Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: The decline of collarme


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: The decline of collarme Page: <<   < prev  10 11 [12] 13 14   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: The decline of collarme - 1/1/2013 2:54:58 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		Yes, I didn't mean for my "see a few people much differently" to be a negative remark (I realized later it may have come across that way). I gained respect for some and lost respect for others, but in the end, people are who they are, depending on their lives at the time, so it's all good. I do think the fiasco changed the place, though.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to Aswad)
Profile   Post #: 221
RE: The decline of collarme - 1/1/2013 2:57:54 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf

~FR~

Don't post much anymore, but I read (or at least skim topics). I think the two biggest reasons CM will never be like it was 6 years ago (what many call the good ole days) is for two reasons:

1) From 2005 to about 2007 or 08, there was a huge amount of discussions going on. Things were discussed from as many angles as possible. Many things were discussed over and over. Then came the "you should search for that it has been discussed before" and posters became experts at just posting links of old discussions. So when new folks came along, the asked a question that had been asked before and instead of discussion, they get links.

2) A different venue for discussions opened in FetLife. FL has it's place, but as a discussion venue it is too difficult to follow discussions with many replies. It has it's niche and CM has it's niche.

Nothing will change these two things. Discussion venues, whether they are boards, chatrooms, or mail lists, will always evolve in some way.

People can either be the change they want, or they can add more CO2 to the atmosphere.


To address the first point: often when new people ask a "how do you...?" type of question they are referred to Google or are asked if they have already done a search here first.

People come to forums such as this because they are seeking engagement.
Most people do know how to use a search engine.
A search engine won't give you human interaction.
You won't get a sense that people understand you from a search engine and often you won't find self-clarification from a search engine.

If someone asks something specific and I think an outside link will help, then I will post the link, but I think many people post on forums because they want to be heard.


_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to OrionTheWolf)
Profile   Post #: 222
RE: The decline of collarme - 1/1/2013 3:58:12 PM   
stellauk


Posts: 1360
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

To address the first point: often when new people ask a "how do you...?" type of question they are referred to Google or are asked if they have already done a search here first.

People come to forums such as this because they are seeking engagement.
Most people do know how to use a search engine.
A search engine won't give you human interaction.
You won't get a sense that people understand you from a search engine and often you won't find self-clarification from a search engine.



This is so true and it comes with a second issue - very few people ever bother to dig deeper and ask questions.

So many threads are started where the OP posts a link to an article or explains a specific situation and what tends to happen is that most (or all) will respond with a ready made fixed opinion.

Threads often develop in one of two ways. The first is where people chime in with different opinions and usually by the end of the first page or into the second you end up with two or three different camps of posters expressing just three or so different opinions.

The second is where you get someone posting a fixed, ready made opinion, and then post after post of different posters all expressing the same opinion and making the same point but in different words. Then someone will post with a different opinion making different points, and then it continues on, where post after post comes in all reiterating the same points and the thread continues developing in a sort of lockstep.

I've even done it myself, coming into a thread giving a different opinion and .. as predicted, the next poster adds to the thread giving the same or a very similar opinion to mine and making the same points. It's amusing to watch this.

Generally speaking threads in P & R develop in the first of these two ways, people chime in with their opinion and rather than digging deeper and trying to find out why someone has formed an opinion what tends to happen is that people will dig in their heels and start to defend their opinion, conflicts ensue over who is right and who isn't, and this is where various posters start attacking each other.

But this is not exclusive to P & R but happens right across the boards.

Also I don't understand why an opinion in P & R always needs to be backed up by sources or linked to some article. If I wanted to parrot the same opinion as someone's article, editorial or blog, then why would I need to post in the first place? This isn't high school or college, but a message board on a kinky website. If I wanted to know what a large section of the media thinks on a given topic I'd set up a news feed on my computer.

But getting back, this isn't something which is specific or peculiar to the boards here it happens on other sites too such as Facebook.

It seems that people are far more willing to give superficial opinions based on their assumptions rather than trying to dig deeper, ask questions, and gain a better understanding about a particular topic or situation.

It almost seems as if people are afraid of expressing a minority opinion, or standing out from the crowd, or admitting openly that they were wrong or are even inclined to change their opinion during the course of a thread.

To me having an open mind and asking questions are two great ways of creating good discussions.

Just my 0.02


_____________________________

Usually when you have all the answers for something nobody is interested in listening.

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 223
RE: The decline of collarme - 1/1/2013 4:03:54 PM   
heartcream


Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
Status: offline 		Yeah that same thing has been going on since I hit the streets here. That woman usta call up a long line of chats we were meant to go check out when people had already discussed whatever subject. It came off pompous and annoying as heck. I didnt want to read what a buncha folks I dont know said back when. Then if you brought up when of these dusty old threads ya got shite on for bringing up an old thread. Ya caint win with some people.

