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[Poll]

Places for first meet

Public place. cafe bar etc

79% (59)

Munch, kink venue

13% (10)

Either sides home

6% (5)

Total Votes : 74

(last vote on : 12/27/2012 6:58:38 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

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Places for first meet - 10/20/2012 5:07:32 PM

frazzle

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We all say first meeting in a public place, but how many of us actually take our own advice???

I cant be the only person that, after hours of talking on the phone, meets on home turf.

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RE: Places for first meet - 10/20/2012 5:16:24 PM

searching4mysir

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The public place I choose IS home turf to me. It isn't in my home town, but I know a bunch of the people who work there and made a point of saying hi to them before I met whomever (and told them I was meeting someone new so they kept an eye out for me).

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RE: Places for first meet - 10/20/2012 5:19:04 PM

lizi

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Sorry, I only meet in a public place.

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RE: Places for first meet - 10/20/2012 5:19:26 PM

Shininglight23

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I hate to say this, but when I was younger and took more chances (stupid of me) I met on two occasions in another persons home. Thankfully nothing happened, but I would never do that again.

Allie

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RE: Places for first meet - 10/20/2012 5:22:16 PM

frazzle

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I do tend to meet at my home, if not a public place. But i have met at theirs before.

maybe im lucky, as ive never had an issue with either.

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RE: Places for first meet - 10/20/2012 5:28:40 PM

ShaharThorne

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Public place for me but then I am not really looking. I always like the iced coffees at Starbucks.

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RE: Places for first meet - 10/20/2012 5:30:15 PM

LadyRedRoseToo

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public place, always.

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RE: Places for first meet - 10/20/2012 5:31:25 PM

Shininglight23

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quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle

I do tend to meet at my home, if not a public place. But i have met at theirs before.

maybe im lucky, as ive never had an issue with either.

I would count yourself very lucky... the only problem with that is that it sometimes runs out.

ETA: I just read your profile, and for the sake of your loved ones (your son and granddaughter you mention)... I would hope that at some point in the future you reassess meeting in private. At least on the first meet.

Allie

< Message edited by Shininglight23 -- 10/20/2012 5:33:37 PM >

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RE: Places for first meet - 10/20/2012 5:34:41 PM

frazzle

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12 years down the line from both vanilla and bdsm sites, im not going to change.

My son was my safety call when i did that. I've stopped that as well.. By the time someone accepts you havent answered you'd be long dead anyway.

< Message edited by frazzle -- 10/20/2012 5:36:57 PM >

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RE: Places for first meet - 10/20/2012 5:51:14 PM

DaddySatyr

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From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
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This is going to sound very weird but work with me ...

I almost always meet in a public place but, there have been times, when I've taken some time to get to know a person through phone calls or Skype where I haven't had an issue with meeting in either's house. It hasn't happened often but it has happened.

Having said that I am a male and I used to be well armed so, I had a few less security concerns than most ladies are going to have.

Typically, I like public places because if you've found a person who gives you a bad feel, public places are easier from which to extricate yourself. What a lot of people don't think about are the "extra" security measures:

1) Always show up early so the other person doesn't see you arrive (This is moreso speaking about your vehicle). You should be there before the other person; control the situation as much as you can (yes, even submissives). Someone mentioned choosing a place where you're known. EXCELLENT idea (and one I use)!

2) Be very careful about seemingly inoccuous questions. Don't give away too much information to this person who is essentially a stranger. Knowledge is power. Don't submit until you've found the person to whom you wish to submit.

3) Sometimes, if coffee goes well, the two (or three or more) of you might decide to just kind of walk around the neighborhood. This is nice and I've done this but don't give any indication when you're walking past your car that it's yours and try to avoid places where you might run into actual friends (If this person gets your plate number, they can find you and if they know where your friends work, they can follow your friends to find you).

4) Always make sure they leave first. This is also to make sure that they don't see your car.

5) Do I really need to mention safe calls?

These are some things that some people don't think about and they could be important.

Peace and comfort,

Michael

< Message edited by DaddySatyr -- 10/20/2012 6:32:42 PM >

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RE: Places for first meet - 10/20/2012 6:02:54 PM

RemoteUser

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An airport is a public place, right...?

(For my girl, whom I know will find this post eventually...longest escalator ride ever. Remember?)

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RE: Places for first meet - 10/20/2012 6:10:07 PM

frazzle

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Im in the uk, being armed isnt an issue.

