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How old is too old - 4/12/2012 10:45:00 AM   
scoot60


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Let's face it age catches up with us all. I'm 63 been in the lifestye for many years. I know most ladies like the younger but and that is understandable. Now I'm not talking about someone to just play with but a ltr relationship. Can aways find play partners at the clubs but a ltr is a different story
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RE: How old is too old - 4/12/2012 10:50:34 AM   
Lockit


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How is it that you came to believe that most like someone younger?

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RE: How old is too old - 4/12/2012 10:54:44 AM   
JanahX


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Why do you think that most ladies like younger men? Most younger men Ive run across are as clueless as the day is long. Not all - but most.

I think it has more to do with "what do you have to offer" and what makes people attracted to you - whats your MOJO? Hell - Pablo Picasso had woman after woman throwing themselves at him until the day he died - he was 92.

He was a great man, and women recognized it. Just one example.

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RE: How old is too old - 4/12/2012 11:05:02 AM   
SadisticMs2


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I think an LTR is a real possibility....if you're being realistic.

If you're chasing after women 20, 30 years younger than you.....probably not.

If you're looking for someone of comparable age and life experience - then that's a realistic want. I know several Dommes in their 50s who wish there were more relationship-minded men out there who weren't just looking for kink fantasy but the "whole package".

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RE: How old is too old - 4/12/2012 11:12:04 AM   
Fightdirecto


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

How is it that you came to believe that most like someone younger?

I can't speak for the OP - but I have found, from my own experience, that it is difficult to get past the agism in both the vanilla as well as the kinky Internet world.

I has been in a D/s LTR of over 15 years until losing her to breast cancer. I was 54 years old when I lost her 6 years ago, and after a period of mourning, I began looking again on what was then for me the new method of Internet personals. What did I encounter? Female submissives my age or older who responded to my initial e-mails with comments like: "You're TOO OLD for me", "ALL men over 50 are used up, worn-out things and I'm not interested", etc.

With a basically faceless medium such as the Internet, it is much easier to stereotype people based on age (or, for that matter, race, religion, etc.) and avoid getting to learn much about a person.

It wasn't until I was introduced in person to a submissive by mutual friends that I was successful - because she got to see me as a real person and not an Internet profile.

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RE: How old is too old - 4/12/2012 11:28:10 AM   
Lockit


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Fightdirecto

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

How is it that you came to believe that most like someone younger?

I can't speak for the OP - but I have found, from my own experience, that it is difficult to get past the agism in both the vanilla as well as the kinky Internet world.

I has been in a D/s LTR of over 15 years until losing her to breast cancer. I was 54 years old when I lost her 6 years ago, and after a period of mourning, I began looking again on what was then for me the new method of Internet personals. What did I encounter? Female submissives my age or older who responded to my initial e-mails with comments like: "You're TOO OLD for me", "ALL men over 50 are used up, worn-out things and I'm not interested", etc.

With a basically faceless medium such as the Internet, it is much easier to stereotype people based on age (or, for that matter, race, religion, etc.) and avoid getting to learn much about a person.

It wasn't until I was introduced in person to a submissive by mutual friends that I was successful - because she got to see me as a real person and not an Internet profile.


Anyone of your own age saying that was a fool and a hypocrite, as well as a liar. Ignore... move on. Decent women of some age are out there. We get passed by because we are not the hot bodies and then some young dude decided we ought to be hungry for him and feel thankful he wanted our older bodies and attentions. lol Again... fools.

I am older... I am not a hard body and I am not healthy. I have a lifetime dependent. I get rejected, passed up and treated to all sorts of comments of rejection, ageism and rudeness. However, I don't allow it to touch me. I am proud of my life battle scars and damn it... if I can meet a decent man that can put up with my old ass and attitude... all good, even if he is used up and battered.

You older men, just as us older women... have something to offer and we shouldn't forget it!

Now... if you all are looking for younger women... fuck you anyway! hehehe Good luck...

< Message edited by Lockit -- 4/12/2012 11:29:19 AM >


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RE: How old is too old - 4/12/2012 12:20:05 PM   
Lockit


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arienos

quote:

You older men, just as us older women... have something to offer and we shouldn't forget it!


