Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: How do you feel its appropriate to address a sub/slave on first contact?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: How do you feel its appropriate to address a sub/slave on first contact? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: How do you feel its appropriate to address a sub/sl... - 10/13/2012 3:36:11 PM   
sandelwoodrose


Posts: 14
Joined: 10/3/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

That's like saying you have to earn respect. Respect is free, you should give it away until some loses it. Not showing good manners is disrespectful and speaks poorly of you . . .


I see it differently. Common courtesies are free...even when it pains me to extend them. Respect must always be earned.

_____________________________

carpe yolo, motherfucker.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: How do you feel its appropriate to address a sub/sl... - 10/13/2012 4:35:00 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wnyThroatLover

I've been a waiter. If anyone ever referred to me as such ("Hi, I'm Mike and I'll be your waiter tonight." - "Nice to meet you, Waiter.") I would be radically offended...

I probably would have walked around with their food in the back of my pants before I brought it to them...and then told them about it as they were whiping the last bits of ass hamburger off their face. I have a handle and I took the time to tell it to you (or you looked at it when you checked out my profile)...fucking use it!

As for me; I use user names, nicknames, or actual names as denoted by the profile.

Kana sez, "OK, Garcon"

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to wnyThroatLover)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: How do you feel its appropriate to address a sub/sl... - 10/13/2012 4:42:04 PM   
BoundSlave4Life


Posts: 116
Joined: 7/25/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wnyThroatLover

I've been a waiter. If anyone ever referred to me as such ("Hi, I'm Mike and I'll be your waiter tonight." - "Nice to meet you, Waiter.") I would be radically offended...

I probably would have walked around with their food in the back of my pants before I brought it to them...and then told them about it as they were whiping the last bits of ass hamburger off their face. I have a handle and I took the time to tell it to you (or you looked at it when you checked out my profile)...fucking use it!

As for me; I use user names, nicknames, or actual names as denoted by the profile.




To be fair -- If the waiters didn't have a name tag, I may call them "Waiter" because I'm just horrible with names... And sometimes the restaurant is too loud to hear them.

(in reply to wnyThroatLover)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: How do you feel its appropriate to address a sub/sl... - 10/13/2012 10:33:06 PM   
samdarella


Posts: 222
Joined: 8/23/2010
Status: offline
Myotherself...you crack me up. I like your style. Yes it is fun to mess with people sometimes. Especially if they take themselves too seriously.

I personally don't sweat the small stuff. It doesnt bother me a bit to have been called girl, slave, or little one. Cunt I think you should know me well and slut, well I am what I am. When I was a bartender I got called bartender. Even bar wench. Fuck it, tip me enough and you could call me almost anything. When I was a waitress I was never offended to be called as such. To me using my name shows a familiarity. Even though I spent way too much time here when I was single, I still had real life stuff to worry about and never bothered to be upset by online shit.

Online i called a few people sir or ma'm as a show of respect. In real life Master likes me to be respectful and I use sir a lot more often than I used to. The only time I call someone master besides Master is when I am referring to or introducing someone that is a Master, as in their craft or has earned their Master's cap. When I am speaking directly to them I say sir unless we are good friends in a non leather way. Then I use their name.

Don't take the online stuff too seriously. It's all fantasy until its real.

_____________________________

Take me to the edge.

Pain is....

(in reply to BoundSlave4Life)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: How do you feel its appropriate to address a sub/sl... - 10/26/2012 2:20:37 AM   
y687master


Posts: 14
Joined: 10/17/2012
Status: offline
First off, let me state that I understand and can agree with the personal opinions that have been mention in the posts previous to mine.
Let’s put some things into perspective. To me as a self identified Master/Daddy, there is nothing wrong with showing some respect. Most of the time, it is the difference between a chat with an unknown friend and a serious discussion with someone who knows what they want and are after.
If you are uncomfortable with showing that respect, then simply state so in the conversation or on your profile.
If you have taken the time in the profile to identify yourself as a sub/slave/son/girl; then why would you be offended by being referred to as such? It's kind of like saying he/she, my and yours are to impersonal and I should always be identified by the name I was given or have chosen. Just saying.
Isn't life is difficult enough already without inventing unknown ways someone can piss you off or upset you.
This whole lifestyle relies on effective communication, right???
I do agree, we all have profiles set up, if someone wishes to initiate communication then by all means, they should have at least read the profile. If you want someone to read your journal, reference that in your profile to. For those who are journal writers, be kind enough to reference a link to your intro journal.
Just my thoughts and opinions on the matter.
Master Devan

(in reply to DaddySatyr)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: How do you feel its appropriate to address a sub/sl... - 10/26/2012 4:26:52 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: y687master

there is nothing wrong with showing some respect.


