RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side"

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 1/21/2013 6:32:10 AM

LdyViolet

Posts: 12
Joined: 1/1/2013
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What a great thread! It's good to see I'm not the only one getting such classy, intelligent and well thought out messages. Although, sadly, most of mine are more pathetic and ignorant than they are funny.

(in reply to cordeliasub)

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 1/21/2013 3:40:15 PM

TwoHeartsBeatOne

Posts: 479
Joined: 10/30/2012
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I think your, "A day without flaying..." should be added to the euphemisms thread. LOL

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

In a first letter, she tells me that after reading about me on the forums she has chosen me to "cut her tits off". She has breast cancer and wants them to go out "with glory".

I am so lucky to be chosen for such tasks aren't I? After all, a day without flaying anyone is like a day without sunshine.

_____________________________

"Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.”
― Anaïs Nin

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 1/24/2013 1:47:05 AM

EsotericLady

Posts: 713
Joined: 1/2/2013
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My latest "intelligent message" to share...and from a Dom, of course:

Him: would you /could you ....turn me?

Me: turn you?

Him: from dom to slave miss

Me: Oh....I'll just snap my fingers and..PRESTO CHANGO!

Are you a slave yet?

Him: wow ..yes I am ....gee thanks! that was awesome! ....I never knew it could be that easy ..lol

Me: Well apparently for "some" people it is..

So.. you don't make a strong enough Dom?

Him: not to a superior woman ...no

Me: Do you have any clue what it means to be a male Doninant?

Him: im not sure anymore miss

I think I'm more confused then he is now! LMAO

(in reply to TwoHeartsBeatOne)

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 1/24/2013 1:43:11 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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I just got a lovely message...

Ill be straight forward with you, I care nothing about where you are from or what your occupation is. I dont need to know a single thing about you other than you're an obedient slut. So if you truly want to be a slutty whore you may serve me.';12

I asked him how this intro his working for him and thanked him for the laugh.

(in reply to EsotericLady)

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Post #: 424

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 1/24/2013 6:10:24 PM

CountZer0

Posts: 11
Joined: 7/30/2012
Status: offline

I had this text from a girl:

'Are you into tickle torture?'

I thought, sure, why not, I guess there is always a first time!

Then she says: 'well if you are, will you write me a story about tickle torture?'

I'm good at writing short stories so I say: Yes I can, give me an hour or so.

'Can you write a tickle torture story about three girls, one student, one pop idol, one fbi agent, wearing high knees nylons, being kidnapped and tickle tortured? Can you make it gore and bloody'?

And that's when I realized I was a guy in disguise on the other side of the web ;)

(in reply to JanahX)

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 1/24/2013 7:53:55 PM

Spiritedsub2

Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CountZer0

...I'm good at writing short stories so I say: Yes I can, give me an hour or so.

'Can you write a tickle torture story about three girls, one student, one pop idol, one fbi agent, wearing high knees nylons, being kidnapped and tickle tortured? Can you make it gore and bloody'?

And that's when I realized I was a guy in disguise on the other side of the web ;)

My first thought when I read your post is that a girl needed a short story written for a college writing assignment and was trying to enlist you to write it for her!

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~ Rumi

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(in reply to CountZer0)

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 1/25/2013 5:53:25 PM

CountZer0

Posts: 11
Joined: 7/30/2012
Status: offline

[/quote]
My first thought when I read your post is that a girl needed a short story written for a college writing assignment and was trying to enlist you to write it for her!
[/quote]

I thought of that too ehehe ;)

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 1/26/2013 6:38:55 AM

jlf1961

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline

quote:

jHello...an brittney from carlifornia...single never married....I came across your profile here and I like to know you more....you can get back me on here or yahoo messenger sussanhartfford or yahoo mail [email protected] or text me 209-690-7034 I like to do dirty things with you asap..............

Strangely enough, her profile is rather sparse on any details

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

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(in reply to CountZer0)

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 1/26/2013 6:48:17 AM

ShaharThorne

Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline

Boy, she was forward...I wrote to you and never gave you my number...

BTW, posting numbers is against the TOS...

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You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex! -Lola, Kinky Boots

Founder: Bitch with Tits

Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

(in reply to jlf1961)

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 1/26/2013 9:37:42 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CountZer0

I had this text from a girl:

'Are you into tickle torture?'

I thought, sure, why not, I guess there is always a first time!

Then she says: 'well if you are, will you write me a story about tickle torture?'

I'm good at writing short stories so I say: Yes I can, give me an hour or so.

