whore slut??

whore slut?? (Full Version)

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enigmabrat -> whore slut?? (6/5/2006 3:47:54 AM)
why is it that in this life style beeing called a whore or a slut is a good thing. I have had many prespective Doms call me that as terms of endearment and it turns me off completly why do such nasty words have to be used as per names in this life... think of what the words me and I know I am neather of them. I dont sleep around or show off my body in fact Im shy and yes I am a real life virgin. I Hate beeing called these things and I dont get why Doms feel it is nessesery. I am like the most monogamus person ever and I dont get why one would call me these things that I am so aparently not?? please someone clarafy this need for me

trippingdaisy -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 4:08:45 AM)
Hi there. :) Interesting question, but it does come down to communicating limits to your Dom. If name-calling, even if it's limited to 'whore' and 'slut', bothers you, then it's is your responsibility to tell Him. It will be up to Him, then, whether or not He will continue using them. From my experience, most Doms/Masters will respect limits. Some, however, will seek to stretch them, and test them. i have never, ever felt as though those two names are derogatory in any sense, coming from my Master. When He calls me by those names, it's true. For Him? i'm a slut. i will do things for Him that i have never dreamed i'd do for any man. i'm not a 'whore' in the technical sense of the word, but when He uses that name referring to me, i realize it's in the same sense as 'slut'. It's not because He sees me in negative light, it's because He appreciates how i lose myself in Him, and give Him parts of me that used to be mine alone. i hope that clears things up. Of course, that's just my feelings on the matter. [:)] i can't really speak for A/anyone else. S/some like it, S/some don't. If you don't, then respectfully tell your Dom so, and discuss it.

Rayne58 -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 4:11:09 AM)
Master uses the word slut but He calls me "My slut" which to us means I am sexually open and He is able to do anything He wants with me and I will respond gladly [:)] In my 47 years I've only had 5 men (including Him) and the first of those was my husband who I was in a monogamous relationship with for 23 years, so in no way am I a "slut" in the usual meaning of the word. When He calls me that I feel proud that I make Him happy and also much loved and cared for. It's all in the tone of voice - when He says "Come here My slut" and grabs hold of my hair I just melt into a submissive puddle [:D]

SirCumsSlut -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 4:15:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: enigmabrat why is it that in this life style beeing called a whore or a slut is a good thing. I have had many prespective Doms call me that as terms of endearment and it turns me off completly why do such nasty words have to be used as per names in this life... think of what the words me and I know I am neather of them. I dont sleep around or show off my body in fact Im shy and yes I am a real life virgin. I Hate beeing called these things and I dont get why Doms feel it is nessesery. I am like the most monogamus person ever and I dont get why one would call me these things that I am so aparently not?? please someone clarafy this need for me As you can see by my name, I am SirCum's slut.......I am his slut alone and I LOVE IT when he calls me HIS SLUT. Now if another Dom/me were to call me it would not bother me for I proudly carry and wear the name SLUT. Now Sir has never called me a "whore" and would never because that is in our opinions a term for one who takes money for sex. And that I AM NOT!!! Now I can understand that for some to be called "slut/whore" can be degrading and that would be something that would need to be discussed in the beginning

enigmabrat -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 4:23:18 AM)
Like I said I know in this life slut is seen as a term of endearment I just want to know why we have taken on such a nagatively conotative word on as a good thing. We should be above that!! I just dont get it

trippingdaisy -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 4:30:44 AM)
i understand your question...i'm sorry if i didn't cover it completely. When you say 'we should be above that', you aren't taking into consideration other P/people's kinks. If YOU are above that? That's fine for you. For me? It's something that i crave hearing from Him, not because i see it as degrading or humiliating, but because it's the truth. i AM a slut for Him. For Him. No one else. i'm also in the same boat as Rayne58. When He calls me His slut...it's not necessarily a term of endearment, but it makes me feel very owned, and very powerless. i love that feeling. But if someone i don't know, or another Dom/me were to call me a slut? i probably wouldn't react well. i can totally understand why you yourself are not into that. The fact remains, however, that if and when you find a Dom, you need to discuss it with him. Not everyone's kinks are the same.

