RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (Full Version)

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VideoAdminChi -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/3/2012 5:56:10 AM)

quote:

I don't think you do know, it's crazyml that HAS missed the point with both his posts and used abusive language on his second answer, people like him make these message boards unpleasant for everyone.


If you feel that a post is abusive, feel free to use the Report feature. If you first familiarize yourself with the TOS, forum guidelines, and this recent post, you will find that use of the F word as done by crazyml does not violate site guidelines.

If you wish to discuss this further, you may comment on any of the Moderation threads.

Not, let's return to the topic of the OP.




Neckbone -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/3/2012 6:11:28 AM)

Too submissive, not too subservient, they're not the same thing. I thought this would be a place for some genuine feedback, not something approaching Rowan & Martins laugh in joke wall, various characters with "prickly sarcastic wit", abusive language is abusive language, tongue in cheek or not, it really isn't necessary.
Mime-O-Tron and I are from the same city and visit the same club, (The Pit and The Pendulum) we started talking because we were both wearing the same Kick-Ass T-shirt, if we were the same person, I would have one profile as a switch, he's not a particularly great writer so I re-wrote it for him.
If this is how everybody else on these threads behaves well God bless them, but it's not for me, I misunderstood, my mistake.
Thanks for the comments that have genuinely been helpful.

Neckbone.




AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/3/2012 6:24:13 AM)

OK well let's get back on topic then.

Can you explain the distinction between submissive and subservient? Because there's a lot of overlap in my mind and I want to make sure I'm answering the question properly.

I'm trying to be a voice of reason here, so I'm not taking sides but rather trying to point out there aren't really sides to take. And yes, when you come into an internet community there are always going to be personalities to contend with, that's part of the appeal for many people and stops it becoming a dry list of facts. Sadly that also means there will be people you don't get along with.

Mime-o-tron has one of the most amusing profiles I've read in a long time, so well done to whichever one of you wrote it.




crazyml -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/3/2012 7:39:28 AM)

Warning.... Sarcasm and snarkiness ahead.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MimeOTron


quote:

ORIGINAL: Alecta


quote:

ORIGINAL: Neckbone
It seems to me the only person here with their "panties in a twist" would be yourself.



I don't know about that... from where I'm sitting, the only person with knotted panties seems to be you right now.


I don't think you do know, it's crazyml that HAS missed the point with both his posts and used abusive language on his second answer, people like him make these message boards unpleasant for everyone.


Oh fuck me, Mr or Ms one post has something to say about these boards.

Well I'm naturally going to pay a lot of fucking attention to this post.





GreedyTop -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/3/2012 7:41:56 AM)

I actually find MLs posts to be entertaining, and usually spot on, even if couched in sarcastic/dry wit manners.

I also find it amusing to see the twisted panty replies even AFTER it has been explained that his posts are usually tongue in cheek/sarcastic/dry Brit humour.






crazyml -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/3/2012 7:55:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Neckbone

"Now I'm going to give you an example of how patronising might look" you just can't help yourself can you? But what you fail to understand is that's it's so very easy to do, for example the use of the word workshop as a verb it at best lazy, I wouldn't consider it to be literate (unless of course we were putting on a stage production)


Well, I did feel that you needed an example. You reacted in a pretty childish manner to my first post.

quote:



Did you compare your answer to the others on this post? It seems to me the only person here with their "panties in a twist" would be yourself.


Yep. I've carefully compared my answer to the others on this post. And I'm really happy with it. Instead of throwing you a fish, I've set out to give you a net.

Let me explain why, in a non snarky way.

"can a willingness to please a Domme in every other aspect of a relationship be a turn off, even if she believes it to be genuine? "

Honestly, this struck me as a very silly question. Because, if you'd considered it for long you'd have to know that the only correct answer to it is...

"Of course it can be, for some."

As a regular on these boards, one of the most depressing (and all too frequent) types of post is the "I can't be arsed to think this one through, can someone do my thinking for me?" post.

