RE: Too much hate for slim girlies.

RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. (Full Version)

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MercTech -> RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. (8/18/2012 9:09:55 AM)
Meh, hate for skinny women is a push back from decades of "you are not human if you aren't skinny" programming. For years no catalog models were used that was above a size 6 while the average, the center of the bell curve guys, size for women was 12-14. I've been a photographer for decades. I've known fashion photographers and learned a lot from some. But, to toss a clue, fashion models are referred to as "coathangers" in the industry. They are to show the drape, period. A bit of push back from the majority is rather understandable; even if snarky.

LaTigresse -> RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. (8/18/2012 9:53:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KaleidoKenlyn So, as of late, I've been noticing a lot of hate for skinny women. All over my Facebook, I've been seeing a lot of pictures of larger women and they're always captioned with "REAL women have curves" or "Curves are beautiful." It's not the pictures/captions that I have a big problem with (at least.. not for the most part). It's the comments that I see posted to those pics. And I see a lot of the same on this site as well. People have taken to calling slender women "disgusting" or "gross" or "a bag of bones." Anorexia and the evils of society will usually crop up in the discussion as well. Let me clarify something here. I'm not saying extremely underweight women are gorgeous. But I don't think extremely overweight women are either, though they are socially acceptable nowadays. People go on about how "society wants us all to be skinny." But really? At least in my area, slender women are a rare find. There's absolutely no shortage of larger women though. And, no. No one calls them fat. Skinny girl comes around though, and the eating disorder discussion will come right up. They are constantly teased about their lack of weight. Sure, in the modeling world, you're likely to see a majority of size 2's. But in every day life for most of them, slim women are practically shunned. People forget that they are real women, too. The majority of them work hard and eat right to keep their figures (not that I am one to diss anyone who enjoys the occasional Twinkie ^_^). The comments that get thrown around really, really bother me. These women have self-esteem issues just like the rest of us. We ALL have beautiful traits. And we ALL have something on our body that could be called "disgusting" by somebody out there. But NONE of us enjoy it. I am 5'6" and in my adult life I've been every where from 112# ( and I did look like a skeleton walking) to 235# or so, at my heaviest. I never want to be 112# again nor do I ever want to be 235# again. Or anywhere close to either. That being said, I had people tellling me I was hot stuff at both ends of the spectrum and everywhere inbetween. I am sure that there were people that also found me unappealing physicall, for some reason or other, at both 112#, 235#......and every pound inbetween. C'est la vie! Facts are......the media says thin is the way to be. It also says that the majority of our population is fat. Not just a few pounds overweight but FAT. Because the media tells us that fat is gross and this is the way to be AND that most of us are fat......well tadaaa! You have a recipe for lots of bashing. Self loathing is a mother fucker. If people didn't self loath the BBW thing would have never been created. Most generally, the greater percentage of skinny people find the physical appearance of fat people unappealing. Fat people fight that with phrases like BBW to combat their own self loathing and the fat bashing. Their own insecurities and self loathing creates skinny bashing. It's all the worst bits of human nature and I don't think it's ever going to go away.

MissToYouRedux -> RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. (8/18/2012 10:46:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KaleidoKenlyn ... Skinny girl comes around though, and the eating disorder discussion will come right up... Yes, for a family member the fact that people who would never think of telling someone that they're fat seem to think it's okay to tell her she must be sick because of her body size is the worst.

