MAINEiacMISTRESS
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Joined: 9/12/2012
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MariaB
quote:
ORIGINAL: BoundSlave4Life
Frankly, I would like to see an option here for "DS Status" that says "Kinkster", because in my personal opinion, the people that view D/s or M/s to be purely sexual aren't Domiants, or submissives or Masters or slaves because there's no power exchange outside of the bedroom.
Now lets take me as an example... I'm dominant in nature and so is my husband. Of the two of us he is the more, shall we say, 'pernickety', more insistent about things being done right and being done 'NOW'. He's not particularly patient and he's absolutely intolerant of fools. When he talks I pay full attention to what he's saying. Yeah hard guy to live with if your not a submisive?!? wrong! As his wife and as someone who loves him and as someone who knows just how hard he works I am more than happy, in fact I am very happy to make sure his life runs as smoothly as silk. He wants for nothing. Our home is always clean, his dinner is always made and all the rest. I don't get turned on when I'm baking him his favorite chocolate cake and I don't get turned on when I'm scrubbing out the shower tray. I'm happy when he's happy and I'm very happy when I know its me that has made him happy. That has nothing to do with dominance and submission and all to do with having a healthy loving relationship. What doesn't make this D/s? well for a start I don't get turned on by what I do for him.
Actually this IS a D/s relationship, with your Husband the Dominant, and you His submissive. Getting pleasure from providing His meals on time, cleaning His home, giving Him all the comforts He needs to be happy and making sure "he wants for nothing" is what being a GOOD submissive is all about. This is precisely what good D/s service submissives seek to provide their Dominants. It has NOTHING to do with being a wife, unless you take the old fashioned view that a wife SERVES, which it seems you do, and that's perfectly fine if that's the way you prefer to express your love for Him. Many modern wives have better paying careers than their husbands, own the vehicles, own the house (as I myself do)...and sometimes the husband is perfectly happy maintaining the couple's "homestead", fixing the vehicles, even staying home to raise the kids (if it's he who is the more nurturing parent, I say go for it). Each relationship is different, and partners have different ways of expressing love for one another, but I'm straying from My point here.
The fact that you are AGGRESSIVE toward others doesn't make you a Dominant (and I believe a few others have been pointing this out), I've got one subby who's a complete asshole to others and picks fights with strangers, yet he yields himself to Me. Your sentence, "When he talks I pay full attention to what he's saying," sums up the dynamics in your relationship beautifully. This is D/s, not a Dom/Domme relationship as you are attempting to portray it, if it were D/D He'd be sharing the home duties or else you two would be butting heads--LOUDLY. A Dominant would never put up with having to do ALL the housework, cooking, and pampering. In general, a Dominant's pleasure comes from protecting and guiding (yes, sometimes parent-like, or teacher-like), but not serving. Many submissives YEARN for a relationship like yours where they can provide all the services you provide your Husband. Of course there is no "sexiness" in cleaning the shower, or baking a chocolate cake, but many submissives take pleasure in knowing that what they do makes life more comfortable for their Dominant:
"I am very happy to make sure his life runs as smoothly as silk. He wants for nothing," and "I'm happy when he's happy and I'm very happy when I know its me that has made him happy." <--Beautifully expressed!
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RE: How is it that anyone can possibly separate sex fro... - 
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