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Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub poss... - 12/2/2012 4:54:15 AM

starskygal

Posts: 20
Joined: 10/24/2012
Status: offline

Hi, I am still on the look for my real sub path if that makes sense.
I know I am a sub but I am still learning.

Anyway, is there anyone here who is also a narcissist and or a feminist or somwthing alike?

Im not an extreme feminist, I don't hate men I love them but I totally believe they are not better than women or more qualified or anything.
Gender equiality would be the right tag for my beliefs but leaning a little more towards women, I mean, I am one. I also think I am beautiful and almost out of this world ( I said almost lol), although I recognize other people's achievement and beauty and whatever(especially women) I just keep my greatness to myself, but it is there you know? I bet most of us women think like that, am I right?

So whenever I read profiles or messages, I hate it when a guy says he is smart because he went to college or has his own business or is offerng money and stuff like that, whenever I read that I am like..wtf! and move on Whenever I read "Im hot or a God" I move on, whenever I read something misogynistic I am like WWTTFF (caps and sol) and move on, the slightest comment against women gets me. When they say they are gentlemen and super educated and blah blah and then when looking at their pictures I realize they don't know how to hold a glass of water, wine whatever ... I move on.

Is it because of me? or is this how people in general react aswell? or I am wrong and I am not a sub?

Where is the line? Where do you draw it?

And is there something like switching from sub mood to regular? Like, I think I have a switch. Switch on; I don't mind too much about my feminist aspirations and maybe narcissistic as long as it is about me. Switch off, dont you dare!...

I am a little confused.

Thanks

< Message edited by starskygal -- 12/2/2012 5:07:31 AM >

Post #: 1

RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 5:12:21 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline

I'm a little confused too.

So you hate it when a guy says that he is smart, attractive or educated - even though you say similar in your profile?

I don't like misogynistic comments either, but I can't say I've ever dismissed someone based on the way they hold a glass of water.

And I can't speak for all women, but I don't think I'm out of this world or bask in my own greatness.

Does it mean you're not a sub? I have no idea. I'm not entirely sure what the rest of your question is asking. Is what because of you?

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to starskygal)

Post #: 2

RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 5:22:22 AM

starskygal

Posts: 20
Joined: 10/24/2012
Status: offline

quote:

So you hate it when a guy says that he is smart, attractive or educated - even though you say similar in your profile?

Exactly.

quote:

I don't like misogynistic comments either, but I can't say I've ever dismissed someone based on the way they hold a glass of water.

I should've separated those. Holding a glass of water has nothing to do with being misogynistic, I meant when they pretend to be educated gentlemen and then don't know how to hold a glass of water, but maybe that is something more personal.

quote:

And I can't speak for all women, but I don't think I'm out of this world or bask in my own greatness.

Thank you, that is what I wanted to know, if it's just me developing a mental disorder or a real thing we all believe.

I think my questions don't make much sense and are kind of confusing, hell, the whole thing isn't correctly written, my ideas and my mind is like that right now, I will try to clear it up in my mind and then come back and ask again.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

Post #: 3

RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 5:24:05 AM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

You could be the most narcissistic person on the planet, and still be submissive,
because, until you find a partner, you are merely meeting your definition of a sub.
Whether those qualities will attract a dominant man remains to be seen.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to starskygal)

Post #: 4

RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 5:32:41 AM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: starskygal
I am a little confused.

Why would you say that? I'd say you've hit the nail on the head. You're narcissistic which carries with it a certainly level of hipocrisy and other undersirable traits -- actually from your posts a whole raft of undesirable traits. So what's the confusion?

What I can tell you for certain is that whether or not your thought patterns qualify as a "mental disorder" I would never in a million years date you... not even if you were the most beautiful and sexual woman in the entire world... doubled. You almost need to ask yourself what sort of guy would date a woman who he knows is a narcissist because that's the kind of guy you're going to be dating. If that picture works for you then carry on. Otherwise something needs to change.

Here's a little tidbit for you. You can make of it what you will. According to a recent scientific study (real study, not magazine poll) the single largest contributing factor to breakup in relationships (in the US) is the amount of narcissism in the female. Have fun with that factoid.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to starskygal)

Post #: 5

RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 5:33:39 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

It is certainly possible to be a feminist and a submissive.

