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RE: Am I switch or Dom? - 11/21/2012 2:09:27 AM

blimey69

Posts: 53
Joined: 12/29/2008
Status: offline

To have the benefit of your experience and perspective is a gesture I do really appreciate. I am in need of a mentor, at present I know nothing much. I dont want to appear too enthuisastic. Yet I want you to know above all else what that gesture means to me.

There has been so much good advice. I only ever wanted to understand. I now believe my initial post was not just misguided, but completely incorrect. Like I was told, more bitterness than need for self discovery. Maybe unconscously trying to still be what my ex wanted me to be. I am processing that now. It was not about the need for kinky sex though, and it comes accross as that.

Below I have written some base feelings. If I am nothing in terms of sub,switch ,dom I need to know.

I am needy, sometimes strong, sometimes too strong. I need a woman to understand me. when they do its great, when I stop understanding myself....well it goes wrong. Its always my need for sex that destroys my relationships. The control this lifestyle offers, on all sides, I hoped would give me the discipline I needed to control those needsor have them satisfied. After much thought, I hope it will stop me being so selfish. Stop the pain I cause. I do need order, and an understanding of what is expected from me. What I am allowed to expect in return. I never get that until the end, when it is too late to fix.

I want to believe. I want people to believe me. I want to be loved. I want to love. I want to be pleased. I want to please. I want to give love. I want to be given love. When I give, what I was given is taken away. I stop giving. I become a monster when I dont get sex, after the outburst. The guilt from me. I apologise. I try to change. I fail. I leave or I am left. I never stop loving the person I have left or has left me. I just feel hurt that they have gone. That they stopped giving me what I most desired. Love in abundance, all the sex I wanted to stop these selfish outbursts. .

I am frustrated with that because I warn that may happen. If I know what destroys the love for me, is it not right to tell my partner that?
Where do you think I have gone wrong? it happens every time. I want to be everything to my woman. I become nothing in the end. What am I? What needs to be done?

(in reply to MstSebastian)

Post #: 21

RE: Am I switch or Dom? - 11/21/2012 2:37:37 AM

blimey69

Posts: 53
Joined: 12/29/2008
Status: offline

Thanks

I do feel priviliged, that after a monster mistake of misunderstanding, guidance is still offered.

There is an understanding of relationship here, that I have never had or understood from counsellors I have gone to seek guidance from, from other men not in the lifestyle. Even if I am none of the above as it were.

I think Poise really hit the nail on the head when she asked 'What if you are neither? What if you're simply a man that simply wants to be happy in a relationship, and is willing to negotiate the terms of happiness? '

I do always try that, I have always tried to do that, and I always thought that was what I was. but I always fail.

Being an ex infantry soldier, I remember being taught, if all else fails...Train and learn how to make it succeed. Never give up. You will get where you need to be.

You are all an inspiration to me at the moment. What you say to me makes perfect sense. I have never agreed or if I am honest maybe didnt want to listen. I am listening now. I am learning. For that I really cannot thank you all enough.

(in reply to JeffBC)

Post #: 22

RE: Am I switch or Dom? - 11/21/2012 3:09:25 AM

blimey69

Posts: 53
Joined: 12/29/2008
Status: offline

I think you are right. I may have been looking for a label. Maybe its that ex forces thing of having to be labelled. I have been intrigued about the lifestyle for many years. I dont think I ever wanted to understand if it could help me before. But I keep coming back to it. Drawn to it, like a moth to a flame.

Yes I am confused, Im still not sure why. I sometimes contradict myself because of this. I am honest though, and I do love everything about a woman. even the things that drive me insane.

Am I looking for control of Women? I dont know. Am I looking for their acceptance and compliance? I dont know. Do I need to understand what a woman wants, and needs from me? Most defintely. Will I give them this? Well I know I want to.

I think the the sex to feel close thing is what I need to address. I really dont like that about myself. But being that close. You cant get any closer.

Well at least that is what I thought. I am coming to terms with the fact I was wrong. Its not easy. I do need rules. I do need boundaries. I need to know that I am needed the same in return. Maybe not told, but shown.

Its so difficult with the lifestyle being badged as a kinky sexual thing. There is so much dross and misguidance.
Here I feel clarity, an honesty I have searched for but one that eluded me.
I never understood it was, exactly as it said it was, a lifestyle.
I believed the hype. Now I want to learn the truth of it, as it is so much more.