sexyred1 -> RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. (8/18/2012 10:48:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse quote: ORIGINAL: KaleidoKenlyn So, as of late, I've been noticing a lot of hate for skinny women. All over my Facebook, I've been seeing a lot of pictures of larger women and they're always captioned with "REAL women have curves" or "Curves are beautiful." It's not the pictures/captions that I have a big problem with (at least.. not for the most part). It's the comments that I see posted to those pics. And I see a lot of the same on this site as well. People have taken to calling slender women "disgusting" or "gross" or "a bag of bones." Anorexia and the evils of society will usually crop up in the discussion as well. Let me clarify something here. I'm not saying extremely underweight women are gorgeous. But I don't think extremely overweight women are either, though they are socially acceptable nowadays. People go on about how "society wants us all to be skinny." But really? At least in my area, slender women are a rare find. There's absolutely no shortage of larger women though. And, no. No one calls them fat. Skinny girl comes around though, and the eating disorder discussion will come right up. They are constantly teased about their lack of weight. Sure, in the modeling world, you're likely to see a majority of size 2's. But in every day life for most of them, slim women are practically shunned. People forget that they are real women, too. The majority of them work hard and eat right to keep their figures (not that I am one to diss anyone who enjoys the occasional Twinkie ^_^). The comments that get thrown around really, really bother me. These women have self-esteem issues just like the rest of us. We ALL have beautiful traits. And we ALL have something on our body that could be called "disgusting" by somebody out there. But NONE of us enjoy it. I am 5'6" and in my adult life I've been every where from 112# ( and I did look like a skeleton walking) to 235# or so, at my heaviest. I never want to be 112# again nor do I ever want to be 235# again. Or anywhere close to either. That being said, I had people tellling me I was hot stuff at both ends of the spectrum and everywhere inbetween. I am sure that there were people that also found me unappealing physicall, for some reason or other, at both 112#, 235#......and every pound inbetween. C'est la vie! Facts are......the media says thin is the way to be. It also says that the majority of our population is fat. Not just a few pounds overweight but FAT. Because the media tells us that fat is gross and this is the way to be AND that most of us are fat......well tadaaa! You have a recipe for lots of bashing. Self loathing is a mother fucker. If people didn't self loath the BBW thing would have never been created. Most generally, the greater percentage of skinny people find the physical appearance of fat people unappealing. Fat people fight that with phrases like BBW to combat their own self loathing and the fat bashing. Their own insecurities and self loathing creates skinny bashing. It's all the worst bits of human nature and I don't think it's ever going to go away. Sorry, LaT, not correct on any level. The fashion industry coined the phrase back in the day. I know, I was a plus size model. I like the term, maybe some people feel self loathing and don't see their beauty, but I think whatever you want to call yourself is fine with me.

NuevaVida -> RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. (8/18/2012 1:36:28 PM)
~ Fast Reply ~ I haven't been skin and bones skinny. I was a size 24 about 3 1/2 years ago, though, and I was dished a lot of shame for it, which I received and made my own, by the way. I already had esteem and self loathing issues (and never used the term BBW btw, because I didn't see myself as beautiful), and the way I was looked at and treated was very....well I can't find a word for it. It was humiliating and hurt. And then I decided "Fuck 'em" and worked on not letting it hurt (that was an effort, which I didn't always succeed at). Now that I've lost weight, it's fascinating to me how differently I'm treated, and the kind of attention I get now. And of course there's the folks who tell me to stop losing weight, and who express a concern that I might have a problem, because I want to lose a little bit more (I'm a size 8 now). I've had close friends who are overweight actually try to sabotage my weight loss (they're not in my life anymore). I used to feel resentful over skinny people. It's been so fucking hard for me to lose my weight, and it's SO EASY for me to gain. After many threads, though, about the grief skinny people also get, my eyes opened that it's not just fat, but skinny who get picked on. And really, I loved what Stella said - we're just not meeting others' expectations. But I think it goes beyond that. As a former obese person, I can tell you, people were offended by my presence. And that was....well...weird. Do you think people are offended by skinny people, too?

AVegasMaster -> RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. (8/18/2012 1:46:39 PM)
Personally, I never had a problem with slender subs. I don't have a problem with full figured ones either.

Thaz -> RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. (8/18/2012 1:57:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NuevaVida Do you think people are offended by skinny people, too? Yup. I have familly members with Anorexia. At the extreme end of Skinny some people do get creeped out, probably more often than the super super morbidly obese as _they_ tend to be shut ins.....

