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RE: punishment...but we havent met - 7/8/2012 6:18:02 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline 		Wanting to get a woman in bed and saying and doing stuff to make that happen is not rape. It may not be honorable, but, as the old saying goes "You can't get played unless you hand them the instrument".

Seriously, wtf is with all this "All men are rapists" stuff on here for the past few days?

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(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: punishment...but we havent met - 7/8/2012 6:23:14 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AVegasMaster

I understand it is not your thing and respect your feelings. However, there are some subs that are into such things.


But the OP isn't one of them.  For those that are into such things, that's up to them.  I am responding to the person who has the question, not the people who may be into it and aren't complaining about it happening to them.

No I don't believe in cyber bullshit relationships that never exist offline.  They are fantasy not reality.  Perhaps you believe in them, and they make you happy.  Good for you.  But if you came in here complaining about how some online dominant just went "poof" on you and how hurt you were, I would remind you that you never actually had a relationship with a live person, just a fantasy online.

(in reply to AVegasMaster)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: punishment...but we havent met - 7/8/2012 6:27:16 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

Wanting to get a woman in bed and saying and doing stuff to make that happen is not rape. It may not be honorable, but, as the old saying goes "You can't get played unless you hand them the instrument".

Seriously, wtf is with all this "All men are rapists" stuff on here for the past few days?


Want to point out where I said the word "rape?"  I said 80% of men's first interest is to get into your pants.  Not FORCE their way into your pants, just to say or do what they think will get them there.

I don't think "all" men are rapists, not even "many" men.  I believe a good deal of the women here who claim to have been "date raped" multiple times aren't victims, just having following day regrets they hold the men responsible for.  So before you go off on a tangent about "all men are rapists" bullshit, at least quote the people who are saying it and learn the difference.

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: punishment...but we havent met - 7/8/2012 6:36:52 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline 		My apologies. I got mixed up on threads and folks calling bullshit on percentages.


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Profile   Post #: 44
RE: punishment...but we havent met - 7/8/2012 9:24:48 PM   
bedrock487


Posts: 1
Joined: 7/4/2012
Status: offline 		I don't know where this so-called "Dom" of yours got his indoctrination into this lifestyle but he is a for-sure IDIOT! No Dom in his right mind would suggest that U be punished for having an emotional issue come up. No Legitimate Dom would suggest that your "dominant side come down" with him. That sounds like some serious INSECURITY 2 me. I'm not trying to be all knowing, However I do know this lifestyle! What this guy is suggesting is "OUT-OF-BOUNDS"! U and He have to have a mutual agreement to the parameters of the relationship. U and he must have mutual respect, consideration, security, and most importantly...TRUST! No submissive should EVER submit to ANYONE without having met, set down the boundaries of the relationship and shown mutual acsent. That agreement should be ratified by your actions within the boundaries of the relationship. Lastly, this "strip and stand in the corner" crap is for his sexual gratification. NOTHING ELSE!! Why, because there is no clear reason why you were being punished! What experienced and proper Dom would issue a punishment for no clearly delineated transgression? This guy is not a true DOM! He's an imposter!! Sister, U should run for the hills...NOW!! PEACE!!

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: punishment...but we havent met - 7/8/2012 9:34:44 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady
Not bullshit at all.  You've been married how many years?  80% of the male population's first interest is in how to get a women in bed.  Here on CM, that percentage is quite a bit higher.  They will say and do whatever they think will get them there.

All I can do is shake my head. Your life experience is your own, of course, and you'll make of it what you will. But I'm going to refer Peon to this post right here if he still doesn't understand why I think the time for "feminism" is over.

< Message edited by JeffBC -- 7/8/2012 9:35:13 PM >

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: punishment...but we havent met - 7/8/2012 10:30:31 PM   
BamaD


Posts: 20687
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline 		I don't expect a sub to call me Sir unless I am their Dom let alone presuming to punish them.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: punishment...but we havent met - 7/9/2012 12:08:07 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

Wanting to get a woman in bed and saying and doing stuff to make that happen is not rape. It may not be honorable, but, as the old saying goes "You can't get played unless you hand them the instrument".

Seriously, wtf is with all this "All men are rapists" stuff on here for the past few days?

How about after sessions of one on one with a dom you trusted, whom you told repeatedly that you are not into threesomes, whom he also agreed with you that threesomes are not his thing, whom you play bondage a lot with safely.
Then one day, he decided while you are tied up to bring his friend in to play with you without your permission or knowledge? Is that rape?

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 7/9/2012 12:09:40 AM >

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: punishment...but we havent met - 7/9/2012 12:13:58 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline 		Red flag

A dom who tries to command you when you haven't agreed to be his.

And his using the usual, "you're not submissive enough" argument again when you did not react according to the way he wanted you to react.

From now on, I'm simply gonna treat doms who starts this "you are not submissive enough" nonsense to immaturity.

And then I'm gonna feel more like his mom than a sub.


< Message edited by Greta75 -- 7/9/2012 12:14:42 AM >

(in reply to daddeesgurl1)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: punishment...but we havent met - 7/9/2012 12:42:32 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		or you could just feel like a normal person and click the delete button.


