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How long do you wait? - 4/12/2012 7:34:04 AM   
pghays04


Posts: 86
Joined: 1/16/2012
Status: offline 		How long do you wait after an initial contact message to a sub shows read in your outbox before you consider silence to be your answer and move on? I believe this sub is not a flake, fake, etc. And I know she owes me nothing. Just wondering what is a reasonable amount of time.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How long do you wait? - 4/12/2012 7:41:41 AM   
SinFix


Posts: 866
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		The second they don't send a message back.... If it shows read and she didn't respond back, it most likely means she has no interest.

(in reply to pghays04)
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RE: How long do you wait? - 4/12/2012 7:42:59 AM   
pghays04


Posts: 86
Joined: 1/16/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SinFix

The second they don't send a message back.... If it shows read and she didn't respond back, it most likely means she has no interest.

So, not even one day?

(in reply to SinFix)
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RE: How long do you wait? - 4/12/2012 7:43:27 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pghays04

How long do you wait after an initial contact message to a sub shows read in your outbox before you consider silence to be your answer and move on? I believe this sub is not a flake, fake, etc. And I know she owes me nothing. Just wondering what is a reasonable amount of time.

Are you talking about an unsolicited first email, or were you corresponding a bit already?

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to pghays04)
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RE: How long do you wait? - 4/12/2012 7:44:20 AM   
pghays04


Posts: 86
Joined: 1/16/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1


quote:

ORIGINAL: pghays04

How long do you wait after an initial contact message to a sub shows read in your outbox before you consider silence to be your answer and move on? I believe this sub is not a flake, fake, etc. And I know she owes me nothing. Just wondering what is a reasonable amount of time.

Are you talking about an unsolicited first email, or were you corresponding a bit already?

Unsolicited initial contact.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How long do you wait? - 4/12/2012 7:49:24 AM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		It's interesting that you have a picture of yourself on a motorcycle, because I imagine you
have pulled over to park it because you've found a profile that interests you.

If I found a message from someone that interested me, I would answer it when I read it, give or take an hour.
Has she been back online since you wrote her, and is there evidence that she has read your message yet?


_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to pghays04)
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RE: How long do you wait? - 4/12/2012 7:52:00 AM   
pghays04


Posts: 86
Joined: 1/16/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

It's interesting that you have a picture of yourself on a motorcycle, because I imagine you
have pulled over to park it because you've found a profile that interests you.

If I found a message from someone that interested me, I would answer it when I read it, give or take an hour.
Has she been back online since you wrote her, and is there evidence that she has read your message yet?


quote:

Has she been back online since you wrote her, and is there evidence that she has read your message yet?
My outbox shows it as read and she has been online every day since.

(in reply to poise)
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RE: How long do you wait? - 4/12/2012 7:55:04 AM   
pghays04


Posts: 86
Joined: 1/16/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

It's interesting that you have a picture of yourself on a motorcycle, because I imagine you
have pulled over to park it because you've found a profile that interests you.

If I found a message from someone that interested me, I would answer it when I read it, give or take an hour.
Has she been back online since you wrote her, and is there evidence that she has read your message yet?


P.S. My cousin took the picture while we were at a red light.

(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How long do you wait? - 4/12/2012 7:59:10 AM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		So it's been a few days since you wrote? Yuck. I was rooting for you on this one, darn it!
I would say fill up your tank and continue on. There are more non flakey submissives out there.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to pghays04)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How long do you wait? - 4/12/2012 7:59:16 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pghays04
How long do you wait after an initial contact message to a sub shows read in your outbox before you consider silence to be your answer and move on?

This might sound unhelpful, or hippy-dippy zen, but if you can achieve the mindset that you don't care whether the woman writes back, she will be much more likely to respond to your email.

On CM, a woman's inbox is filled with desperate horndoggery. Even the emails from nice guys tend to be emails that say, "I haven't gotten laid in a whiiiiiile." If your tone of voice, and mind, are, "You seem like someone I'd like to get to know better," but is totally non-desperate, you could take her or leave her if push came to shove, she will think it is safer to respond to you.

So my answer to your question is exactly what SinFix said: the minute you hit send, you don't care whether she responds.

Incidentally, I've had women respond weeks later, saying things like, "I was overwhelmed," or, "I'm so sorry I didn't see your message." Rare, but it does happen.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to pghays04)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How long do you wait? - 4/12/2012 8:05:18 AM   
pghays04


Posts: 86
Joined: 1/16/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1


quote:

ORIGINAL: pghays04
How long do you wait after an initial contact message to a sub shows read in your outbox before you consider silence to be your answer and move on?

This might sound unhelpful, or hippy-dippy zen, but if you can achieve the mindset that you don't care whether the woman writes back, she will be much more likely to respond to your email.

