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Endivius -> RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? (7/31/2012 9:48:24 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LolaLita
Let's say that you (the Master) have met a rather...strong-minded "potential" sub. Would his or her personality be too overwhelming, even if they were more than willing to submit to you? Is there really a such thing as a "bad submissive"?
I have been told that an intelligent, independent submissive woman is the "perfect" type. Why then, do so many run away when faced with such a person?
Based on what has already been touched on by others, what you are communicating is rather open ended. We need you to clarify to give you a more thorough and thoughtfull response for you to mull over.
About being a bad submissive : I believe there is such a thing. But, I equate that to communication, trust, and leadership. It is more likely to be the fault of the Dominant than the submissive when things go awry in the relationship. That is not to say that it is exclusively the Dom(me)'s fault. Rather, often the problem is a lack of clear communication, consistency, and trust between them, which leads to a myriad of other pitfalls. Certaily, there are times when a submissive will misbehave, or do things that are directly intended to sabotage a relationship no matter what the D does. These are usually unstable people with a mental disorder. There is no blue print for what is right. There is only what works and what does not for the people involved. Sometimes everything clicks and fires on all cylanders, and sometimes it simply doesn't work out. Period. There are also those who think they know what they want, and really don't. They usually get thier interests peaked by watching porn or reading erotica. But once they find themselves blindfolded and tied to a bed they change thier mind. The fantasy is never the same as the reality.
I personally love women with strong personalities. I'm attracted to bold women. It makes the dominance more fullfilling and rewarding to me. However, I'm not everyone. Each of us has our own quirks and desires, so what is grand to me will not be to others. As to why people run, very often it has been my experience, that D types often believe (particularly men) that a submissive should drop and perform some kind of sexual act simply because they are submissive. Wich is fucking stupid. When they realize that the target audience isn't some doormat, they take to the hills because they either lack confidence, social skills, or fear confrontation. These are usually the same people that prefer online D/s exploration to real life. And then there are the total nut jobs, who simply have no idea how to interact with the rest of society.
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