I think it's funny when someone claims to be intelligent and goes on to make spelling and grammar mistakes. (I know there's no direct correlation - one of the smartest men I know was a programmer for NASA yet couldn't spell "cat.") Don't TELL me you're intelligent - SHOW me.

As to narcissism, well, that doesn't exclude you from bottoming but could indeed complicate your ability to submit.

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to starskygal)

Post #: 6

RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 5:39:37 AM

thezeppo

Posts: 441
Joined: 11/15/2012
Status: offline

It does seem kind of contradictory to me that you believe in (mild) female superiority but look for a male dom, but I don't think the two are entirely mutually exclusive. There is a difference between a collective and an individual. As a general rule I believe in the superiority of women, but I don't believe or assume each individual woman is superior to each individual man. I suppose the best thing you could do would be to be as open and honest as you can be and see who bites.

(in reply to poise)

Post #: 7

RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 5:44:08 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

OP, do you want to be submissive or do you want a man to beat you the way you like to be beaten?

(Either is fine but it is important to know which you are.)

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to starskygal)

Post #: 8

RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 5:53:25 AM

lovenhate

Posts: 5
Joined: 6/24/2011
Status: offline

Ok, I'm not a sub but these are my thoughts:

1. Being a feminist and being a narcissist are NOT THE SAME THING.

2. If you think you're the greatest (which you're entitled to do), why do you hate guys who think the same about themselves? As someone who essentially came here to find my equal, I want someone who's worthy of me, who I'm attracted to physically (obviously) but also who can make me wet mentally, who is intelligent and attuned to me enough to seduce me with words and imagination. Now, of course one can be college educated or a business owner and still be a complete moron in many ways, but if a guy comes at me with a big ego I'll give him the chance to back it up. I have never heard of dismissing someone because he doesn't know how to hold a glass of water, though--is there a special secret gentlemanly way to do this, that your professors teach you in college?

(in reply to starskygal)

Post #: 9

RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 6:00:35 AM

starskygal

Posts: 20
Joined: 10/24/2012
Status: offline

Thanks guys.

quote:

You almost need to ask yourself what sort of guy would date a woman who he knows is a narcissist because that's the kind of guy you're going to be dating. If that picture works for you then carry on. Otherwise something needs to change.

I haven't found the "line" yet, yes, maybe something needs to change, we never stop learning and most of the guys I've drawn are mostly passive and subs Iguess. I'm the kind of people who wants to know it all, always win and stuff like that. I might need my feet on the ground and start from there.

quote:

Here's a little tidbit for you. You can make of it what you will. According to a recent scientific study (real study, not magazine poll) the single largest contributing factor to breakup in relationships (in the US) is the amount of narcissism in the female. Have fun with that factoid.

Lucky me im not in the US lol, jk you might be right though, after all a relationship needs two and those two are important. However I am not looking for anything serious right now. Hopefully time with help me finding the balance.

quote:

I think it's funny when someone claims to be intelligent and goes on to make spelling and grammar mistakes. (I know there's no direct correlation - one of the smartest men I know was a programmer for NASA yet couldn't spell "cat.") Don't TELL me you're intelligent - SHOW me.

If you are talking about me, my bad, english isn't my first language, I'm not even in the US :). If it isn't about me, (narcissist much?) I totally agree with you, show it.

quote:

As to narcissism, well, that doesn't exclude you from bottoming but could indeed complicate your ability to submit.

quote:

It does seem kind of contradictory to me that you believe in (mild) female superiority but look for a male dom, but I don't think the two are entirely mutually exclusive.

There is where I am confused, then I think I will have to rule in/out from experience then, everytime I read about it I'm like fine!, Í have never been in a real sub-dom thing so I guess I need to wait and see. But from what I've experienced and know, I think I am a total sub.

(in reply to thezeppo)

Post #: 10

RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 6:01:23 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Hi, starskygal. Bienvenidos a collarme.

The way this stuff is supposed to work is that you submit to your Dom. Him and only him (and those others he tells you to submit to. BTW, that doesn't have to be play or sexual submission - when I have cookouts, there's usually a couple of subs working in the kitchen because their Doms told them to).

