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RE: Help me understand! - 6/7/2006 9:42:52 PM   
xxmstrchasxx


Posts: 423
Joined: 5/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Why are so many dominants, nothing more than controlling, predatory and simply psychotic.

What keeps, an intelligent, thoughtful woman, going back!. Is it lack of self-esteem? Help me understand!

I want no part of that much insecurity in any woman!


Lasttime,

It says in your profile you're a Dominant.  Do you think you're predatory, controlling and psychotic?  I was just wondering the reason for the question?

My sub does not have lack of self-esteem in any way.  Does yours?

Just because a woman is a sub sure doesn't make her have lack of self-esteem, a doormat, or anything else nor more than all Dominants are psychotic.  There are players for sure but how many of them are really a Dom?

I treat my sub very well and love her with all my heart.  I always care for her and protect her and try to make sure she gets what she wants and needs.

I think you have classified Doms and subs in general to something that really isn't true.

_____________________________

XxMasterChasxX

(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Help me understand! - 6/8/2006 1:12:34 AM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		People are people, they make the same mistakes no matter what path they walk. 

You seem to be feeling very frustrated and angry - you're talking about some specific situation here, not the BDSM world at large.  I hope it works out for you, and if it doesn't I'm sorry, and you just have to move on.

All Doms are not psycho predators.  And all subs are not insecure and mindless.  The kink world probably attracts more than our fair quota, but there's good people here too.

Now go find yourself a nice secure woman, and do something non-predatorially kinky, and feel better!

(in reply to xxmstrchasxx)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Help me understand! - 6/8/2006 1:37:26 AM   
CERCKL


Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Why are so many dominants, nothing more than controlling, predatory and simply psychotic.


Wait a minute I thought we were lying fakes, now we're controlling, predatory and psychotic?
Next thing you know, I'll be an asshole...

C

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Help me understand! - 6/8/2006 1:44:34 AM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline 		Poof!

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together


(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Help me understand! - 6/8/2006 1:59:37 AM   
keme


Posts: 163
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CERCKL

quote:

Why are so many dominants, nothing more than controlling, predatory and simply psychotic.


Wait a minute I thought we were lying fakes, now we're controlling, predatory and psychotic?
Next thing you know, I'll be an asshole...

C


AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

*points to line above*

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

_____________________________

The path I choose is not for everyone... it is mine alone... and my responsibility to reach the end of it making as much positive influence as I am capable of and being as true to myself as I can be.
~keme

(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Help me understand! - 6/8/2006 8:29:51 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CERCKL

quote:

Why are so many dominants, nothing more than controlling, predatory and simply psychotic.


Wait a minute I thought we were lying fakes, now we're controlling, predatory and psychotic?
Next thing you know, I'll be an asshole...

C

Nyahh, nyahhh   I'm already an asshole.  Write for MY list of references...

(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Help me understand! - 6/8/2006 8:31:26 AM   
Reflectivesoul


Posts: 1777
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: CERCKL

quote:

Why are so many dominants, nothing more than controlling, predatory and simply psychotic.


Wait a minute I thought we were lying fakes, now we're controlling, predatory and psychotic?
Next thing you know, I'll be an asshole...

C

Nyahh, nyahhh   I'm already an asshole.  Write for MY list of references...


Nuh uh CD.... We have a resident Asshole and Cerckl takes that one hands down..... I even have a reference sheet for him..... Sorry Hun lol

_____________________________

ooooo..I bet THATS gonna leave a mark!!!!

Equal opportunity pisser on-er ... heh..

Gimme some crayons, I want color and I want it now DAMNIT!

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Help me understand! - 6/8/2006 8:39:54 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lasttime2

Why are so many dominants, nothing more than controlling, predatory and simply psychotic.

What keeps, an intelligent, thoughtful woman, going back!. Is it lack of self-esteem? Help me understand!

I want no part of that much insecurity in any woman!


Yanno, I was going to do the whole zen thing and state that what you see as controlling, predatory, and simply psychotic is dominance to another but...ooops, looks like I did. 

I could also note that you are entitled to your opinion but unless your opinion of someone is shared by others and there is some sort of consensus that another's actions are indeed controlling (which is a dominant characteristic by the way), predatory and psychotic, then it remains your opinion and not fact.

What keeps an intelligent, thoughtful woman going back to such a man, if indeed this what he is?  There've been many answers given that make sense to me.  They might not be good reasons to seek such behavior out again but they are legitimate reasons. 

If you want no part of that much insecurity in a woman...why then are you asking the question?  Seems to me you'd be glad to be well-rid of such a woman.

Finally, MOO and YMMV, I would not classify anyone as a dominant that not only I but others saw as predatory and psychotic.

(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Help me understand! - 6/8/2006 8:40:59 AM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		"I am going to rail against and attack "bad masters" thus, thus making me appear to be a "good master" and the little sluts will come running to me."

Gee, I hope this crap works for you.  Me, I just tell them up front that I am a control freak and sexual predator and if they say "cool" then we are good to go.

To each his own I guess.

