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RE: What makes you obey? - 8/10/2012 10:56:41 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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quote:

The only place it gets different is when you talked about dominant energy and power. When she tells me to go get the pot roast it lacks that which means it's not really carrying any authority. But still... she tells me to do stuff and I do... for most of those same reasons.

We make this way easy in our relationship so there is no misunderstanding the authority. I don't tell him to fetch the post roast. I ask him. If I was to tell him he would probably still do it but he would chastise me for telling instead of asking. Yeah, it may be nitpicking. I just thought it was kinda something that hit here at home. I can remember a couple times when I was still new to him and I told him to do something and I got a lecture about it lol.

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Post #: 41

RE: What makes you obey? - 8/10/2012 11:23:19 PM

JeffBC

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From: Canada
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I think I gave Carol some of those same lectures early on. That was back when I was still remolding her to be my slave and so this sort of nitpicky guidance was actually useful. Once the roles settled in (for both of us) it just became bothersome.

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Post #: 42

RE: What makes you obey? - 8/11/2012 4:12:42 AM

ARIES83

Posts: 3648
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Karnikula

I've never been known to ask simple questions.

Edit: If D-type: what makes your s-type obey ?
Edit#2: WHY do you / does your s-type obey ?

I would hope a subbie would obey me out of
trust, love and respect, rather than fear of
discipline.

I think discipline is an essential aspect though,
not in the actual action of disciplining. More that
the clearly defined and consistently enforced
structure in a relationship brings out the best in
both parties IMO.

Yes there are some people who don't deserve to
be in a power exchange relationship but from my
point of view, being in charge or being the leader
can also inspire a person to be the best they can
be for those who depend on them.

There are so many aspects at play in a my D/s
relationships and most of them are really
complicated emotional things that arn't easy
for me to describe concisely.

Mainly I hope I'm looked up to and obeyed
because I deserve it.

-ARIES

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Post #: 43

RE: What makes you obey? - 8/11/2012 5:29:58 AM

phoenixmoonn13

Posts: 398
Joined: 6/11/2010
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i obey because ummm well its me but only if its with the right person and i am with the right person i love and trust him deeply as he does me. his dominance also gives me the warm fuzzy feeling that makes the obeying even more delicious

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Post #: 44

RE: What makes you obey? - 8/11/2012 7:38:31 AM

sunshinemiss

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With the right person it makes my panties wet.

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Post #: 45

RE: What makes you obey? - 8/11/2012 8:16:20 AM

RaspberryLemon

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Joined: 7/18/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

@RaspberryLemon
I obey my Master because it fulfills me to do so. I obey because I love him and respect him, and it is how I show my devotion and affection for him. I obey because it pleases him, which makes me happy. I obey because I know he loves me and has my (and our) best interests in mind.
Now this one really caught my eye because it's pretty much how Carol would answer. But what I found really intriguing about it is that it's also how I would answer. Yup, I obey Carol. I do so for all the same reasons you listed. Carol all the time gives me commands... granted, there's no real expectation of obedience but they do come out in simple declarative statements like, "Go fetch the pot roast from the oven." I'd go get the pot roast because:

It fulfills me to please Carol.
I love and respect Carol.
Being attentive to such things is one way I show my devotion and affection to her.
Pleasing Carol pleases me.
And I don't want a freakin burnt pot roast and if she didn't go get it herself there was a good reason for it.

The only place it gets different is when you talked about dominant energy and power. When she tells me to go get the pot roast it lacks that which means it's not really carrying any authority. But still... she tells me to do stuff and I do... for most of those same reasons.

My Master will do things for me when I ask/tell him to (usually I naturally phrase them as requests, but either way) as well. His reasoning for doing so is pretty close to what I posted, if I think about it. Of course, excluding the dominant energy and power part (and neither is there any expectation or requirement that he comply,) but. He does things for me upon my request all the time, because well...he likes to make happy, because he loves me.

But the addition of the one-way dominant energy and power/authority does, I think, change the mindset behind it drastically: From my perspective, when I comply with something he asks me to do, I'm obeying my Master. From his perspective, when he complies with something I ask him to do, he is taking care of his property. Both stem out of love and respect, but yet that single difference completely differentiates the feelings behind it.

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Post #: 46

RE: What makes you obey? - 8/12/2012 11:59:51 AM

experiment2

Posts: 208
Joined: 11/7/2007
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the simple answer perhaps too simple is because i want to obey.

to be a little more detailed, the reason i would submit to a Domme is because by accepting her control i hope to continue in the Domme/s relationship. since the relationship is voluntary and beneficial for both, i must obey for it to be successful. this continuence is what i find pleasurable. the obeying is a means to the goal.

(in reply to RaspberryLemon)

Post #: 47

RE: What makes you obey? - 8/12/2012 12:35:34 PM

Karmastic

Posts: 1650
Joined: 4/5/2012
From: Los Angeles
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Karnikula

I've never been known to ask simple questions.

Edit: If D-type: what makes your s-type obey ?
Edit#2: WHY do you / does your s-type obey ?

i'm a "D" type.

i honestly can only speculate on why people obey. i think most humans are sheep that need to be led. history backs me up on this point. speaking more personally, i think mine have obeyed because they knew i always have their best interests at heart, always. I'll die for them.

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Post #: 48

RE: What makes you obey? - 8/13/2012 10:33:04 AM

Karnikula

Posts: 55
Joined: 7/21/2012
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Thank you all for your great answers ! Lots of information and things to think about.

