RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s?

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (Full Version)

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dink22 -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/11/2013 3:27:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TNDommeK It's simply your opinion that there are no meaningful relationships. I actually have had several meaningful relationships. My fin slaves are very important to me. So for you to say it isn't legit, is simply opinion. Maybe the site doesn't list financial domination, that's their business. Whether they list it or not, there is a high volume of subs wanting it. Who are you to tell them they're wrong? You seem to want to defend this financial domination thing to the death, and I'll let you. It simply doesn't change reality. If the $$$$$ isn't there, neither is the relationship. Some things are that simple. And that superficial. But if you want to believe there's something "real" there, for whatever reason, nothing I can say will change your mind. And I don't expect to.

searching4mysir -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/11/2013 4:46:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dink22 quote: ORIGINAL: TNDommeK It's simply your opinion that there are no meaningful relationships. I actually have had several meaningful relationships. My fin slaves are very important to me. So for you to say it isn't legit, is simply opinion. Maybe the site doesn't list financial domination, that's their business. Whether they list it or not, there is a high volume of subs wanting it. Who are you to tell them they're wrong? You seem to want to defend this financial domination thing to the death, and I'll let you. It simply doesn't change reality. If the $$$$$ isn't there, neither is the relationship. Some things are that simple. And that superficial. But if you want to believe there's something "real" there, for whatever reason, nothing I can say will change your mind. And I don't expect to. And who are you to determine if other people's relationships are meaningful or not? Because that is really what this boils down to: you judging other people's relationships when they don't concern you. If you don't want to be a fin-slave, then don't be one. It really IS that simple. There are male fin-doms on this site. If I wanted to be a fin-sub, it wouldn't be that hard to find them, but I have no desire for that so I passed those profiles by when I was actively searching.

OsideGirl -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/11/2013 5:37:10 PM)
So, really, what you're doing is telling everyone here what the owner's thought process is when you've never talked to them or even met them. You're entitled to your stance in financial domination, but you are not entitled to speak for the owners.

painman66 -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/11/2013 5:49:40 PM)
I think the issue is more to do with the people who only bring up the financial thing when contacted (both sub and dom). If we are all upfront about what we are looking for, then only those happy with the arrangement will reply. I do think there is a very good case for findom(mme)s being listed seperately though, so it is easy to find them for those that are looking for them, and more difficult for misunderstandings to occur.

OsideGirl -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/11/2013 5:53:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: painman66 I think the issue is more to do with the people who only bring up the financial thing when contacted (both sub and dom). If we are all upfront about what we are looking for, then only those happy with the arrangement will reply. I do think there is a very good case for findom(mme)s being listed seperately though, so it is easy to find them for those that are looking for them, and more difficult for misunderstandings to occur. That has already been discussed by the owners (per Alpha in previous threads) and it was declined because it gives them special status beyond being noted as a FemDom. You'll notice there are no classifications for Goreans, 1950's, Christian or other subsets of D/s BDSM.

LadyPact -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/11/2013 6:01:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dink22 Okay. So CM has, literally, 3 pages of bdsm interests. Everything from "ass play" to "face slapping" to "no strings housework" to "rubber fetish" to "whips." But where is "financial domination?" It simply isn't listed. Because they know it's not a 'real" bdsm interest. When I first joined this site, before it was even commercially sponsored, there was a rule that you could not mention "financial domination" in your profile, nor link other sites. They wanted it to be totally REAL. They simply realized that "financial domination" wasn't a real bdsm interest, but just something for married guys coming from the commercial sex market. NOTHING has changed. "financial domination" is not a real fetish. Nobody builds, or ever will build an actual meaningful relationship around it. If the money goes away, the relationship is dissolved. There's nothing there. That's why, with over THREE PAGES of BDSM interests, "financial domination" still isn't listed. Married and otherwise committed men do it because they can't do real submission. And greedy women and dudes with computers are happy to take their money. TRUTH. Let's quit kidding ourselves on this subject. Reality isn't always what we want it to be. Unfortunately, it's still reality. OK. I'm pushed for time here but I just did a quick scan. If I overlooked something and I'm making this statement incorrectly, I'll gladly apologize. Do you know what else isn't listed as an "interest" or even a "lifestyle" on that list? High protocol and leather community. A person would have to be hiding under a rock not to recognize either one of them as legitimate. Now, I realize that I'm in the minority on this one, but if there's no high protocol to a dynamic, at least on the home front, I don't participate. By your logic, since CM doesn't add that to the list, it's not considered "real." Would you like to walk into a leather con and try telling people that?