'Can you write a tickle torture story about three girls, one student, one pop idol, one fbi agent, wearing high knees nylons, being kidnapped and tickle tortured? Can you make it gore and bloody'?

And that's when I realized I was a guy in disguise on the other side of the web ;)

It took you that long? I realized it was a guy at: 'well if you are, will you write me a story about tickle torture?'

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to CountZer0)

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 1/26/2013 10:18:58 AM

jlf1961

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne

Boy, she was forward...I wrote to you and never gave you my number...

BTW, posting numbers is against the TOS...

I know that.
You know that.
So, needless to say, I have not responded.

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to ShaharThorne)

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 1/26/2013 11:57:58 PM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline

When I look at "Who's Viewed Me," the young lady who wrote this message comes up:

hi,

I would love to be Hypnotized by you and turned into your personal toy. interested?

While she viewed my profile, she evidently didn't read it, because she could have anwered her own question and wouldn't have to bother writing. It says I'm not interested in:

* female
* under 40
* more than 100 miles from DFW airport

She's all three, meaning my interest is zilch. She's a cute girl and I'm sure many would be interested, but I'm not one of them.

< Message edited by MysticFireTopaz -- 1/27/2013 12:01:06 AM >

(in reply to jlf1961)

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 1/27/2013 4:45:33 AM

absolutchocolat

Posts: 1392
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Oh my lord. This is from FL, but I had to share anyway. I'm in stitches:

I do not want you to mistake Me being direct with Me being rude. I do not care what label you have placed on yourself or the distance that may be between Us. What I do care about is what was on your profile and do not ask Me what that “what” was. I want you to e-mail Me at [redacted]. In that e-mail I want you to put your profile name in the subject header, in the body I want you to put your first name and include a picture of yourself showing your face. Yes this is a cut and paste e-mail, which I will continue to send you. Until you either follow My lead or block Me love. If I could find what I wanted next door I would not be brothering you.

Get this folks...on my profile, it says I am inclined towards dominance. I own slaves. I clearly do not wish to be one of yours. Not to mention, his profile makes him seem bat-shit crazy. What a charmer.

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 1/27/2013 9:12:01 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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I vote for "blocked".

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 1/27/2013 10:28:15 AM

absolutchocolat

Posts: 1392
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He was blocked before I posted.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 1/27/2013 10:28:28 PM

Rasnow

Posts: 53
Joined: 8/30/2010
From: La La Land
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: absolutchocolat
Yes this is a cut and paste e-mail, which I will continue to send you.

Well at least he's honest...

(in reply to absolutchocolat)

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 1/29/2013 5:26:33 PM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline

I think some people must have a fetish for being repeatedly rejected.

There is a sub who lives in a distant state who first wrote to me a few years ago. He sent me several messages in a row, which I ignored, then he sent one saying that he wanted to come to Dallas to meet me. I viewed his profile and told him that I was only seeking subs local to the Dallas/Fort Worth area, and since he is 1,500 miles away, I was not interested. Not only that, he had a statement in his profile that BBW's were not to his liking, and for them to please not contact him. I pointed out that I clearly state in my profile that I am one, and if it is a problem for you, to please pass me by. I told him that he wrote to me; I would have respected his wishes and never contacted him. He continued to push the issue after I clearly told him I wasn't interested and I ended up blocking him.

Now about every couple months, he creates a new profile, sends me some type of message, then I immediately block him. Though the profile name is different, I can tell it's him by his location, height, weight, age, etc. He acts like it's a new introductory message each time, but surely he must know that I'm on to him since he gets blocked immediately. He tries out different type of wording. This is the one I got last night, which is not one of his more clever ones:

I seek LTR and TPE. simple and easy

The minute I figured out it was him, I blocked him immediately. He has sent me dozens of messages over the years. All I can figure is that he enjoys being repeatedly rejected.

(in reply to Rasnow)

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 1/30/2013 5:01:49 AM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

I seriously just got a picture of a little boner that was hanging limply out of a hole in some ratty underwear.

Really?

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HBIC

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 1/30/2013 8:45:33 AM

TheLilSquaw

Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline

I was called Tonto the other day, on the other side.
The "dom" was trying to be insulting but all he did was make himself look foolish.

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LilSquaw
Lifestyle & ProSwitch
Fetish Model, Producer, and Website Owner

http://www.clips4sale.com/69201
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(in reply to Lynnxz)

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 1/31/2013 5:17:45 PM

LookieNoNookie

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