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RE: How old is too old - 5/22/2012 12:19:27 PM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline 		Age is but a number....that being said I do look relistically at it, sometimes -L-

Im at and age where maybe settling for a butler and chauffeur sounds ok...

For someone hot...what a j o b...

She can be ANY age for this -L-

(in reply to scoot60)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: How old is too old - 5/26/2012 5:02:51 PM   
addicted2it


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: California
Status: offline 		I think you can find someone who is willing to accept you at your age. It just might take you a little bit longer. And it really depends upon what you are looking for and what is realistic at your age.

_____________________________

"What I lack in wisdom and intelligence, I more than make up or with age."

(in reply to scoot60)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: How old is too old - 5/26/2012 7:02:15 PM   
Delilya


Posts: 4108
Joined: 2/2/2011
Status: offline 		My mentor is 71. He has the staying power and stamina of someone much, much younger. All depends on the dude.

_____________________________

“Love me without fear, trust me without questioning, need me without demanding, want me without restrictions, accept me without changes, desire me without inhibitions"-Dick Sutphen

(in reply to addicted2it)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: How old is too old - 5/29/2012 3:57:05 AM   
PiratesAhoy


Posts: 19
Joined: 3/24/2012
Status: offline 		I'd like to say that age is only a number. But that's not very realistic.

I've broadened my horizons (in according to relationship) from 18 to 35. 35 being something I think my family will accept without it becoming too much.

This will change with the times, but as of now I'm content with these numbers.

(in reply to scoot60)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: How old is too old - 5/29/2012 7:18:57 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I find it interesting that people keep saying age is just a number. I hear that on a daily basis from the younger men who constantly write me and I tell them that although I find younger men attractive and have dated them, at this point in my life, I am seeking someone who "gets" where I am in my life, and that would not be a younger man.

It seems to really upset these guys, that I am not jumping up to meet them. I find that with many younger men there is a mystique about older women, that we know what we are doing sexually (which is true, but we are more than that), and they want to fulfill their Mrs. Robinson fantasy, without a thought that we may have been there, done that and now want the more settled age appropriate person.

I wish I had as many age appropriate men write me as I do younger men.

I do understand, however, that ageism exists here, as well as everywhere else in the world, especially in the workplace.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 5/29/2012 7:20:30 AM >

(in reply to PiratesAhoy)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: How old is too old - 5/29/2012 8:41:30 AM   
experiment2


Posts: 208
Joined: 11/7/2007
Status: offline 		it is unfortunate that most equate age to appeal and ability. each person should be judged on an individual basis, but it is not reality. i could easily pass for 10 years younger than my age. while i try to stay fit it is also a product of genes. i sill have dark hair and am in my mid 60's.

personally, i find most young women more concerned about age than older ones who have accepted the fact that we all age. to me an older women has much more experience and if she is a Domme, seems to understand males and all there flaws. most males stop maturing at an early age and always want to chase the younger women. anyone who maintains themself in a presentable manner and trys to keep in shape should be valued for that and given a second look.

i know i could not keep up with a much younger women and really would not want to a submissive to one. experience is a major factor to me and i would hope to be judged the same way.

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: How old is too old - 5/29/2012 10:18:07 PM   
pinniped


Posts: 41
Joined: 9/14/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I am older... I am not a hard body and I am not healthy. I have a lifetime dependent. I get rejected, passed up and treated to all sorts of comments of rejection, ageism and rudeness. However, I don't allow it to touch me. I am proud of my life battle scars and damn it... if I can meet a decent man that can put up with my old ass and attitude... all good, even if he is used up and battered.


There's a writer/storyteller by the name of Kevin Kling who once mentioned that the show judging manual for the American Kennel Club has a notation: "Scars earned in battle will not be held against contestants."

"Now, that's gotta make you feel better about yourself," he added.

I think that my own issue is that I am in many ways not mature enough for my age, in terms of many experiences (e.g., never been married, cohabitated, haven't even really been in a relationship since my twenties) and I think a lot of women in my own age group are understandably apprehensive about that; they'd probably like a guy who is closer to where they are, not to mention probably thinking more about retirement planning than still trying to set career goals. :) I think this is part of why, aside from obvious physical reasons, I find myself feeling attracted to women in their thirties or thereabouts....I feel like I have more in common with a lot of them. (Also, because the 'hot nerdy girl' wasn't really a thing in my age group. There are nerdy women my age, but they tended to reject the notion of trying to be hot as being beneath them somehow. Or at least it seems that way.)

In my search criteria, I put that I'm looking for women between 35-59, but realistically I'm concentrating on the 45-55 range. The notion of having some kind of affair with a girl in her twenties is certainly a nice one, but not something I'm seriously seeking (even if I hired a pro dome, I'd probably be looking for one with more experience).

