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RE: what is it like to be a total slave? - 10/18/2012 12:16:46 PM   
AKman770


Posts: 9
Joined: 2/15/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex

I can answer what it is like from the other side of the kneel- namely a total waste of time.

Seriously,I have spent short amounts of time with such slaves, and it amounts to being a caretaker for an invalid.

"Control" also means "delegate" as in, "you don't need to ask me permission to tinkle- just make sure dinner is ready when I arrive home".


Right on Animus. Besides that, ditto several replies. Sounds a like a lot of work for the Dom/Domme; maybe it could be used as an occasional punishment.

(in reply to AnimusRex)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: what is it like to be a total slave? - 10/18/2012 12:45:11 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I'd suggest deleting and blocking. It sounds like he expected you to beg for another chance and is shocked that you didn't, instead saying okay and walking. Leaving him to play by himself.


That would be the emotional blackmail coming into play.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: what is it like to be a total slave? - 10/18/2012 6:14:18 PM   
amaidiamond


Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline 		If it adds anything,

In the last year of being his slave, I have been genuinely punished once.

it is not something he does "just because".

_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation... I can find the way all by myself!

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: what is it like to be a total slave? - 10/18/2012 9:10:33 PM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I'd suggest deleting and blocking. It sounds like he expected you to beg for another chance and is shocked that you didn't, instead saying okay and walking. Leaving him to play by himself.


That would be the emotional blackmail coming into play.


I was enjoying this sort of Kate Hepburn-like image of myself for a few minutes, but I don't deserve it. I did beg; I didn't say okay and walk. I see him in my real life frequently through work and he texts and calls me.

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: what is it like to be a total slave? - 10/19/2012 6:05:16 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

I was enjoying this sort of Kate Hepburn-like image of myself for a few minutes, but I don't deserve it. I did beg; I didn't say okay and walk. I see him in my real life frequently through work and he texts and calls me.



Of course you did, at first. But you were supposed to continue begging. You were supposed to beg and beg and beg some more on the off chance he would change his mind. *That's* the emotional blackmail, and yes we've seen it before. The more I think about this guy, the more I think he's one of those doms who feels the need to "break" a sub, and this was most likely the first big step towards that.

I think it must be very hard to have to interact with him at work, and to having him calling and texting you all the time. Please tell me he's not your boss in any way.



_____________________________



(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: what is it like to be a total slave? - 10/19/2012 8:35:54 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		I agree with Chatte with the view that he wanted you to keep begging. That is a perfect example of emotional blackmail. And if I were you, I'd cut off all communication that doesn't have to do with work. Period. No exceptions.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 10/19/2012 8:36:52 AM >

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: what is it like to be a total slave? - 10/19/2012 9:57:04 AM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

Of course you did, at first. But you were supposed to continue begging. You were supposed to beg and beg and beg some more on the off chance he would change his mind. *That's* the emotional blackmail, and yes we've seen it before. The more I think about this guy, the more I think he's one of those doms who feels the need to "break" a sub, and this was most likely the first big step towards that.

I think it must be very hard to have to interact with him at work, and to having him calling and texting you all the time. Please tell me he's not your boss in any way.



Definitely not my boss. Yes, it is hard; the price one can pay for getting involved at/near work. Certainly wasn't my plan! He would be the first to describe himself as extreme. It is astounding how one's first experience of sub frenzy can dazzle an otherwise sane and analytical mind. These boards were a lifesaver back in the heart of it for me; having people talk about and describe sub frenzy saved my ass.


_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: what is it like to be a total slave? - 10/19/2012 9:59:31 AM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I agree with Chatte with the view that he wanted you to keep begging. That is a perfect example of emotional blackmail. And if I were you, I'd cut off all communication that doesn't have to do with work. Period. No exceptions.

I can't bring myself to do that yet. But I creep ever closer...

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: what is it like to be a total slave? - 10/19/2012 10:16:15 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I agree with Chatte with the view that he wanted you to keep begging. That is a perfect example of emotional blackmail. And if I were you, I'd cut off all communication that doesn't have to do with work. Period. No exceptions.

