RE: Bisexual submissive women (Full Version)

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SinFix -> RE: Bisexual submissive women (10/1/2012 2:49:07 PM)

FR
The whole couples looking when I was single, was out of this world. As most have said it is some sub female that doesn't mind getting drunk and playing while the D type watches or joins.. I did my share of threesomes when I was younger, they hold no appeal for me anymore.
To me Bi is how I define myself, I either engage in relationships with men or with women. To me it is about the feelings and emotions that person evokes in me than about the sex. My relationships have never been entered into based on their gender, but rather the respect, trust, love, and enjoyment I get out of being with that person.
Now if I were to engage in a "poly" dynamic" it would be with the understanding that I would not want the D type to have any control over me and would prefer them to not even be involved except if he needed to have some influence over his/her own sub. Not sure how I would handle a D/D type dynamic with both wanting to be involved, that would take major communication and delicate handling.



LaTigresse -> RE: Bisexual submissive women (10/1/2012 2:53:55 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

'Lipstick lesbians', as they became known here.




Here, that term is used for lesbian women that are more feminine and dress in a feminine way.

Most of the Iowa City crew are neutral at best. It's not PC to be a lipstick lesbian.



fucktoyprincess -> RE: Bisexual submissive women (10/1/2012 2:54:20 PM)

FR

As I read through this thread, it seems to me more that separate from the label, people would just like people to be up front about what it is that they seek, because, after all, we all have our own interests, desires, and personal situations, and we are always trying to fit people into that. Well, it makes it very difficult to do that when people are not up front about who and what exactly they seek.

I never play with couples unless they "woo" me as a couple pretty much from the outset. Any couple who wants to add a third in any capacity - both people in that couple have to be willing to take the time and effort to get to know me first. And I never interact sexually with anyone unless I'm attracted to them. So the whole, well it's enough if you know one part of the couple - well, actually, no. If the intent is for all three to interact, then I have to feel an attraction to both people. I've met couples where I've been a little sad that the woman was not looking on her own because her male counterpart held zero interest for me. I have to find the man attractive separately from the woman....



PeonForHer -> RE: Bisexual submissive women (10/1/2012 3:33:27 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

'Lipstick lesbians', as they became known here.




Here, that term is used for lesbian women that are more feminine and dress in a feminine way.

Most of the Iowa City crew are neutral at best. It's not PC to be a lipstick lesbian.



What I find fascinating is the difference between the sexes re bi-inclinations. I've known entirely het women who've claimed that they'd have no qualms kissing other women - but the bi men I've known have generally claimed that, though they've had fantasies about giving men BJs, couldn't ever bring themselves to *kiss* other men. I've had male-BJ fantasies myself - but, kiss a man? Yuck. Big faces, bristly chins? Never! Funny.

Back to the topic: I think that, by now, a woman being bisexual has, as an image, gone beyond being just something that's a hit with the lads because it feeds into said lads' three-in-a-bed fantasies. Bi women are seen as wilder and more 'dangerous', and stuff. Sharon Stone's character in 'Basic Instinct' did a lot to boost that particular idea. 'A strong and gutsy woman gets off with both sexes and the fact that this characteristic gives men boners is purely incidental' - that kind of thing.



kalikshama -> RE: Bisexual submissive women (10/1/2012 3:39:25 PM)

quote:

Though I have thus far had EXACTLY NO LUCK with my two men DP scene. I am thinking that I need two bisexual men who have already gotten together. Who can follow directions. Because it's all about me. ALL ABOUT ME.


My most successful DP was with two in-shape het 20 somethings, one of whom liked to choreograph [8D]

Before I discovered BDSM, my favorite form of sexual expression was threesomes. I didn't have a preference for FMF or FMM, as long as I got lots of attention [:)]

I had a 15 year relationship with a woman, but all of our sex was when there was a man present - her boyfriends or mine, or guys we picked up in bars. Or hitchhiking. Those were the days.

I have also had relationships with just women, and I'm not opposed to doing this again, but when it comes to online dating, I only look at male profiles. I'm leery of bisexuals, cuz two of them broke my heart by leaving me for men.

I often don't list myself as bi because that leads to chicks trying to procure me for their man [:'(]



descrite -> RE: Bisexual submissive women (10/1/2012 3:51:36 PM)

quote:

It is called a divorce settlement.


Proven fact: it is 100% impossible to get divorced if you don't get married.

Effect, meet cause.

This, right here, is the smartest thing ever said:

quote:

people would just like people to be up front about what it is that they seek, because, after all, we all have our own interests, desires, and personal situations, and we are always trying to fit people into that.


Thanks, FTP.





Titaniya -> RE: Bisexual submissive women (10/1/2012 4:58:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

And, for what it's worth, I think I have a different definition of bi than some do. I don't base it on the "relationship" hinge. I base it on independent (meaning no other influence) sexual attraction and sexual engagement with both genders.



I agree with this. I think this is the point where the distinction between "bisexuality" and "biamory" becomes useful, although I recognize the second term isn't common. What that does, though, is make a distinction between being sexually attracted to both (binary) genders and being capable of falling in love with both.

I disagree with this:


quote:

ORIGINAL: Extravagasm

You have it right, Lady H, although most of society is absolutely snowblind about this. Sexual orientation is really really not about sex. Its about which gender(s) one can have a romantic affinity for. A potential love bond. Or passionate affection.