Of course the notion of being a hot girl in her twenties is what I really want, but that's another story....

ETA: a female acquaintance of mine who is more or less my age, maybe 5-10 years younger, happened to post to Facebook this weekend at her being startled at being hit on by an 18-year-old guy at an SCA event. She doesn't look older than her mid-thirties, IMHO, so it didn't surprise me that much, but she found it quite a confidence booster. (I also notice she didn't say how she actually responded to it.... :D)

< Message edited by pinniped -- 5/29/2012 10:20:53 PM >

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: How old is too old - 5/29/2012 10:55:09 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		My ex just turned 70 (ChristyCougar) and she's not too old. Her last guy was in his 40s.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to scoot60)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: How old is too old - 6/1/2012 1:50:21 PM   
scoot60


Posts: 13
Joined: 3/19/2012
Status: offline 		There are some really good insights here. I guess I should feel very greatful for the one that had me for so many years. I think the key was I always put her needs and desires first as a sub should. She always said my submission to her inspired her to also meet my desires. I think too many only want to play submissive but not live submissive.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: How old is too old - 6/2/2012 1:03:52 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
Barely Legal ain't no woman's magazine.....

In my experience, older people tend to be invisible to younger ones. A 20 year gap means you become dating invisible, i.e. not seen as "someone to date." You might have all the sex appeal of a tree standing in the yard. This is especially true for someone 63. Everyone 43 years of age or younger is going to see you as a grand-dad figure.

Downstream 20 somethings don't look to 40 somethings as dating material either.

Years also portend more as one get's older. The difference between 90-95 could be death, 60-65 retirement, 40-45 the first significant loss in libido for men. Under 40 everything remains pretty much wide-open and possible. Older people like to be associated with that and not deal in the talk of arthritis, knee replacements, aging parents, and empty nests, etc.

The discrimination goes well beyond dating, employers have very little inclination to hire anyone over 50 if someone 24 years of age or older could do the same job.

May sage wisdom and astral influence guide you past father time into the arms of a fair maiden.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 6/2/2012 1:06:59 PM >

(in reply to fucktoyprincess)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: How old is too old - 6/2/2012 7:14:06 PM   
JustFemi


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/23/2012
Status: offline 		Age is not just a number, and I think that's a ridiculous notion when looked at in the light of long-term relationships.

I'm 30. The OP is 63. If he and I got married, I'd likely end up a widow before the age he is NOW (I'm not picking on you, scoot60, just using you as an example). How much longer, assuming he's in good physical shape now, would be be able to go hiking with me, fishing, carry heavy camping gear, ride ATVs, and have sex 3x a day? Is he going to say "Yes, let's play Call of Duty tonight"? How about, "Sure, I'll go to the Anberlin concert with you, I love that band!"?

Why would I want to get involved with someone that much older than me, knowing that I'd have only half a lifetime with him because he's going to croak waaaay earlier than me, assuming we die of old age? (The "well accidents happen" argument isn't applicable here.) What are the odds of us having same interests? How in the hell would I tell my kid that someone older than her grandpa was my boyfriend?

_____________________________

http://deviantlyromantic.wordpress.com/

(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: How old is too old - 6/4/2012 8:33:29 AM   
oldguy07


Posts: 2
Joined: 5/12/2012
Status: offline 		I have found that when I message a mistress on here that by the second email many block you (me) , I am respectful and just trying to start conversation... I always try to only seek a mistress within in my age group , either I get a response that "im looking for younger or I get blocked.... I also have noticed there are not many active dominate women in my age group in san diego area.

So I'm scratching head and wondering if there something wrong here...

(in reply to OttersSwim)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: How old is too old - 6/4/2012 8:58:46 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I'm with JustFemi.

I am fifty four... with illness and limitations. Add a brain damaged son, not working and living on a small private income... and let me tell you... the quality guys are running for the hills... of any age. There are those that would love to let me tie them up and do many things to their bodies... but few want a woman like me for long term (however long that is) and those that are left... fuck... I wouldn't have them in my home for five minutes.

We all have something that others may not want. Some are luckier and have lots that others want or aren't as forthright about it. We have homes or locations... age... situations and it all plays into the mating game. Its just what it is.

I can't get mad or upset that no one seems to want me. No one is willing to move to me or accept my son. I can't tell you how many want me to put my son in a facility so they can play with me. Then I get... you're too old to be with, but we could play. Who said life was going to be the way we want it and easy? We get older... there are older people out there... there tends to be other factors that play into it, but age is an important factor if you are looking far outside your age group.

