quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressZaraUK

Why in hell's name do pro dommes keep getting lumped into the same pigeon hole as fin dommes on this site ? We are completely different animals !

A Pro Domme = Someone who meets people in real life and provides a genuine service. They supply their time, equipment, facilities and expertise to those in the BDSM community who may for many reasons not be able access what they want through clubs, munches etc... Yes, they do charge for this service, but so does a restaurant for supplying you with a meal or a mechanic for fixing your car, funny but I don't see any subs complaining about these service providers, Pro Dommes are no different, they simply provide a service where there is a demand.

A fin domme = Just about anyone who has the intelligence to create a fake profile and scam vulnerable people out of their money with no commitment to ever meet up in real life.

The two are simply light years apart, yet every other sub who complains about fin dommes seem to end up painting Pro Dommes with the same very badly aimed brush.

Zara

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ORIGINAL: littlewonder

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Next time you go to an event, keep an eye on the 'non pro' Dommes you see there, trust me, that lady will not have paid for her transport, hotel, club entrance, meals, drinks or anything else it will all have been paid for by the little sub group who are following in her wake.

This had me laughing hysterically. I don't know what universe you are living honey, but I guarantee you that's soooooo not true.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressZaraUK

And yet again, you seem to show your complete ignorance of the BDSM scene in general, and the Pro Domme scene in particular Wh0re, as typified by your immature attempt to now label Pro Dommes alongside prostitutes. I know many professional mistresses both socially and professionally and NONE of them allow penetrative sex from ANY of their clients

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressZaraUK
however the reality is that there is a huge demand and there will always be a professional element to the BDSM scene that will service that demand regardless if you like it or not.

And regardless of what you may think of us Wh0re, we do take pride in delivering a good service, making our customers happy and ensuring that they are getting value for their money. If we don't do that, we pretty quickly run out of customers.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressZaraUK
A fin domme = Just about anyone who has the intelligence to create a fake profile and scam vulnerable people out of their money with no commitment to ever meet up in real life.

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ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressZaraUK
A fin domme = Just about anyone who has the intelligence to create a fake profile and scam vulnerable people out of their money with no commitment to ever meet up in real life.

Comments like this one make you appear, ah, uninformed. Here's a couple anecdotes about findommes I know personally.

One I knew before she became a findomme, and after. Part of the reason she stopped was due to a situation that she called me about one night, asking me what she should do. One of her clients had told her that he had given her his rent money and was being evicted, and he kept trying to give her more, which she wouldn't accept. She blocked him. He re-registered under another email address and tried to give her more money. She blocked him again. This happened several times, until she finally called me, because she didn't know what else to do.

Another findomme is someone currently in my personal life. My relationship with her is not financially based. She uses social networking profiles to play a character, make money and feed a fetish. She has long-term clients and is pretty successful. One bonus for me is that it gets her hotter-than-usual when I give her some money or buy her a gift. This gets vanilla women aroused also, but it's an extra-fun button to push in her case.

Finally I used to date (in real life) an "online-only tribute domme." She is in a helping profession, and supported me emotionally during some difficult times. Something that made me smile: she once asked me, "Hey, I have a bunch of Amazon gift cards I'm not using. Do you want me to buy you anything from there?"

Finally, I have to say that one of the most interesting social phenomena in the BDSM scene is how little solidarity there is between prodommes and other women. Every prodomme I know would call herself a feminist, yet most of them behave just as you did, throwing prostitutes and findommes under the bus at the first opportunity. Not a lot of Sisterhood Is Powerful going on here. It's quite a contradiction. Take the mote out of your own eye, perhaps?

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ORIGINAL: wh0re

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressZaraUK

And yet again, you seem to show your complete ignorance of the BDSM scene in general, and the Pro Domme scene in particular Wh0re, as typified by your immature attempt to now label Pro Dommes alongside prostitutes. I know many professional mistresses both socially and professionally and NONE of them allow penetrative sex from ANY of their clients

And You are talking about ignorance? No penetrative sex, no prostitution? Really ?

Quote from wikipedia: "Prostitution is the business or practice of providing sexual services to another person in return for payment. The person who receives payment for sexual services is called a prostitute or sex worker and the person who receives such services is known by a multitude of terms." From the same sourse sexual serivces redirects to ... "Human sexual activities or human sexual practices or human sexual behavior refers to the manner in which humans experience and express their sexuality."

I hope I broadened Your horizon a bit in regards with the term prostitution.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressZaraUK
however the reality is that there is a huge demand and there will always be a professional element to the BDSM scene that will service that demand regardless if you like it or not.

And regardless of what you may think of us Wh0re, we do take pride in delivering a good service, making our customers happy and ensuring that they are getting value for their money. If we don't do that, we pretty quickly run out of customers.

... and the very same thing doesn't go for the rest of the sex workers who deliever sexual service how? Just because they don't put "Pro"-labels to their profession ... but even on that point funny enough there is a Pro in ProStitution.

quote:

ORIGINAL: wh0re

Oh I do like professionals, don't get me wrong darlin, just I don't think BDSM is a profession and don't like people who deem it as their own.

My favourite source says, I quote: "A profession is a vocation founded upon specialized educational training" so which certified College/Univercity/Highschool did You graduated for Your BDSM degree?

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ORIGINAL: MistressZaraUK
The prejudice against Pro Dommes is pretty laughable

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We do have one outstanding virtue as pros, at least we are upfront and honest as to our cost and we give our customers what they want, not whatever takes our fancy at the time

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ORIGINAL: MistressZaraUK

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

quote:

Next time you go to an event, keep an eye on the 'non pro' Dommes you see there, trust me, that lady will not have paid for her transport, hotel, club entrance, meals, drinks or anything else it will all have been paid for by the little sub group who are following in her wake.

