DNAHelicase
Posts: 115
Joined: 7/5/2012
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To all of those who say that you prefer somebody inexperienced because she (or he) can be shaped into anything you want, how does this translate into non-kinky aspects of a person? Do you go after any inexperienced person of the gender and d/s persuasion you favor, regardless of potential compatibility in areas outside of kink? Or do you only pursue people who share common interests and who have a personality you find enjoyable?
Before I say anything else, I think I ought to clarify the word "predator" that's being used in my reply. There are different types of predator. The one that seems to be most common (or at least most commonly seen in communities) is the sexual predator. There are also the predators who are dangerous and they know it but they seek to hide it; the ones who are using BDSM to find somebody to victimize by convincing him or her that all the abuse being inflicted on him or her is just good ol' BDSM fun and games; and if you want to call them predators, there are the people who are just out to use their partners for resources (money, a place to live, etc.). Each of these is going to have a very different MO. And that's saying nothing of all the people who are just fucked up emotionally who move from relationship to relationship, leaving a mess of a person behind each time. My prior posts and this one are primarily about sexual predators, though some of it overlaps with the ones who are dangerous and seek to mislead new people into thinking they're safe.
One of the hallmarks of all the sexual predators (and most of the dangerous/seeking to hide it predators) I've seen and read or heard about is their lack of choosiness. They really don't care what that inexperienced person's hobbies are because they don't intend to ever share in them. They really don't care if that inexperienced person shares similar ambitions and life goals because they don't intend from the start to be in that inexperienced person's life long enough for it to matter. They really don't care if that inexperienced person's personality is grating or otherwise unpleasing (to the predator) because the predator doesn't intend to spend much time talking with that inexperienced person.
So getting back to the questions I asked at the beginning of this response, the people who prefer inexperienced partners for whatever reason--ok, you have your reasons. I know a lot of people who like newbies for various reasons. I know a lot of people who flock to any new person who comes into our community because they've had no luck finding what they're looking for among the people who are already active in it. But if that new person isn't compatible with them because of vanilla interests, personalities, politics, whatever, they quickly switch to friends-only mode (or ignoring, if the clash is sizable enough) with the new person. One of the biggest differences between those people and predators is that those people don't go for *any* newbie. There has to be more of a match up than only that the person is new.
Edited to add that in case it isn't clear, I'm not saying anything bad about people who choose inexperienced partners for whatever reason. I know a lot of people personally who do, and I know their motives aren't sinister. As I said above, there's a difference in how predators, whose intent is to get as much booty as possible, go about pursuing newbies versus the people whose intent is to look for a relationship.
< Message edited by DNAHelicase -- 8/29/2012 10:22:01 PM >
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RE: Dominants that seek out the inexperienced - 
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