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DarqueMirror -> RE: Bullying... the results (4/24/2012 11:43:23 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Kirata
quote:
ORIGINAL: joether
How much pain and suffering have you EVER been in? I'm guessing the most you have experienced is a paper cut. Your are entirely oblivious to the reality such a person suffers through. You lack wisdom, kindness, compassion, and even mature thought. You also lack experience. If you actually had any of these....human...qualities, I know you would never speak on such things. I've never met an individual whom had these qualities and STILL behaved as you do. And I've met quite a number of people in life.
But keep posting as you are. You simply undermine your credibility and worth as a person with each post. In light of evidence to this point, I'd have to seriously ask if you actually know and live by the concept of 'SSC' in BDSM?
You sound like a professional victim whose forte is being a verbal bully when he doesn't get any sympathy. Back to facts:
Bullies don't pick on just anyone. They engage in a "shopping process" to find their victims. Studies have shown that, "at the beginning of the school year, when children do not know each other well, about 22 percent of children report having a victimaztion experience... but by the end of the school year, only 8 percent of kids wind up being regularly singled out by bullies."
Targets of bullies have identifiable characteristics. They tend to be "pervasively nonassertive" in social situations, seldom making overtures or initiating conversations. Often this results in them having only a small social circle. And when they are bullied, it grows smaller. "No one likes a bully, but no one likes a victim either." A failure or inability to stick up for oneself makes other kids uncomfortable, and the victim's social contacts tend to erode.
Bullies are created in the home. "Studies suggest that aggression begins in the early caregiver-child interaction." And while it is almost a cliche to indict testosterone, "boys who were rated (by peers and teachers) most physically aggressive at ages six to 12 had lower testosterone levels at age 13 than ordinary peers." Bullying is not hormone-driven, it is learned.
The best defenses against a being targeted by a bully are assertiveness and self-confidence. But while these qualities can be encouraged in "pervasively nonassertive" children, the fact remains that victims tend to be smaller and weaker than bullies (who choose them partly for those qualities). Thus, immediate and decisive adult intervention is necessarily the critical factor in curbing the behavior and protecting its victims.
> Quotations in the above post are from a long but excellent 1995 article in Psychology Today.
K.
Very good points (in general and about the person you quoted).
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