_____________________________

"Exaggerate the essential, leave the obvious vague." Vincent Van Gogh

I'd Rather Be With You

Every single line means something.
Jean-Michel Basquiat



(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 224
RE: The decline of collarme - 1/1/2013 4:05:31 PM   
heartcream


Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
Status: offline 		Yeah Stellauk, I agree with much of this. Why do I need to cite what some other muh fuh said to give validity to what I see/feel/think.

_____________________________

"Exaggerate the essential, leave the obvious vague." Vincent Van Gogh

I'd Rather Be With You

Every single line means something.
Jean-Michel Basquiat



(in reply to heartcream)
Profile   Post #: 225
RE: The decline of collarme - 1/1/2013 5:13:30 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Also I don't understand why an opinion in P & R always needs to be backed up by sources or linked to some article. If I wanted to parrot the same opinion as someone's article, editorial or blog, then why would I need to post in the first place? This isn't high school or college, but a message board on a kinky website. If I wanted to know what a large section of the media thinks on a given topic I'd set up a news feed on my computer.

In my village on the banks of the Potomac, there's a popular saying often attributed to Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan: "Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not to his own facts." Or her own, of course.

That often comes to mind as I skim P&R threads, for three reasons:

(a) Facts impinge on P&R topics in a way that they may not elsewhere. If someone says, "I think the masterly thing to do in this situation is X," so be it. Ditto for "My favorite kind of pie is pecan." If someone says, on the other hand, "Unions destroyed the auto industry," I think one's entitled to say, "What's your basis for that assertion? What roles did management and the rise of imports play?"

(b) Posters do sometimes confuse their own opinions with facts, as with "It's healthier for a child to grow up with opposite-sex parents than same-sex ones." Asking for a source is the P&R way of saying, "Is this actually true, or are you pulling it out of your hindquarters?"

(c) People also draw "facts" from sources with highly varying degrees of credibility. Thus we had a fair bit of pre-election discussion, rooted in a poorly sources YouTube video, on "Obama phones," only to learn after folks did some digging that the program in question long predated the current administration.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to stellauk)
Profile   Post #: 226
RE: The decline of collarme - 1/1/2013 5:33:39 PM   
kdsub


Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

It almost seems as if people are afraid of expressing a minority opinion, or standing out from the crowd, or admitting openly that they were wrong or are even inclined to change their opinion during the course of a thread.


When it comes to politics there are usually just a few sides to an issue. So what do you expect? stellauk I must say I have not heard you ask why someone has a particular opinion. I hear from you your own opinion on the issue. Now there is nothing wrong with that of course. But you’ve no reason to complain when you AND I do the same.

When it comes to minority opinions I rather enjoy expressing them. But I don’t look at it as a minority opinion…just my opinion and I express that every time and I’m sure most do as well. So perhaps there is just agreement on most issues…at least on each side of the political ideologies most ascribe too here.

Butch

_____________________________

Mark Twain:

I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing

(in reply to stellauk)
Profile   Post #: 227
RE: The decline of collarme - 1/1/2013 6:01:30 PM   
blacksword404


Posts: 2068
Joined: 1/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

Yes, I didn't mean for my "see a few people much differently" to be a negative remark (I realized later it may have come across that way). I gained respect for some and lost respect for others, but in the end, people are who they are, depending on their lives at the time, so it's all good. I do think the fiasco changed the place, though.


It almost destroyed his place. There were people claiming to have talked to them. People hero worshiping them. After all that it would have only one more blow to shred people's confidence in the site. Suppose you had found out dark steven, ladyp were socks? That whole situation was like a civil war.

_____________________________

Don't fight him. Embrace your inner asshole.

Tu fellas magnus penum meum...iterum

Genuine catnip/kryptonite.
Ego sum erus.

The capacity to learn is a gift, the ability to learn a skill, the willingness to learn a choice. Dune HH

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 228
RE: The decline of collarme - 1/1/2013 6:14:10 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blacksword404
Suppose you had found out dark steven, ladyp were socks? That whole situation was like a civil war.

Well that's what some of the aftermath issues were - one group of people felt totally hurt, angry and deceived, and another group felt there was no reason to feel that way. It was totally the Civil War of CM. I think a good handful of folks left after that. If it were to happen again - with names like your examples - I'd go, too.



_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to blacksword404)
Profile   Post #: 229
RE: The decline of collarme - 1/1/2013 6:33:17 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Having missed all that, but being brought up to speed (by some veddy saucy friends), it blows my mind about Arpig.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 230
RE: The decline of collarme - 1/1/2013 6:33:30 PM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline 		If this question constitutes a thread hijack, please ignore it with my apologies. I've seen a lot of references lately to this fiasco being discussed now, something about "the 4 lesbians" and something about Hannah, all sounding like something really crazy happened here not too long ago to change CM. Lots of us are newbies and may wonder what happened. If anyone would care to give us a little history, it would be appreciated.

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 231
RE: The decline of collarme - 1/1/2013 6:49:17 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		Keeping my opinion of this situation to myself, but this link should give an indication of the lasting ripples created by Arpig & the Hallucinations.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
Profile   Post #: 232
RE: The decline of collarme - 1/1/2013 6:51:44 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

It was totally the Civil War of CM


We had a Civil War? And I missed it?

