   
JanahX


Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline 		Unfortunately CM has limited titles to pick from. I am not a submissive - but consider myself a bottom. - outside the bedroom, its business as usual. Submissive is the closest title to that I could choose from here.

Also its fair to say that what you consider a nice perfectly wrapped up boxed personality of a submissive is only what you think that is. What it is to the next person, is most likely a whole 'nuther ball of yarn.

< Message edited by JanahX -- 3/21/2012 9:25:46 PM >

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The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.


(in reply to AlwaysLisa)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/21/2012 9:32:56 PM   
Aynne88


Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

And "submissive" to your own dom/master doesn't mean submissive or shy or afraid to speak your mind to/with anyone else in the world. One has zero to do with the other.......luci


Exactly!! I am a dominant woman, I prefer a more dominant man to submit to, but I am not submissive at all to anyone, barely even to him sometimes.

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)



(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/22/2012 12:46:18 AM   
Whenready


Posts: 319
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline 		Tongue a little in cheek here....because these are gross oversimplifications:

There are more women here - and women are "chattier". I have the feeling that more subs post more often than doms but there are a number of regular dom posters. Also, sometimes, I think of something to say, and on reading the thread, feel that either it's already been said, or that actually, nothing needds saying. Tongue further in cheek here - I suspect that while I might not then post, others might post anyway, and then add a bit.

(in reply to Aynne88)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/22/2012 2:03:44 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Have no regrets, Lisa.  I always enjoy your topics. 

No, it's not most led by submissives.  Hell, I just told another D type to get her ass out of My face and would she like to continue slamming our dicks on the table to see who's is bigger.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Whenready)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/22/2012 2:35:11 AM   
Skyy


Posts: 23
Joined: 4/28/2007
Status: offline 		I'm way dominant in everyday life.
I'm just weird in the bedroom.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/22/2012 3:34:15 AM   
VanessaChaland


Posts: 362
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline 		Passive aggressive attitudes seem to always be in fashion.
Then there are also the self appointed know-it-alls, who know little but make up for it in volume.

_____________________________

If you want to know more about me and my interests, Google my name.

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/22/2012 5:28:56 AM   
VideoAdminGamma


Posts: 2233
Status: offline 		For ALL of those that need a reminder, this is the topic.

Thank you for being a part of CollarMe,
VideoAdminGamma


quote:

ORIGINAL: AlwaysLisa

I'm probably going to find myself regretting this...but here goes.

In the spirit of all things BDSM, I have been reading these forums for awhile now, and recently had a bit of a thought.  Just a bit of one.  

Is it just me, or is it generally felt that those who list themselves "submissive", are the first to spring into action about someone else's post, correcting them as needed, often in an aggressive manner? 

Hear me out, please.  I was told once that often, people will assume roles that are the total opposite of their personality.  ie: Aggressive stock broker will play submissive in a scene, or a timid, somewhat quiet person will don thigh high boots and wield a whip in the most ferocious style!

Is that why so often the submissive profiles will lash out at the words on screen, because it's their true nature to be assertive and forceful?    

Just some thoughts rattling around on another wet, dreary night.  

"Contrariwise, if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't.  (Tweedle Dum/Tweedle Dee, Alice in Wonderland.)




_____________________________

"The administration has the authority to handle situations in whatever manner they feel to be in the best interests of the forum, at that moment, in response to that event. "

http://www.collarchat.com/m_72/tm.htm

(in reply to AlwaysLisa)
Profile   Post #: 20
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