Whiplashsmile4
Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
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I'm going to start with #7 for the hell of it.
Behaviors and actions of another person will influence my personal thoughts/feelings towards them. It does shape and define my thoughts/feelings rather much. I will safely reassure anybody, that they are perfectly capable of doing things which will result in me hating verses loving them. Generally, I find those people seeking "Unconditional Love" are the ones with some sort of fucked up issues, that have a hard time finding somebody else to put up with their bullshit behaviors/actions.
With #6...
Most can't deal with anything that violates the pedestal image they've placed you upon. Personally, I'd rather be with somebody that's happy and content with What I want to share on my mind. What I'm comfortable with disclosing. There are many times, when I'm sorting something out. Where it's not wise to share what is on my mind. I want, need and deserve some peace of mind. Without having to dump shit out, which maybe taken the wrong way. When it comes to my mind, I might be saying "Back the fuck off" and let me be.
With #5...
Trust is about way way more than limits. WOW. However, in terms of what you have wrote. This depends upon your own trust in yourself more so than it does the trust of another person. Also, don't expect me to trust in your own belief of what you can or can not do. Many people tend to think of themselves in a negative light or that they are not fully capable of doing something. This goes far outside of the scope of kinky BDSM activities. My Trust in another person may or may not jive with their own perceived self image. If however, I can count on you burning a steak to shoe leather like clockwork... rest assured you'll know how well I'll Trust you to cook a steak dinner. It will be like clock work.
That's the thing about trust, one can trust in certain things to happen either good or bad, like clockwork... time and interaction will establish trust. Trust will vary according to the situation and circumstances at hand. I will trust for somebody to fail as well as succeed. this is a more balanced view.
With #3....
Consistency is nice, however in regards to the way you phrased it here. There are times when I'll give somebody room to hang themselves (as a learning lesson) compared to punishing them. Afterwards, yeah... I'll explain it. If anything, this is the lesson of hard knocks. It all depends.
When it comes to rewards, Pffftt... I'm not going to reward somebody for every little thing they do. Sure these things all add up over time. There are many thankless tasks in day to day life. This is reality. I myself don't get rewarded for all the shit I end up doing for people. In many ways, the act of doing things is the reward in itself. The reward may be that of humility even. Sure rewards are great. Don't get me wrong they have their place. However, let's be realistic about this aspect please.
One more thing, I'm always a little cautious about somebody looking for 101 rules to be laid down right away. Personally, I like to Establish rules as needed or desired. I could lay down a rule just to see if you will follow it or not. If you break it, well.. it could be you failing a test at an early stage of the game. I might be taking a Strike count. Earn enough of them...and the game is over. There always is some sort of purpose or reasoning behind any rule. I really don't want to get caught up in a game of dealing with a constant rule breaker that has no respect. Either one gets with the program quickly or not at all.
I look for consistency in the opposite side of the coin as well. Sure while you are looking for consistency yourself, don't forget about how important it is for you to be consistent as well. Breaking a rule for the sake of checking for my own consistency, just might be a mistake. There's always some reason why somebody breaks a rule. I'm assuming you're a grown adult and not some wayward out of control child.
With #4....
There are times when it's best to not share the truth with somebody else. It all depends upon the scope of the situation and what the truth will do. I'm not saying that it's okay to constantly lie, or to even capitalize upon lies. Again, this is about realism in any relationship. I'm not into telling straight up lies, however I will limit disclosure at times. Even more so, when I'm faced with making a choice or decision. There are times when I'm very brutally honest. Again, this goes back to what I feel is right. I myself, would ask for somebody to trust in my own abilities to make a judgement call upon this area.
I've had people press me for The truth, while I was in the middle of sorting things out, it's not a pretty sight. The are times, when I myself am trying to figure something out. I'm not going to tell somebody shit one way or another, unless I'm pretty confident about it. Other things, again... I'll be brutally or even tactfully honest about.
With #2....
My Attention... Damn, while I understand that somebody listening to all the small details of your life is important. You could be one of those emotional/mental succubus's which dwells upon the smallest negative things. This type of energy is best to not feed into with attention, time or effort. It's truly toxic.
While I don't know what you or other people are like, there are always exceptions and violations to bullet lists of expectations that people create like this. Reality has a way of fucking with expectation like these at times.
With #1....
This is good and reasonable to a point. Some people appear to be very needy creatures. Not all, but rather some. There is only so much time I can humanly give another. I need time for myself, time to also do constructive day to day things. I also require time from somebody else as well. There needs to be a balance here. If it's not balanced or it's out of wack, I'm not a happy camper.
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Жизнь ума ебет.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUzJI4Palq0
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RE: 7 things a submissive needs from a dominant - 
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