I don't think a person needs to be capable of falling in love with someone in order to be capable of sexual attraction (there's a group that calls themselves "aromantic" but still has sex), and I don't think a person needs to be capable of sexual attraction in order to be capable of falling in love ("asexual" people who still develop romantic relationships). Thus, I think it's reasonable to be sexually attracted to some people and romantically attracted to others. In the context of this thread, I think the people being discussed fall into maybe three groups: 1. Straight girls who put on shows.; 2. Bisexual heteroamorous girls who aren't romantically attracted to other girls, but are actually sexually attracted to them.; 3. Bisexual biamorous girls, or people who feel they fall into that group most closely of the options given (If can't they can't list themselves as "heteroflexible" or "pansexual," they might feel "bisexual" is the best alternative.)

Now - I identify as bisexual to keep things simple. More specifically, I'm bisexual-leaning-lesbian but biamorous. I'm more likely to be sexually attracted to a girl and thus more likely to make out with one, but I'm about equally likely to be romantically attracted to guys and girls. (When I'm drunk, I'm more likely to make out with people in general, but I'm more likely to make out with girls because I find more of them attractive regardless of my sobriety or lack thereof.)



Titaniya -> RE: Bisexual submissive women (10/1/2012 5:02:10 PM)

Bah. Had an issue. Move along, please. :)



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Bisexual submissive women (10/1/2012 5:05:03 PM)

Just to muddy the water, I am totally capable of romantic relationships with women.



PeonForHer -> RE: Bisexual submissive women (10/1/2012 5:08:16 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Titaniya

Bah. Had an issue. Move along, please. :)


Congratulations! Boy or girl, Titaniya?



kitkat105 -> RE: Bisexual submissive women (10/1/2012 5:19:51 PM)

There are definitely women (or girls) who are attracted to the idea of having sex with another woman. It is definitely just a phase for them. Being "bi curious" doesn't seem to be a phrase used much anymore. Being "bi" has become fashionable... 40 years ago it would've just been being promiscuous.

I list myself as bisexual, because for as long as I can remember, I have been sexually attracted to both genders but also happy to be in a relationship with either. I am attracted to the person first. Yes, I'm a newlywed in a heterosexual marriage, but that's because He was the right person who came along. If it were a she, that's who I'd happily be with also.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Bisexual submissive women (10/1/2012 5:22:18 PM)

Perhaps it has to do with more young people being openly gay? I know when I was young NO ONE at my school was out, but there were plenty of lesbians.



Titaniya -> RE: Bisexual submissive women (10/1/2012 5:38:54 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer


quote:

ORIGINAL: Titaniya

Bah. Had an issue. Move along, please. :)


Congratulations! Boy or girl, Titaniya?


No one's really sure which pronouns to use.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Bisexual submissive women (10/1/2012 5:43:54 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Titaniya


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer


quote:

ORIGINAL: Titaniya

Bah. Had an issue. Move along, please. :)


Congratulations! Boy or girl, Titaniya?


No one's really sure which pronouns to use.


Please, make sure they don't change according to the amount of daylight...I'm still recovering from that fetlife moment...



NuevaVida -> RE: Bisexual submissive women (10/1/2012 5:55:57 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

'Lipstick lesbians', as they became known here.




Here, that term is used for lesbian women that are more feminine and dress in a feminine way.


Here, too.

This is an interesting topic for me. I've always been what's been known as "bi-curious." I did have a sexual encounter with a woman, many many years ago, and I didn't like it much - partially because I wasn't attracted to her, and mostly because I wasn't even comfortable in my own skin or my own body, to be able to feel good about touching another woman's.

But I find women, for the most part, to be incredibly attractive. And every so often I feel a real chemistry with someone, and really *want* to explore each other sexually.

I don't list myself as bisexual because I can't honestly say that I am. And there's no option (last I checked, anyway) for bicurious or heteroflexible. If I remember correctly, I didn't check any of the boxes - straight, bi, etc.

Yes it's true the Mister would like to enjoy a threesome with me and another. But he's also open to me exploring this "curiosity" (much as I hate calling it that - it seems to shallow-ize it too much), on my own. He feels it would be good for me to explore this without him, so I don't feel any pressure (real or imagined) and so I can decide on my own how I feel about it. And also to take away any feelings of insecurity that may come up if my first time includes his participation, too.

I wouldn't want to put myself out there for the purpose of "procuring" another woman for us, under false advertising. I haven't approached anyone here, and if someone approached me, I'd fully disclose what I'm all about.

The comments from women on this thread have been enlightening to me, though, and I appreciate the insight that's been shared.



LadyPact -> RE: Bisexual submissive women (10/1/2012 6:03:35 PM)

Titaniya, I thought that was a wonderful post. Very informative.



Titaniya -> RE: Bisexual submissive women (10/1/2012 6:11:40 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Titaniya, I thought that was a wonderful post. Very informative.



Thank you. I am properly flattered. :)



littlewonder -> RE: Bisexual submissive women (10/1/2012 9:29:11 PM)

quote:

All of this, of course, is said with an apology to littlewonder, but I think by now she knows that I kind of enjoy her suffering.


As He likes to remind me of quite often. [sm=poke.gif]



yourdarkdesire -> RE: Bisexual submissive women (10/1/2012 11:23:08 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
It is a true fact that I have never understood the point of a man and two women. Because even *I* wouldn't have any use for the man if there was a hot chick. Except to bring us lovely beverages, and be erect as necessary.
It's like I always say, do the math.

The man is going to, shall we say, expire at some point of a sexual adventure. If he's got the ability to get hard again, his performance/orgasm isn't going to be as good after the first one.

On the other hand, I can have unlimited orgasms and they get better as I go along.

Now, which really makes more sense? A guy with two chicks or one female with two men?





I quite like the one chick with two guys, but the night with three guys was super super hot!



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Bisexual submissive women (10/2/2012 8:08:44 AM)

DAMMIT BEERBUG! [>:]



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