RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side"

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (Full Version)

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NorthernGent1 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (8/28/2016 12:41:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: needlesandpins News flash; I don't need you too. It's Greek BTW, and Bradford, where Doncaster is no where near, is in Yorkshire [8\|] You see my profile does what it says on the tin. Quite clearly it states exactly what I'm here for, and what I'm not here for. It's mine, so it's not up for debate, just the same as what I wear is not up for debate, and is not a come on for any random bloke. You have pointed out one flaw of this dated site though; it doesn't do the auto update of ages. I'm actually 44. You see, not only would it be really poor form to comment on my profile in public, in actual fact what you have done already is, but it would be shear arrogance when your opinion hasn't been asked for in the first place. Needles Not that any of it matters.

needlesandpins -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (8/28/2016 1:01:27 PM)
No, none of the details about me matter at all. All that matters is the fact that right at the beginning of my profile it very clearly states that I'm not looking, and that I'm only here for the forums. The fact that some MEN, because you see, it's never women that ignore my profile, they read, they respect, they get in touch to say it's a shame, and to compliment, but some MEN have the arrogance to totally ignore what is in a woman's profile. It's disrespectful, yet some how my fault, and ALWAYS a MAN that has something to say about that too. My profile started with the very first sentence, but it wasn't enough, so I qualified it, and it still wasn't enough to drive home the point. It's never enough. You should give it a go. Try being one of us for just one week, and deal with the crap that we have to put up with. My profile, my way, and it clearly states what I'm here for. Needles

NorthernGent1 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (8/28/2016 1:06:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: needlesandpins No, none of the details about me matter at all. All that matters is the fact that right at the beginning of my profile it very clearly states that I'm not looking, and that I'm only here for the forums. The fact that some MEN, because you see, it's never women that ignore my profile, they read, they respect, they get in touch to say it's a shame, and to compliment, but some MEN have the arrogance to totally ignore what is in a woman's profile. It's disrespectful, yet some how my fault, and ALWAYS a MAN that has something to say about that too. My profile started with the very first sentence, but it wasn't enough, so I qualified it, and it still wasn't enough to drive home the point. It's never enough. You should give it a go. Try being one of us for just one week, and deal with the crap that we have to put up with. My profile, my way, and it clearly states what I'm here for. Needles I wasn't commenting on your trials and tribulations. I dare say that you are on the wrong end of a lot of hassle. That's the nature of putting a profile up on a public message board. This renders you open to someone else's mind-set and you simply can't control that. My point related to the words in your own profile and what those words say about you.

needlesandpins -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (8/28/2016 1:24:54 PM)
The words in my profile are trying to, and politely as I can, say 'please fuck off, and leave me the hell alone', and I really don't care what anyone thinks that says about me. You see, if they just took notice of that first sentence, then the rest wouldn't need to be there, and then I wouldn't be getting judged for being defensive. Needles