Agreed. Nothing wrong at all. But expecting it is wrong. We're talking the difference between a freely given gift and a demanded one.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to y687master)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: How do you feel its appropriate to address a sub/sl... - 10/26/2012 5:45:57 AM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: y687master
If you have taken the time in the profile to identify yourself as a sub/slave/son/girl; then why would you be
offended by being referred to as such? This whole lifestyle relies on effective communication, right???

Let's pretend for a minute that this is a Foodies website, and we can choose to list ourselves as either
a vegetarian or a carnivore. I will list myself as a carnivore, and choose the name Salami4Me.
Now, would you find it more appropriate to address me by my preferred food of choice, or as Salami4Me?

Why does being in the lifestyle change the rules of initial engagement?

< Message edited by poise -- 10/26/2012 5:46:27 AM >


_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to y687master)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: How do you feel its appropriate to address a sub/sl... - 10/26/2012 7:46:10 AM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

Why wouldn't you call a slave "slave" or a Master "Master" even if you weren't intamately familiar with them?



Because they have a name. He may consider himself a Master, but he isn't MY master.

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: How do you feel its appropriate to address a sub/sl... - 10/26/2012 8:07:29 AM   
smartsub10


Posts: 865
Joined: 4/23/2010
Status: offline
quote:

Salami4Me


This is as clever as it is hilarious.

_____________________________

Beauty fades...stupid is forever
~ Judge Judith Scheindlin
____________________________________________

“Be that self which one truly is" ~Soren Kierkegaard

(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: How do you feel its appropriate to address a sub/sl... - 10/26/2012 11:29:41 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: y687master

First off, let me state that I understand and can agree with the personal opinions that have been mention in the posts previous to mine.
Let’s put some things into perspective. To me as a self identified Master/Daddy, there is nothing wrong with showing some respect. Most of the time, it is the difference between a chat with an unknown friend and a serious discussion with someone who knows what they want and are after.
If you are uncomfortable with showing that respect, then simply state so in the conversation or on your profile.
If you have taken the time in the profile to identify yourself as a sub/slave/son/girl; then why would you be offended by being referred to as such? It's kind of like saying he/she, my and yours are to impersonal and I should always be identified by the name I was given or have chosen. Just saying.
Isn't life is difficult enough already without inventing unknown ways someone can piss you off or upset you.
This whole lifestyle relies on effective communication, right???
I do agree, we all have profiles set up, if someone wishes to initiate communication then by all means, they should have at least read the profile. If you want someone to read your journal, reference that in your profile to. For those who are journal writers, be kind enough to reference a link to your intro journal.
Just my thoughts and opinions on the matter.
Master Devan


The profile identification simply means that given how I want to play, that is what I would consider myself. I am NOT your slave/sub. So until I am your sub/slave, I'm just a normal stranger passing you on the street. It's like calling a woman "Miss" or Mrs" just because she's a woman instead of addressing myself as "Ms." because I am not your wife and you have no clue about who I am.

That you assume that just because someone calls them a certain term, gives you the right to call them that is just misogynistic to me.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to y687master)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: How do you feel its appropriate to address a sub/sl... - 10/26/2012 12:37:23 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

See how I didn't to the "C'mere peaches, I've got some salami for you!" gag?

<very proud of myself for my self restraint>

quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

quote:

ORIGINAL: y687master
If you have taken the time in the profile to identify yourself as a sub/slave/son/girl; then why would you be
offended by being referred to as such? This whole lifestyle relies on effective communication, right???

Let's pretend for a minute that this is a Foodies website, and we can choose to list ourselves as either
a vegetarian or a carnivore. I will list myself as a carnivore, and choose the name Salami4Me.
Now, would you find it more appropriate to address me by my preferred food of choice, or as Salami4Me?

Why does being in the lifestyle change the rules of initial engagement?



_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: How do you feel its appropriate to address a sub/sl... - 10/26/2012 12:42:57 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I show civility, not respect for every single person I meet. Respect is an honor given to very few in my life. I can count on one hand who have that from me. And no I don't call every doctor "doctor" or every waiter, "waiter". A doctor is still a person like everyone else until they are MY doctor. All waiters usually get a hand gesture from me. And I don't call everyone who thinks he's a Master, "Master". Master to me is reserved for MY Master only.


This.

I know a few people that are Dr's (medical or otherwise).