TNDommeK -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/11/2013 6:27:35 PM)
Of course he wouldn't. He has absolutely nothing to validate his opinions. Which is why, most every time he responds, his posts argued with and proven wrong. I do fight this particular subject to the death bc I refuse to let someone tell me about what is real for me or not. I also refuse to let people who are curios about this subject see his opinions go unanswered. If there is ANY thing that a person is into, who am I or you to tell them otherwise. The leather community, the Gorean community, the 1950s community and any other community who is into kink is just as real and legit as any thing else.

dink22 -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/11/2013 6:34:42 PM)
Lady Pact: I'm sure not every fetish is represented. There's no possible way. But with so many dom chicks (supposedly) into financial domination, don't you think it would be at least as popular as, say, "needle play?" And yet it doesn't even make the list...

dink22 -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/11/2013 6:44:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: searching4mysir quote: ORIGINAL: dink22 quote: ORIGINAL: TNDommeK It's simply your opinion that there are no meaningful relationships. I actually have had several meaningful relationships. My fin slaves are very important to me. So for you to say it isn't legit, is simply opinion. Maybe the site doesn't list financial domination, that's their business. Whether they list it or not, there is a high volume of subs wanting it. Who are you to tell them they're wrong? You don't have to get all uppity. Just show me a few examples of financial domination relationships that even work at all. Bonus points for children and families. You seem to want to defend this financial domination thing to the death, and I'll let you. It simply doesn't change reality. If the $$$$$ isn't there, neither is the relationship. Some things are that simple. And that superficial. But if you want to believe there's something "real" there, for whatever reason, nothing I can say will change your mind. And I don't expect to. And who are you to determine if other people's relationships are meaningful or not? Because that is really what this boils down to: you judging other people's relationships when they don't concern you. If you don't want to be a fin-slave, then don't be one. It really IS that simple. There are male fin-doms on this site. If I wanted to be a fin-sub, it wouldn't be that hard to find them, but I have no desire for that so I passed those profiles by when I was actively searching. You don't have to get all uppity. Just show me an example of a financial domination relationship that works at all. Bonus points for children and families.

searching4mysir -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/11/2013 7:23:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dink22 quote: ORIGINAL: searching4mysir quote: ORIGINAL: dink22 quote: ORIGINAL: TNDommeK It's simply your opinion that there are no meaningful relationships. I actually have had several meaningful relationships. My fin slaves are very important to me. So for you to say it isn't legit, is simply opinion. Maybe the site doesn't list financial domination, that's their business. Whether they list it or not, there is a high volume of subs wanting it. Who are you to tell them they're wrong? You don't have to get all uppity. Just show me a few examples of financial domination relationships that even work at all. Bonus points for children and families. You seem to want to defend this financial domination thing to the death, and I'll let you. It simply doesn't change reality. If the $$$$$ isn't there, neither is the relationship. Some things are that simple. And that superficial. But if you want to believe there's something "real" there, for whatever reason, nothing I can say will change your mind. And I don't expect to. And who are you to determine if other people's relationships are meaningful or not? Because that is really what this boils down to: you judging other people's relationships when they don't concern you. If you don't want to be a fin-slave, then don't be one. It really IS that simple. There are male fin-doms on this site. If I wanted to be a fin-sub, it wouldn't be that hard to find them, but I have no desire for that so I passed those profiles by when I was actively searching. You don't have to get all uppity. Just show me an example of a financial domination relationship that works at all. Bonus points for children and families. I'm not being "uppity". If anyone is, it is you by feeling you have the right to determine relationships for other people. That is an awfully arrogant attitude that you seem to have to think you have that right. Define the parameters of "financial domination" because it can include anything from budget control to rinsing. If you are merely talking about the fin-duck rinsers, then I might agree, however growing up, my father might have been considered a "fin-dom" since he made all financial decisions and controlled all the money in the household (even my mother's paycheck). Domination is about control. Yes, my mother was made aware of the family finances, but until the day he died, HE controlled (dominated) the family finances.

ResidentSadist -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/11/2013 7:37:36 PM)
Nothing is more concise and informative than 86 pages of "is financial domination a legitimate" that are littered with FinDoms saying yes and pissed off clients/subs saying no.

dink22 -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/11/2013 7:47:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: searching4mysir quote: ORIGINAL: dink22 quote: ORIGINAL: searching4mysir quote: ORIGINAL: dink22 quote: ORIGINAL: TNDommeK It's simply your opinion that there are no meaningful relationships. I actually have had several meaningful relationships. My fin slaves are very important to me. So for you to say it isn't legit, is simply opinion. Maybe the site doesn't list financial domination, that's their business. Whether they list it or not, there is a high volume of subs wanting it. Who are you to tell them they're wrong? You don't have to get all uppity. Just show me a few examples of financial domination relationships that even work at all. Bonus points for children and families. You seem to want to defend this financial domination thing to the death, and I'll let you. It simply doesn't change reality. If the $$$$$ isn't there, neither is the relationship. Some things are that simple. And that superficial. But if you want to believe there's something "real" there, for whatever reason, nothing I can say will change your mind. And I don't expect to. And who are you to determine if other people's relationships are meaningful or not? Because that is really what this boils down to: you judging other people's relationships when they don't concern you. If you don't want to be a fin-slave, then don't be one. It really IS that simple. There are male fin-doms on this site. If I wanted to be a fin-sub, it wouldn't be that hard to find them, but I have no desire for that so I passed those profiles by when I was actively searching. You don't have to get all uppity. Just show me an example of a financial domination relationship that works at all. Bonus points for children and families. I'm not being "uppity". If anyone is, it is you by feeling you have the right to determine relationships for other people. That is an awfully arrogant attitude that you seem to have to think you have that right. Define the parameters of "financial domination" because it can include anything from budget control to rinsing. If you are merely talking about the fin-duck rinsers, then I might agree, however growing up, my father might have been considered a "fin-dom" since he made all financial decisions and controlled all the money in the household (even my mother's paycheck). Domination is about control. Yes, my mother was made aware of the family finances, but until the day he died, HE controlled (dominated) the family finances. Look, if you don't think you're being uppity, then okay. I guess you don't see yourself that way.