You are to treat all other Doms (all other people, actually) with another level of respect. Very likely, it will be exactly the same as you did before you met him.

There are quite a few female subs that identify as feminists. And it does cause them some soul searching when they demand to be treated well, and also desire to be put over a man's lap, have their panties pulled down, and spanked. Saying that their relationship has its own rules, separate from how she treats the rest of the world, is the only way to deal with that.

I'm not sure what you mean by "Narcissism". You're Mexican and we're almost all from the USA, so I assume that the word's meaning might be different in your culture.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 11

RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 6:21:47 AM

starskygal

Posts: 20
Joined: 10/24/2012
Status: offline

quote:

OP, do you want to be submissive or do you want a man to beat you the way you like to be beaten?

(Either is fine but it is important to know which you are.)

You just nailed it, thanks!...I will have to think about this, thanks, Ill try to remember all the encounters Ive had and try to find out my position. Thanks!!

quote:

If you think you're the greatest (which you're entitled to do), why do you hate guys who think the same about themselves? As someone who essentially came here to find my equal, I want someone who's worthy of me, who I'm attracted to physically (obviously) but also who can make me wet mentally, who is intelligent and attuned to me enough to seduce me with words and imagination. Now, of course one can be college educated or a business owner and still be a complete moron in many ways, but if a guy comes at me with a big ego I'll give him the chance to back it up. I have never heard of dismissing someone because he doesn't know how to hold a glass of water, though--is there a special secret gentlemanly way to do this, that your professors teach you in college?

I don't know, everytime I meet someone irl their pick up line is usually about money, their car, bodyguards or their 101 houses around the world, I don't care! so I don't like those guys who throw generic and shallow lines. Like kalikshama said, dont tell me, show me. First of all I am not looking for things but for minds, souls and hearts, those things are easy to show, no need to tell them, kwim? And at the same time, my attitude or mind doesn't help, I usually let them talk and inside of me I start to question whatthey say and point out their mistakes, lies and stuff like that. So when I read lines like those fail pick up lines, then I'm like, why wasting time?
I put up a modest profile, I expect a modest profile aswell.

I didn't learn that in college but at home; from the stem and 3 fingers and as close to the bottom as possible. If it doesn't have a stem then never close to the top (opening? dont know the name) and three fingers (tops 4) including the thumb.

Thanks everyone for yout input, I will think about it kaliskama.

(in reply to starskygal)

Post #: 12

RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 6:29:22 AM

starskygal

Posts: 20
Joined: 10/24/2012
Status: offline

Thanks Darksteven, narcissism means egotism, vanity, conceit, or simple selfishness.

quote:

Hi, starskygal. Bienvenidos a collarme.

The way this stuff is supposed to work is that you submit to your Dom. Him and only him (and those others he tells you to submit to. BTW, that doesn't have to be play or sexual submission - when I have cookouts, there's usually a couple of subs working in the kitchen because their Doms told them to).

Thanks, I am aware of it, the thing is that I would only do it play or sexually, hell I don't even know how to cook lol! No, seriously, I am a bedroom dom then I think?

quote:

You are to treat all other Doms (all other people, actually) with another level of respect. Very likely, it will be exactly the same as you did before you met him.

Would you mind explaining that to me please? or a link or something? :)

quote:

There are quite a few female subs that identify as feminists. And it does cause them some soul searching when they demand to be treated well, and also desire to be put over a man's lap, have their panties pulled down, and spanked. Saying that their relationship has its own rules, separate from how she treats the rest of the world, is the only way to deal with that.

Wonderful, ok, so I'm not the only one, I guess I'll have to read more about this specifically to not feel alienated or mentally unbalanced then lol!

Gracias!

(in reply to starskygal)

Post #: 13

RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 6:33:15 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

Based on your limited responses here OP, you are not a feminist (Gawd forbid) and I seriously doubt you are a sub.

You ARE a narcissist.

For instance, you say you don't want a shallow person, but you reject people based on how they hold a water glass. That kind of thing only makes sense to the narcissistic personality.

I suspect you are young and attractive and used to getting lots of male attention. Your entire ego appears to be built on that. You know what? At 28, it really is only a matter of time before the beauty of youth begins to fade, and men find you far less attractive physically. In order to gain all that male attention you crave, you'll have to be able to offer something else. Like a personality.

