RE: has this ever happened to another sub?

RE: has this ever happened to another sub? (Full Version)

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Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: has this ever happened to another sub? (9/15/2012 7:38:43 PM)
That would be a ginormous red flag for me. I feel you should be safe and able to ask your Master anything you need to ask. quote: ORIGINAL: aleneb But I am curious I know I can not ask my Master quote:

Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: has this ever happened to another sub? (9/16/2012 1:08:28 PM)
You're missing the part where she said he hasn't given her permission to ask questions. She has to wait until he gives her permission to ask questions. quote: ORIGINAL: nephandi Greetings Why can you not ask your Master is he mute and and illiterate and unable to sign?

sexyred1 -> RE: has this ever happened to another sub? (9/16/2012 1:17:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angelikaJ quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP The op is 55, which probably means the dude is about that age also. Honey, he's doing you with toys because he has ED. He's ashamed of admitting it, which is why he won't let you ask any personal questions. Ask him if he can get a scrip for Viagra, or if he's tried and does it work for him. It doesn't always. If not, tell him to get a pump. Yeah he has to go to the bathroom for a couple of minutes to get ready, but so what? Or he has a wife and it isn't cheating if he doesn't have intercourse... . Or, he is fine, does not have ED and is just not that into her.

crazyml -> RE: has this ever happened to another sub? (9/16/2012 1:24:47 PM)
I know this has been said a few times on this thread, but I'm going to say it again anyway.... For the love of god, a few weeks into a relationship you can ask what ever fucking questions you like. Indeed when it comes to my sub partners questions are always welcome, whenever. And while I know that different dominants roll in different ways... the idea that he'd be annoyed at you asking questions, or that he'd actually forbid you, gives me the frikken heebie-jeebies. Seriously... ask the question. If he reacts badly to you asking, then do your self a favour and bail. [ET fix typo]

KatyLied -> RE: has this ever happened to another sub? (9/16/2012 3:08:48 PM)
Wow, if you are sucking a guy's dick, you should be able to ask him whatever you want. Unless you don't care about yourself. Sure, he doesn't have to answer and you are free to refrain from sucking him.

IamRealAsItGets -> RE: has this ever happened to another sub? (9/16/2012 3:25:54 PM)
Who knows? Maybe he's gay. Maybe he's waiting for you to break down and beg him for it. The personal, physical questions - as well as most other questions - should have been asked before the first time you got together with him, in a well-lit public place, to look each other in the eye and consider going further. If you don't know him well enough to know the answers to the questions you have, then you are not ready to be allowing him access to your body. It doesn't take that long to have a few discussions, establish boundaries and get clear answers to important questions, and explain what you want out of any potential relationship that may be developing; and, there is no excuse for a dominant not to take the lead and make sure anyone they might be owning or training takes these steps!

thishereboi -> RE: has this ever happened to another sub? (9/16/2012 3:30:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: aleneb since I am only into him for the past 4 weeks, we only meet 2x wk, daily assignments and communication. I have not been given permission to ask personal physical questions yet - should I ask when I can ask such a personal question and wait for his permission. shouldn't you have gotten this all sorted out before you agreed to be in a relationship with him?

lkb0503 -> RE: has this ever happened to another sub? (9/20/2012 3:55:14 AM)
I am very new with BDSM lifestyle, but even I know to ask about likes/dislikes, ect. I see the red flag too!! I want to join on the front porch too!! Speaking about the Adirondack Chair, do you live near the Adirondack Mountains? just asking, because I do.

NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: has this ever happened to another sub? (9/20/2012 1:04:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: aleneb since I am only into him for the past 4 weeks, we only meet 2x wk, daily assignments and communication. I have not been given permission to ask personal physical questions yet - should I ask when I can ask such a personal question and wait for his permission. You mean you haven't asked this guy any personal questions yet and you're already giving him BJs but not getting fucked? Possibilities for him not fucking you and/or not wanting you to ask him personal questions: 1. He's married. 2. He has ED and he's embarrassed about it. You know he can get things for that, right? Viagra, Cialis, Levitra. 3. He's not that into you. 4. He's really gay. Bottom line, without good communication there can't be a good relationship. I dont know about you, but I want to find out as much as I can about someone before sex starts happening, and that includes oral sex. As for the sexual intercourse thing, both people deserve to get their needs met in a relationship. If your needs aren't being met, why stay? NBMG

littlewonder -> RE: has this ever happened to another sub? (9/20/2012 5:44:02 PM)
Or...he has an STD and doesn't want to tell you. I can remember a few years past about a group of bdsm people slept with each other at one point or another and everyone in the group got herpes. Just something to think about.