TNDommeK -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/11/2013 8:37:59 PM)
I don't see her that way either. I see someone proving you wrong and you being pissed as usual. Although I'll give credit for this time actually attempting a decent convo.

OsideGirl -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/11/2013 8:59:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dink22 Just show me an example of a financial domination relationship that works at all. Bonus points for children and families. We've been married for 13 years, he controls the finances, I own my own businesses and I get an allowance. Financial dominance. For more than a decade. #happily married

dink22 -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/11/2013 9:11:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl quote: ORIGINAL: dink22 Just show me an example of a financial domination relationship that works at all. Bonus points for children and families. We've been married for 13 years, he controls the finances, I own my own businesses and I get an allowance. Financial dominance. For more than a decade. #happily married Really? That drives the depth of your love?

LadyPact -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/12/2013 2:25:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dink22 Lady Pact: I'm sure not every fetish is represented. There's no possible way. But with so many dom chicks (supposedly) into financial domination, don't you think it would be at least as popular as, say, "needle play?" And yet it doesn't even make the list... If "not every fetish" is represented, I don't understand your beef that fin kink isn't on the list. The leather community has been in existence for several decades, has events that span the country, and that's not listed, either. In it's ten years of existence, DomCon (Atlanta) has made classes available regarding fin kink and hundreds of people are going there. For what it's worth, I took ten seconds to check the page on the 'other' site. With the key words "financial domination" I found 126 groups. Needles? I got 67. You're going to have to forgive Me, but I've been having this same ridiculous debate (or it's parallels) for over a decade. "Oh, it's not really sadism if you don't get sexually excited every time you engage in BDSM." "There's no such thing as a Dominant who marries another Dominant, so one of you must switch." It can't be this and it can't be that because people don't see things the way other folks might. The money is gone so the dynamic is gone. So what? In My world, if the obedience is gone the dynamic is gone. If the honesty is gone, the dynamic is gone. I could put a dozen words in place of "money" and say with complete conviction that I'd take somebody out of My life for not fulfilling what I want. It's one of the perks of being on this side of the kneel. I get to do that. You don't have to like it. You can bitch about it until the cows come home, but it's not going to change anything because the people who engage in that kink that you don't like really aren't taking your opinion into account when they do TTTWD. Believe it or not, personal kinks are not a democracy and you don't get a vote.

TNDommeK -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/12/2013 2:50:21 AM)
Well stated.

TNDommeK -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/12/2013 2:51:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dink22 quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl quote: ORIGINAL: dink22 Just show me an example of a financial domination relationship that works at all. Bonus points for children and families. We've been married for 13 years, he controls the finances, I own my own businesses and I get an allowance. Financial dominance. For more than a decade. #happily married Really? That drives the depth of your love? Well, there goes that credit. I spoke too soon about you being able to actually hold a decent convo. [8\|]

crazyml -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/12/2013 3:52:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dink22 Look, if you don't think you're being uppity, then okay. I guess you don't see yourself that way. I'm guessing that you probably can't see how some observers might regard your posts as a little bit silly and churlish? Am I right?

chatterbox24 -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/12/2013 6:46:26 AM)
My personal opinion on Financial Domination, is it exists but it is not legitimate. Its based on a lot falsehoods. Basically it is a superficial relationship based on $$$. Lonely or horny guy or woman is willing to pay $$$ for a pretend relationship or favors by a physically very attractive individual. They dig in their pockets to have that pretend relationship with an individual most likely they could not actually have a real existence with outside the $$$. It is no mystery physically beautiful people are usually attracted to like beautiful people, their equal. Same goes with intelligence, a healthy person generally looks for their equal in that department too or a least someone close. ANd maybe some people don't want real, they want pretend or fantasy either because they don't have room or want of a relationship, or they aren't healthy enough for a real relationship. Even if the person enjoys it for whatever reason, its still not real. Take the $$$ from it, and it disappears, just like Santa does when your about 7 or 8 yrs old.

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