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RE: Who really is offline? - 6/14/2006 7:42:09 AM

champagnewishes

Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Brosco
Have you noticed that the regs sound like a 'one true way' crowd.

Bosco, in the short amount of time you have been here, can you honestly believe you are qualified to make such a judgemental statement?

quote:

but come on guys, just consider, has it occurred to you that you turn away newbies daily because you slam them? My sub wont come here and I have a lot of trust in her judgement.
Brosco

With that kind of generalization, one could easily state that just as many regs drop off daily from the newbies coming in posting with a chip on their shoulder, a preconceived notion that their's is the only opinion of value and the best way to get your point across is to speak loudly and point fingers.

_____________________________

Nirvana cannot be described, it is only understood truly by a person who has experienced it.

(in reply to Brosco)

Post #: 81

RE: Who really is offline? - 6/14/2006 7:42:12 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Brosco
Maybe its because the OTW expressed here suits you and therefore you didnt notice,

There are none so blind as those who will not see....

quote:

but seriously to consider this place as one that can help those new, I just cant see it.

Can't or won't? I know a number from here who have made quite the opposite observation.... but then they arrived with somewhat a diffrent 'attitude'

quote:

It just seems a place of regs that use their 'seniority' to shout each other down. There clearly is a lot of knowledge and experience here, but it seems to be spent more on stroking egos, making moral judgements rather than helping others.

Seniority my arse, I've posted pretty much the same way from post #1 here. Yep I have seen plenty of folks butting heads from time to time but I've also seen far more people being 'helped' by getting a wide variety of opinions, points of view and solid info in responce to their questions also!

quote:

I'm not sure what happened to compassion in the lifestyle envisaged here. Its sad to look at bitter men and doormats. I've been in the lefestyle for over 30 years and have never encoutered such people.

Well bully for you, maybe you should get out and about more. Personaly I've found this forum in the main friendly and helpful, far more so than many parts of the 'lifestyle' elsewhere. Come here and accept it for what it is and you come away with a rather positive view.... come on your high horse and bitch because things aren't as YOU want it to be, then your going to get quite a diffrent reaction and thus opinion.

Blunt and straight forward isn't lacking in compassion or friendliness... just lacking in PC bullshit!

quote:

Maybe I just too soft a Dom

Well that wouldn't be MY assessment of your 'problem'... but we are all entitled to our opinions

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to Brosco)

Post #: 82

RE: Who really is offline? - 6/14/2006 7:51:05 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

has it occurred to you that you turn away newbies daily because you slam them?

Brosco,
Applying the term 'newbie' to someone who uses on-lime media as a masturbation aid should be considered an insult. If someone is scared away because a mirror is held up to their activity for what it is it's their own reflection that turns them away not any 'slamming'. No one with confidence fears a challenge. They welcome it as a tool to strengthen what they already believe.

There is no 'experience' that is gained from on-line. There is no fulfillment. There is no reality. You are right to point out that those statements are also true for any post or poster here who is not known first hand. The distinction may be too subtle for you, but reality has very little similarity to any on-line gaming. No amount of shared webcaming, emailing, or chatting compares to even the most gentle touch experienced person to person. A mere glance has more intensity than any on-line 'scene'. I understand to need to rationalize a contrary position if married or committed to another. In fact I respect that, at least in deed if not in thought, those in that type of situation have not broken their vows.

People who post here often do so simply because they can. Some attack, some seek confirmation of their own 'truths', some just see it as a distraction. Others just say what's on their mind, and sometimes it hits home with someone. Others feel there ARE absolutes, there are 'right' and 'wrong' ways not just in reference to any 'lifestyle' but in the world; and post their thoughts for debate. Bottom line, there is no no need to list any reason or justification. But perhaps you can answer a question that I've asked but which I've never received a direct response. Why do you isolate and limit yourself to only derive pleasure from self manipulation, or in mutual long distance masturbation? And why if you are so confident in what you do why worry about other's perception?