Hell... lots of guys don't want me because I cuss and am not a lady. lol

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to oldguy07)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: How old is too old - 6/4/2012 10:51:27 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

I have found that when I message a mistress on here that by the second email many block you (me) , I am respectful and just trying to start conversation... I always try to only seek a mistress within in my age group , either I get a response that "im looking for younger or I get blocked.... I also have noticed there are not many active dominate women in my age group in san diego area.

So I'm scratching head and wondering if there something wrong here...


Perhaps you are overly respectful, i.e., calling her a Mistress when at the time you write she is a stranger to you. Additionally, your profile is all kink - do add a bunch of vanilla stuff about you. There's tons of more detailed profile advice here as well as what to say and not to say in a first email.

Also try joining groups and going to events, which are best found on FL: https://fetlife.com/search?q=san%20diego

(in reply to oldguy07)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: How old is too old - 6/4/2012 3:38:39 PM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: oldguy07

I have found that when I message a mistress on here that by the second email many block you (me) , I am respectful and just trying to start conversation... I always try to only seek a mistress within in my age group , either I get a response that "im looking for younger or I get blocked.... I also have noticed there are not many active dominate women in my age group in san diego area.

So I'm scratching head and wondering if there something wrong here...


So many times people aren't successful in what they want to achieve and put the reason for that on something they 'think' is the problem. It might not be what you think it is. Maybe you're asking women who don't want someone long distance and they don't see any reason to reply to you. Maybe it's how you are addressing them. Maybe you're coming off as a horn dog - you say you are respectful, maybe you're not to them. Maybe they have stated in their profile that any replies have to contain a certain item like a picture and yours don't.

On the whole age usually plays into people's preferences and it's a factor, like it or not it's part of the picture. It's not the only thing out there that is turning people away though.

On the whole there aren't many active Dominant women in ANY area, of any age, it's a fact of the kink world that lifestyle Dominant women looking for partners are hard to come by.

(in reply to oldguy07)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: How old is too old - 6/4/2012 6:36:04 PM   
seekingOwnertoo


Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I'm with JustFemi.

I am fifty four... with illness and limitations. Add a brain damaged son, not working and living on a small private income... and let me tell you... the quality guys are running for the hills... of any age. There are those that would love to let me tie them up and do many things to their bodies... but few want a woman like me for long term (however long that is) and those that are left... fuck... I wouldn't have them in my home for five minutes.

We all have something that others may not want. Some are luckier and have lots that others want or aren't as forthright about it. We have homes or locations... age... situations and it all plays into the mating game. Its just what it is.

I can't get mad or upset that no one seems to want me. No one is willing to move to me or accept my son. I can't tell you how many want me to put my son in a facility so they can play with me. Then I get... you're too old to be with, but we could play. Who said life was going to be the way we want it and easy? We get older... there are older people out there... there tends to be other factors that play into it, but age is an important factor if you are looking far outside your age group.

Hell... lots of guys don't want me because I cuss and am not a lady. lol


Well Ms. Lockit, perhaps we should keep the facts straight!

How many of these people know of Your INCREDIBLE sense of humor ... the one that keeps a guy laughing for hours?


How many people know of Your honesty, as well as Your care and concern for others?


How many people know of Your extreme intelligence?


Before You say You are undesirable ... please add that in Your location ... it is hard to meet a quality guy, too!





Your best traits only show themselves, when not involved in a purely electronic exchange!





< Message edited by seekingOwnertoo -- 6/4/2012 6:38:59 PM >

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: How old is too old - 6/4/2012 6:48:17 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Oh dear... lol... are you saying I should like... um... electronically shut up?

You should be spanked for that! hehe

Thank you darlin! I was just freaking out over a computer issue and saw my nick fly by... you helped my mood for sure!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: How old is too old - 6/4/2012 7:02:01 PM   
HouseOfDarkness


Posts: 8
Joined: 2/3/2007
Status: offline 		I am an older Dominant, I get rude messages a lot. most telling me to get out of the lifestyle, I am healthy and not in bad shape, but the search for someone has taken quite a long time, yet, it still goes on.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: How old is too old - 6/4/2012 7:04:55 PM   
HouseOfDarkness


Posts: 8
Joined: 2/3/2007
Status: offline 		Was told that, subs/slaves don't want older Dominants because they may die quickly and leave them. Hell everyone dides, some way younger than others

(in reply to OttersSwim)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: How old is too old - 6/4/2012 7:15:01 PM   
seekingOwnertoo


Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Oh dear... lol... are you saying I should like... um... electronically shut up?

You should be spanked for that! hehe

Thank you darlin! I was just freaking out over a computer issue and saw my nick fly by... you helped my mood for sure!




No ... just saying .. You are a wonderful Lady ... whose BEST traits are readily apparent ...


That said ... i always accept spankings, too!


(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 80
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