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NuevaVida -> RE: The dreaded "Gift of Submission" debacle (8/21/2012 11:32:10 PM)
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Hey sunny,
A couple of things in your post I wanted to comment on...
quote:
“Following one’s personality does not equal giving a gift”
I guess I’m a little new agey and all, but I *do* see it as a gift. I see it as some universey thing that I’ve been given. *FOR ME* it is perhaps even a bit of a mind fuck. This difficult “opportunity for growth” is actually a lesson from the universe to make my life better. That or G*d is just slapping me around. I’m gonna go for a gift of growth every time.
I'm more than a little new-agey, lol. At least by some people's standards. I see it that the Universe gave him to me, and gave me to him, and pretty much gives us everything we need (whether we recognize, like, accept it or not). So in that line of thinking, I'm a gift to him - but *I* didn't give him that gift. God, Goddess, the Universe (whatever anyone believes in) gave me to him. He is a gift to me, from the universe.
But it's me - the complete whole woman - who is a gift to him. Not a singling out of one aspect of me (submission).
My ability to live being true to myself is my own gift to myself (I see it this way after having denied myself the freedom of being "me" for a very long time).
So yeah, we're gifts, but I'm not giving him me as a gift; the universe is. Just as the universe gave him everything else in his life, and gave me everything else in my life.
quote:
Gratitude is a regular, daily part of my life. I heard a woman once praying who thanked G*d for a cold glass of water on a hot day. I remember how shocking it was that she was grateful for such a simple thing. I was a kid when I heard her pray that prayer. Since then I’ve often faltered, but I’ve tried to see the good in things, tried to appreciate even the worst of circumstances, tried to find the gift in everything. Perhaps, in actuality, this has been a double edged sword. While I don’t take things as much for granted – perhaps I ought to? - I’ve also been taken for granted more than I ought to have allowed.
I would be worried if my perspective were that I, SUNSHINE, AM SO SPECIAL. But that’s not it. For me, it’s that the people in my life are really amazing and wondrous. I feel so lucky to have them there. Their friendship is a gift to me.
Gratitude is amazing, and makes me see life much differently. I have a really good friend and we talk about gratitude all the time. I'm grateful for my life. And on those really hard days, yeah I focus on being grateful for even the "little" things (which are actually pretty big things, when you think about it) - like having water to drink, a bed to sleep in, and so on.
I do tend to think, though, that the "gift of submission" idea is more like the "I AM SO SPECIAL" concept you referred to. You never hear about the gift of mastery, eh? The problem I have with the "gift of submission" is it's too focused on the submission. I mean, I have friends who are stay at home moms and they are grateful to their husbands, and see their husbands as a gift to them. But they don't say "The gift of his income", they see their complete existence as a gift from God (or whomever).
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