(in reply to Brosco)

Post #: 83

RE: Who really is offline? - 6/14/2006 7:52:56 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

quote:

but come on guys, just consider, has it occurred to you that you turn away newbies daily because you slam them? Have you noticed that the regs sound like a 'one true way' crowd. My sub wont come here and I have a lot of trust in her judgement.

I have to admit, I doubt You will respond to my point, based on previous experience, but I would like to ask:

Do you not considered that every one of the 'regulars' here were, at some point, a new poster? If they didn't get slammed and left the forum - why do people like yourself feel you have been? I wasn't born here, Em didn't pop her cherry here(work with me here) and people like meatcleaver, erin or M didn't carve themselves outta the great rock of CM. We all started somewhere.

Peace and Rapture

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to Brosco)

Post #: 84

RE: Who really is offline? - 6/14/2006 7:53:24 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: PlayfulOne
And you need not worry about anyone avoiding you, if LA has something to say she'll say it. I may not personally always agree with her opinions but you will find she generally gives good information and is more often than not very helpful to those with questions and I respect her for that.

K

Thanks Playful. It's good that people find useful stuff here- whether it's from me or not.

And of COURSE Brosco was pointing to me as part of his original post...don't you know the world is all about me and how it can adore me and anyone who does not must be cast asunder?

Um....excuse me? It's all about ME don't you know...Jeez.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 85

RE: Who really is offline? - 6/14/2006 7:54:59 AM

candleTC

Posts: 148
Joined: 5/8/2006
From: Springfield, Il
Status: offline

PAHTAYYYYYY!!!!! WooT WoOt!!

_____________________________

"On my knees, i think clearer"

~Thoughts are like arrows: once released, they strike their mark. Guard them well or one day you may be your own victim. - Navajo Proverb~

(in reply to candleTC)

Post #: 86

RE: Who really is offline? - 6/14/2006 7:56:08 AM

litleone8620

Posts: 3669
Joined: 6/12/2006
Status: offline

I got to this post, and i had to stop and comment.

LA was the very first person who answered my very first thread, so no, i was not ostrasized, or talked down to, or ignored, nor was anybody an 'intolerant git'. Everyone has been very tolerant and patient with my threads and for that i am very grateful.

I doubt LA cares what you think of her.

(in reply to Brosco)

Post #: 87

RE: Who really is offline? - 6/14/2006 7:57:59 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

I wasn't born here, Em didn't pop her cherry here(work with me here) and people like meatcleaver, erin or M didn't carve themselves outta the great rock of CM. We all started somewhere.

Nope...but I've been hit with the great rock of CM a few times....does that count?????....LOL

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 88

RE: Who really is offline? - 6/14/2006 8:06:09 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
Um....excuse me? It's all about ME don't you know...Jeez.

Hey, you're a slave, I'm a switch- which means I'm cooler than you.

But we all rock on CM!

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 89

RE: Who really is offline? - 6/14/2006 8:11:05 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

When I used to go to political chat there would always be some jerk there that would announce to the world that this chatter or that chatter spent all day in chat. I would always ask whomever made this charge "Well, the fact that you are aware of how many hours others spend chatting makes you a very bored individual."

Read what you want, post what you like, take what you need, and then leave the rest. Why try to ridicule people?

On Edit.. Only read the OP and since I have read other posts... I suppose I didn't understand the original post. That being said... I still do not like it when people critique others online habits...

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 6/14/2006 8:16:40 AM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Brosco)

Post #: 90

RE: Who really is offline? - 6/14/2006 8:12:39 AM

litleone8620

Posts: 3669
Joined: 6/12/2006
Status: offline

Brosco:

I don't know whether you're bashing the regulars, or people who 'claim to have a good R/t relationship, then spend their time online bashing online relationships'.

