|
Lockit -> RE: The wonderful world of stalkers - (4/16/2012 7:44:09 AM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: littlewonder
chatte, the one I called the cops on, was arrested. He went to jail for 2 months and paid a huge fine. Yup, that pretty much made him not want to stalk me anymore. He knew I'd just continue to have him arrested. So unless the stalker is rich eventually he'll run out of money and police will eventually keep his ass in jail with no bond and even if he did have a bond he won't afford it because he's been arrested before lol.
Otherwise, even if they don't take no for an answer, it's not a big deal. The more I shrug them off and ignore them in real life, the more frustrated they get until they give up. If you don't give them the attention they're looking for, eventually they go away from my experience.
Yup, had guys say they were going to blackmail me. I told them to go ahead. I have nothing to lose and everyone knows my life. I have zero to hide. I've had an ex say he had nude pics of me and was going to put them online. I told him to go ahead. He did with a few. I shrugged it off. Had another say he was going to break into my home. Told him I've been kidnapped by knifepoint from my own home once and if he wished to try again he was more than welcome. I'm sure the police won't mind the bloody mess on my floor I would leave of his ass.
I think people give too much attention to stalkers and play into their drama.
Things don't always work out in certain ways as stalkers come in a variety of flavors with a variety of motivators. While it may be most common that a stalker acts in a certain way AND the stalkee or police act in certain ways, there are always those that don't act in the most common manner and you can have varying effects to the situation. I really wish it were as simple as you have seemingly made it here.
First of all, some of those that have been stalked have been stalked in different decades and different cities. Each of these things can influence the experience. Being able to provide proof of what has happened can amount to another major factoid that can effect what might or might not happen. Having a stranger stalker or one that you knew could pose certain difficulties. Bottom line, the stalkee has to prove something is going on and there are those slick fuckers that know just what they can get away with. Even those that know just how far they can go even when the stalkee has evidence, that amounts to something challenging to prove in a court of law and not worth the efforts of those there that should be assisting.
Online stalking can become very dangerous. Ever had one find you? Even being careful, you can make a mistake by glibly answering a post somewhere that mentions one small detail that ever ready and watching stalker can find that identifies you or your location in some manner. How about a happy birthday thread added to what he/she already knows? That birthday thread could mean the difference in someone knowing which (your name) you are. One small tid bit can have you fighting for your life whether you gave the fuck attention or not.
Ever had to move every time you were found because he hadn't actually done anything that could be proven in a court of law? Ever had to make sure your children couldn't be caught up in it? How about the guy that slips in and out? Or the guy that has help to harass you or the ability to use multiple locations, etc? How do you prove you just know someone was looking in your window? But officer, there are foot prints in the snow. Sorry ma'am, nothing was disturbed and we aren't going to take prints of a shoe print unless we know some crime has been committed. He was looking in my window... you can see he was. Sorry ma'am. (It can all start or end on how a police officer perceives a situation and what they might or might not personally value or think important.) So he/she gets bolder and bangs on your door in the middle of the night. How do you prove that? Unless you are lucky, handy with a camera in the middle of the night and get a picture before they are gone, which they are expecting... good luck with that.
There are many things that make a stalker situation, not so simple. When you can say you have toughed out a not so simple one, then glib answers will mean something different to you, just as they are to a few of us here.
The bottom line is that each stalker or victim may be different and so might the situation all the way around. You said it right... eventually. How long is eventually when you lose sleep, maybe income and home and the more it goes on, the more you are worn down dealing with it all, even for a tough old broad like me.
Now... the guy that was the prompting for this thread being started is someone to take seriously... and I do, but I have been very careful because of my experience with a prior stalker that was very serious and I doubt this one has the know how to get to me, but if he were able somehow to get to me... he would find one tough and very armed old broad. Even with the different nicknames he has used and the threads where he proves something or other, the police won't do much because most police departments don't know what to do and then there is that aspect of... am I giving it attention I shouldn't? lol Sometimes these things aren't an easy call.
Back in the day... most made light of a man taking his spousal rights and no real crime was committed and people really diminished the pain of the victims. Everyone says... do this... do that... you silly fool... leave, run.. go to a shelter... or ignore him, he will go away. That isn't as easy as people think and unless they know shelters, how each functions and all shelters do the same things and have space and police departments all do the same things and victims and stalkers are all the same... is the day we all can glibly say... do this or that or you are being a silly, weak victim.
No one should take a stalker lightly unless they have damn good reason to take them lightly. The way I see it... don't live in fear, cover your ass and do what must be done in each different situation.
|
|
|
|