Locket:
Now hear this, if a woman can hang on to her walker with one hand, fire up a joint and accurately control the impact of a single tale with the other…she most likely can fumble through the keys on a keyboard, pound down inexpensive shots and beers and profess to be all knowing in every facet of the gem stone commonly called D/s.


Awww... I guess you are still bent that I blocked you.


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RE: How old is too old - 4/12/2012 12:30:04 PM   
DarkSteven


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SadisticMs2

If you're chasing after women 20, 30 years younger than you.....probably not.



Damn young bitches run so fast they can't be caught.


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RE: How old is too old - 4/12/2012 12:30:54 PM   
ProlificNeeds


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I've always ended up with older men, I seek neither younger or older. Logically I tell myself to find someone my general age to give us the best chance of spending many years together, but in the end it comes down to simple attraction and compatibility, regardless of age.

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RE: How old is too old - 4/12/2012 12:31:09 PM   
scoot60


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Hey thanks for all insights. First off I sure wouldn't want a young woman, my yongest daugter is thirty and I proably couldn't keep up with the younger crowd. What's the song say, I'm as good once as have ever been but that's about it. For me a misstress 55-65 would probably be a good fit.



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RE: How old is too old - 4/12/2012 12:35:28 PM   
LadyPact


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Wow.  Look at that.  A topic.

This is just personal opinion, but I think a method such as using the net for finding a long term relationship could make it a bit harder in certain age groups.  The saying goes that age is just a number, but when that number is a focal stat on a profile, it may not be helping.  By the way, the same thing happens in reverse for guys on the younger end of the scale.  We have a lot of threads around here because younger males don't get taken seriously because they are often told that they aren't old enough.


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RE: How old is too old - 4/12/2012 1:09:23 PM   
scoot60


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Using my age in an introduction probably isn't a good idea. Yes age is just a number but it can be a issue with many. For me age is an issue because I'm more comfortable with people close to my on age.

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RE: How old is too old - 4/12/2012 1:46:34 PM   
fucktoyprincess


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Age is just a number. The problem, as others have identified, is that on the Internet, when people can't actually see you, or see how you interact, in a real life setting, there is heavy reliance on the age as number as a shorthand for how healthy, fit, fun, etc. someone might be.

I do find it interesting to see this from a man's perspective, though, because, in my experience, and in the experience of most of my female friends (who range in age from literally 25 to 85), it is the men who are much much more focused on wanting a young woman to be with. I literally have no male friends who complain they can't find women their own age. I'm not disputing your own experience - obviously what you've experienced is what you've experienced, but it doesn't match any kind of reality that I know, where women struggle to find men who are even close to their age, because most men close to their age want a woman who is much younger. Most 40-something year old men, if they were never married, or have no children, are usually dating women in the 25-35 yr range, and men older than that (50s, 60s) usually seek out women at least a decade if not two decades younger. This is the reality of what I see around me. So when a woman of 40 tells a man who is 60 that he is "too old", should a man feel offended simply because the 40 year old would prefer to be with a man in his 40s? All I can say is I personally know of no 50 or 60 year old women (NOT one) who are chasing after men in their 30s (yet, the reverse is almost universally true). My 30-something year old friends routinely get mail from men who are in their 50s and 60s.

I can't help but think that when you say most women like the "younger" that what you actually mean is that most younger women prefer men closer to their own age, i.e., younger than you. What is aggravating to most women is that most men, of almost whatever age, seem to prefer women who are younger.

Throughout my life, I have been a better match with men who are close to my age. Not significantly younger, but not significantly older either. It seems to me that most of society operates, however, with the understanding that it is perfectly fine for a much older man to be with a much younger woman. So much so, that when a woman 40 or older asks to be with someone closer to their own age, both men and women feel entitled to tell her she is being picky. I'm not sure that is fair. I think everyone would be better off seeking out people closer to their own age.