(in reply to Reflectivesoul)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Help me understand! - 6/8/2006 8:44:39 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom
"I am going to rail against and attack "bad masters" thus, thus making me appear to be a "good master" and the little sluts will come running to me."

Gee, I hope this crap works for you.  Me, I just tell them up front that I am a control freak and sexual predator and if they say "cool" then we are good to go.

To each his own I guess.

I thought for a moment he might be going for the sympathy vote as well, but didn't seem to be well constructed enough for that- more just random emotion rant sort of thing.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Help me understand! - 6/8/2006 8:48:14 AM   
LiliesDoGrow


Posts: 106
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		Someone tell me why so many submissives are beautiful, intelligent, creative? Why would a perfectly nice dominant keep going back to them?

I don't understand?

I wouldn't want to be with a man that secure!

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Help me understand! - 6/8/2006 8:54:09 AM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lasttime2

Why are so many dominants, nothing more than controlling, predatory and simply psychotic.

What keeps, an intelligent, thoughtful woman, going back!. Is it lack of self-esteem? Help me understand!

I want no part of that much insecurity in any woman!



I can't say I've met a doormat in the world of BDSM. I can't really say I've met a submissive. I've met women that want to be sexual submissive if you submit and fill all the ticks in their boxes. Most men will do just about anything for sex and submit to this humiliation while calling themselves a dom, it's just an illusion. I did it once but that was a lesson learnt the hard way.

(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Help me understand! - 6/8/2006 8:55:48 AM   
Proprietrix


Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lasttime2
Why are so many dominants, nothing more than controlling, predatory and simply psychotic.


The same reason so many people in general have character flaws. Our society breeds people that way.

quote:

What keeps, an intelligent, thoughtful woman, going back!. Is it lack of self-esteem? Help me understand!


I'd say she isn't all that intelligent and thoughtful if she keeps going back.
Other than that, because she chooses to.

quote:

I want no part of that much insecurity in any woman!

Then don't hang out with insecure women.

_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Help me understand! - 6/8/2006 8:57:46 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Why do they return?  Here are some reasons:  They are optimistic and believe that things will change, they see glimpses of what they think could be a good relationship, they have no where else to go, they are insecure and unsure if they are worthy of something better, they fear something better isn't out there.  These are just a few possibilities.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Proprietrix)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Help me understand! - 6/8/2006 4:28:48 PM   
LadiesBladewing


Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline 		This is such an interesting question. The entire -point- of a D/s or M/s relationship is determining who is in -control-. Without the dominant individual exerting control over the submissive element, managing and controlling the agreed-upon aspects of life, there wouldn't -be- a D/s or M/s relationship.

After reading your profile, I find myself looking to try to understand your situation... it seems like what you're seeking may not be heavily rooted in D/s or M/s. If you don't want to be responsible for another individual, maybe what you're looking for is something else. You may want to look for individuals who are looking for a part-time relationship, rather than full-time D/s or M/s, or you may not be looking for a "submissive" at all. You may be looking for a vanilla lover who is willing to have her mate be more of an "in charge" type of guy, to take the pressure off her. Then there's always the possibility that all you're looking for is kinky sex or a new lover, if that's the case, this may not be the right place to seek out a partner -- start with the other parameters that you're seeking, and -then- worry about the kinky stuff.

Da'Avatar ZWD

www.klashaan.org



< Message edited by LadiesBladewing -- 6/8/2006 4:29:23 PM >

_____________________________


"Should have", "could have", "would have" and "can't" may be the most dangerous phrases in the English language.
Bladewing Enclave

(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Help me understand! - 6/8/2006 5:25:38 PM   
pinkee


Posts: 487
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lasttime2

Why are so many dominants, nothing more than controlling, predatory and simply psychotic.

What keeps, an intelligent, thoughtful woman, going back!. Is it lack of self-esteem? Help me understand!

I want no part of that much insecurity in any woman!




IMO, controlling, predatory or abusive Men are not Doms or Masters.  Learn the signs of pending abuse -- generally an attempt at isolating you is first -- and run like hell.  There are real Doms and Masters here...i have been blessed with Many such Friends.  Take your time; listen to your instincts, and refuse to cyber.
 
pinkee

< Message edited by pinkee -- 6/8/2006 5:26:59 PM >

(in reply to Lasttime2)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Help me understand! - 6/8/2006 5:39:12 PM   
CERCKL


Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline
quote:

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

*points to line above*

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."



Ooops...too late. I guess I already am; busted. Damned sigs anyway.

C


_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to keme)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Help me understand! - 6/8/2006 6:00:25 PM   
cillydom


Posts: 332
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		hear, hear

I scare away more subbies than i care to admit with what i desire

so i must one of them bad doms

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Help me understand! - 6/8/2006 6:38:05 PM   
pierceforpain


Posts: 9
Joined: 6/4/2006
Status: offline 		maybe some  women just prefer that total control?

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Help me understand! - 6/8/2006 8:23:02 PM   
LaMalinche


Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		Dayum. . . and I thought that it was because I LIKED being abused.

Silly-knuckle-head-me.



_____________________________

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

(in reply to pierceforpain)
Profile   Post #: 40
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