RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? (Full Version)

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LillyBoPeep -> RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? (7/31/2012 6:42:20 AM)

Age and newness - no effect there either. Brattig is popular among older and younger. So is bitchiness and abrasive behavior. Where I live, a lot of the bratty, abvrasive personalities are 35 and up - nnot sure when the maturity is going to sink in. :p

Age really has very little to do with these things; it's a matter of an individual's personality, not a condition of chronology. I have rarely met the kind of maturity I used to expect from older people (men and women, D and s alike) in the BDSM world.



LolaLita -> RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? (7/31/2012 6:45:47 AM)

I'm certain that simply rolling over and showing your soft underbelly
is not a rule written in stone.



LolaLita -> RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? (7/31/2012 6:50:58 AM)

Also, this, LillyBoPeep ^^

I agree, it is not just limited to younger submissives. And, some men enjoy the excitement of a LITTLE bit of brattines, sometimes. Not every D/s relationship must involve the exact same dynamic and element.

Although, maybe its my immaturity and youth that is making me question this invisible law?



kalikshama -> RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? (7/31/2012 6:55:57 AM)

Some of the men I've met online (but never took the next step to meet in person) seem to be drawn to BDSM because they think it will be easier than a vanilla relationship. They want all of the benefits, but none of the responsibilities.

I've been told I'd have more luck if I "dumb it down" O_o

But I'm holding out for someone with crazyml's POV:

quote:

I'm moderately intelligent myself, and on the basis that a relationship involves a host of things outside out-and-out kink would prefer to have a relationship with someone I felt was my peer.





GreedyTop -> RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? (7/31/2012 6:58:54 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LolaLita

Also, this, LillyBoPeep ^^

I agree, it is not just limited to younger submissives. And, some men enjoy the excitement of a LITTLE bit of brattines, sometimes. Not every D/s relationship must involve the exact same dynamic and element.
Although, maybe its my immaturity and youth that is making me question this invisible law?



Which from what I have read of this thread (granted, I am tired and need to go to sleep soon - damned work schedule) is the gist of what most have been saying.



LillyBoPeep -> RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? (7/31/2012 7:00:58 AM)

Ahh gotta love crazyml :p hooray !



LaTigresse -> RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? (7/31/2012 7:04:02 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LolaLita

Also, this, LillyBoPeep ^^

I agree, it is not just limited to younger submissives. And, some men enjoy the excitement of a LITTLE bit of brattines, sometimes. Not every D/s relationship must involve the exact same dynamic and element.

Although, maybe its my immaturity and youth that is making me question this invisible law?


I have a question.

Are we discussing brattiness OR a strong personality? And if it is option B, what exactly do you mean by a 'strong personality'?



Greta75 -> RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? (7/31/2012 7:11:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

Some of the men I've met online (but never took the next step to meet in person) seem to be drawn to BDSM because they think it will be easier than a vanilla relationship. They want all of the benefits, but none of the responsibilities.

Yea, there seem to be alot of those "When I say jump, you jump!" types in here. And if you don't jump, they are like, "WTF, and you call yourself a submissive??" Ppfffttt!!!
Like a submissive is suppose to submit to everybody who calls themselves dom or master.



OsideGirl -> RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? (7/31/2012 7:23:36 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

Some of the men I've met online (but never took the next step to meet in person) seem to be drawn to BDSM because they think it will be easier than a vanilla relationship. They want all of the benefits, but none of the responsibilities.
Or they're using D/s to compensate for some other issue. I've seen a fair amount of people that have labeled themselves as Dom/mes, not because they're dominant, but because they're insecure and it's their way to compensate. These are the types that end up being domineering rather than dominant.


quote:


I've been told I'd have more luck if I "dumb it down" O_o
Yeah, I have been told that in the past as well.

I'm pretty alpha. What it takes for me to submit is finding someone that I view as higher on the totem pole than I am. Because of that most "Doms" do not view me as submissive. They like to place the blame on the submissive (You're not a real submissive! ), when really it's just that they don't come across as dominant to me.

Master once said: You can't have a power exchange if you don't have any power to exchange.

Someone out there will appreciate what you bring to the table, so really I wouldn't worry about the guys that try to make your intelligence and strength into a detriment.



LaTigresse -> RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? (7/31/2012 7:28:24 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

Some of the men I've met online (but never took the next step to meet in person) seem to be drawn to BDSM because they think it will be easier than a vanilla relationship. They want all of the benefits, but none of the responsibilities.

Yea, there seem to be alot of those "When I say jump, you jump!" types in here. And if you don't jump, they are like, "WTF, and you call yourself a submissive??" Ppfffttt!!!
Like a submissive is suppose to submit to everybody who calls themselves dom or master.