(in reply to poise)

Post #: 23

RE: Am I switch or Dom? - 11/21/2012 6:47:06 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

Have you seen the booklist? http://www.collarchat.com/m_1726118/tm.htm

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to blimey69)

Post #: 24

RE: Am I switch or Dom? - 11/21/2012 8:14:50 AM

DomCplforslaves

Posts: 1
Joined: 8/20/2005
Status: offline

I have read your posts. My understanding is you feel grief over the lost of your ex. She is performing for another Dom the way you wanted her to perform for you. I see a pattern without you saying it all the time, thru your writngs, reading between the lines so to speak. WHY WHY WHY him and not me? If you were acting in the relationship as you write, then I imagine she was recieving some very mixed signals and it was frustrating as hell. Your answer in my eyes is, she does this for him because he probably knows who he is much better, solid, consistant in thought, knows how he wants it and doesnt steer much from that at anytime, except in the circumstance a change would be a better outcome. SOmeone, naming a sub, who craves dsicipline, and stability, and guiddance will not feel content with a changeable type dom. They expect solid answers and solid actions, and you appear to be all over the board with inconsistancy of self awareness.
I dont beleive anyone can tell you who you are, you dont know who you are, and it is causing you alot of pain, wanting someone to give you and answer in your confusion.
Is there a time you can remember that gives you great contentment when you think about it? Actions you performed, and you think back that was a perfect day? THe outcome was just what you were looking for? If you have such a day, try to think back to the actions you, yourself performed, if you can remember it, and this will probably give you great insight into who you want to be CONSISTANTLY.
If I was just guesing for fun, and just giving an opinion, which doesnt mean squat by the way, I think you want to be a dom or have dom tendencies, but your background says to you ITS WRONG, so therefore you are having alot of inconsistancies and think you are a switch, because you keep switching back to thoughts such as " I was not taught that way" I cant do that, I want to, it feels right, but no it doesnt feel right damn it, mother wouldnt approve!!
YOu need to do some serious soul searching, the only answers are within you, and over time they will piece together. Its not fast, slow process. I wouldnt advice having a LTR in the near future until you sort things out. Good luck.

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 25

RE: Am I switch or Dom? - 11/21/2012 8:18:03 AM

chatterbox24

Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomCplforslaves

I have read your posts. My understanding is you feel grief over the lost of your ex. She is performing for another Dom the way you wanted her to perform for you. I see a pattern without you saying it all the time, thru your writngs, reading between the lines so to speak. WHY WHY WHY him and not me? If you were acting in the relationship as you write, then I imagine she was recieving some very mixed signals and it was frustrating as hell. Your answer in my eyes is, she does this for him because he probably knows who he is much better, solid, consistant in thought, knows how he wants it and doesnt steer much from that at anytime, except in the circumstance a change would be a better outcome. SOmeone, naming a sub, who craves dsicipline, and stability, and guiddance will not feel content with a changeable type dom. They expect solid answers and solid actions, and you appear to be all over the board with inconsistancy of self awareness.
I dont beleive anyone can tell you who you are, you dont know who you are, and it is causing you alot of pain, wanting someone to give you and answer in your confusion.
Is there a time you can remember that gives you great contentment when you think about it? Actions you performed, and you think back that was a perfect day? THe outcome was just what you were looking for? If you have such a day, try to think back to the actions you, yourself performed, if you can remember it, and this will probably give you great insight into who you want to be CONSISTANTLY.
If I was just guesing for fun, and just giving an opinion, which doesnt mean squat by the way, I think you want to be a dom or have dom tendencies, but your background says to you ITS WRONG, so therefore you are having alot of inconsistancies and think you are a switch, because you keep switching back to thoughts such as " I was not taught that way" I cant do that, I want to, it feels right, but no it doesnt feel right damn it, mother wouldnt approve!!
YOu need to do some serious soul searching, the only answers are within you, and over time they will piece together. Its not fast, slow process. I wouldnt advice having a LTR in the near future until you sort things out. Good luck.

WHOA! LOL. This is my post and it came under this domcpl name. WEIRD. thats like the third time lately I sign in and someone elses profile comes up and i dont notice it. SOme glitch for sure!