I'm going to ignore the second and work with the first. Could it be because YOU had a bad experience as a newbie, and so you feel vengeful and bitter? Like i said before, the 'regs' have been nothing but helpful to me. Yes, some of them have made me take a good, long, hard look at myself (thanks meatcleaver and LA), but i'm not going to go around saying that they are ignorant gits because of it.

I will always secretly consider myself a newbie (not so secret now though), no matter how many posts i put here. I hope to never stop learning from these forums.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 91

RE: Who really is offline? - 6/14/2006 8:12:51 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse
Quite possibly, however there are other newbies that dive straight in.... the diffrence being those that get slammed tend to be the ones who turn up with negative attitudes. This is a robust forum, not a kindergarten, no-one is mollycoddled here but most of those I have seen turning up with polite questions I have seen time and time again getting a possitive reception.

I got slammed one of my very first threads. It was "The death of a Master thread" when I stated what I learned to be an unpopular opinion. I do not believe my attitude was negative in it at all. I almost didn't come back....but then I'm stubborn.

I understand Brosco's thread was probably created with a notion of frustration. I did enjoy what the OP has written on the "online" topic in other threads. I myself was asked by a poster who has since disappeared (maybe it was his/her name for the day) how can I be effectively serving a Master if I am online so much? It was a silly question by a bitter person. Many of us do have the ability to multitask, and being a slave to someone doesn't mean I crawl around on my hands and knees all day long (although he might like that). I wouldn't be able to reach the top drawer of the filing cabinet at work if I did that. ;)

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 92

RE: Who really is offline? - 6/14/2006 8:13:21 AM

Prunesquallor

Posts: 181
Joined: 10/12/2005
Status: offline

Brosco,

What I see from this thread is that you appear to be the one person with a chip on their shoulder, who finds it necessary to put down others.

So far as LA is concerned, I don't always agree with her - indeed once or twice she has infuriated me - but I have found that her advice comes from a wealth of experience, and she is completely honest and will tell it as it is. I have the greatest respect for her. She is always willing to give an opinion without forcing it. She has the gift of homing in on the centre of the problem. And although I have said I don't always agree with her, from my perspective most of the time her advice is right on the button.

You, so far, have given an opposite impression.

(in reply to Brosco)

Post #: 93

RE: Who really is offline? - 6/14/2006 8:14:07 AM

Brosco

Posts: 238
Joined: 5/29/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: litleone8620

I got to this post, and i had to stop and comment.

LA was the very first person who answered my very first thread, so no, i was not ostrasized, or talked down to, or ignored, nor was anybody an 'intolerant git'. Everyone has been very tolerant and patient with my threads and for that i am very grateful.

I doubt LA cares what you think of her.

Sorry litleone but you must have a misunderstanding... i made no bad feeling about LA .. another accused me of that but was unable to substanciate the claim.

I also truly doubt that LA cares what I think of her.

I posted about a general feeling I have noticed,,,, nothing more ... nothing less

_____________________________

Any Dom that believes he is in complete control ... has a very clever subbie.

(in reply to litleone8620)

Post #: 94

RE: Who really is offline? - 6/14/2006 8:14:50 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
Um....excuse me? It's all about ME don't you know...Jeez.

Hey, you're a slave, I'm a switch- which means I'm cooler than you.

But we all rock on CM!

LMAO!!! Then i gots me sum lernin to do!!!!

And yes, it really is the diversity of opinions that make up a board like this. Otherwise we'd be sitting around all day talking about how great we are - not a bad idea actually, as long as we talk about ME first!!!

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 95

RE: Who really is offline? - 6/14/2006 8:25:28 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
I got slammed one of my very first threads. It was "The death of a Master thread" when I stated what I learned to be an unpopular opinion. I do not believe my attitude was negative in it at all. I almost didn't come back....but then I'm stubborn.