NuevaVida -> RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. (8/18/2012 2:07:21 PM)
Then I suppose the grief either side gets is just different. I got tired of hearing I should be paying for 2 seats on flights, that I took up too much space, that I probably didn't bathe, that I didn't belong in certain stores, that I was lazy, and so on.

Aswad -> RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. (8/18/2012 2:14:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KaleidoKenlyn though they are socially acceptable nowadays. Say what now? I know a lot of girls that would like to move to whatever planet you're describing. IWYW, — Aswad.

LaTigresse -> RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. (8/18/2012 2:38:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 Sorry, LaT, not correct on any level. The fashion industry coined the phrase back in the day. I know, I was a plus size model. I like the term, maybe some people feel self loathing and don't see their beauty, but I think whatever you want to call yourself is fine with me. You've just proven my point. Thank you. Marketing wizards came up with the term to avoid calling fat women fat. Fat, plus sized, etc has a negative connotation. So what phrase could they come up with to make people that were already catching shit from society, feel better about themselves. Oh yeah......let's use big and beautiful! It was a MARKETING ploy and it worked! Certainly some fat people ARE beautiful just like some slender people are beautiful and some people that are in the middle, between fat and slim. And yes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What I see as beautiful may not be the same as you, or anyone else. But to justify buying into some marketing ploy just to find a way to fool yourself into believing something is beautiful.........fat or thin, is still buying into it. It's no different than the blonde gig or the fake boob gig, or makeup versus no make up, or shaved pussy versus natural. We all have preferences and biases but to say that those preferences and biases are not shaped by media is bullshit.

Thaz -> RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. (8/18/2012 10:58:11 PM)
I think Dark Stephens sig says it all really. I dont care that much. When size (be it skinny or larger) starts to impact health then it becomes a concern to me. When it impacts your ability to have a normal* life excessively. (* for given values of normal). Tall, Short, fat, skinny, short hair, long hair, dark or fair I like 'em all (except blondes ;-) )

DarkPrism -> RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. (8/18/2012 11:43:11 PM)
I'm afraid of skinny women, afraid they might break. I also think that if I can see her bones, it's just ewwww. A larger woman is more fun to play with and there's more skin to make nice and red :)

sexyred1 -> RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. (8/18/2012 11:54:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 Sorry, LaT, not correct on any level. The fashion industry coined the phrase back in the day. I know, I was a plus size model. I like the term, maybe some people feel self loathing and don't see their beauty, but I think whatever you want to call yourself is fine with me. You've just proven my point. Thank you. Marketing wizards came up with the term to avoid calling fat women fat. Fat, plus sized, etc has a negative connotation. So what phrase could they come up with to make people that were already catching shit from society, feel better about themselves. Oh yeah......let's use big and beautiful! It was a MARKETING ploy and it worked! Certainly some fat people ARE beautiful just like some slender people are beautiful and some people that are in the middle, between fat and slim. And yes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What I see as beautiful may not be the same as you, or anyone else. But to justify buying into some marketing ploy just to find a way to fool yourself into believing something is beautiful.........fat or thin, is still buying into it. It's no different than the blonde gig or the fake boob gig, or makeup versus no make up, or shaved pussy versus natural. We all have preferences and biases but to say that those preferences and biases are not shaped by media is bullshit. I did not prove any point of yours. Of course it is marketing, no one said it isn't. Hell, everyone markets themselves, it is the way of the world. Ther term was coined so that more plus size fashions could be sold and stores like Lane Bryant would become more acceptable to the masses. However, I take exception to you saying that anyone who is fat should not fool themselves into thinking they are beautiful simply because society does not think so. I don't think it is bullshit to have confidence about yourself at any size and if you want to call yourself a BBW and believe you are, I say go for it.

Thaz -> RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. (8/19/2012 12:19:33 AM)
There are plenty of guys (and girls) who dig fat chicks. Believe it. My Wench has to beat them off with a stick or have me do it. And lots more that like 'some meat on the bones', the curvey girl is back in. Are there more people who go for thinner girls? Yes, but its a significant minority. Personally I go for brains. And legs. Neither of which go with the far extreme's of either. Not that hyper thin/fat chicks dont have brains but there's too much baggage to get to them.