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to DomCplforslaves)

Post #: 26

RE: Am I switch or Dom? - 11/21/2012 10:27:21 AM

SeekingTrinity

Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline

Something that struck me as curious as Ive read the latest installments this morning: how long have you been involved in this particular lifestyle? Are you new to it or have you been in it for awhile? If I was being honest, it seems to me that you are pretty novice at this. If Im incorrect, I do apologize. Its just how it came across to me. So the following was written with the assumption that you are rather new.

First things first: your control of a submissive is not going to be able to bring you the discipline you need in your own life. It is honestly unfair to expect that much from someone else. Having control over a submissive does not mean "woo hoo, its all about me and what I want and when I want it and how I want it." It means you have an obligation to provide for them what it is that they need. They look to you for guidance and structure. If you want it to work, you have to be willing to provide that. And in return, they are able to provide you with what it is you need in return. But it ultimately all starts with you. If you are all over the board when it comes to thoughts and feelings, how can they know which end is up? Claiming the dominant title does not mean there is a free pass on your part as far as not being an active participant in your relationships go. Far from it. If anything, it means that you have to step up and set the example.

Think of it this way, as a dominant you are both the captain AND the rudder of the ship you sail on. Confidence in your skills, knowledge of who you really are deep down inside, and your ability to lead with stability and consistency keeps the ship sailing on course even when you are navigating through whatever life might bring your way. But if you lack those things, you cant keep your ship under control and will crash into the first obstacle that comes along. There is a very real cost to be the boss.

Dominance may be on the surface about controlling other people, but it starts with you being able to control yourself. If you honestly cant stop yourself from having outbursts because you dont get what you want when you want it....can you really handle the responsibility and duty that comes with controlling another human being? When you do it right, its a beautiful thing to see a submissive in his or her element being able to live out what is their true nature inside. When you do it wrong, you are in a position to be able to cause someone a lot of pain and heartache and hurt. You can only crush someone under your boot so many times before they finally just break.

I too got the impression that you are just really confused right now. So pointing a finger at yourself and calling yourself whatever title you think sounds good isnt going to make it true. Its okay to take whatever time is needed to do some self evaluation of what it is you want and need....AND....what it is you are willing to provide in return. If you are truly new to this lifestyle, slow down a little.

(in reply to blimey69)

Post #: 27

RE: Am I switch or Dom? - 11/21/2012 11:28:41 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: blimey69

I can understand the reaction. I was looking for advice. I know nothing about the lifestyle and want to learn where I went wrong.
Yes I blame other people I am confused about what I want and what I do wrong. I did make mistakes I admit that. I know I was wrong. I told her that. But now I am more confused than ever.

Please help me understand. My mum is not the reason I am what I am. I did not mean blame. I just meant conditioning. I need guidance
I am sorry I upset you. I do and have told my ex she is still the love of my life. I still want her to be for me what she used to be. and now isnt.

Its hard when there is no guidance only scorn. Yes I know I might deserve it. but the fact is, I dont understand why

Thanks for the honesty though. I really do as much of that as i can get. I do want to understand where I went wrong

Naw...... Really? Say it isn't so.

You babbled on for a ridiculous amount of time. Are you really silly enough to think that affection, etc makes you a switch? And you want to go on about this 'conditioning' from your Mother?

You played at Master, but failed to Master her. From what I'm seeing, you haven't even mastered yourself. How do you expect to inspire submission or slavery in others if you don't have that?

Get yourself out amongst other people in authority transfer or power exchange relationships. You are in sorry need of an education.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to blimey69)

Post #: 28

RE: Am I switch or Dom? - 11/21/2012 2:00:28 PM

blimey69

Posts: 53
Joined: 12/29/2008
Status: offline

Yes I did babble, Yes I was confused. I know I need to start from the beginning. I have put other replies up to comments on what I have said. I am not just novice, I am more basic than that, but before I came here to ask an experienced member of the community...I had been advised, or read an awful lot of false or incorrect stuff. I can accept all the critisicm of what has been said. I am trying to listen. I am trying to learn.

I did say I was wrong with my first post. I had no idea where I was. It was why I chose this site, and I asked a master. No one has ever advised me. I have been expected to know with women 'who like a bit of pain' exactly how to act. I just dont. I like the feeling when they enjoy it. However their feeling is not easily visible to me when they dont.

There is more to it than just wanting to Dom or Switch. I am looking for myself. Firstly why the idea attracts me so much.
Is it control? I doubt it. As much as I may like to control, I dont like it when that control causes pain that is not wanted. I did not realise this at first.