This had me laughing hysterically. I don't know what universe you are living honey, but I guarantee you that's soooooo not true.

Well lets see, 13 years on the UK BDSM scene, have been to pretty much every major club and event in this country. Personally know dozens of pro and non pro Dommes some of whom I count as personal friends, so yes, I do have a pretty good insight into the dynamics of the BDSM scene here.


I'm living in exactly the same universe that you are littlewonder, perhaps I am simply a little more observant then you are. There are very few commercial events that I go to where you do not see at least a couple of sub 'milkers' in the mix. It's not every Domme that attends an event, but trust me, they very much exist.

Zara

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
Well you are in Europe and so I guess that happens there. Here in the states, for the past 15 years, every single time I have hosted or gone to a play party or dungeon, if the Domme was without a guy, she paid her own way or even if she was with a guy, she was usually doing the paying because she sees him as a playtoy and not a bank. Sounds to me that in Europe that many "Dommes" are findommes or verge on being a Pro. Here in the states it does not work that way usually.

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ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
Well you are in Europe and so I guess that happens there. Here in the states, for the past 15 years, every single time I have hosted or gone to a play party or dungeon, if the Domme was without a guy, she paid her own way or even if she was with a guy, she was usually doing the paying because she sees him as a playtoy and not a bank. Sounds to me that in Europe that many "Dommes" are findommes or verge on being a Pro. Here in the states it does not work that way usually.

You are much more polite than I am. Zara has already posted at least one thing that I know to be false. I see no reason to believe her about this particular point. "I've been around for thirteen years" just doesn't cut it with me. Unless someone I know to be active on the London scene posts that she's right, I'm guessing that her claim is yet another lie told on the internet in an attempt to win an argument.

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ORIGINAL: MistressZaraUK

OK, so finally we get some objective statements from you, rather then just a general 'lets beat up on the pros' rant. So, some sensible answers to your questions.

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ORIGINAL: wh0re

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressZaraUK

OK, so finally we get some objective statements from you, rather then just a general 'lets beat up on the pros' rant. So, some sensible answers to your questions.

Out of all I wrote You find this the only objective statement? LOL ... anyways

1) Talent? Really? BDSM talent? Wow probably You didn't mean just that ... well if You went all the way from being a Dom to being a Domme I guess You were desperately seeking Your ... erm ... talent

2) BDSM is not on any list of professions I knwo

Sorry for being so short, but we are starting to repeat ourselves here ... You are smart ... will get it

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

It's Christmas. I'm really trying hard to cut down on my snark.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressZaraUK

Mmmm, I think the only one who is running out of any reasoned argument is yourself, but to clarify a few things for you...

1) Yes, talent and experience. If you have been around the scene as much as you say you have then you will have certainly seen enough examples of people who don't have a clue what they are doing. As to why I do the tranny Domme thing, it's a niche market and earns me more money in a week then you probably see in a month matey and I certainly work a hell of a lot less hours to earn it then you do. At the end of the day, the make up comes off and I live a normal life like any other guy, only just a lot better paid.

2) Please look in a dictionary, a profession is defined as a vocation or business

I hope this has cleared up your confusion

Zara

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

Wh0re, you and I have exchanged a few emails on this subject. But at this time I must say that I have to stop entertaining your notions. I used to have a quote on My sig line that said "to argue with a person who has lost the voice of reason is like administering medicine to the dead". I feel like this is what we are attempting to do with you.

But I did want to say one thing to your question about what degrees in BDSM does one receive...I wish Lady Pact was in this discussion. There may not be a piece of paper that says diploma on it, but there are tons and tons of classes and workshops etc that pros do attend to learn and further safety education and play education. So yes, there are things to attend and learn from. I'm sure there are quite a few Dommes who have taught and attended. Just wanted to through that out there.

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ORIGINAL: wh0re

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressZaraUK

Mmmm, I think the only one who is running out of any reasoned argument is yourself, but to clarify a few things for you...

1) Yes, talent and experience. If you have been around the scene as much as you say you have then you will have certainly seen enough examples of people who don't have a clue what they are doing. As to why I do the tranny Domme thing, it's a niche market and earns me more money in a week then you probably see in a month matey and I certainly work a hell of a lot less hours to earn it then you do. At the end of the day, the make up comes off and I live a normal life like any other guy, only just a lot better paid.

2) Please look in a dictionary, a profession is defined as a vocation or business

I hope this has cleared up your confusion

Zara

Ah finally You spat it out - niche, money, earning more etc. etc. and You call that genuine BDSM interest ... allow me to laugh hard at Your statement. You saw a niche in the market and turned from a Dom to a TS Domme ... and You tell me it is the BDSM that brought You here - no dear ... You are here to "work" to make money and You are here to exploit subs weaknesses for Your own gains and that has nothing to do with neither Domming nor BDSM in general

As for the vocation on business - well genuine BDSM is not a business and I am already tired of repeating that or at least it is not meant to be. Well of course there are people lazy enough or not capable enough of finding a proper job so they go the prositute way - selling sex (in this case sexual service) because sex always sells. You probably once were interested in BDSM but then You needed money and since female subs are not much into the habbit of paying their Dom's You decided to turn into Domme, knowing male subs are so desperate to play out their fantasies that they will even pay You.

And if You think You are fooling someone - well, You are not ... or at least not me.