TheMistressLucy -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (8/30/2016 5:23:45 PM)
A selection of the messages I have received here and on FL over the last month or so... (I am not complaining, you have to take the good with the bad!) 32 M Germany Hey :) do you like hanging or beheading ?? Or maybe you do with me? Would be hot if you hang me when i cum Or you cut off my head exactly when i cum??? 41 M Switzerland can i pay you £1000 to fuck you ? i wanna fuck you for money to used you like a street hooker do you swallow cum 31 M USA Would you force/instruct slave to consume its own body fluids please while dressed like a little sissy, please? 25 M UK please tell me you like thick mixedrace long cock that gets deep in your guts. 30 M Poland Hi honey, Your are very Beauty an so cute and hot! damnnn.Can I see your naked video live? i think my cock is bigger than your arm, but i wanna to put it inside your baby! 30 M India Hi . I am looking for someone who can castrate me. Are u into castration? Or can you recommend me any mistress who perform castration in United Kingdom? Thanks. 20 M UK hey there u have been marked as my target. i will destroy you lucy. be careful from now on . i will show you what happens if u piss off a techie. u stupid skank !!! lol u sick woman, i will spend my free time on exposing you bitch 55 M UK Would thrash you for your impertinence and then fuck you hard up the arse whilst fisting you up front. 28 Egypt TV wanna watch me getting fucked from ma dog 61 CD/TV Atlanta, Georgia Dear L-u-c-y..............................................f-u-c-k y-o-u, Jaquline 45 M USA Hahaha! You're not worthy with those stick legs. I only submit to real Women, not little girls. 43 M Canada Hi there, are you into stinky foot domination? 36 M UK U like to shit on me Belgium 30M Ccould take joy in destroying the masculinity? For example by humiliation, or by litteraly destroying (for example) genitals by putting needles through it or likewise... Belgium 30M Your 6" heels look like they would fit in my peewhole... real deep 29 M Sweden Mistress i am a slave from Sweden who wonder if he can meet mistress and be used as mistress asslicker and as mistress facefartsniffer. Slave can travel hope for a reply. 28 M USA Hi. Would you record me shit n eat it on cam pls? xx 21 M USA I'm sitting here stroking off at the thought of locking my cock up for you.. Something about it is just so hot. (MISSING THE POINT TOTALLY) 7/19/16 at 9:44 AM: YR SOOOO UGLY AND SKINNY :). WHY WOULD YOU POST PATHETIC PICS OF YOU?? GUESS YR A SMALL DICK PATHETIC LOSER FAGGOT FAKE WITH STOLEN PHOTOS ANYWAY.. SO HAD TO REPORT U AS SCAMMER.. CS WILL READ AND MONITOR YOUR MESSAGES NOW... YOU FUCKING UGLY AND MORONIC FAGGOT. LOL 31 M France mmmmmmmmmmmmm flights on my ass and fuck me mistress ape maia with your sting strapon 34 M Ireland I've never tasted my cum and I really want to shoot a load in my mouth but I'm not brave enough to do it myself Would you help me? 35 M UK Deluded bint. I'm gonna go wank over the pics FOR FREE and then laugh at you. bye bye now loser! 28 M UK what a load of utter toss. i'd just about empty my balls in your ass while you've that squashed cupcake stuffed in your mouth. that's about the most you'd get outta me. and even then you'd be lucky. have fun. 31 M Bosnia your profile meke me so horny tonight. your pict make me cum 5 times so far and i still can stop jerking n your pics 28 M Germany Hi goddess Lucy Do you also Do Skype Sessions? I have 2 bottles of wine and vodka (for forced intox) a Girls thong, bra and jeans, and a Cooking Spoon, a Rat trap and needles (for CBT) 26 M UK I dont suppose you could ever like a totally loyal sub who worshipped you so much he might even struggle with a more taboo desire of wanting to be used as your toilet? 40 M USA Capture me and force me to open my mouth. You can force me to extend my tongue, whip me if I resist until I comply, use my tongue and mouth any way you want. Pull me by the hair when you're warmed up into your pussy while you whip me, faster and harder for tongue faster, harder or deeper until you're ready to cum. Then with one final hard lash anyplace you want, you cum in my mouth on my tongue. As I drink your pussy juice, you hold me by the hair tightly into you with a few more well placed lashes while waves of ecstacy flow through you for several minutes. As you let me go, you notice my big, hard, erect,,throbbing cock and wonder if you can make it cum by just cropping it without any other touching. As I lick and suck you clean, you keep cropping my cock as it starts to cum gallons. Seeing all that cum is giving you ideas as you start getting wet again, and you haven't raped my virgin ass yet. Or used my mouth for other ways to humiliate me and excite yourself. Hmmmmmmm(to be continued)..........

OsideGirl -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (8/30/2016 5:30:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheMistressLucy 32 M Germany Hey :) do you like hanging or beheading ?? Or maybe you do with me? Would be hot if you hang me when i cum Or you cut off my head exactly when i cum??? I have to tell you that I'd be tempted to say "Yes, but we'll only be able to do it that one time and where should I leave your body?"

