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VideoAdminAlpha -> RE: So are we a bunch of meanies? (11/10/2012 11:59:33 PM)
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I will only say this, and I’m not taking sides..... but to call the person in question that started that thread a troll may be a bit over the top, especially since that is not actually the topic of THIS thread. They simply asked if they put up a video would this site upload it to other sites. I'm guessing the reasoning is because Adultfriendfinders etc., put your profile and any pics etc on that profile on all kinds of partner sites, (I even saw myself on asianfriendfinders.com years ago because of a profile on AFF at the time. The reply that he received was not "Yes you are stupid", which was not the question he asked. It was "Get over yourself, you are not that special or good looking"(that is only part of the reply, and was put here to clarify, since that thread is no longer available for viewing by the members). The thread degraded from there. The question was asked that even though they admittedly had lambasted new users also, and that some deserved it, their question was how did other users, knew that a specific new poster know whether "its the right thing to do" or not. The point was made that sometimes POSSIBLY new posters leave when in fact, if given a chance, seem to be able to become posters that the other users respond to and hang around to add different viewpoints to the forums. Some of them hang around in spite of what they PERCEIVE are unfriendly boards. (I believe some of them have posted in this very thread) Notice I didn’t say whether the boards are on an even keel or not, because I believe for the most part most users think they are. The difference in opinion seems to concern new users and their reception by other users at times. PERCEPTION is a two way street, an established user (or users) PERCEIVE (correctly or not) that a poster is a troll, or maybe someone that is posting for reasons such as attention etc., and then formulate their answers accordingly. On the same token, there are times that an established user that may have a more blunt posting style answers a newbie and they are PERCEIVED as being rude, etc. and in turn the new poster may formulate their answers based on their perception. In both of these cases, the threads usually degrade and go downhill quickly. I'm not saying who, if anyone, is right or wrong, but what I see (hopefully objectively) happening. I don't think there is a clique (taking the stance they don’t organize responses etc,) possibly as much as the same posters tend to react in the same way when they PERCEIVE that they see a poster they think is a troll, wanker, or stupid.
On this note, now is as good a time as any to let the posters know about something that is going to be happening soon. Other than the last week of me not keeping the momentum going because of real life, (and my apologies to the users I am getting ready to reference for leaving them hanging) there IS a welcome wagon being formed to welcome new members to the site. Several posters from the forums and Video Chat have accepted my request to be part of this group, and are very enthusiastic about it, as am I. Hopefully with the offer from an existing user to let them know about all of the possibilities that exist within Collarme, and help with features as to how to search, how to reach Support if needed, etc., there will be many benefits to new AND existing members. Several members on the "other side" don't even know the forums or chat areas even exist, and some that do"lurk" and not post for various reasons.
Here is a point for consideration by established posters. Let's say, that the consensus is that a user is a troll, or naive, or whatever. Have you considered even if you are "rightfully" giving the new user what you think "they deserve", how many others are possibly lurking thinking about making their first post that are the kinds of posters that others would welcome, but see another user lambasted, and because of that action, think that if they post they may possibly get the same reception? Remember, they are new users, they haven't been around long enough to see that only the posters that some of the others PERCEIVE to be asshats receive that kind of reception. They close the forums window and never come back. (To john1001, I am not intimating in ANY way that you were what they call an “asshat” on your thread). Possibly with a letter and a hello from a site member and offer of help if needed, there will be a lot of new blood in the forums, with new subjects, etc., and much more diverse discussions.
I am extremely grateful to the posters that agreed to help, and apologize to them for leaving them hanging, but we will be getting things going quickly, and again, my apologies for the delay, as I know you were all very excited and ready to go right away). I will make an announcement in the forums soon when this is started, so everyone will know about the change. Even though we only enforce “niceness” in the intros, possibly with new posters, (if ya'll want to keep newcomers coming in) it might be better to hang back and see on some of them as to motives etc, instead of assuming the worst. There are hopefully going to be a LOT of new diverse posters, that fall outside of the some of the “type or groups” that come to the forums for one thread to either promote a business by veiling it as an intro, or to start strife on the boards. That is a small minority already of the new posters, and hopefully they will become a smaller minority because of the new users that will be more confident to post because of being reached out to when joining by the awesome posters that have volunteered their time when asked.
I am closing this thread, I think the initial posts have been made that intend to do so, and have made what their reasoning/thinking is relating to their opinion regarding the topic.
Have a wondrous night.
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