I can't bring myself to do that yet. But I creep ever closer...


Rip the band aid off quickly. Trust me on this. You'll save yourself a lot of pain and you'll heal much faster. He still thinks he still has an in, so he's not going to stop. The longer you let it go on...the harder it will be to convince him to leave you alone. And if he's the "Domineer" vs the Dominant....it will get ugly.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: what is it like to be a total slave? - 10/19/2012 12:42:49 PM   
Bhruic


Posts: 985
Joined: 4/11/2012
From: Toronto, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingreality

99.99% of doms would find that utterly boring. It would just be a lot of work,


Perhaps... but many subs may find it erotic to be so controlled... and D/s is still a give and take, even when you are the D.

(in reply to seekingreality)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: what is it like to be a total slave? - 10/20/2012 12:48:14 AM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2
My task was to write 100 repetitive sentences every day while he was out of town for 16 days. Each day it took approximately 1 1/2 hours to complete these sentences. While it was mind-numbing, it did keep me focused on him, which he said was the purpose.
Each sentence had to be flawless in word order, spelling, and punctuation. I proof-read them.
When he returned, I handed him a stack of 1600 repetitive sentences. There were no spelling, punctuation, or word mistakes. However, in 1 place in the 1600, I had missed one number (going from 43 to 45), and in one other place, I had repeated number 89. He wanted me to rewrite the sentences in those 2 days for those 2 errors (200 more sentences).


You were clearly more generous than I would have been because I would have flat out refused to do it. I have no interest in someone that thinks that my time is worth so little that it's okay to waste it on something like this.



Yeah, seriously. I don't have any problem doing 29 hours of service, but it better be something actually useful to somebody. I mean, I've spent more time than that in the last 3 days helping my D with his/our business, but that's our living. Writing lines is just nonsense.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: what is it like to be a total slave? - 10/20/2012 5:26:09 AM   
TieMeInKnottss


Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline 		"Intelligence (not necessarily academic), confidence, and strength of will are the major hallmarks of the dominant personality. Couple these traits with self-knowledge, self-mastery, and the ability to inspire others and you have a GREAT dominant.

Some of the most dominant people I know are quiet and laid back and do not present as stereotypically "alpha" in the least. But watch them for awhile. They have a calmness, an inner peace and strength of purpose that nothing around them can touch. They have no desire to control everything that surrounds them, and yet a certain type of submissive, and I would be one, are drawn to this type like the proverbial magnet to the North Pole. "



Chatte, that is the definition of the dom I have been searching for!! I would be right behind you going to the North Pole!

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: what is it like to be a total slave? - 10/20/2012 10:15:35 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2


quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

Of course you did, at first. But you were supposed to continue begging. You were supposed to beg and beg and beg some more on the off chance he would change his mind. *That's* the emotional blackmail, and yes we've seen it before. The more I think about this guy, the more I think he's one of those doms who feels the need to "break" a sub, and this was most likely the first big step towards that.

I think it must be very hard to have to interact with him at work, and to having him calling and texting you all the time. Please tell me he's not your boss in any way.



Definitely not my boss. Yes, it is hard; the price one can pay for getting involved at/near work. Certainly wasn't my plan! He would be the first to describe himself as extreme. It is astounding how one's first experience of sub frenzy can dazzle an otherwise sane and analytical mind. These boards were a lifesaver back in the heart of it for me; having people talk about and describe sub frenzy saved my ass.



I was a real bitch too, I wanted advice and I was distraught and damn it I certainly didnt get coddled, and I was damn mad about it too. I wanted to hear it was great, all roses. It took me awhile to come to terms with my denial of alot of things. Not only about the relationship I was having but also the internal things that were going on inside of me, I really needed to fix.
It was a very painful time for me, and I was even shitty to some people who helped me greatly at the time but I couldn't see it then.
Sub frenzy is an UGLY THING, and it can be dangerous too. ALot of people will take advantage of someone when they aren't in a good state. Smart cunning people, who look for it, to gain for their own needs.
YOu can talk until your blue in the face sometimes but sometimes we have to learn it for ourselves, feel it all, watch the destruction unfortunately but when that happens the lesson is usually best learned. Hopefully though during the process, no one gets hurt but generally someone does.