Well, damn.

I'm guessing reenactments are unlikely.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 233
RE: The decline of collarme - 1/1/2013 6:55:56 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Let's hope so, dc

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to dcnovice)
Profile   Post #: 234
RE: The decline of collarme - 1/1/2013 7:09:02 PM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		This is correct in my opinion as well.

What happened for the longest time is that a new poster would ask a question, then a regular would post that it had been asked before and to do a search. There is no discussion in that.

Then the regular posters wonder why there are not as many topics. It is because so many have already been discussed, and few want to revisit a topic.

The other issue relates to it, which is that people want to engage others in discussion so they try elsewhere. Since a new large venue opened about the time of the decline, many went to check it out.

Now mix in all the drama that happens in discussion forums on a large scale, and you have many that have left. Always remember that it is a person's choice to leave, and if they say "so and so" or "such and such" made them leave, they are admitting they really have no internal power to determine their own course and are the victim of their own psychological issues that trigger their behavior.

Posting links are helpful, but that happened a lot less than the "stop asking a question that has been asked before" responses.

With those I see here now, and read (I just don't engage in discussion as much anymore) I think the forum will do just fine as long as the naysayers will lighten up, and those that want to make mountains out of mole hills just stop doing that.


quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

To address the first point: often when new people ask a "how do you...?" type of question they are referred to Google or are asked if they have already done a search here first.

People come to forums such as this because they are seeking engagement.
Most people do know how to use a search engine.
A search engine won't give you human interaction.
You won't get a sense that people understand you from a search engine and often you won't find self-clarification from a search engine.

If someone asks something specific and I think an outside link will help, then I will post the link, but I think many people post on forums because they want to be heard.




_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 235
RE: The decline of collarme - 1/1/2013 7:32:35 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Keeping my opinion of this situation to myself, but this link should give an indication of the lasting ripples created by Arpig & the Hallucinations.

Oh. My. Word.

Hannah was not my cup of tea, so I tended to skip venues where she or the Hannettes were performing.

Sounds like I saved myself some melodrama; probably just as well.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
Profile   Post #: 236
RE: The decline of collarme - 1/1/2013 8:50:59 PM   
stellauk


Posts: 1360
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

When it comes to politics there are usually just a few sides to an issue. So what do you expect? stellauk I must say I have not heard you ask why someone has a particular opinion. I hear from you your own opinion on the issue. Now there is nothing wrong with that of course. But you’ve no reason to complain when you AND I do the same.



Hello Butch, warmest wishes for 2013. What I posted above wasn't a complaint at all, just an observation and.... I included myself in the 'people' about whom I made the observations (not admittedly not clearly, but I do post here, yes?). I've done it a few times, but not often enough beyond rarely or occasionally.

When it comes to politics there's certainly more than a few sides. This migth surprise you, but even though I identify as left wing or socialist, I tend to disagree with many other socialists almost as often as I do among people on the political right.

Politics isn't meant to be everyone rooting for the party as you would as a sports fan with yoyur favourite team, but an open discussion of ideas.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

When it comes to minority opinions I rather enjoy expressing them. But I don’t look at it as a minority opinion…just my opinion and I express that every time and I’m sure most do as well. So perhaps there is just agreement on most issues…at least on each side of the political ideologies most ascribe too here.

Butch


As you do which is why I enjoy reading your posts. I think in contrast to this perceived 'decline' P & R is going through a golden era at the moment. I can't remember which politican said it, but the words 'you have never had it so good' come to mind.

_____________________________

Usually when you have all the answers for something nobody is interested in listening.

(in reply to kdsub)
Profile   Post #: 237
RE: The decline of collarme - 1/1/2013 8:54:55 PM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline 		Read that thread. Thanks for providing that link. God almighty.

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
Profile   Post #: 238
RE: The decline of collarme - 1/1/2013 9:49:17 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		For me if there happened to be another civil war here and there turned out to be more socks of well known posters, it still would not bother me since I don't know anyone on here in person and therefore I have no feelings toward them one way or another. I have no ties to everyone here. I assume everyone is a sock and I'm simply talking to another machine.

Makes life much more easier when you can say "I don't give a fuck. What's the big deal?"



_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
Profile   Post #: 239
RE: The decline of collarme - 1/2/2013 1:09:46 AM   
metamorfosis


Posts: 1132
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida
If YOU started a thread as heartcream has challenged, I don't think you'll get the same negative reaction, because people know you and like you here. If a newbie started the same thread, we'd see a different response...


That was sort of my point. I think it's up to the more seasoned posters to start those threads. And I am still going to start one.

Pam

< Message edited by metamorfosis -- 1/2/2013 1:27:03 AM >

_____________________________

Pam (aka gungadin09)

Forum Freak

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 240
Page:   <<   < prev  10 11 [12] 13 14   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: The decline of collarme Page: <<   < prev  10 11 [12] 13 14   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094