TheMistressLucy -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (8/30/2016 6:32:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl quote: ORIGINAL: TheMistressLucy 32 M Germany Hey :) do you like hanging or beheading ?? Or maybe you do with me? Would be hot if you hang me when i cum Or you cut off my head exactly when i cum??? I have to tell you that I'd be tempted to say "Yes, but we'll only be able to do it that one time and where should I leave your body?" I've also had lots who have asked me about castrating them, obviously they never find anyone to do it or they wouldn't be asking :)

Gauge -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (8/30/2016 8:29:27 PM)
The following are screen names I made up. I swear to the ever-loving blue eyed deity above, I did not send ANY of these!!! I made them up! MADE THEM UP... I swear. quote: ORIGINAL: TheMistressLucy 32 M Germany Hey :) do you like hanging or beheading ?? Or maybe you do with me? Would be hot if you hang me when i cum Or you cut off my head exactly when i cum??? Screen name: PrayingMantis quote: 41 M Switzerland can i pay you £1000 to fuck you ? i wanna fuck you for money to used you like a street hooker do you swallow cum Sent from: BjornFree quote: 31 M USA Would you force/instruct slave to consume its own body fluids please while dressed like a little sissy, please? Sent from: SpongeBobfrillypanties quote: 25 M UK please tell me you like thick mixedrace long cock that gets deep in your guts. Sent from: Eviscmixrace quote: 30 M Poland Hi honey, Your are very Beauty an so cute and hot! damnnn.Can I see your naked video live? i think my cock is bigger than your arm, but i wanna to put it inside your baby! Sent from :1/2inchflacid quote: 30 M India Hi . I am looking for someone who can castrate me. Are u into castration? Or can you recommend me any mistress who perform castration in United Kingdom? Thanks. Sent from: BallessinUKindia quote: 20 M UK hey there u have been marked as my target. i will destroy you lucy. be careful from now on . i will show you what happens if u piss off a techie. u stupid skank !!! lol u sick woman, i will spend my free time on exposing you bitch Sent from: Momzdebasement quote: 55 M UK Would thrash you for your impertinence and then fuck you hard up the arse whilst fisting you up front. Sent from: LOLurDaMizstress quote: 28 Egypt TV wanna watch me getting fucked from ma dog Sent from: KingTuTucummin quote: 61 CD/TV Atlanta, Georgia Dear L-u-c-y..............................................f-u-c-k y-o-u, Jaquline Sent from: OldFolksHome quote: 45 M USA Hahaha! You're not worthy with those stick legs. I only submit to real Women, not little girls. Sent from: NeedzMorLube quote: 43 M Canada Hi there, are you into stinky foot domination? Sent from: DrScholls quote: 36 M UK U like to shit on me Sent from: UrPortaPottie quote: Belgium 30M Ccould take joy in destroying the masculinity? For example by humiliation, or by litteraly destroying (for example) genitals by putting needles through it or likewise... Sent from: FAPfapFAPfapFAP quote: Belgium 30M Your 6" heels look like they would fit in my peewhole... real deep Sent from: CanPassAmarbleANDnotBLINK quote: 29 M Sweden Mistress i am a slave from Sweden who wonder if he can meet mistress and be used as mistress asslicker and as mistress facefartsniffer. Slave can travel hope for a reply. Sent from: WillTravel4Farts quote: 28 M USA Hi. Would you record me shit n eat it on cam pls? xx Sent from: 2gurlz1cup quote: 21 M USA I'm sitting here stroking off at the thought of locking my cock up for you.. Something about it is just so hot. Sent from: MasterLoque quote: 7/19/16 at 9:44 AM: YR SOOOO UGLY AND SKINNY :). WHY WOULD YOU POST PATHETIC PICS OF YOU?? GUESS YR A SMALL DICK PATHETIC LOSER FAGGOT FAKE WITH STOLEN PHOTOS ANYWAY.. SO HAD TO REPORT U AS SCAMMER.. CS WILL READ AND MONITOR YOUR MESSAGES NOW... YOU FUCKING UGLY AND MORONIC FAGGOT. LOL Sent from: LOLZevery1izFake quote: 31 M France mmmmmmmmmmmmm flights on my ass and fuck me mistress ape maia with your sting strapon Sent from: LanguageNotMyStrongSuit quote: 34 M Ireland I've never tasted my cum and I really want to shoot a load in my mouth but I'm not brave enough to do it myself Would you help me? Sent from: ImGae quote: 35 M UK Deluded bint. I'm gonna go wank over the pics FOR FREE and then laugh at you. bye bye now loser! Sent from: I woodNEwai quote: 28 M UK what a load of utter toss. i'd just about empty my balls in your ass while you've that squashed cupcake stuffed in your mouth. that's about the most you'd get outta me. and even then you'd be lucky. have fun. Sent from: pastriesRus quote: 31 M Bosnia your profile meke me so horny tonight. your pict make me cum 5 times so far and i still can stop jerking n your pics Sent from: hazBlistersWillTravel quote: 28 M Germany Hi goddess Lucy Do you also Do Skype Sessions? I have 2 bottles of wine and vodka (for forced intox) a Girls thong, bra and jeans, and a Cooking Spoon, a Rat trap and needles (for CBT) Sent from: AlkieChef quote: 26 M UK I dont suppose you could ever like a totally loyal sub who worshipped you so much he might even struggle with a more taboo desire of wanting to be used as your toilet? Sent from: TheTidyBowelMan quote: 40 M USA Capture me and force me to open my mouth. You can force me to extend my tongue, whip me if I resist until I comply, use my tongue and mouth any way you want. Pull me by the hair when you're warmed up into your pussy while you whip me, faster and harder for tongue faster, harder or deeper until you're ready to cum. Then with one final hard lash anyplace you want, you cum in my mouth on my tongue. As I drink your pussy juice, you hold me by the hair tightly into you with a few more well placed lashes while waves of ecstacy flow through you for several minutes. As you let me go, you notice my big, hard, erect,,throbbing cock and wonder if you can make it cum by just cropping it without any other touching. As I lick and suck you clean, you keep cropping my cock as it starts to cum gallons. Seeing all that cum is giving you ideas as you start getting wet again, and you haven't raped my virgin ass yet. Or used my mouth for other ways to humiliate me and excite yourself. Hmmmmmmm(to be continued).......... Sent from: NeedzAblog