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Post #: 49

RE: What makes you obey? - 11/13/2012 3:38:54 PM

mikeyOfGeorgia

Posts: 451
Joined: 3/8/2009
Status: offline

quote:

What makes you obey?

depends on the situation and what's being asked to be done.

there are some things that, no matter the threat of punishment (or the actual punishment itself) i will NEVER do...EVER.

LOL

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Post #: 50

RE: What makes you obey? - 11/13/2012 6:36:53 PM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
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Because you really love someone and you crave for his approval.

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Post #: 51

RE: What makes you obey? - 11/13/2012 9:59:20 PM

artemiss

Posts: 88
Joined: 10/23/2007
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Nothing "makes" me obey. It is a conscious decision driven by my fulfillment in pleasing him.

(in reply to Karnikula)

Post #: 52

RE: What makes you obey? - 11/13/2012 11:01:42 PM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline

fast reply

I obey because that's what makes the smiles in our relationship. If there comes a time when this dynamic is no longer making one or both of us happy, we will stop. It seems to be the natural way that we relate to each other best, but it isn't essential. Obedience is a choice for me.

I obey because he's a worthy leader. Because I know his decisions are well thought out and sensible, I can rely on his word, he has my best interests at heart, and is in control. He is smart and trustworthy and assertive without being a knob. He's given me no reason not to obey.

And I obey because it makes us both horny. There's just that tiny current of electricity running through our daily interactions.

Why am I the type of person who works this way? Who knows. Brains are weird, huh?

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Post #: 53

RE: What makes you obey? - 11/13/2012 11:09:59 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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I obey just because he knows better than me. He know more about most stuff than I do. Plus I hate having to make decisions. Easier for him to just tell me to do something and I get to just go and do it without having to second guess or wonder. I don't have to think.

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Post #: 54

RE: What makes you obey? - 11/13/2012 11:29:40 PM

dublinemma

Posts: 57
Joined: 9/10/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I obey just because he knows better than me. He know more about most stuff than I do. Plus I hate having to make decisions. Easier for him to just tell me to do something and I get to just go and do it without having to second guess or wonder. I don't have to think.

My thoughts exactly! Being able to switch off your mind and just do what they say is the most calming, relaxing feeling in the world.

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Post #: 55

RE: What makes you obey? - 11/13/2012 11:41:16 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dublinemma

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I obey just because he knows better than me. He know more about most stuff than I do. Plus I hate having to make decisions. Easier for him to just tell me to do something and I get to just go and do it without having to second guess or wonder. I don't have to think.

My thoughts exactly! Being able to switch off your mind and just do what they say is the most calming, relaxing feeling in the world.

Yes it is! I get to actually relax for once in my life.

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Post #: 56

RE: What makes you obey? - 11/13/2012 11:48:55 PM

dublinemma

Posts: 57
Joined: 9/10/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

quote:

ORIGINAL: dublinemma

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I obey just because he knows better than me. He know more about most stuff than I do. Plus I hate having to make decisions. Easier for him to just tell me to do something and I get to just go and do it without having to second guess or wonder. I don't have to think.

My thoughts exactly! Being able to switch off your mind and just do what they say is the most calming, relaxing feeling in the world.

Yes it is! I get to actually relax for once in my life.

Do you suffer from anxiety as well littlewonder? And if I'm being too intrusive, please ignore me!

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Post #: 57

RE: What makes you obey? - 11/14/2012 5:07:15 AM

chatterbox24

Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline

intense attraction and respect.

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My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

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Post #: 58

RE: What makes you obey? - 11/14/2012 6:47:50 AM

Salinedion

Posts: 198
Joined: 5/25/2012
Status: offline

Why do I "obey" stop signs?

Because I recognize stop signs as legitimate authority. I think it's great that the gov. has placed these good things here and there to stop chaos at intersections.

Why do I not "obey" Pat Robertson?

Because he talks a lot of shit and is an evil chump. If I get on the 700 Club train, I'm going to be miserable, stupid, and broke. Nope, no legitimate authority there.

So in our deal, her obedience makes her life functional and happy.

If it were a top down, dictatorial Pat Robinson-thing, common sense and self interest would preclude it from happening. She often talks about the calm rightness of doing what I say. Of course, that has made me up my doing what I say-game.

Often, doing what I say is in her self-interest, even if it's not her first impulse. She's an over-giver. Now, that not only has a constructive, super-appreciative outlet instead of just endless enervation, but also a moderating off-switch. The hardest command for her to take is "lay down" when she's having a bad pain day.

But she has seen a huge uptick in her energy and well-being since handing over that authority to me. She also sees the dark lord boss taking up the life-slack after sending her to bed.

So "lay down" has been proven to be legitimate authority which works -just as she has discovered that submitting to a reddened ass first makes her come harder. She sexually obeys me because it ticks that all important 'what's in it for me?' box.

Obedience sells itself. If someone is over-selling it to you, it aint for real.

< Message edited by Salinedion -- 11/14/2012 6:50:30 AM >

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Post #: 59

RE: What makes you obey? - 11/14/2012 9:37:49 AM

masterketch

Posts: 15
Joined: 6/10/2008
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I've had subs confess that they obey because they are happy when they know they are being useful. Another insist that its part of the game and that she enjoys making the Dom happy very much which makes up for any unhappiness she might experience. Although she insisted she is never asked to do something to unpleasant.

(in reply to JeffBC)

Post #: 60

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