I asked you a couple of questions, and yes - my "let's workshop this" was a little patronising - But given the facile nature of the question, you set yourself up for it good and proper.


I asked -

"Can you remember a time in your life when someone's willingness to help annoyed you?"

I'm asking you to reflect a little. I'm asking you to get off your mental backside and think about this.

I can certainly give examples of when someone's willingness to help has annoyed me. Times when I've wanted to figure it out for myself, or when - actually - I really like cooking, I enjoy the process, and having an over willing sub barge in and insist on chopping the onions for me is really annoying.

"Can you imagine a situation where a domme might find an excess of "willingness to please" a little bit irritating?"

Now I'm asking you to consider it from the domme's point of view. So you might have considered the domme's need for a bit of peace and quiet. You might have considered her preference for doing some things on her own.

"Now... if you're really interested in pleasing, what do you think you need to do in order to avoid irritating a domme? "

I'm assuming that your desire is to please, this last one was to get you to consider what tactics you might adopt to strike the right balance. You're evidently smart... so I'm pretty sure that "communicate" would have been high on the list.

So.... far from being an unhelpful post, I do hope you can see that - no I wasn't going to answer your question for you, that would have been lazy of me. Indeed, I'd have either been wrong (because there really isn't an absolute answer to your question) or very general (which wouldn't have provided you with a useful way to move forward with your problem).

No... in my generosity of spirit I took time out of my fucking busy day, not to feed you for a day, but to give you a way of feeding yourself for life.

I was helping you discover your own inner wisdom, to exercise your own innate capacity for introspection and thought.

<ok... now a little snark and patronisation to close with - because yanno, I can't help myself!>

Now, I am desperately sorry if you lack the maturity to undertake my challenge, and I am broken up with remorse at the thought that I might have cast a pall over your otherwise sunny day but I am utterly content for others to read what I've written and read what you've written and draw whatever conclusion they fucking want to about which of us is out of order.

[ED to fix the two typos I spotted]




LadyHibiscus -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/3/2012 8:07:46 AM)

Thank you, Crazy. We women couldn't have said that, because then we'd have been accused of being bitchy wimmin, or some such. Oh, that happened to you, too...

~~

See where it says Delicate Flower under my name? Think about that, fragile newcomers. You are getting huffy over posts on the internet that are not worded to your exacting standards.

What will your response be when a dominant woman says something to your face, that you don't like?





LaTigresse -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/3/2012 8:25:47 AM)

I just had a vision of a full on tantrum. Complete with tossing themselves on the floor, kicking and screaming, crying........screaming something like "You are not a REAL and TRUE Domme!"




Neckbone -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/3/2012 8:46:20 AM)

I'm sorry if you've taken time out of your "fucking busy day" to completely miss the point(again), so busy in fact that you can't even be bothered to check over what you've written, but I'll five you that, it's easily done.
I mentioned preference lists in my question, but you seem to leave that part out when you're quoting it, read it again and see if you can consider the question in context. Also the word submissive as opposed to the word subservient. perhaps if a "literate chap" such as yourself did that instead of becoming over excited at the prospect of another bargain basement Simon Cowell rant you'd look a little bit more intelligent from where I'm standing, and I might take you seriously. The most depressing thing about this isn't so much to do with your comments, but the level of self importance that oozes out of them and of course, the self delusion.
As it is, a few people have messaged me, and I have all the input I need, so try not to worry your little head about it from now on, or at least don't bother telling me about it if you do, the lack of intelligence not just in your responses, but your desire to be an "online personality"..... well I suppose if it wasn't so sad it might just be a little bit funny, but personally I've always hated X factor.




