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RE: What makes you obey? - 8/9/2012 3:20:56 PM   
Lucifyre


Posts: 1067
Joined: 3/27/2012
Status: offline 		I'd like to say that I obey bcause that's what was in our wedding vows. However, we intentionally took OUT the word "obey" for our wedding day because we had not discovered D/s and our dynamic yet and that was not the type of people we were. We had this goofy notion in our heads that everything eeded to be equal between us and it would all work out fine and dandy.
Then one day, about a year and a half after we had said our wedding vows, the gifts had all been used up or put away...He stumbled across a guy he worked with that picked up on some key words during a conversation they were having and that guy said to Him "Hey you and your wife might want to check out this monthly meeting thing we have"
To this day I regret omitting the word obey from my side of the vows because of course hindsight being 20/20 I now know that it belonged there....at least me saying it.

I obey Him because he is the love of my life and He is everything to me. I obey Him because it makes Him happy. I obey Him because it feels oh ever so damned good to know that I have the ability to NOT obey Him but because of the way I feel about Him I *want* to obey.
There are no consequences for me choosing not to obey. The dynamic might change, but I doubt by much. We are who we are and live our lives this way because it's what we want in our relationship and it makes us both happy.

Lucifyre

p.s. Now if He were to answer this question from His side ....it would be more like

"She obeys because I said so"

LOL

< Message edited by Lucifyre -- 8/9/2012 3:21:41 PM >

_____________________________

"Batteries? OMG, Bitch Please! My Shit plugs in!"
I do this because it fucking feels good.
I like girls who like girls
The thing about standards is: There are SO many to choose from.

(in reply to Karnikula)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: What makes you obey? - 8/9/2012 3:36:19 PM   
Winterapple


Posts: 1343
Joined: 8/19/2011
Status: offline 		FR
Because it's mutually satisfying.

There will always be a mysterious
element in why we are drawn to the
people we are drawn to, spark with
the people we spark with.
Every relationship has it's own recipe
and it's own secret ingredient(s).
These mysteries and secrets are
beyond science, data and statistics.
Sorry, Horatio.

_____________________________

A thousand dreams within me softly burn.
Rimbaud




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RE: What makes you obey? - 8/9/2012 4:05:48 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Karnikula

I've never been known to ask simple questions.

Edit: If D-type: what makes your s-type obey ?
Edit#2: WHY do you / does your s-type obey ?



I don't think I know how not to obey, ...if he's the right man.

(in reply to Karnikula)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: What makes you obey? - 8/9/2012 4:26:32 PM   
KillerKitten


Posts: 30
Joined: 2/11/2009
From: United States
Status: offline 		I obey because it makes me feel good, because I know that it empowers us both, because he knows better than me about a lot of things, because I love him and know that he's looking out for me and loves me, and because I get punished if I misbehave :)

We spent a lot of our relationship pretty vanilla, and I misbehaved because I was told that I should never let a man make my decisions/control my life, and that I should be trying to control him or he wouldnt love me. Wow, even vanilla women can be very psychologically manipulative...
I finally learned that I am infinitely more happy/calm/stable when I behave and I feel so good giving him everything I can! He is way less stressed because he isnt fighting me about even the simple things. Its just all around better for both of us now that we have just accepted that the D/s relationship is what we really needed.



_____________________________

Sorry if there is offense by my lack of "correct M/s punctuation, etc". I realize that many do this, and that is fine, to each their own.


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RE: What makes you obey? - 8/9/2012 4:30:24 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline 		I obey because I want to.
I'm a rare breed in the BDSM scene as far as full-time non-play-only dynamics go, because I only obey if and when I feel like it.
I've never agreed to obey in our dynamic (not even in wedding vows) so I don't have to if I don't want to.

He's got card blanch to do whatever he wants.
He also tends to enjoy it when I obey, so he usually creates an atmosphere in which obeying is more pleasant for me than disobeying is, which in turn tends to make me want to obey.

However, he's got times when he doesn't care about my obedience, or doesn't feel like enforcing it. At those times, he doesn't tend to give me any orders at all, which makes that there really isn't anything much but the daily expectations for me to obey to.
In those instances, I revert back to doing whatever the hell I want, which means that the standing rules and daily expectations may or may not be met at all, which usually still depends on his mood and the reasons he had for not enforcing my obedience that day. (As in, it much more likely that what he wants still gets done if he's not being Dom-y because he's sick or stress than it if the reason he's not being Dom-y is because he's feeling more vanilla-y that day.)

So I guess in the end whether or not I obey depends on the collaboration of our joint moods at the time. And when I do obey, it's because that's what we're in the mood for.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

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RE: What makes you obey? - 8/9/2012 5:03:56 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

She obeys because it pleases me.


Like he said, it pleases him. Plus I'm a submissive personality and I am submissive to people who I feel are dominant over me and when it will make my life easier. Also, I love and adore him so why would I NOT obey him?