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: what is it like to be a total slave? - 10/20/2012 11:31:49 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Well anything we say here obviously isn't going to work since you're still talking to and texting each other. Until you can cut off all communication, he will continue and you will go right back eventually. I give it by the end of the month.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: what is it like to be a total slave? - 10/20/2012 11:39:27 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		What lw said to you (quoted below) probably sounds very harsh, it's not meant to be. If you have to cut your arm off, it's best to make a clean swift break than to saw it off little by little. You are a smart woman, so you know this.

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Well anything we say here obviously isn't going to work since you're still talking to and texting each other. Until you can cut off all communication, he will continue and you will go right back eventually. I give it by the end of the month.




And yes, as soon as I heard you were still communicating, I thought, how soon will she go back? You must stop allowing him this power over you.

_____________________________



(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: what is it like to be a total slave? - 10/20/2012 11:44:06 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		It was not meant to be harsh (well maybe a little), just to the point. You can't get over someone if you are still talking to them and he's still chasing after you. The more you talk, the more chance of being with him again. I've been there, done that and it never works.

And yeah, if a good friend approached me with this, I would have told her word for word exactly as I put it here. Sometimes we need a little reality check.


< Message edited by littlewonder -- 10/20/2012 11:45:04 AM >

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: what is it like to be a total slave? - 10/20/2012 11:53:42 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		I'm sure I'm not the only one who translated "I can't bring myself to do that yet" as "I'm still thinking of going back."

This is always a mistake, and most especially with this type of person. You will let him know he can break you. How can I speak with such assurance? Like lw, been there, done that.

_____________________________



(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: what is it like to be a total slave? - 10/20/2012 11:58:03 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2
My task was to write 100 repetitive sentences every day while he was out of town for 16 days. Each day it took approximately 1 1/2 hours to complete these sentences. While it was mind-numbing, it did keep me focused on him, which he said was the purpose.
Each sentence had to be flawless in word order, spelling, and punctuation. I proof-read them.
When he returned, I handed him a stack of 1600 repetitive sentences. There were no spelling, punctuation, or word mistakes. However, in 1 place in the 1600, I had missed one number (going from 43 to 45), and in one other place, I had repeated number 89. He wanted me to rewrite the sentences in those 2 days for those 2 errors (200 more sentences).


You were clearly more generous than I would have been because I would have flat out refused to do it. I have no interest in someone that thinks that my time is worth so little that it's okay to waste it on something like this.




What a crazy asshole.........lol. Tell him to write them himself. What a mindless game, tell him to give you something worth doing. ANd yes Im being snarky.

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: what is it like to be a total slave? - 10/20/2012 12:10:21 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

What lw said to you (quoted below) probably sounds very harsh, it's not meant to be. If you have to cut your arm off, it's best to make a clean swift break than to saw it off little by little. You are a smart woman, so you know this.

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Well anything we say here obviously isn't going to work since you're still talking to and texting each other. Until you can cut off all communication, he will continue and you will go right back eventually. I give it by the end of the month.




And yes, as soon as I heard you were still communicating, I thought, how soon will she go back? You must stop allowing him this power over you.



Same here which why I said to just rip the bandaid off quickly....

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: what is it like to be a total slave? - 10/20/2012 1:04:11 PM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

I'm sure I'm not the only one who translated "I can't bring myself to do that yet" as "I'm still thinking of going back."

This is always a mistake, and most especially with this type of person. You will let him know he can break you. How can I speak with such assurance? Like lw, been there, done that.

You and littlewonder and Oside are all quite right; the hold-up is my inability to entirely let go of the possibility it will work out "later". But I don't want it to work out "now". Although it surely doesn't look like it, that last bit is monumental progress.
I appreciate all of your observations. The more I hear it, the more I believe the "situation" is of no value. I am meeting other doms on this site lately (men and a fabulous woman), and keeping my mind open to the possibilities of other people is giving me some objectivity that has obviously been lacking so far. It is sinking in! Thanks.

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 100
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