enigmabrat -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 4:35:25 AM)
Im sorry I dont get it thats all I just dont understnad

darkinshadows -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 4:55:23 AM)
It's a personal preference thing. It is talking something people see as wrong and negative, and making them your own and seeing the positive. I love it when He calls me His slut, or His whore... when He is speaking about my artwork... sometimes He says I should 'whore myself around more' to prospective clients. It doesn't have the negative impact all the time, as you seem to view it. And I even have a few friends who call me 'slut'... I would draw the line at anyone I do not know or are unfamilier with, feeling they have the right to call me that though and would either ask them not to - and if they feel they cannot - then do not address me at all. You have to be comfortable with the way you are portrayed... and there is nothing wrong with communicating your limits to anyone. Personally, I loathe being called 'girl' or 'sub/subbie'... I find them horrid words and to me, indicates laziness... my personal view. So I insist I am not - and those that persist, are ignored. It is as simple as that for me. Peace and Love

Lashra -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 5:02:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: darkinshadows Personally, I loathe being called 'girl' Peace and Love I'm with you on this one and that is a habit I had to break my current switching partner of. He is an ex Master of the Gorean (he is my sub now) variety so calling his sub girl was just the norm. I found it cold, demeaning and disrespectful in my view, after all Im over 40 and therefore not girl material. So we agreed to substitute the term babygirl on the rare occasions that I bottom for him. As for using the term whore, I can call him that and it doesnt bother him. I don't like to be called a whore because thats a person who takes money for sex in my opinion. Though the term slut we both use freely upon each other depending upon who is Topping/bottoming that scene. Its just hot chat basically and alot of people like it, those who do not, don't have to engage in it. ~Lashra

becca333 -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 5:09:35 AM)
Those terms don't endear me at all, but it's just a matter of personal preference. When you're in a relationship you develop your own language together, some words are given special meanings or power. If you don't like those terms, then you communicate it clearly with your partner and you negotiate limits about it.

trippingdaisy -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 5:14:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lashra quote: ORIGINAL: darkinshadows Personally, I loathe being called 'girl' Peace and Love I'm with you on this one and that is a habit I had to break my current switching partner of. He is an ex Master of the Gorean (he is my sub now) variety so calling his sub girl was just the norm. I found it cold, demeaning and disrespectful in my view, after all Im over 40 and therefore not girl material. So we agreed to substitute the term babygirl on the rare occasions that I bottom for him. As for using the term whore, I can call him that and it doesnt bother him. I don't like to be called a whore because thats a person who takes money for sex in my opinion. Though the term slut we both use freely upon each other depending upon who is Topping/bottoming that scene. Its just hot chat basically and alot of people like it, those who do not, don't have to engage in it. ~Lashra i agree with You whole heartedly here. :) i dislike being called 'girl', simply because it's so impersonal and cold. i've only experienced one Dom that ever used that name on me, and it was only when i was being punished. i also agree with the 'hot chat' part of it. If being called a 'slut' turns U/us on, gets U/us off...then why not? i'm certainly not saying that E/everyone has to enjoy it. It certainly doesn't mean that i respect myself less because i like it. It's alllll about personal preference. [:)]

OhBeMyMind -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 5:17:46 AM)
enigmabrat, I do not feel that it is really anything to or not to understand. Some things are sometimes better left at "just because they do". There is really no rhyme or reason. For instance, I cannot understand for the life of me, why someone would enjoy a ginger finger shoved up their bottom, however, I am not going to knock them for it, they like it just because they do. And its like no amount of explaining it to me is really going to satisfy me. If you do not like being called certain names, there is nothing wrong with that, however, in time, someday, you could change your mind. Just like there is a possibility that someday I might understand the attraction to having a ginger finger inserted into my bottom, not likely....but I leave open the possibility. Maybe my response is apples and oranges ~shrugs~ but it is just how I look at it.

becca333 -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 5:21:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OhBeMyMind ......If you do not like being called certain names, there is nothing wrong with that, however, in time, someday, you could change your mind. Just like there is a possibility that someday I might understand the attraction to having a ginger finger inserted into my bottom, not likely....but I leave open the possibility. Maybe my response is apples and oranges ~shrugs~ but it is just how I look at it. Isn't it nice to know that there's always more new things to try? Yet another of the great things about the wonderful world of kink.