No I dont understand myself. I do not understand my need for sex. I do not understand my need for the nylon thing, or why I cannot control myself when I am teased or offered it. Now that is a control that can be used on me, that I gladly accept. I will give any woman anything for the feel of her nylon covered feet on me, or my face, as long as I can pleasure her as equally as I want her to want to pleasure me. Hence the Switch confusion.

I do not understand, but the principles of this lifestyle do not for me cause a cheap thrill. I have listened to other advice on this thread and I realised how wrong the first post was. I sort of made out sex was the most important thing. and it must of seemed jealousy the next.

It has not been sex since I left my ex. Yes I do need the release, but no I do not want another woman other than the one I had , and lost. My fault completely. I still do not want pleasure with anyone else. I do have my weaker moments, but I have been able to refuse, and stay strong to the abstinence.

I never want to do what I did to her, to anyone else. Even if i am just a man looking for, or needing a stable balanced 'normal' relationship, being mentored would help greatly in other areas. Not just for me. Any woman that gave me themselves. I would know if I am a or should be, a sub switch or dom, or none of them. How to act correctly to avoid giving them the pain I have caused others.

I really havent come on this site to letch. I have come here to learn where my faults lie, and how to correct the false or confused principles I have acquired. I do not want a cheap thrill. I do want guidance so I do not hurt another woman again.

This is not a view held by most people when it comes to the BDSM culture. They believe it be just about pleasure in pain. Titilation, control, and dominance over a woman. Or just wierd.

I do not hold to any of those opinions. My apologies if I offended.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 29

RE: Am I switch or Dom? - 11/21/2012 2:07:21 PM

blimey69

Posts: 53
Joined: 12/29/2008
Status: offline

Hi. yes you are right. Novice is slightly more than what I am. I am more than basic.

I have seen in this lifestyle, something that every 'normal ' man can and should learn.
Slowing down is good advice. thank you.
I hope you realise that in this lifestyle I have seen something that can improve me. I want improvement. I am so fed up with hurting the ones I love.

I never thought of it as controling one self first. I am learning and understanding a little more each day. I am thankful for the patience and advice.

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)

Post #: 30

RE: Am I switch or Dom? - 11/21/2012 2:39:01 PM

blimey69

Posts: 53
Joined: 12/29/2008
Status: offline

Not to worry about the mis logon. I did take on board what you said. It is why I am here.

I know exactly what you mean about the ingrained attitude. I have fought with this a lot. Bought up as a jehovahs witness, then abandoning that for the army. I must have been mad.

Mind you the search for the truth of things. the need for improvement.... Im not mad. Just crave guidance to understand things better. To be better for others. In a mutual, not self centered way.

At the moment I have to address my feelings and dissect them. Yes I am in pain. Maybe because I was told by her not to treat her as she now wants treating, too many men had done that before, or maybe because i am half blind, mixed up and confused... I suspect the latter.

Seeing a way to understand and correct my values with the help of this site though. Most defintely a bonus. One that I know will teach me benefits whatever path I decide.

I just want to be better. I wish I had been better. I tried to be better but was ignorant of the facts. I dont like causing pain. But I do enjoy a lot of aspects of this lifestyle, while never being advised of their true meaning or effect.

I love to please woman. I love to give them what they want. I do not understand why sometimes they do not feel the same. I feel rejection, and act like a complete numpty. I am ashamed after the reaction, but of course by then it is too late. I believe through the discipline that this lifestyle offers, I can teach myself the self discipline I require.

I really dont think about the the 'mother would not approve' If anything i always try to do the opposite. maybe a more balanced approach is needed? Maybe the need, or the feeling of need to rebel is the problem?

I now know that hard work and patience is whats required, to shape myself into what I want to be. What makes me sad is I had to lose the one I loved to motivate me to attain this. I left because I was hurting her. Without knowledge I didnt know why. I now know I could have saved it. That hurts more. I dont want to make the same mistake again through ignorance.

I hope that makes sense.

(in reply to chatterbox24)

Post #: 31

RE: Am I switch or Dom? - 11/21/2012 3:09:58 PM

blimey69

Posts: 53
Joined: 12/29/2008
Status: offline

MstSebastian

Have you looked at my recent posts? I expect from my profile you may now understand the switch dom confusion a little better. Oh and my naiveity on the subject.

Do you have any other thoughts?

