kalikshama
Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010 Status: offline
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FR, It's not just BDSM. http://www.sheawong.com/when-enough-is-not-enough-rene-walling-genevieve-valentine-and-readercon/#13449942291501&action=collapse_widget&id=5527064 Let me preface this by saying while I am a proud geek (sorry, Nick Mamatas), I don’t like cons. They’re loud, and cramped, and some rooms always smell like gym socks, and you have to stand in line for everything, and when I am at a hotel I want to sleep, not put up with adults who have regressed and are running up and down the halls throwing ice at each other. But I get that some people love them, and happily wait in sweltering heat with makeup running down their faces, just to meet the person who played the part of the character they are currently dressed as. Hell, a good friend of mine made Comic-Con his honeymoon destination; to each his own. But something I have found creepy about the few cons I have attended, and is without a doubt the reason I and many paying customers won’t go to them in the future, is the growing sense of safety-loss at conventions, or truly, wherever geeks gather in large numbers. And I don’t mean acts of terror, I mean acts of sexual harassment, and the culture that happily turns a blind eye to all of it. It’s a powder keg if you think about it. You have a large group of Gamma males (and some females as well) who recede into media that portrays women as overwhelmingly sexual/weak objects (seriously, the first time I saw a ‘mainstream’ comic female character who wasn’t stacked like a porn star or had to be saved every 30 seconds, she was dead. Literally. She was Death, from Gaiman’s Sandman), and then they go to a con where there are real life girls dressed as their favorite characters, and I don’t know what synapse misfires in their head, but they can’t seem to keep their comments or hands to themselves. And I don’t mean that every person who walks through a convention door suddenly becomes a rapist, but I do mean that in this regressed world, some guys (and girls) seem to forget the rules of society. Just for clarity, here are some: 1. I’m glad you like my outfit/tee shirt/bag/button. Me acknowledging your compliment is not an invitation for you to continue to talk to me. If your compliment is simply an ‘in’ to continue a conversation, it’s not a compliment, it’s a pick up line. I’m not here to hook up, I’m here to listen to panels/buy stuff/get stuff signed. Asking for a photo with me means me standing next to you, not you putting your arm around me. 2. If you would like to ask a question about my bag/button/tee shirt, ask the question. Do not assume you can simply touch something I am wearing without me slapping your hand away and loudly asking you what the fuck you think you are doing. 3. I’m sure after a long day on the con floor I look tired. However, unless I have specifically ordered a massage with my spa package and you are my physical therapist, your offer of a neckrub/backrub/massage will be met with a withering glare and a firm “no”. You putting your hands on me without my say so will be met with me kicking you very hard in the crotch, and you probably vomiting in pain. 4. Wolf whistles/sexual comments/anything of the sort: Are you kidding me? Grow the fuck up. 5. Open Source Boob Project? Piss. Off. 6. I can’t believe this even needs to be said, but if you in any way physically assault me (coming up behind me and wrapping arms around me, “accidentally” continuously bumping your gross crotch into me), we will both leave the con in handcuffs – you for charges of sexual intimidation/assault, and me for kicking your ass. Please note: This is not an exhaustive list. However, it does cover some of the major issues that women experience at cons. And if you think this list is mean, or harsh, or man hating, let me remind you: YOU CANNOT DO ANY OF THESE THINGS AT YOUR WORK/IN PUBLIC, YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND IF YOU THINK YOU CAN PULL THIS SHIT JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE DRESSED AS A FUCKING EWOK. Read more: http://www.sheawong.com/when-enough-is-not-enough-rene-walling-genevieve-valentine-and-readercon/#13449942291501&action=collapse_widget&id=5527064
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Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036
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