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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RE: What makes you obey? - 8/9/2012 5:29:27 PM   
Karnikula


Posts: 55
Joined: 7/21/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko


I don't think I know how not to obey, ...if he's the right man.


What constitues a right man?

Edit: Thank you all for your thoughtful and kind answers.

< Message edited by Karnikula -- 8/9/2012 5:31:40 PM >

_____________________________

People are like puzzle pieces that are puzzles.

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RE: What makes you obey? - 8/9/2012 5:32:43 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
I obey because I want to.
I'm a rare breed in the BDSM scene as far as full-time non-play-only dynamics go, because I only obey if and when I feel like it.
I've never agreed to obey in our dynamic (not even in wedding vows) so I don't have to if I don't want to.

You're not alone in this. Carol and I don't do "D/s by agreement" either. We treat it more as you do in the transactional sense. I never asked Carol to obey. She never agreed to it. I wouldn't want that even if she had. About the only thing looming over Carol's head on this vein is that I don't really want to be whipped around playing some game with her. So if she decides to not obey I'm fine with that but I may not choose to command her further.

quote:

So I guess in the end whether or not I obey depends on the collaboration of our joint moods at the time. And when I do obey, it's because that's what we're in the mood for.

This would accurately summarize how it works for us. I think of it as the actual interaction between my personality and hers in that particular moment and how it comes out is... well... how it comes out... no agreements needed.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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RE: What makes you obey? - 8/9/2012 5:47:52 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Karnikula

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko


I don't think I know how not to obey, ...if he's the right man.


What constitues a right man?




Would it be cheating to say that the right man is the man I feel compelled to obey?

(in reply to Karnikula)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: What makes you obey? - 8/9/2012 5:52:23 PM   
Lucifyre


Posts: 1067
Joined: 3/27/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

I obey because I want to.
I'm a rare breed in the BDSM scene as far as full-time non-play-only dynamics go, because I only obey if and when I feel like it.
I've never agreed to obey in our dynamic (not even in wedding vows) so I don't have to if I don't want to.


Note I said we ommitted them LOL


quote:


He's got card blanch to do whatever he wants.
He also tends to enjoy it when I obey, so he usually creates an atmosphere in which obeying is more pleasant for me than disobeying is, which in turn tends to make me want to obey.


Mr does too on both above notes...however...

quote:


However, he's got times when he doesn't care about my obedience, or doesn't feel like enforcing it. At those times, he doesn't tend to give me any orders at all, which makes that there really isn't anything much but the daily expectations for me to obey to.
In those instances, I revert back to doing whatever the hell I want, which means that the standing rules and daily expectations may or may not be met at all, which usually still depends on his mood and the reasons he had for not enforcing my obedience that day. (As in, it much more likely that what he wants still gets done if he's not being Dom-y because he's sick or stress than it if the reason he's not being Dom-y is because he's feeling more vanilla-y that day.)



This also holds true for us, especially lately. It's a bit frustrating for me on the /s end of it though because while I appreciate that He is "giving me a break" so to speak, I am in need of a bit more consistancy from Him. However considering what we have going on atm (my upcoming surgery on Monday) it jst doesn't make sense for me to push for it. Plus the shorty isn't back to school yet so our time is rediculously limited.
In a few weeks I have a feeling things will get back in order though, so I am just going to keep moving forward and et things happen as they are for now without trippin about it.

quote:


So I guess in the end whether or not I obey depends on the collaboration of our joint moods at the time. And when I do obey, it's because that's what we're in the mood for.


Heh, I am ALWAYS in the mood for Him. He however reminds me lately that my moods don't dictate what we do LOL. (we might get arrested for sex in public if they did)

Lucifyre

_____________________________

"Batteries? OMG, Bitch Please! My Shit plugs in!"
I do this because it fucking feels good.
I like girls who like girls
The thing about standards is: There are SO many to choose from.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: What makes you obey? - 8/9/2012 7:25:13 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		Obedience is part of most D/s dynamics and I am His slave.

Unlike many M/s relationships per [my] Master's early instructions I have never given up the right to say "No."
(Without the ability to say "no", "Yes." has no real meaning.)

My obedience pleases [my] Master, and I love to please Him.

That makes obedience win-win! for us.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to Karnikula)
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RE: What makes you obey? - 8/9/2012 9:38:31 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		I am submissive, therefore, I obey.


Else, there would be little point to the relationship if I did not obey. 

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to Karnikula)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: What makes you obey? - 8/9/2012 9:54:18 PM   
BalletBob


Posts: 1645
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		It pleases me to obey too. If that what it take to make a Mistress happy, then that is what I do. Besides, I would rather have a Mistress to obey, and make happy, than none at all.

Looking to Obey, sub BalletBob

_____________________________

"I get my kicks above the Waistline, Sunshine"

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RE: What makes you obey? - 8/9/2012 10:01:06 PM   
Alltiedup57


Posts: 27
Joined: 7/29/2012
Status: offline 		I just have a very strong desire to not only be obedient , but to make the other person happy.
It makes me feel incredible !!!

