Sinergy
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Joined: 4/26/2004
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Bearlee
… and, I absolutely loved Sinergy’s analogy with his dog. I wonder if, because the dog came when he was called…one would consider it a ‘doormat’? It seems to me these several threads have been more about refusal to ‘come when called’ than the boisterousness of a bright, inquisitive submissive.
It seems to me that if I had a dog, I’d expect it to come when I called it…
Hello A/all,
I have trained a few dogs. The thing about training dogs (and I have had this argument with many people) is that a dog is, first and foremost, a dog. It has a certain set of parameters it was installed with. Submission to the alpha male, Dominance to the beta members of it's group, etc. They make noise. They sniff crotches. When they love something they will do whatever they can to protect it. They want to chase cats.
People, in my experience, tend to anthropomorphize their dog. My dog always does X. My dog is Y. Where X and Y are human traits. I train my dogs to come when called. Most of the time they do. Sometimes they dont. When they dont, a little research on my part soon allows me to discover the dog had treed a cat, was stuck on a barbed wire fence, had a puppy to molest, or couldnt get the surfer it was trying fetch back to the beach in a timely manner.
Which is not to say that submissives are dogs. I dont consider myself all-knowing and omnipotent. I am in a relationship with this person for my own learning and growth, as well as for hers. What I do firmly believe is that a submissive does what she does for me because she wants to do it, she respects the dynamic, etc. If she does not do what I want her to do, I dont immediately jump on the punitive bandwagon and get angry with her. First thing I want to do is find out WHY she is being contrary. I dont want to assume she is trying to cause me grief with her behavior.
An analogy from raising children comes to mind; There is a reason the baby is crying. Search long enough and one can find the reason, fix it, and the baby will stop crying. I lived this with two babies for several years, and I cannot recall a time where there was not something causing the baby to cry.
Just me, could be wrong, but there you go.
Sinergy
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"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"
"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle
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RE: Levels Of Submissives - 
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