On CM, a woman's inbox is filled with desperate horndoggery. Even the emails from nice guys tend to be emails that say, "I haven't gotten laid in a whiiiiiile." If your tone of voice, and mind, are, "You seem like someone I'd like to get to know better," but is totally non-desperate, you could take her or leave her if push came to shove, she will think it is safer to respond to you.

So my answer to your question is exactly what SinFix said: the minute you hit send, you don't care whether she responds.

Incidentally, I've had women respond weeks later, saying things like, "I was overwhelmed," or, "I'm so sorry I didn't see your message." Rare, but it does happen.

Seems kinda cold, but I guess you're right. I just see so many profiles that are really way out there, and hers was so nice.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How long do you wait? - 4/12/2012 8:09:16 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pghays04

Seems kinda cold,

You want cold? A standard scammer tactic is to copypaste Match.com profile text into scammer profiles. This really nailed me when I was first on the site, because some of the women who seemed the most vanilla-interesting were in fact the most fake.

Don't sink any emotion into a good profile. Don't start caring, at all, until you have a good conversation.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to pghays04)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How long do you wait? - 4/12/2012 8:11:40 AM   
pghays04


Posts: 86
Joined: 1/16/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1


quote:

ORIGINAL: pghays04

Seems kinda cold,

You want cold? A standard scammer tactic is to copypaste Match.com profile text into scammer profiles. This really nailed me when I was first on the site, because some of the women who seemed the most vanilla-interesting were in fact the most fake.

Don't sink any emotion into a good profile. Don't start caring, at all, until you have a good conversation.

Yeah, I know, but she posts on the forums a lot so I figured she was not one of the bad guys.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How long do you wait? - 4/12/2012 8:19:12 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pghays04

Yeah, I know, but she posts on the forums a lot so I figured she was not one of the bad guys.

Hm. Over the years, I have cyberflirted with, met and dated some of the female posters here. I have never once talked on the boards about who they were, though in at least one case it was kind of an open secret. Still, I think you're treading awfully close to Message Board Drama if you post a thread asking about advice about approaching a woman, when there is a good chance that woman is going to read the thread. It's not something I would do, if that matters to you.

In any case, best of luck to you in the future. You seem like a decent guy.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to pghays04)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How long do you wait? - 4/12/2012 8:20:24 AM   
SinFix


Posts: 866
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		Just because she didn't respond does not make her a bad guy... She may not have wished to engage in a conversation with you for whatever reason.. I'm sure your a nice guy but most likely just not what she is looking for

(in reply to pghays04)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How long do you wait? - 4/12/2012 8:22:19 AM   
pghays04


Posts: 86
Joined: 1/16/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1


quote:

ORIGINAL: pghays04

Yeah, I know, but she posts on the forums a lot so I figured she was not one of the bad guys.

Hm. Over the years, I have cyberflirted with, met and dated some of the female posters here. I have never once talked on the boards about who they were, though in at least one case it was kind of an open secret. Still, I think you're treading awfully close to Message Board Drama if you post a thread asking about advice about approaching a woman, when there is a good chance that woman is going to read the thread. It's not something I would do, if that matters to you.

In any case, best of luck to you in the future. You seem like a decent guy.

Hadn't thought about it like that. I'm glad I didn't mention her name. Don't think I'll post like that again.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How long do you wait? - 4/12/2012 8:35:49 AM   
pghays04


Posts: 86
Joined: 1/16/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SinFix

Just because she didn't respond does not make her a bad guy... She may not have wished to engage in a conversation with you for whatever reason.. I'm sure your a nice guy but most likely just not what she is looking for

No I don't think she is one of the bad guys. I was responding to RedMagic1 to say just the opposite.

(in reply to SinFix)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How long do you wait? - 4/12/2012 8:44:05 AM   
SinFix


Posts: 866
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		Sorry about that, didn't quite catch it... that'll learn me for trying to do several things at once...

(in reply to pghays04)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How long do you wait? - 4/12/2012 8:57:18 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1


quote:

ORIGINAL: pghays04

Seems kinda cold,

You want cold? A standard scammer tactic is to copypaste Match.com profile text into scammer profiles. This really nailed me when I was first on the site, because some of the women who seemed the most vanilla-interesting were in fact the most fake.

Don't sink any emotion into a good profile. Don't start caring, at all, until you have a good conversation.


This.

Send it and forget it. If something comes back to you, consider it a pleasant surprise.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How long do you wait? - 4/12/2012 8:59:03 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		You're overinvested. You sent a dozen pixels on a screen and you're imagining a relationship with her. That comes across as desperate and creepy, both in real life and online.

If for whatever reason you feel an urge to send a quick email and you've perused her profile and know you don't kick off any red flags, then there should be no investment in receiving a response.

Women can get tons of mail. She may be the type to think about it before responding. She may now be talking to someone else. Let it go.

If she answers in a couple of weeks, great. If not, no harm done. Don't invest more of your time and thoughts on someone you don't know.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to SinFix)
Profile   Post #: 20
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