I believe you may be confusing the forums with the other side.



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? (7/31/2012 7:29:25 AM)

This (TY kalikshama!):

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

Some of the men I've met online (but never took the next step to meet in person) seem to be drawn to BDSM because they think it will be easier than a vanilla relationship. They want all of the benefits, but none of the responsibilities.

I've been told I'd have more luck if I "dumb it down" O_o

But I'm holding out for someone with crazyml's POV:

quote:

I'm moderately intelligent myself, and on the basis that a relationship involves a host of things outside out-and-out kink would prefer to have a relationship with someone I felt was my peer.





Back when I was looking, I was often asked: "Are you *sure* you're submissive?"

LOL, well, yeah I am -- for the right person.

[sm=applause.gif]

Nice to see you posting again, Lilly !! You have been missed !



RemoteUser -> RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? (7/31/2012 7:56:48 AM)

I like smart. Arbitrary is fine. It's what happens at the end of the day.

At that is one of the many reasons why I love my girl.



crazyml -> RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? (7/31/2012 8:03:46 AM)

Thank-you LBP!

And nice to see you here.




crazyml -> RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? (7/31/2012 8:08:56 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

I've been told I'd have more luck if I "dumb it down" O_o


What they mean is that the Dom men who are intimidated by you will have more luck if you dumb it down, you might have to put up with a certain amount of tedium though ;-)



mnottertail -> RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? (7/31/2012 8:14:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

Some of the men I've met online (but never took the next step to meet in person) seem to be drawn to BDSM because they think it will be easier than a vanilla relationship. They want all of the benefits, but none of the responsibilities.

I've been told I'd have more luck if I "dumb it down" O_o



Or you could smarten the fuck up.   You are a stupid enough bitch for me, course I ain't even your average motherfucker.

Race by the old farmstead sometime. 



Greta75 -> RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? (7/31/2012 8:17:51 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

Some of the men I've met online (but never took the next step to meet in person) seem to be drawn to BDSM because they think it will be easier than a vanilla relationship. They want all of the benefits, but none of the responsibilities.

Yea, there seem to be alot of those "When I say jump, you jump!" types in here. And if you don't jump, they are like, "WTF, and you call yourself a submissive??" Ppfffttt!!!
Like a submissive is suppose to submit to everybody who calls themselves dom or master.



I believe you may be confusing the forums with the other side.

When I say "in here", I meant "collarme". This forum clearly has some very rational doms.



DesFIP -> RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? (7/31/2012 8:23:48 AM)

I'm not sure how someone whose profile says she submits to everyone and compares herself to a stray pup can at the same time be a strong and challenging sub to one.

What you see as condescension we see as the same old, same old. I don't know how many barely legals have been here claiming they are decades more mature than their chronological age. From where I sit, that's never been true. You come across as highly defensive.

You know more at 19 than you did at 9. At 29 you will be amazed how naive your 19 year old self appears. At 49 you will laugh at the the things you said at 29 thinking you knew it all.



KnightofMists -> RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? (7/31/2012 8:47:08 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LolaLita

Let's say that you (the Master) have met a rather...strong-minded "potential" sub. Would his or her personality be too overwhelming, even if they were more than willing to submit to you? Is there really a such thing as a "bad submissive"?

I have been told that an intelligent, independent submissive woman is the "perfect" type. Why then, do so many run away when faced with such a person?


A strong mind? What exactly does that mean? There are so many possible ways that can go which makes it hard to give any appropriate answer. As in understand a strong mind and will it is an admirable character trait to have for any individual. However as I see how some define a strong mind and will it is far from what I would want in a person I associate with let alone my submissive or slave.

Secondly, why do think they are running away because they are faced with such a person? Could it be they are going in the other direction because of other reasons?



UllrsIshtar -> RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? (7/31/2012 9:17:40 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

You know more at 19 than you did at 9. At 29 you will be amazed how naive your 19 year old self appears. At 49 you will laugh at the the things you said at 29 thinking you knew it all.


I guess I'm still 19 then, because I'm nearing 29 now and I don't feel like that much has changed.

I also think that most 19 year old who claim to be mature aren't comparing themselves to their own 29 year old self, but are comparing themselves to their 19 year old peers instead.



GreedyTop -> RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? (7/31/2012 9:29:43 AM)

granted, Ishtarr, but many will remember their OWN 19/29 etc yr old selves and laugh their ases off at what they THOUGHT they knew then, and DO know now.. and anticipate what they will know in the future compared to what these kids are getting all wonky about NOW.

Seriously...what you FEEL like now has nothing to do wth what you DO know now, in that 10 yr span. If you say otherwise, I will happily call BULLSHIT, unless you admit you are a clueless twat that has no capability to mature.



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