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RE: How old is too old - 4/12/2012 2:15:30 PM   
kitkat105


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Well since you said you have no problem finding play partners.. that could be used like BDSM dating. Use opportunities to play to get to know new submissives and see where it leads.
Ultimately, age is only a number and if someone likes you genuinely, age rarely has much to do with it.

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RE: How old is too old - 4/12/2012 2:47:49 PM   
scoot60


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I do need to clarify something. My relationship lasted just over thirty years, she was my wife and mistress. He pasted away so I'm just now back into the dating scene I guess you could say starting over. Like I said I do appreciate all the feedback. There is so much more to a relationship than play time or just doing what you are told.

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RE: How old is too old - 4/12/2012 2:49:44 PM   
scoot60


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Wow should have proof read that one, she not he.

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RE: How old is too old - 4/12/2012 3:47:58 PM   
peppermint


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Let me give you some hope here.  Gary and I met when he was 64 and I was 54.  At that time I felt anyone over 60 was too old.  If he had written me via the internet I probably would have written him a polite thanks but no thanks note.  However, we met face to face at a kink event.  He was polite.  He was fun with a great sense of humor.  He rather wowed me with his personality.  We did some playing in the dungeon and it was good.  When I left that event I figured we'd never see each other again as we lived 550 miles apart. 

He wanted to continue the relationship.  He called.  He emailed.  We chatted via Yahoo IM.  Three months later he drove over to visit me.  I took some vacation time to see how living in a motor home would be.  He met my kids.  I met some of his kids.  I met with his transplant doctors.  Then he headed south in his motor home for the winter.  He called.  He emailed.  He finally asked me to join him.  I wasn't so sure about getting involved with a man with health issues who was 10 years older than I.  I had dealt with health issues for my husband's last 2 years and had just had a friend have some awful things happen health wise.  I wasn't sure I was willing to face those issues again.  I finally decided to give it a chance.  I took a leave of absense from work so I could return if it didn't work out.  I closed up my house for the winter.  I bought a one way airplane ticket heading south. 

That was over 6 years ago.  They have been the happiest 6 years of my life.  Yes, health problems sometimes interfer with other things, but all in all it's been a great journey together.  Most of my 60+ aged kinky friends both male and female have found partners, but not all.  Heck, even the young ones don't always find a great partner so not being paired is no big thing.  You are only too old when you are unable and unwilling to use every means you have to find that partner. 

Edited to add...Sorry this ended up so long. 

< Message edited by peppermint -- 4/12/2012 3:48:36 PM >


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RE: How old is too old - 4/12/2012 4:55:10 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: scoot60

Let's face it age catches up with us all. I'm 63 been in the lifestye for many years. I know most ladies like the younger but and that is understandable. Now I'm not talking about someone to just play with but a ltr relationship. Can aways find play partners at the clubs but a ltr is a different story

I'm 54 now and looking for someone between the ages of roughly 40 and mid-60s, and I'm willing to go a little further in the upper direction. Not so much younger though, cause my kids are 31 and 33. I'd much rather meet someone roughly my own age, I have more in common with them. Keep your chin up and your eyes and ears open. We are out there.

NBMG

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RE: How old is too old - 4/13/2012 6:05:42 AM   
Fightdirecto


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quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint
...Gary and I met when he was 64 and I was 54.  At that time I felt anyone over 60 was too old.  If he had written me via the internet I probably would have written him a polite thanks but no thanks note. However, we met face to face at a kink event....

First, congratulations on finding Gary. May you both have many more great years together.

Second, thanks for confirming what I had written:

quote:

With a basically faceless medium such as the Internet, it is much easier to stereotype people based on age (or, for that matter, race, religion, etc.) and avoid getting to learn much about a person.

It wasn't until I was introduced in person to a submissive by mutual friends that I was successful - because she got to see me as a real person and not an Internet profile.


BTW: I guess some might accuse me of chasing younger women - my girl is 18 months younger than I.

_____________________________

"I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.””
- Ellie Wiesel

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RE: How old is too old - 4/13/2012 6:09:54 AM   
OttersSwim


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Fightdirecto

BTW: I guess some might accuse me of chasing younger women - my girl is 18 months younger than I.


Cradlerobber



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