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How to filter the fakes? - 12/27/2012 2:21:48 AM   
Angelcurvysub


Posts: 13
Joined: 12/15/2012
Status: offline 		I have run into many fakes not just here but in other sites. I know it happens especially on the internet. what is your advice on how to filter who are fakes and who is real? Even when given a phone number, address and full name it hasn't made a difference.
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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/27/2012 2:22:51 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		what is a 'fake'?

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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/27/2012 2:25:04 AM   
ccc3333


Posts: 156
Joined: 12/24/2012
Status: offline 		angel curvy, that makes two of us... i'm losing faith in this site..

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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/27/2012 5:07:23 AM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline 		I have found that expecting nothing, except what *I* can give me, works wonders.

I make sure I am content, happy, and all that jazz. If I happen to find someone to share that with, who can make my life better than it is alone, yay for me.

If not, I still adore me.

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yep

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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/27/2012 5:15:26 AM   
Angelcurvysub


Posts: 13
Joined: 12/15/2012
Status: offline 		cc333 its not the web site its the internet. just happens. jstanothersub I am happy with my life I have much to keep me busy. my hope is the right Dom finds me so I won't give up will keep moving forward

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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/27/2012 5:51:02 AM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Angelcurvysub

I have run into many fakes not just here but in other sites. I know it happens especially on the internet. what is your advice on how to filter who are fakes and who is real? Even when given a phone number, address and full name it hasn't made a difference.



You and I may define fake differently. To me, fake is a bot or where the person is portraying a gender other than what they are (i.e., a male pretending to be a domme to scam money out of male subs). There is no real "person" behind it, just a machine. They are usually trying to get you to a paid site.

The other classification I use is "incompatible". Chances are, if they are giving you an address, phone number, and full name, they are incompatible, not fake. They are looking for different things than you are. A scammer isn't likely to give you that information and a bot won't.

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No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/27/2012 5:59:11 AM   
Oniw17


Posts: 10
Joined: 10/20/2012
Status: offline 		So...Excuse my ignorance. What exactly is a fake? What does anyone stand to gain by wasting their own time(well, that's the only thing I can think of that you would mean)?

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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/27/2012 7:00:27 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Talk with them online. What makes them tick? How well did they get along with their parents? Anyone willing to slog through vanilla conversation and get to know you is real IMO.

That screens out wankers, goodtime Charlies, fake Doms who want to command you from the get-go, etc.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/27/2012 8:29:55 AM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Angelcurvysub
what is your advice on how to filter who are fakes and who is real?

Ask them to send you money.


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"I tend to pay attention when Rule speaks" - Aswad

"You are sweet, kind, and ever so smart, Rule. You ALWAYS stretch my mind and make me think further than I might have on my own" - Duskypearls

Si vis pacem, para bellum.

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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/27/2012 9:55:15 AM   
stellauk


Posts: 1360
Status: offline 		There's no such thing as fakes, just people with different interests and/or different agendas.

Using a brain and a sufficient degree of social skills should be sufficient for anyone to separate those who share similar interests from those who don't.

But I can understand how to many people this can get frustrating, evidenced by just how regular we get these types of threads starting.

Please also bear in mind that there's a greater diversity of people with a greater diversity of interests, so it might take a bit more sifting and quite a bit more patience to find the people you are looking for.

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Usually when you have all the answers for something nobody is interested in listening.

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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/27/2012 10:29:08 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		before I agree with Stella, I'd love to know specifically what the OP and ccc3333 are running into that they see as "fake".

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I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/27/2012 10:30:10 AM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ccc3333

angel curvy, that makes two of us... i'm losing faith in this site..

Putting faith in a website to find the person of your dreams was your first mistake. Put faith in yourself. A website isn't going to do the work for you.

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Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/27/2012 10:32:17 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stellauk


Using a brain and a sufficient degree of social skills should be sufficient for anyone to separate those who share similar interests from those who don't.



There's your answer!


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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/27/2012 11:09:17 AM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline 		I think the majority of the problem is the expectation of what they think a website should do.

You can bring up a website in the blink of an eye these days.
You can search for all sorts of info too.
Everything happens in an instant and I get the feeling they are wanting the website to bring them instant results.

I got news for you - it don't happen that way.

The internet is just a tool, a means of comunication.
Certain websites, may give you a short-cut to access other people - but that's all it does.
The rest, I'm afraid, is up to you.
Think of it as window dressing, your own private window in a shop-front of tens of thousands of similar others.
You need to put your stuff in the window that says what you need to say and in a way that is acceptable to those you are trying to attract.
If you bend the truth or put up something that just isn't you, you are very likely to be 'found out' and dropped like a hot potato.
Also, once you've done your window dressing, you must try to be who you are when chatting with someone.
Just because you have a window display doesn't guarantee any sales either - you have to stand out from the crowd.

In many ways, the internet is much harder work at the beginning and you need to do all the hard work - the website isn't going to do that for you.
There's no such thing as an 'instant' partner - this isn't Hollywood or MGM or Warner Bros where it all happens in the first few minutes. It takes time, patience (lots of that), and EFFORT on your part!!

(in reply to OsideGirl)
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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/27/2012 11:12:53 AM   
Moonhead


Posts: 16520
Joined: 9/21/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

what is a 'fake'?

Anybody who doesn't immediately answer the OPs messages, at a guess.


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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/27/2012 1:52:54 PM   
TheLilSquaw


Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline 		There are people who are not what or who they claim to be.
Ever watched the Catfish movies or the Catfish series?
If that is how the OP is defining fake, the only way to make sure someone is who / what they claim to be is to meet in person.
Although sadly even then people do lie.

If someone is fake simply because they don't answer your emails, follow your demands, ect then the term is being used in correctly.




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LilSquaw
Lifestyle & ProSwitch
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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/27/2012 2:56:05 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Angelcurvysub

I have run into many fakes not just here but in other sites. I know it happens especially on the internet. what is your advice on how to filter who are fakes and who is real? Even when given a phone number, address and full name it hasn't made a difference.


I know this is going to sound just way out there but.....talk to them. Get to know them.

I know...weird huh?


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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/27/2012 3:01:03 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I know this is going to sound just way out there but.....talk to them. Get to know them.

I know...weird huh?

You mean there isn't an EASY button for this? That's not right!

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/27/2012 3:02:46 PM   
PrincessBellaKae


Posts: 4
Joined: 9/27/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw

There are people who are not what or who they claim to be.
Ever watched the Catfish movies or the Catfish series?



Yess, I love Catfish. That's how I'd define fake too, I feel. Someone pretending to be something they're not? I suppose.

(in reply to TheLilSquaw)
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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/27/2012 3:04:47 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessBellaKae
Yess, I love Catfish. That's how I'd define fake too, I feel. Someone pretending to be something they're not? I suppose.

That would be the obvious definition. The problem is that we are all so used to people interpreting what someone is "pretending" to be and getting that interpretation wrong then calling them "fake".

I call myself a "master" (in the M/s sense) but I wouldn't be what a lot of slaves are looking for. That's the sort of "fake fake" we're wondering about.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to PrincessBellaKae)
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