DeviantlyD -> RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. (8/19/2012 12:57:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KaleidoKenlyn So, as of late, I've been noticing a lot of hate for skinny women. All over my Facebook, I've been seeing a lot of pictures of larger women and they're always captioned with "REAL women have curves" or "Curves are beautiful." It's not the pictures/captions that I have a big problem with (at least.. not for the most part). It's the comments that I see posted to those pics. And I see a lot of the same on this site as well. People have taken to calling slender women "disgusting" or "gross" or "a bag of bones." Anorexia and the evils of society will usually crop up in the discussion as well. Let me clarify something here. I'm not saying extremely underweight women are gorgeous. But I don't think extremely overweight women are either, though they are socially acceptable nowadays. People go on about how "society wants us all to be skinny." But really? At least in my area, slender women are a rare find. There's absolutely no shortage of larger women though. And, no. No one calls them fat. Skinny girl comes around though, and the eating disorder discussion will come right up. They are constantly teased about their lack of weight. Sure, in the modeling world, you're likely to see a majority of size 2's. But in every day life for most of them, slim women are practically shunned. People forget that they are real women, too. The majority of them work hard and eat right to keep their figures (not that I am one to diss anyone who enjoys the occasional Twinkie ^_^). The comments that get thrown around really, really bother me. These women have self-esteem issues just like the rest of us. We ALL have beautiful traits. And we ALL have something on our body that could be called "disgusting" by somebody out there. But NONE of us enjoy it. Every one of the threads you have started have just enough inaccuracies or your take on references of society's perceptions to stir up shit. Why is that? I don't know what your area of the world is like, but I can tell you that where I live I see none of what you have described above. There are a tremendous number of slim to very thin women here and a good lot of them are gorgeous and I have never seen any of them put down, in fact, quite the opposite. But you can perpetuate any myths you believe to be prevalent throughout society. That's your choice. Perhaps not the best one, but yours to make all the same.

littlewonder -> RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. (8/19/2012 1:03:10 AM)
quote: Not that hyper thin/fat chicks dont have brains but there's too much baggage to get to them. Seriously??? Sigh, now I feel awful about all that extra baggage that Master had to swim against to get to me. [8\|]

Thaz -> RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. (8/19/2012 1:14:21 AM)
LW>> Depends on where we define the bounds. I've dealt with friends and familly with eating disorders and/or serious weight issues. But taking on someone who was on the verge of needing full time medical care would be a step to far for me. I'm not talking about someone who could stand to gain a few pounds or loose a few dozen or even a hundred or more. I'm talking about people on the verge of death. My definition of when someone is too fat/thin for me to deal with is pretty extreme. I've had friends and familly die or spend years in institutions from either extreme.

littlewonder -> RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. (8/19/2012 1:20:53 AM)
In your response you just said hyper thin/fat. I guess we just have different views on what that is. As for what you are talking about, I would just label them as eating disorders not hyper.

Aswad -> RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. (8/19/2012 1:23:05 AM)
It's what you find at the end of the rainbow, not how far you have to chase it, littlewonder. I think the baggage he referred to is the tendency for either extreme to lead to social attacks and consequently low self esteem. ETA: Seems I was wrong about that. IWYW, — Aswad.

Thaz -> RE: Too much hate for slim girlies. (8/19/2012 1:31:02 AM)
LW. Yes we're just at different places in where we define those words. My Wench (love of my life, soulmate and wife) is morbidly obese and we're both working hard to change that as its impacting her life too much plus I want a longer life with her dammit. I would never have dreamed of kicking her to the kerb because she was overweight. Did I walk away from a rake thin drama queen who was inducing vomiting after every meal and wouldnt even consider this was perhaps not good for her? Yes, yes I did. I'd already spent years living with someone very close to me who had anorexia and just didnt have the energy to go there again. She had to be willing to get healthy and I wasnt going to force her or live with the harm she was doing to hersself untill she was. Even if it broke my heart at the time.

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