soldierlvr -> RE: has this ever happened to another sub? (9/22/2012 3:30:39 PM)
I know this has been said....but why the hell can't you ask him questions? Especially if you are new in the lifestyle. When Master and I met it was with the intentions of him becoming my Master (which he did) and I was and still am allowed to ask him questions. I don't question his actions, that is different, but I am allowed to ask questions. Especially when we were only a month into things.

sassyshunger -> RE: has this ever happened to another sub? (9/23/2012 10:46:34 PM)
quote: aleneb I'm also very new to this experience, and can't understand why you'd agree to submit to a man you can't ask questions of... You have to value yourself, and be able to respect and trust your Dom if you have any hopes of a satisfying relationship. At this point, all you are is an interchangeable vessel for his entertainment. Is that all you're worth?

nashsub4fun -> RE: has this ever happened to another sub? (9/24/2012 2:56:24 AM)
With his age, erectile dysfunction is a real possibility and that may be the reason. We all get to certain age that some things don't work like they used - women included. ASK! ASK! ASK! If you were in a vanilla rather than a D/s relationship, you would ask personal questions so why is this any different. You have a right to know personal information about someone you are getting personal with.

alildifferent -> RE: has this ever happened to another sub? (10/1/2012 9:22:57 PM)
I'd like to raise a further suggestion. Maybe he's messing with your head. He certainly seems to be messing with your self esteem. Your already wondering why your not good enough to fuck. There are dominants who'll piss on their subs for a year and whore you out to strangers but won't fuck you. The message such a person is giving you is your not even worthy of his jizz. Another possibility is he's all oral and only gives a rat's arse about HIS pleasure. Your just a sucking tool to him.

TieMeInKnottss -> RE: has this ever happened to another sub? (10/8/2012 11:07:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr has this ever happened to another sub? Yes. Peace and comfort, Michael Yes I am facing a similar problem although I must not be as polite because I flat out asked if he was impotent/couldn't get excited by non-dom interaction (not during play or even when he was really exerting control but more of a cuddly "vanilla" moment). I did not ask about his disease panel because I asked that & proof when we first explored whether we were looking for the same things, and if we were compatible in other areas.

OsideGirl -> RE: has this ever happened to another sub? (10/8/2012 11:17:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nashsub4fun With his age, erectile dysfunction is a real possibility and that may be the reason. If he's really getting an STD screening every three months, then I tend to think that isn't the case.

ivone1 -> RE: has this ever happened to another sub? (10/8/2012 3:05:49 PM)
your how old again.... maybe he has ed or something else going on in his life that prevents intercourse... which btw has nothing to do with s/m .... everyone can have intercourse ..... as for not being able to ask personal questions of him... fuck that.... if your giving bj's and such you best damn well know whats going on in his personal life as well as his private life that is of course that he is married and cheating on his wife... now that would explain it .... some people never cease to amaze me when it comes to bdsm...its like their senses flies right out the window... talk to him about it ... communication .... number one... communication... know the person and his life before spending emotional time with them... gesss is that so hard

LookieNoNookie -> RE: has this ever happened to another sub? (10/8/2012 3:13:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SlipSlidingAway quote: ORIGINAL: aleneb I recently joined a Master to reacquaint me to the lifestyle. He is teaching me slowly. He does offer affection and caresses and slight massages after my punishments. I have my assignments & I have my rewards. But the rewards have not been with him actually in my pussy. He uses his toys (very elaborate toys!) I have given him bj. But he does not physically perform on me except with devices. I have never had a Dom in this manner before, but I am still a beginner returning to the lifestyle so I am grateful that he is patient and trusting. But I am curious I know I can not ask my Master but if other subs could help me figure him out. Anxious to more forward. How long should I give him to find out? I know as a sub I must serve his needs first and be obedient in his training and his desires. Why can't you ask your master? He's the only one that can tell you if you and he are going to have intercourse eventually or not. At best, everyone else would be speculating. We don't know you or him... I don't speculate. I know everything.

daddyzbashfulone -> RE: has this ever happened to another sub? (10/15/2012 11:03:52 PM)
wow, And my question was going to be Why do they call it "Training" .... I even think I posted in my profile I never shut up... I love asking questions and listening to fun "stories"... YOUR DOM WOULD HAVE KICKED ME TO THE CURB BY NOW IF HE'S NOT INTO QUESTIONS, THEN IF I'M TOLD I CAN'T ASK PERSONAL INFO... HAHAHAHA ... THAT REALLY GETS MY JUICES FLOWING !! Girl you need to tell him to Smack you back into reality and Fast. Kisses I will bring the Lemonade for the front porch meeting.

daddyzbashfulone -> RE: has this ever happened to another sub? (10/15/2012 11:08:56 PM)
She's been sucking him off so this doesn't seen to be his problem. I do hope she's will let us know what happens. He seems a little selfish and she's going to have to "rethink" what it is she is really being trained for.

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