trippingdaisy -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 5:23:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OhBeMyMind Some things are sometimes better left at "just because they do". There is really no rhyme or reason. For instance, I cannot understand for the life of me, why someone would enjoy a ginger finger shoved up their bottom, however, I am not going to knock them for it, they like it just because they do. And its like no amount of explaining it to me is really going to satisfy me. If you do not like being called certain names, there is nothing wrong with that, however, in time, someday, you could change your mind. Just like there is a possibility that someday I might understand the attraction to having a ginger finger inserted into my bottom, not likely....but I leave open the possibility. Maybe my response is apples and oranges ~shrugs~ but it is just how I look at it. Hah, this is a great way to put it! :D i, for one, HATE being called pookie. Despise it. Utterly. But i refuse to look down on people that do. To the OP: it is definitely your right to dislike something, no matter how many other people enjoy it. Just like a scat fetish...i've never tasted poo, but i can guarantee that i wouldn't like it. i still respect someone else's kink.

enigmabrat -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 5:31:39 AM)
Im not looking down on people that like it Im just trying to understand how a negative term could be used possativly

TNstepsout -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 5:36:30 AM)
It may feel degrading for some to be called those things, but for many degradation and humiliation is part of the kink. Then there is the aspect that being called "my slut" or "good little whore" for example, are indications that you have pleased your Master by letting go and being voraciously sexual. For some realizing/feeling that approval is the key to being able to really let go and enjoy one's sexuality, to let go of shame and embarassment and embrace one's inner slut. There's a post on another thread from a male who doesn't like the term "sissy" or "sissification", although the he does engage in acts of feminization with his Mistress. He simply doesn't like how those terms make him feel. Others love it. So it's just all about what works and doesn't work for you. Sometimes things change too, depending on who you're with, and how it's done. Something can just suddenly trigger a shift in your thinking and the next thing you know, you "get" what others have been thinking/feeling all along.

trippingdaisy -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 5:43:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: enigmabrat Im not looking down on people that like it Im just trying to understand how a negative term could be used possativly It simply is. :) i know that's may look like a cop-out response, but it's just how it is. It's not really something that can be understood, if it's not for you. Simply put: i'll use the words of TNstepsout. Being called 'My Slut' by my Master is an indication that He is pleased, because i have indeed let go, and i've shown him my inner 'slut'. Or, as TNstepsout put it (thanks to TNstepsout for the great words!), He likes that i become 'voracioiusly sexual', in a way that i only do for Him. i'm not sure what else to say. It gets U/us off. You may not get it anymore than i will understand your need to submit, while at the same time wanting to be on equal standing with your partner. It's personal preference. Make sense?

txpet -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 6:04:36 AM)
No words have an inherently negative connotation. Everything is in the way the listener hears them. i've never minded being called a slut ... it does not sound negatvie to me. i AM a slut. i always did mind being called a bitch ... then Master called me that and i just about melted. It is in His tone of voice. It does not matter names Master calls me ... He can call me anything He wants to. Whenever He calls me anything what comes across is His ownership of me, His caring for me ... the fact that no matter what else i am, it is ok, it is good because whatever i am, i am His.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 6:16:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: enigmabrat Like I said I know in this life slut is seen as a term of endearment I just want to know why we have taken on such a nagatively conotative word on as a good thing. We should be above that!! I just dont get it Part of turning it positive is going "above that." It's a common process that occurs in almost all cultures in history- taking a word applied with a negative connotation, and twisting it into a positive one to reclaim one's power/nullify the negative power it once had. As with everything Enigma, if you don't like it, you don't have to do it. If you're not into name calling, then don't get involved with a dom who likes it. For me, I simply AM a slut (and to me, being a slut has nothing to do with how many partners, a monogamous person can be a slut). I enjoy using it in a positive context, as a way to say "I know who I am and I celebrate myself." But really, it's just a label like anything else. Use it if it suits you, don't if it doesn't.

OhBeMyMind -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 6:19:47 AM)
I understand, but I have to ask, what is it about the terms "slut" and "whore" that you find negative? I suppose that perhaps it all has to do with the context in which it is used. For my sir to say "Come here my slut" versus being in a catfight with some chick, with my hackles up, for her to name call me, would probably spur a completely different reaction. quote: ORIGINAL: enigmabrat Im not looking down on people that like it Im just trying to understand how a negative term could be used possativly

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