OsideGirl -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (8/30/2016 9:57:29 PM)
OMG! Those were epic! [sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif]

Lucylastic -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (8/30/2016 10:35:10 PM)
quote: CanPassAmarbleANDnotBLINK I may just have done sumfin childish LMFAO

shiftyw -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (8/31/2016 5:35:12 AM)
So...not a specific message... But I keep getting messages from dominant couples. All worded similarly. But...is there like a scam going around? Is something I my profile attracting this? Is it likely just one person trying to rope me into this type of relationship? Or get me on cam or something? I just don't understand the point.

NorthernGent1 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (8/31/2016 12:27:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: needlesandpins The words in my profile are trying to, and politely as I can, say 'please fuck off, and leave me the hell alone', and I really don't care what anyone thinks that says about me. You see, if they just took notice of that first sentence, then the rest wouldn't need to be there, and then I wouldn't be getting judged for being defensive. Needles Well, I've read your profile and it's a shambles. Speaks of someone extremely defensive. "If you think you're special....." "It's getting rather tedious....." "I won't accept friend requests...." And then you end it by saying: "thanks for looking". Looking at what? Someone saying I can't be bothered with you? Not impressive, Needles.

PeonForHer -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (8/31/2016 2:18:38 PM)
FR Has anyone (probably male) had this one yet? I thought I'd seen every variety of bait and switch, but this is a new one on me. Miss X (I shall call her) writes to me directly. She's very young (too young), claiming to be 26. Actually she looks like a teen to me. She's also very pretty - in a very girly way. She says she's over in the UK from Buffalo, USA, on business. She's staying in - a road in Bath, nearby to me in Bristol - the road name, plus the exact postcode. 'Can we meet this week some time? I was so excited to see that I'm near to you. I don't even care what you're into, I think we could have fun. Maybe you could show me around, then we could go back to my place?' She gives me an email address. I look up the postcode. Miss X is apparently staying at the most expensive hotel in Bath (£258 per night). I also Google Miss X's nickname. She's on just about every dating site on the Net. On each site she talks about looking for fun. Notwithstanding, she maintains that her outlook is 'very conservative'. At one site she gives what looks like her real name. At at least one site she's been banned. What do we think, folks? A scam, presumably - but how does it work? A 'long con', in which she 'falls for' me over a period of weeks, say, then claims she needs to escape from some varlet in the US who's threatening her life - can she come to stay with me in the UK and will I send her £3000 for the flight etc? Mysterious. As I say - a new one on me.

OsideGirl -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (8/31/2016 2:22:21 PM)
You could always set up a meet to see if she actually shows up. If she cancels or no-shows, you have your answer.