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Everything has changed

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Profile   Post #: 50
RE: punishment...but we havent met - 7/9/2012 4:59:07 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bedrock487



psst - you cannot show genitalia in your avatar or primary picture. Additionally, many women are turned off when men use pics of women as their primary picture. See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4139242/tm.htm


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(in reply to bedrock487)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: punishment...but we havent met - 7/9/2012 5:08:53 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady
Well that covers about 80% of the male population.

bullshit.



Not bullshit at all.  You've been married how many years?  80% of the male population's first interest is in how to get a women in bed.  Here on CM, that percentage is quite a bit higher.  They will say and do whatever they think will get them there.

I did not say YOU were one of those men, and there are quite a few here on the boards who aren't.  But on the other side, yea that is the main goal:  satisfy my fetish, kink and blow me.


If the men on the CM side are relationship oriented, the vast majority of them are doing a piss poor job showing it.


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(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: punishment...but we havent met - 7/9/2012 5:13:03 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

My apologies. I got mixed up on threads and folks calling bullshit on percentages.


Where is the "all men are rapists" thread?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

How about after sessions of one on one with a dom you trusted, whom you told repeatedly that you are not into threesomes, whom he also agreed with you that threesomes are not his thing, whom you play bondage a lot with safely.
Then one day, he decided while you are tied up to bring his friend in to play with you without your permission or knowledge? Is that rape?


The act of bringing the third into the room is not rape, but I would consider it a betrayal. What did the third do once he or she was there?

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(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: punishment...but we havent met - 7/9/2012 5:29:32 AM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline 		It didn't start as an all men are rapists thread, but it took a really bad turn somewhere. The first time meetings in General BDSM Discussions.

I went back and forth so much yesterday I thought I was there when I was here-lol.

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Profile   Post #: 54
RE: punishment...but we havent met - 7/9/2012 5:33:26 AM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

Wanting to get a woman in bed and saying and doing stuff to make that happen is not rape. It may not be honorable, but, as the old saying goes "You can't get played unless you hand them the instrument".

Seriously, wtf is with all this "All men are rapists" stuff on here for the past few days?

How about after sessions of one on one with a dom you trusted, whom you told repeatedly that you are not into threesomes, whom he also agreed with you that threesomes are not his thing, whom you play bondage a lot with safely.
Then one day, he decided while you are tied up to bring his friend in to play with you without your permission or knowledge? Is that rape?

If he allowed someone else to have sex with you while you were tied up, after he had been clearly told that was a hard limit of yours, in my opinion it is rape.

If he allowed them to touch you, I would consider it assault.

The fact that he even brought them, without my having said I would go for that would be one damn good reason for him to never untie me, because I would come out fighting. I hope I would have the self control to fight by calling the authorities, but, I might just kick him in the nuts.


_____________________________

yep

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: punishment...but we havent met - 7/9/2012 7:56:19 AM   
Char2688


Posts: 151
Joined: 4/16/2012
Status: offline 		Run away
Avoid the creep

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: punishment...but we havent met - 7/9/2012 8:04:27 AM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

Wanting to get a woman in bed and saying and doing stuff to make that happen is not rape. It may not be honorable, but, as the old saying goes "You can't get played unless you hand them the instrument".

Seriously, wtf is with all this "All men are rapists" stuff on here for the past few days?

How about after sessions of one on one with a dom you trusted, whom you told repeatedly that you are not into threesomes, whom he also agreed with you that threesomes are not his thing, whom you play bondage a lot with safely.
Then one day, he decided while you are tied up to bring his friend in to play with you without your permission or knowledge? Is that rape?


Yes, it is. You never consented and were not in a position to consent. If you were gagged and couldn't tell him no, even more so.

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: punishment...but we havent met - 7/9/2012 4:56:27 PM   
daddeesgurl1


Posts: 10
Joined: 6/27/2012
Status: offline 		No there were no other commands up to this point.....come on it had only ben 10 days, we were just gettin to know one another. And as far as being 'damaged' that's not wat I mean......just most guys do not like emailing for any length of time. Most....not all!

(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: punishment...but we havent met - 7/9/2012 5:20:38 PM   
JanahX


Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub



The fact that he even brought them, without my having said I would go for that would be one damn good reason for him to never untie me, because I would come out fighting. I hope I would have the self control to fight by calling the authorities, but, I might just kick him in the nuts.








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The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.


(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: punishment...but we havent met - 7/10/2012 2:30:26 AM   
FrankAr


Posts: 817
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

At a much more pragmatic level, I often wonder if anyone ever stops to think WHY they would accept a command from someone and why, if failing at that command, they would accept correction. For me, the answers to those questions involve a lot more than who chose what label in a profile screen.


This is a good point. I think it becomes more radical if they are only online. The essence and purity of being with the other person in a physical way majorly outweighs any substance of being online.

Having the label means nothing in my eyes. The pure way of that person and how they approach their lives defines what they are. Only unless you know the person inside and outside the life, then if they want to title themselves, well you would understand it.


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I am just me, simple ol me.

Even the softest whisper can be heard in the loudest group....Frank H.

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 60
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