Good luck, I fear you will need it.

_____________________________

(in reply to starskygal)

Post #: 14

RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 6:45:24 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

Water glasses don't have stems, wine glasses do. What you described applies to white wine as you hold it low so as not to warm it with your hands, a red you cup the bottom of the bowl in your hands to warm it. One holds a teacup with three fingers but a water glass being heavier, requires four with the pinky raised just so.

That said, you are not narcassistic, you are just an overcompensating snob. You dismiss men out of some internal insecurity or fear. What was your parents relationship like? What was your relationship like with your father?

(in reply to starskygal)

Post #: 15

RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 7:01:18 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: starskygal

Thanks Darksteven, narcissism means egotism, vanity, conceit, or simple selfishness.

I know what the textbook definition is. I meant as it is done in practice. A decent amount of self esteem is necessary, and the point at which it is considered to be narcissism would be culturally dependent IMO.

quote:

the thing is that I would only do it play or sexually, hell I don't even know how to cook lol! No, seriously, I am a bedroom dom then I think?

I believe that you're thinking you might be a bedroom-only sub. (Also known as a bottom.) That's possible - a bedroom sub submits sexually because it gets her wet. Someone who submits outside the bedroom does so out of a desire to please or a wish to hand over full control.

quote:

quote:

You are to treat all other Doms (all other people, actually) with another level of respect. Very likely, it will be exactly the same as you did before you met him.
Would you mind explaining that to me please? or a link or something? :)

The idea that a sub submit only to her Dominant, and not to the hordes of great unwashed that claim to be Dominant? Makes sense - submission is a serious relationship thing. It's like saying that you shouldn't sleep with everyone who walks up to you and demands sex. Nope, no link.

quote:

quote:

There are quite a few female subs that identify as feminists. And it does cause them some soul searching when they demand to be treated well, and also desire to be put over a man's lap, have their panties pulled down, and spanked. Saying that their relationship has its own rules, separate from how she treats the rest of the world, is the only way to deal with that.

Wonderful, ok, so I'm not the only one, I guess I'll have to read more about this specifically to not feel alienated or mentally unbalanced then lol!

Gracias!

De nada!

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to starskygal)

Post #: 16

RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 7:14:59 AM

freedomdwarf1

Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline

I'm inclined to agree with Michael and CP in their views.

Certainly as far as holding a glass of water is concerned!
It would appear you know nothing much about culture or etiquette except snobbery.

A simple English phrase comes to mind here - "someone who thinks they knows all and knows fuck-all".

Your rejections of people based on some high-falluting ideals is, quite frankly, absurd in the extreme.
From your posts so far, I think your whole persona is extremely shallow and not someone I would want to know.
In the UK, we call them "Blonde Bimbo's" or "Essex Girls" - someone who thinks more of their looks and outward appearance than what makes them a decent person on the inside (and that's nothing to do with being a feminist either).

I don't honestly believe you are a sub at all.
I think you like the idea of fantasizing about being a sub.

Best of of luck.
Without a lot of deep soul-searching, I think you are going to need it.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 17

RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 7:20:14 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

This is why you're a crappy dom, you don't know that water glasses *can* have stems. ALL good dominants know how to drink out of stemmed glasses. It's in Dom 301, section 25.

Both red and white wine is held by the stem so as not to warm the wine.

Also, it is brandy and cognac that you warm with your hands - these (but of course) are served in balloon glasses.

The oracle has <coff coff> spoken.

_____________________________

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 18

RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 7:21:40 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

Before we go to far, this woman is fromm Mexico, lower class men are haed working Catholic men, but upper class are bad paradies of machismo. The only ones worse are Persians.

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

Post #: 19

RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 7:31:56 AM

freedomdwarf1

Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline

Dunno about where you live CP, but over here water glasses are known as tumblers or Hi-Ball glasses.
Only wine glasses and Champagne glasses (flutes) ever have stems.
Brandy bowls, although are technically "glasses" aren't refered to as glasses generally (except for the uneducated).

As someone who has done a little silver-service, this is what we are taught here and is certainly what you'd find at places like The Hilton and Savoy hotels and also at any Royal functions.

Just my

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 20

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