(in reply to BalletBob)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: What makes you obey? - 8/10/2012 1:45:04 AM   
RaspberryLemon


Posts: 422
Joined: 7/18/2011
Status: offline 		I obey my Master because it fulfills me to do so. I obey because I love him and respect him, and it is how I show my devotion and affection for him. I obey because it pleases him, which makes me happy. I obey because I know he loves me and has my (and our) best interests in mind. I obey because his assertive and dominant energy (power) compels me to follow his lead and authority. I obey because I have committed to do so for him, even when I don't feel like it.

Also, I really like this:
quote:

ORIGINAL: Winterapple
Every relationship has it's own recipe
and it's own secret ingredient(s).

(in reply to Karnikula)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: What makes you obey? - 8/10/2012 4:00:43 PM   
BambiBoi


Posts: 461
Joined: 8/10/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Karnikula


quote:

ORIGINAL: BambiBoi

Since you broaden the question, I broaden the answer.

Serotonin and Dopamine.


And what in obeying creates those dinosaurs ?
What makes you think or feel "oh I want to obey to get my dinosaurs" ?


In part, I think I enjoy the sweet release from having to make decisions about what is best. A D-type makes it very clear: "bring me that toy." For a moment I receive respite from having to wonder. Is it the right toy? Will it be awkward if I introduce this toy? Will this toy hurt my bottom? What color toy should we play with today? Where did I put my toy? Would using this toy make me happy? Would my bottom like this toy? Should I but better toys? Will this toy work well on my bottom? Is this toy too rough for my bottom? Too big? Too sharp? How am I going to get the desired effect out of this toy? Am I going to tease or go straight for the goodies? etc.

_____________________________

<3

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RE: What makes you obey? - 8/10/2012 4:27:21 PM   
pyschosubmission


Posts: 1109
Joined: 7/6/2012
From: Glasgow, Scotland
Status: offline 		Equal parts spiritual need and love.

Both of which tie into each other, this is only my opinion, possibly people will whole heartedly disagree but I find it is a tangible way of expressing such an intangible concept such as love.

Instead of simply my words expressing my love for someone, my actions can to, and I feel I have a deep spiritual need to do just that.

_____________________________

Comedian, kinkster, all round malingerer

Lord Pish of Talkingshite
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(in reply to Karnikula)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: What makes you obey? - 8/10/2012 9:16:25 PM   
samdarella


Posts: 222
Joined: 8/23/2010
Status: offline 		I obey for many reasons. Which confused me at first. I had read that in the pure sense of the word a slave obeys simply because they are a slave. That to reach that point of self actualization that they must be selfless and only consider their masters happiness. Yet I have motives that are self serving even though they also serve Him. So I questioned myself a lot and thought I wasn't a slave. After a lot of thinking about it and reading and talking I accepted that as a thinking human, self interest can never be completely eliminated. So I obey because He requires it from His slave. And I want to be His slave. I obey because it pleases Him and that makes me happy. Hearing the words "good girl" makes me feel warm and fuzzy all over. I obey because the thought that I have disappointed Him would distress the hell out of me. I obey because I love Him. I obey because I trust Him. I obey because He is more experienced and knowledgable in so many ways. I obey because sometimes it is pure bliss to be free of the responsibility of making a decision. I obey out of love and devotion. As an extra added bonus He rewards obedience very well.

_____________________________

Take me to the edge.

Pain is....

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RE: What makes you obey? - 8/10/2012 9:34:29 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		Obeying is my natural response in an intimate relationship. It's who I am. I wouldn't be true to myself if I didn't obey him. I would be denying both of us who I am.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to Karnikula)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: What makes you obey? - 8/10/2012 9:40:11 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		@kaliko
I don't think I know how not to obey, ...if he's the right man.
Would it be cheating to say that the right man is the man I feel compelled to obey?

LOL... pretty much how I would say it for Carol and I.

@RaspberryLemon
I obey my Master because it fulfills me to do so. I obey because I love him and respect him, and it is how I show my devotion and affection for him. I obey because it pleases him, which makes me happy. I obey because I know he loves me and has my (and our) best interests in mind.
Now this one really caught my eye because it's pretty much how Carol would answer. But what I found really intriguing about it is that it's also how I would answer. Yup, I obey Carol. I do so for all the same reasons you listed. Carol all the time gives me commands... granted, there's no real expectation of obedience but they do come out in simple declarative statements like, "Go fetch the pot roast from the oven." I'd go get the pot roast because:

It fulfills me to please Carol.
I love and respect Carol.
Being attentive to such things is one way I show my devotion and affection to her.
Pleasing Carol pleases me.
And I don't want a freakin burnt pot roast and if she didn't go get it herself there was a good reason for it.

The only place it gets different is when you talked about dominant energy and power. When she tells me to go get the pot roast it lacks that which means it's not really carrying any authority. But still... she tells me to do stuff and I do... for most of those same reasons.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Kaliko)
Profile   Post #: 40
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