Ishtarr
Posts: 1130
Joined: 4/30/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Focus50
Well I pretty much agree with chatterbox24. The OP was of using the word "slut" in a profile where strangers can assume, define and judge all they want - and I would now assume you do describe yourself as such, IF your profile could be found....
Me, I'm still something of a romantic who seeks relationships moreso than partners and looking at profiles comes from something interesting catching my attention. And I'm just not interested in dating the "town bike", no matter how the self-proclaimed "slut" wants to hash it.
I recently read a profile of a fem/sub who, presumably referring to general experience, said she was new to the lifestyle but had done a few gang-bangs. 'X'ed outa there pretty quick, too - and lifestyle experience is not an issue to me.
Focus.
That wasn't my question to chatterbox24 though.
Of course I realize that certain people will have negative connotation to the word "slut". And of course there are people like yourself who are not prone to get romantically involved with people who have a lot of sexual experience -or simple advertise that they do. However to jump from your personal perception of the word slut to a notion that a person using the word slut to describe themselves as "wanting to be disrespected, wanting to be considered practicing unsafe sex, wanting to be thought less off" is quite a big leap in my opinion.
Of course there are people that WILL think less and will disrespect of a self-described slut, but there is a huge difference of personally having negative connotations to a word, and the idea that people using that word to describe themselves want to be viewed negatively.
There are people who see homosexuals as filthy amoral sodomists who will burn in hell. But that doesn't mean a person stating they are homosexual wants to be seen as such.
There are people who see Dominants as wife abusing lowlifes who have personal insecurities they take out on others. But that doesn't mean a person stating they are Dominant wants to be seen as such.
There are people who see Muslims as backwards idiotic terrorists who picked the wrong God. But that doesn't mean a person stating they are Muslim wants to be seen as such.
And so on and so on.
The difference between making a negative judgement based on what somebody says about themselves, and the idea that the person saying something about themselves is somehow trying to provoke said negative judgements is a pretty big leap in my opinion. And a leap that ultimately comes down to intellectual dishonesty and self-deciet as far as I'm concerned.
Personally, I don't really care if people judge me based on their own preconceived notions when I tell somebody I'm a slut. I know that's going to happen, just like people judge me in various way based on just about everything else I tell them about myself. People judge, it's a fact of life.
I totally understand you unwillingness to be romantically involved with a self-descibed slut. Just like I have an unwillingness to be romantically involved with people who aren't open to the idea of casual sex. But does that unwillingness to be romantically involved with a slut translate for you into the idea that a self-described slut wants you to disrespect her, look down upon her and so on?
I can tell you right now, the sluts I know don't give a fuck whether or not you respect them, and they sure as hell aren't having casual sex because they want you to disrespect them. Instead, they're having casual sex because they want to have casual sex, and the respect or disrespect they are getting from other people because they are making that choice doesn't factor into their decision to have or not have sex.
So I totally don't get how on Earth that sort of behavior would become translated into a judgement that a self-described slut desires to be disrespected.
And as an aside, no my profile doesn't mention anything about my sexual behavior, or the word slut at all. Why would it?
It's not word I tend to use to describe myself to other people, not because I'm afraid of the judgement it may carry, but because I consider the fact that I am a slut such an unimportant, irrelevant and boring factoid in grand scheme of the person that I am, that I usually considering it too irrelevant to even mention. If I had to describe myself in a thousand words, "slut" would probably never be mentioned, because it's an aspect of me that doesn't define me as a person, and therefore not worth mention.
< Message edited by Ishtarr -- 6/22/2012 3:45:07 PM >
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