LaTigresse -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/3/2012 8:49:44 AM)

Well, that wasn't exactly the tantrum I envisioned, but it's not bad. As tantrums go...




crazyml -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/3/2012 8:55:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Neckbone

I'm sorry if you've taken time out of your "fucking busy day" to completely miss the point(again), so busy in fact that you can't even be bothered to check over what you've written, but I'll five you that, it's easily done.
I mentioned preference lists in my question, but you seem to leave that part out when you're quoting it, read it again and see if you can consider the question in context. Also the word submissive as opposed to the word subservient. perhaps if a "literate chap" such as yourself did that instead of becoming over excited at the prospect of another bargain basement Simon Cowell rant you'd look a little bit more intelligent from where I'm standing, and I might take you seriously. The most depressing thing about this isn't so much to do with your comments, but the level of self importance that oozes out of them and of course, the self delusion.
As it is, a few people have messaged me, and I have all the input I need, so try not to worry your little head about it from now on, or at least don't bother telling me about it if you do, the lack of intelligence not just in your responses, but your desire to be an "online personality"..... well I suppose if it wasn't so sad it might just be a little bit funny, but personally I've always hated X factor.



Oh I just wanted to quote this in case you chose to edit it.

It's ok if you think I'm a patronising ass hat. It really is. Just as it's ok if I think you're a puerile little shitbag! It really is ok.





LadyHibiscus -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/3/2012 8:56:05 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Neckbone

I'm sorry if you've taken time out of your "fucking busy day" to completely miss the point(again), so busy in fact that you can't even be bothered to check over what you've written, but I'll five you that, it's easily done.
I mentioned preference lists in my question, but you seem to leave that part out when you're quoting it, read it again and see if you can consider the question in context. Also the word submissive as opposed to the word subservient. perhaps if a "literate chap" such as yourself did that instead of becoming over excited at the prospect of another bargain basement Simon Cowell rant you'd look a little bit more intelligent from where I'm standing, and I might take you seriously. The most depressing thing about this isn't so much to do with your comments, but the level of self importance that oozes out of them and of course, the self delusion.
As it is, a few people have messaged me, and I have all the input I need, so try not to worry your little head about it from now on, or at least don't bother telling me about it if you do, the lack of intelligence not just in your responses, but your desire to be an "online personality"..... well I suppose if it wasn't so sad it might just be a little bit funny, but personally I've always hated X factor.




Here's a little tidbit for you... all these posts, where you're acting like a whining teenager? Are up here forever and ever, and as long as you use this nic, anyone can read them, and attach them to you.

The thing with women is that we pay attention to how men behave everywhere. The man that is nice as pie to me, but obnoxious to a stranger isn't going to be seeing me anymore. Take that observation as you will.




crazyml -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/3/2012 8:58:32 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Neckbone

I'm not really talking about sexual practices because they're usually clearly defined on profiles (hard limits etc) but can a willingness to please a Domme in every other aspect of a relationship be a turn off, even if she believes it to be genuine?

FTR




GreedyTop -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/3/2012 9:10:00 AM)

~FR~ I think neckbone should pay close attention to MLs sigline, and look in a mirror.




LadyHibiscus -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/3/2012 9:10:49 AM)

He's 37! Christ on a crumpet.

My appreciation for someone or other increases daily.




GreedyTop -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/3/2012 9:12:03 AM)

agreed.




Neckbone -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/3/2012 9:38:33 AM)

No I don't think you're a patronising ass hat, more of an unintelligent attention seeker.




LadyHibiscus -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/3/2012 9:42:37 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Neckbone

No I don't think you're a patronising ass hat, more of an unintelligent attention seeker.



And you would be...?




LaTigresse -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/3/2012 9:42:37 AM)

Bound and determined to make a fool of yourself aren't you?

Crzyml is not always a poster I agree with. Hell, we may have even disagreed openly a time or two, I don't remember.

Regardless of all of that, unintelligent is hardly a descriptor I would use.

As for attention seeking......we all are. Otherwise why are we posting?




GreedyTop -> RE: Is it possible to be too submissive? (10/3/2012 9:54:13 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Neckbone

No I don't think you're a patronising ass hat, more of an unintelligent attention seeker.

you DO realize that the women you are trying to attract can see your posts, and anyone elses, by using a handy button from profiles, right?


They can discover that MLs posts are consistently tongue in cheek and advertised as such?

and YOUR posts in response to him have been invariably defensive?




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