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ORIGINAL: SongofSirens

I think everyone needs a questionare they hand out in the beginning of relationships before you EVEN think about pursuing something. I dont care how cute they are or hot or smart or witty or loaded. Once you get involved its really easy to fool yourself because you want too.

If they cant hit on the minimum needs, move onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. Those minimum needs become HUGE later, you cant over look them for long. and if you do you become unhealthy, the longer it goes on the more unhealthy. If someone is not a good match, doesnt matter how bad you want the match, it makes you unhappy or it did me.

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ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt

Good on you for walking away without an explanation. Since he can't be arsed to answer your question, you needn't be arsed to explain your absence.

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ORIGINAL: littlewonder

OOORR....here's a new way to do it that works....it does, really. I have a secret to tell you...wanna know what it is?????

Date

Yeah, you heard me....date. Remember that old fashioned idea of going out, talking, having fun together, talking some more, finding out new things about each other by listening and asking and telling about each other??? You know, that crazy idea that one should get to know someone first????

I know...stupid huh? But it works. I am testimonial. I promise.

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ORIGINAL: sheisreeds

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ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt

Good on you for walking away without an explanation. Since he can't be arsed to answer your question, you needn't be arsed to explain your absence.

Except she managed to get in and out of the relationship without ever stating her expectations or needs.

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

OOORR....here's a new way to do it that works....it does, really. I have a secret to tell you...wanna know what it is?????

Date

Yeah, you heard me....date. Remember that old fashioned idea of going out, talking, having fun together, talking some more, finding out new things about each other by listening and asking and telling about each other??? You know, that crazy idea that one should get to know someone first????

I know...stupid huh? But it works. I am testimonial. I promise.

Me too, but, I bet you were smart about it and while being demure at those first meetings, still managed to ask important questions and observe enough to know your feelings were in the right place. You also seem to have more than a bit of emotional intelligence.

This chica has got some work to do on that front.

Also I think she's gotta pay attention to more than "basic" needs.

Also makes me wonder if she is confusing being submissive with not getting her needs met.

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You really cant make valid assessments until you actually know the information. So if You dont know it just make it up!