Your perspective would be greatly received.

Thanks
Kev (blimey69)

(in reply to JeffBC)

Post #: 32

RE: Am I switch or Dom? - 11/21/2012 3:25:02 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: blimey69

Yes I did babble, Yes I was confused. I know I need to start from the beginning. I have put other replies up to comments on what I have said. I am not just novice, I am more basic than that, but before I came here to ask an experienced member of the community...I had been advised, or read an awful lot of false or incorrect stuff. I can accept all the critisicm of what has been said. I am trying to listen. I am trying to learn.

I did say I was wrong with my first post. I had no idea where I was. It was why I chose this site, and I asked a master. No one has ever advised me. I have been expected to know with women 'who like a bit of pain' exactly how to act. I just dont. I like the feeling when they enjoy it. However their feeling is not easily visible to me when they dont.

There is more to it than just wanting to Dom or Switch. I am looking for myself. Firstly why the idea attracts me so much.
Is it control? I doubt it. As much as I may like to control, I dont like it when that control causes pain that is not wanted. I did not realise this at first.

No I dont understand myself. I do not understand my need for sex. I do not understand my need for the nylon thing, or why I cannot control myself when I am teased or offered it. Now that is a control that can be used on me, that I gladly accept. I will give any woman anything for the feel of her nylon covered feet on me, or my face, as long as I can pleasure her as equally as I want her to want to pleasure me. Hence the Switch confusion.

I do not understand, but the principles of this lifestyle do not for me cause a cheap thrill. I have listened to other advice on this thread and I realised how wrong the first post was. I sort of made out sex was the most important thing. and it must of seemed jealousy the next.

It has not been sex since I left my ex. Yes I do need the release, but no I do not want another woman other than the one I had , and lost. My fault completely. I still do not want pleasure with anyone else. I do have my weaker moments, but I have been able to refuse, and stay strong to the abstinence.

I never want to do what I did to her, to anyone else. Even if i am just a man looking for, or needing a stable balanced 'normal' relationship, being mentored would help greatly in other areas. Not just for me. Any woman that gave me themselves. I would know if I am a or should be, a sub switch or dom, or none of them. How to act correctly to avoid giving them the pain I have caused others.

I really havent come on this site to letch. I have come here to learn where my faults lie, and how to correct the false or confused principles I have acquired. I do not want a cheap thrill. I do want guidance so I do not hurt another woman again.

This is not a view held by most people when it comes to the BDSM culture. They believe it be just about pleasure in pain. Titilation, control, and dominance over a woman. Or just wierd.

I do not hold to any of those opinions. My apologies if I offended.

Quoting so that you know I am addressing you directly.

You know, you had Me right until the point about you going on about your need for sex and your nylon kink. There for a second, I thought you may really be enamored with the *woman* involved.

I'm just going to say this straight out. Mentoring or asking to learn isn't going to prevent you from being an ass in your relationships. Kink doesn't cure that. Having better relationship skills is what assists with that. I have to wonder if you have confused Dominance with treating people poorly.

Be a man with good relationship skills before attempting to be a Dominant. It works so much better that way.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to blimey69)

Post #: 33

RE: Am I switch or Dom? - 11/21/2012 4:36:45 PM

blimey69

Posts: 53
Joined: 12/29/2008
Status: offline

Thing is thats the thing that confuses me the most. that is what I do not understand. That is what I would like to address.

I hate it

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 34

RE: Am I switch or Dom? - 11/21/2012 4:47:57 PM

blimey69

Posts: 53
Joined: 12/29/2008
Status: offline

I was never enamored. I am still deeply in love. I dont want to do this to anyone else. To understand my lack of control would surely be more suitable than what I already know to be wrong.

Our relationship never started as sub dom or master slave. She was sub with me. I wanted to give her everything. When it changed, not only did I not understand. I suspected it was my fault. As I said, i do not want to do this to any other woman.

I do not understand my kink. I do not understand my need for sex. I just feel that this lifestyle can give me the control I am lacking. help me understand, so as not to repeat the same mistakes. As i said. it is not about sex anymore, but from past experience I am concerned the sight of the nylon that drives me crazy may ruin the chance I have to become the man you speak of.

I do and will always love her above anyone. That is how I feel now. I believe that is how i will always feel.