Not all butting of heads is down to negative attitude, but in the main, most newbies who get a negative reaction, that *I* have seen, that is the main reason. Heck I've butted heads with more than a few here, mostly once the issue of strong disagreement is past then its left there and we are back to getting on just like normal

quote:

how can I be effectively serving a Master if I am online so much? It was a silly question by a bitter person. Many of us do have the ability to multitask, and being a slave to someone doesn't mean I crawl around on my hands and knees all day long (although he might like that). I wouldn't be able to reach the top drawer of the filing cabinet at work if I did that. ;)

Not to mention making it awkward for him to kiss his girl when he wants to, having to wait for her to stand up or doing his back in by bending so far.... its bad enough with a short girl, let alone with one on her knees

My girl would be less able to make me happy if she spent less time online.... given we don't live together. We see each other a few times a week but the net is a lot cheeper and more convenient to be in contact when we are both 'at home' than the damn phone.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 96

RE: Who really is offline? - 6/14/2006 8:30:47 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: litleone8620
no matter how many posts i put here. I hope to never stop learning from these forums.

Sweetie, no matter who you are, how 'experienced' you are, how much a 'regular' you are, there should be no time where you can't learn something new!

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to litleone8620)

Post #: 97

RE: Who really is offline? - 6/14/2006 8:31:14 AM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Brosco

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: Brosco
uuummm do you fit that category?

Yes *hangs head in shame* I'm completely a loser wanker wannabe with the current world record time of creating a pretend life online. It's amazing I have the strength to type with all the energy I put into creating "partners" and "family" and all my cockamamie advice about "communication" and "understanding expectations."

well I wouldna put you as a loser

Damn, i hate coming on here to defend LA as she is way too much fun to argue with but Brosco you are wrong, at least about her real life. I know her not as a friend but as a fellow BESS member and she does get around in real life, play parties, munches, classes etc.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to Brosco)

Post #: 98

RE: Who really is offline? - 6/14/2006 8:34:50 AM

hizgeorgiapeach

Posts: 1672
Status: offline

Having dredged through this entire thread, I find myself simply shaking my head in wonder. I'm still a very new poster to these forums, though by no means new to BDSM activities. I have yet to get slammed, ridiculed, or harassed - though a bit of good natured kidding was done on one specific thread which was well deserved considering the nature of the post/responces.

If someone is so thin skinned that they can't handle being disagreed with, a public forum filled with individuals who aren't brainless parroting tripes is probably Not the place for them to hang out in whatever spare time they happen to choose to give over to said public venues. If someone who has never ventured from the relative safety and fantasy of online happens to get ribbed a bit when they make a statement (or ask a question) that shows they are clueless about the sometimes harsh realities of a face to face offline existance - well - perhaps they should take it as a hint that living in fantasy isn't universally considered healthy or fulfilling. I generally don't start blasting an onliner for stupidity unless they make the mistake of assuming they know what certain types of play feels like simply because their cyber-partner-du jour is a good fantasy writer. Hate to burst their illusory bubbles (well, not really, but I suppose it IS polite to Say that I hate doing so)..... it's simply not possible to comprehend what a flogger feels like when striking the flesh, or know that you enjoy getting spanked, whipped, cropped, caned until stripes that last a week show up - until you've actually been there. And I will continue to stand by opinions of that nature for the rest of my days, both natural and unnatural. How do *I know that I enjoy being tied to an Andrew's Cross and beaten until my back and butt and thighs are a mass of bruises that last for a week? Because I've been there, done that, on a regular basis on saturday nights at the local dungeon. How do I know that an online only relationship doesn't offer the same sort of fulfillment that offline does? Same way - been there, done both, can recognize the inherant differences.

_____________________________

Rhi
Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Essential Scentsations

(in reply to Prunesquallor)

Post #: 99

RE: Who really is offline? - 6/14/2006 8:35:03 AM

litleone8620

Posts: 3669
Joined: 6/12/2006
Status: offline

Thanks Raven

. I daresay, while the newbies are learning from the regulars, the same goes for the opposite.

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 100

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