It would be very hard for me to call Dr Phillips "Dr", or even "Nick" (which is his first name), I call him Grolsch because that was the stuff he puked all over my lap on his 18th birthday party. I've no doubt he's Dr to his patients but he's Grolsch to me.

It makes absolutely no sense to me to refer to someone who isn't my slave as "slave", just as it seems absurd to me that someone who calls themselves "Master" should get miffed if someone to whom he isn't a master chooses not to call him that.


_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: How do you feel its appropriate to address a sub/sl... - 10/26/2012 1:14:30 PM   
y687master


Posts: 14
Joined: 10/17/2012
Status: offline
quote:


ORIGINAL: y687master

... there is nothing wrong with showing some respect. ...

quote:

Original: DarkSteven

Agreed. Nothing wrong at all. But expecting it is wrong. We're talking the difference between a freely given gift and a demanded one.

_____________________________

I agree with you wholeheartedly.

Devi's Advocate time: But should someone have the balls to demand respect, one would think that should be pointed out in their profile. That way for those who would be offended by such, they have the choice to ignore to their hearts content.

< Message edited by y687master -- 10/26/2012 1:19:09 PM >

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: How do you feel its appropriate to address a sub/sl... - 10/26/2012 1:23:40 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: y687master
Devi's Advocate time: But should someone have the balls to demand respect, one would think that should be pointed out in their profile. That way for those who would be offended by such, they have the choice to ignore to their hearts content.


Hell yes.

I expect that some subs would see the demand for respect pointed out and regard it as ballsy and hot, while others would think.... well, let's stick to "something less flattering".

But that's fine - the ones who dig it email and meet etc, and the ones that don't dig it find someone else.

Suits me down to the ground, because the kind of sub that would regard a demand for instant respect a sign of "having balls" happens to be very unlikely to be the kind of sub I'd be attracted to.

I think it's a win all round.


_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to y687master)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: How do you feel its appropriate to address a sub/sl... - 10/26/2012 2:53:29 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml
See how I didn't do the "C'mere peaches, I've got some salami for you!" gag?
<very proud of myself for my self restraint>

Does this mean you were playing "hide the salami" then?


_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to crazyml)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: How do you feel its appropriate to address a sub/sl... - 10/26/2012 4:30:07 PM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: poise


quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml
See how I didn't do the "C'mere peaches, I've got some salami for you!" gag?
<very proud of myself for my self restraint>

Does this mean you were playing "hide the salami" then?


Coulda been hide the pickle?

_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".


(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: How do you feel its appropriate to address a sub/sl... - 10/26/2012 5:26:54 PM   
absolutchocolat


Posts: 1392
Status: offline
i'm okay with people who refer to me as "slave" on first contact, because they've taken the time to weed themselves out of my world before entering it. saves me the trouble. it's kind of presumptuous and arrogant, IMO.

if your ego is so big that you can't call me by my screenname for a bit as we get to know each other, then you're probably not my type. but hey, to each their own.

(in reply to y687master)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: How do you feel its appropriate to address a sub/sl... - 10/26/2012 6:39:32 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
yup, it made my life easier when I was single. Delete without a response.

Now if someone says that I will do one of two things, depending on my mood....delete without a response or say to them "huh...who knew. Master never told me he sold me. How much did you get? I hope you didn't settle."

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to absolutchocolat)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: How do you feel its appropriate to address a sub/sl... - 10/26/2012 11:47:50 PM   
saundrakitty


Posts: 148
Joined: 9/11/2012
Status: offline
i also don't like it either when they call me subbie/sub/slave/ bitch/ or cunt in their first email when contacting me, as i am a person first and foremost and a little respect during inital contact is going to get me to a response, and i will respond with respect back if given. Had one send me an email: Bitch email right now Master. I just deleted it.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: How do you feel its appropriate to address a sub/sl... - 10/27/2012 12:22:31 AM   
PrincessBrienna


Posts: 17
Joined: 10/22/2012
Status: offline
Well said OsideGirl! There is a BIG difference between courtesy and respect. Courtesy is expected of you by doing simple things but respect is earned, it never comes free. 90% of the Doms that have contacted me so far have addressed me as "slave, animal, fucktoy, cunt, whore, pig..." how about just not addressing me at all and just introducing yourself?

"Good afternoon from a white dominant in Vero Beach Florida. You have a great profile. Let's talk.

M"

The message above was the first message I received from my current Daddy Dom, very simple and he was very different from the rest. I just had to reply and we are such a great match... He never addressed me as his Baby Girl until we were solid, he asked for my first name and addressed me as such.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 60
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: How do you feel its appropriate to address a sub/slave on first contact? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.105