I also wonder whats going to happen if both sides are paranoid and wont arrive or leave in their cars. ( thanks god i cant afford a car at mo).

I'm beginning to think my criteria for meeting face to face is more in depth than some!!

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RE: Places for first meet - 10/20/2012 6:14:13 PM

Shininglight23

Posts: 1336
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

This is going to sound very weird but work with me ...

I almost always meet in a public place but, there have been times, when I've taken some time to get to know a person through phone calls or Skype where I haven't had an issue with meeting in either's house. It hasn't happened often but it has happened.

Having said that I am a male and I used to be well armed so, I had a few less security concerns than most ladies are going to have.

Typically, I like public places because if you've found a person who gives you a bad feel, public places are easier from which to extricate yourself. What a lot of people don't think about are the "extra" security measures:

1) Always show up early so the other person doesn't see you arrive (This is moreso speaking about your vehicle). You should be there before the other person; control the situation as much as you can (yes, even submissives). Someone mentioned choosing a place where you're known. EXCELLENT idea (and one I use)!

2) Be very careful about seemingly inoccuous questions. Don't give away too much information to this person who is essentially a stranger. Knowledge is power. Don't submit until you've found the person to whom you wish to submit.

3) Sometimes, if coffee goes well, the two (or three or more) of you might decide to just kind of walk around the neighborhood. This is nice and I've done this but don't give any indication when you're walking past your car that it's yours and try to avoid places where you might run into actual friends (If this person gets your plate number, thay can find you and if they know where your friends work, they can follow your friends to find you).

4) Always make sure they leave first. This is also to make sure that they don't see your car.

5) Do I really need to mention safe calls?

These are some things that some people don't think about and they could be important.

Peace and comfort,

Michael

I've heard Michaels stance on arriving first, and leaving last previously. I use both of those suggestions. I agree with him for once.

ETA: It's not that my criteria for meeting people is "not as in depth" as yours.. it may be different for sure. Prior to becoming emotionally invested whether in friendship or otherwise... I prefer to meet the person because we can all be someone different online.

Allie

< Message edited by Shininglight23 -- 10/20/2012 6:17:37 PM >

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RE: Places for first meet - 10/20/2012 6:17:24 PM

OsideGirl

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I never once met someone in my home or theirs.

I once made the mistake of meeting someone at one of the socials. I wasn't attracted...and he followed me around for the rest of the social....and then at the next two socials until I had to forcibly tell him to leave me alone.

I usually met for coffee so that it was easy to disengage if I wasn't interested.

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RE: Places for first meet - 10/20/2012 6:17:45 PM

frazzle

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Works great as long as only one side thinks like that!!! What happens if you both do???

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RE: Places for first meet - 10/20/2012 6:20:39 PM

Kaliko

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I did once. But to my credit, the guy was search and rescue. He saved people. I wasn't really all that worried.

Oh, wait..I also did another time. But again, to my credit, he was a deacon. Or a pastor. I don't remember. LOL - I guess he saved people, too.

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RE: Places for first meet - 10/20/2012 6:24:39 PM

AVegasMaster

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quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle

We all say first meeting in a public place, but how many of us actually take our own advice???

I cant be the only person that, after hours of talking on the phone, meets on home turf.

You are in the minority. I always meet in public for the first contact. However, that does not mean we won't wind up in a more private location before the "date" ends.

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RE: Places for first meet - 10/20/2012 6:25:16 PM

frazzle

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I dont get emotionally invested, ive just learnt over the years to ask pertinent questions before even talk of meeting. Hell ive made my fair share of mistakes, but they havent been ones where i worried about my safety, that much ive gauged beforehand.

We all meet liars, fantasists and total incompatibles, but ive never found a first date that was a murderer/rapist etc

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RE: Places for first meet - 10/20/2012 6:25:53 PM

Shininglight23

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I always arrive 15 min early. I'm a punctual girl.

If it works out that he saw my car.. then so be it. I at least TRIED to protect myself, and that's the best I can do.

ETA: If you aren't emotionally invested... how much more "in depth" than the rest of us can you be?

Allie

< Message edited by Shininglight23 -- 10/20/2012 6:28:21 PM >

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RE: Places for first meet - 10/20/2012 6:26:06 PM

Kana

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Starbucks.
They're everywhere, well populated, highly visible and everyone knows em...though they do make lousy coffee that's waaaay overpriced

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