PeonForHer -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (8/31/2016 2:33:13 PM)
I can't be bothered with that, OG. I'm sure she won't show up. Bath is still an hour from me and I'd waste an evening. Besides, even given the tiny chance that she's kosher, I don't think she and I would get on (recalling the 'very conservative' bit - and that 'very conservative' by US standards means 'outright looney right-wing' by European standards). She's too young and I 'know' her only from one cmail. Bottom line - I'm just not that kind and friendly.

DesFIP -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (8/31/2016 6:12:18 PM)
I think she's traveling and actually staying in student hostels but trying to get locals to pay for expensive hotels and restaurants.

needlesandpins -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (9/1/2016 2:57:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NorthernGent1 quote: ORIGINAL: needlesandpins The words in my profile are trying to, and politely as I can, say 'please fuck off, and leave me the hell alone', and I really don't care what anyone thinks that says about me. You see, if they just took notice of that first sentence, then the rest wouldn't need to be there, and then I wouldn't be getting judged for being defensive. Needles Well, I've read your profile and it's a shambles. Speaks of someone extremely defensive. "If you think you're special....." "It's getting rather tedious....." "I won't accept friend requests...." And then you end it by saying: "thanks for looking". Looking at what? Someone saying I can't be bothered with you? Not impressive, Needles. You know what. for someone that spoke as he first did about commenting in public you sure changed you mind. How bloody arrogant of you. I NEVER ASKED FOR YOUR OPINION! Have you even considered that maybe if you thought it even your place to comment on how I CHOOSE TO RUN MY PROFILE, then may be you should have done that in private, not that it was called for in the first place. Yes, I have already said I'm defensive, and I'll tell you why shall I, because I'm sick of dealing with bullshit like this in my personal mail from idiots like you that think they have the right to tell me what I should be doing. As I said, at the start it said "I'm only here for the forums" If guys would just leave me the hell alone I wouldn't have to have put anything else, but like you they can't just take 'go away' as a hint. Of course it's saying I can't be bothered with you, That's the whole damn point! What can't your little mind grasp about that? Now I really should not have to explain myself to you, nor anyone else, and frankly anyone more decent would have just left it alone already. Now, kindly fuck right off, just as my profile is more politely trying to tell everyone else to do! Needles

OsideGirl -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (9/1/2016 3:17:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: needlesandpins Yes, I have already said I'm defensive, and I'll tell you why shall I, because I'm sick of dealing with bullshit like this in my personal mail from idiots like you that think they have the right to tell me what I should be doing. As I said, at the start it said "I'm only here for the forums" If guys would just leave me the hell alone I wouldn't have to have put anything else, but like you they can't just take 'go away' as a hint. Of course it's saying I can't be bothered with you, That's the whole damn point! What can't your little mind grasp about that? Now I really should not have to explain myself to you, nor anyone else, and frankly anyone more decent would have just left it alone already. Needles I totally get it. My profile says "Just Here for the Forums" and has a picture of M - and people STILL contact me. Oddly enough, that produces less mail than "I'm happily married to M and just here for the forums" - then I get guys that ask if M shares. [8\|]

needlesandpins -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (9/4/2016 2:27:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl quote: ORIGINAL: needlesandpins Yes, I have already said I'm defensive, and I'll tell you why shall I, because I'm sick of dealing with bullshit like this in my personal mail from idiots like you that think they have the right to tell me what I should be doing. As I said, at the start it said "I'm only here for the forums" If guys would just leave me the hell alone I wouldn't have to have put anything else, but like you they can't just take 'go away' as a hint. Of course it's saying I can't be bothered with you, That's the whole damn point! What can't your little mind grasp about that? Now I really should not have to explain myself to you, nor anyone else, and frankly anyone more decent would have just left it alone already. Needles I totally get it. My profile says "Just Here for the Forums" and has a picture of M - and people STILL contact me. Oddly enough, that produces less mail than "I'm happily married to M and just here for the forums" - then I get guys that ask if M shares. [8\|] Thank you. I also used to say that I had a playmate, and so wasn't interested, but that never stopped them either. You can't win no matter what you put, and there is always someone that thinks they have the right to tell you you're the one in the wrong. Go figure [:)] Needles

AllOfTheCookies -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (9/4/2016 3:44:18 AM)
Yup, I had that mail just last week from someone claiming to be from New York; only found it because I happened to bother to check my bulk mail. Just looked again and she's either hidden her profile, or it's been removed.

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