It was not a lifestyle relationship when it started. I have been told it was not one when it ended by my ex. That is what confused me. It was her realisation that set me to think that this lifestyle could help with my lack of control. I want that control of myself.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 35

RE: Am I switch or Dom? - 11/21/2012 4:51:09 PM

blimey69

Posts: 53
Joined: 12/29/2008
Status: offline

I am not being flippant i my reply. i just want to be the man I wanted to be for her. the one she needed. I dont expect to get back with her. I just want her to know I have taken her comments seriously, and after discussion think the discipline of this lifestyle will help more than a shrink.

(in reply to blimey69)

Post #: 36

RE: Am I switch or Dom? - 11/21/2012 5:48:56 PM

blimey69

Posts: 53
Joined: 12/29/2008
Status: offline

I am in sorry need of an education though, and your advice to 'get myself out there' and meet other people in authority transfer or power exchange relationships, has been duly noted, and will be acted upon. Just the titles themselves are a help really. It makes sense.

Thank you LadyPact.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 37

RE: Am I switch or Dom? - 11/21/2012 10:44:35 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

You are neither. You need therapy. Stop blaming everyone else for your issues. You have major ones that only a therapist can help you work on.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to blimey69)

Post #: 38

RE: Am I switch or Dom? - 11/22/2012 1:59:55 AM

blacksword404

Posts: 2068
Joined: 1/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: blimey69

I am not being flippant i my reply. i just want to be the man I wanted to be for her. the one she needed. I dont expect to get back with her. I just want her to know I have taken her comments seriously, and after discussion think the discipline of this lifestyle will help more than a shrink.

Counseling is likely your best bet. I think you might have been abused when you were younger. Now I don't know you so there's no way for me to know for sure. And I wouldn't expect you to admit it anyway. It would explain a lot of what you wrote. Or better yet why you wrote it. If so start with a shrink.

"after discussion think the discipline of this lifestyle will help" Hmmm.

"the discipline of this lifestyle" For Dominants this lifestyle offers no discipline whatsoever. Who is supossed to enforce this discipline upon you? What dominant would allow another dom to discipline him as though he were a sub or slave?

You are looking for the power to flow from your girl to you. Like some who are given power you don't know what to do with it, how to control it. The power made you felt in control but when she was with you long enough she saw that you were probably were indecissive. You probably were giving off mixed signals.

Power is like gravity. It flow from you out into the world. When you have complete control of yourself then you can start thinking about bringing a woman into the picture.

_____________________________

Don't fight him. Embrace your inner asshole.

Tu fellas magnus penum meum...iterum

Genuine catnip/kryptonite.
Ego sum erus.

The capacity to learn is a gift, the ability to learn a skill, the willingness to learn a choice. Dune HH

(in reply to blimey69)

Post #: 39

RE: Am I switch or Dom? - 11/22/2012 8:18:05 AM

blimey69

Posts: 53
Joined: 12/29/2008
Status: offline

Ok, i'll take that on board, but by being told I am blaming everyone else, and my attitudes to what I said that have become clear as being incorrect babble. which reminds and instills the fact of how incorrect I really was. That is good isnt it?

Looking further into that realisation, then me, then realising what you are saying is correct. then looking into what I really want again, with these comments in mind. It helps more.

leading to a different opinion, or discussion. A different way of thinking.

if I lost myself. Or who i used to be. Now realising I have changed into something that actually I do not like. Then through the instruction of straight talking, I have found something that has helped me overcome the pettiness from the initial post.
Can that not be construed as a positive? that this thread has been educational? Thats what I was searching for, that is what I am getting.

I cannot delete the first initial post of this thread. Not sure I want to. I want a reminder of what I was when I wrote it. before anyone helped me see it was absolute Tosh.

That doesnt mean this lifestyle is not for me. It just means that it might not be at the moment, until I re evaluate completely. what I was before, and what I had become, with what I really want now. Its not about the kink or the sex anymore. I came here for guidance, and I have been getting exactly what I needed to explore the possibility as to whether this is a lifestyle (after guidance) that could be for me, or not.

I am unsure, but then no one has ever really gone into detail with me to what it actually means to live it. I was misguided, I did misunderstand. I apolgise for my mis interpretation, and i read all that is written on this thread. I am being educated by the right people for a change.

If these comments change my way of thinking. It does not change what I am.
It has already to an extent, changed the person I was. For that I am grateful. Whatever the outcome.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 40

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Am I switch or Dom?

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