sunshinemiss
Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
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stages of courtship (from this website - easier to read rather than an academic article is)
Where the process reaches past the first stage, here broadly is how it is said by body language experts to unfold:
Eye contact (females typically lower or avert their eyes once firm contact is made).
Returned eye contact (by male).
Mutual smiling.
Preening, grooming, posturing (male and female).
Moving together as regards personal space (male typically walks to female).
Talking.
Attentive active listening (or simulation of this, sufficient mutually to retain sense of mutual interest).
Synchronizing/mirroring each other's body language.
Touching (more significantly by the female; subtle touching can happen earlier, and at this stage can become more intimate and daring).
Sorry... you flirt with someone and give them the signals and they up it one notch ONE NOTCH ... to me that is appropriate. You can then - as Constanze says - give the signal that touch is not acceptable. If you are giving all the signals, there is no way they can know that you are in fact lying. If they grope you, that's a different story. But a gentle touch when you are in the midst of a flirty conversation? Sorry, I'm going with the presumption that they are being positive and decent and they like me.
I am well acquainted with this particular topic from a cultural standpoint. I have lived in Latin cultures that are all about the touch - kissing hello and goodbye, dancing at the drop of a hat, holding hands as you walk along, a man's hand on my back to "steer" me. And now I live in Asia where touch has a completely different connotation and is not nearly as acceptable. (It's one of the few things I HATE about living here... somebody, PLEASE, touch me!) It's still done - in the same way listed above, but it is slower and less obvious.
Anyway, people touch. It's normal. It's healthy. It's NECESSARY. Children die without touch. We are social animals.
When someone says, "please don't touch me" or some such, THAT is to be respected. But heck, why would you be negotiating a scene with someone you didn't want to touch you? Mindboggling.
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Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14
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RE: Touching without permission - 
Profile
Generally, people aren't likely to get mad or hurt you if you accidentally brush against them in passing, or give them a hug, or some such.
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