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RE: Red Flags That You Missed - 1/3/2013 1:31:23 AM

littlewonder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Moonlightmaddnes

That is where I am more of a chicken then it is a red flag I guess. One person that is now one of my best friends we met on a fiction site I write on. We liked each others writings then started talking and eventually it was how awesome it would be if we could hang out. Well we are only about 7 hours from each other so one day she said she had some vacation and could drive up. I was shocked she would just drive up to my house and trust I was not an ax murderer. She did though and we had a great time and seem to always be planning when I will go to Texas or she will come here. Back when I was dating the internet was not like this. Nobody I knew had it and those who did not get on often since it was expensive since the phone company charged as well. I would be between my head coming up with all kinds of what ifs and it being so long that probably colors my perspective a bit.

I have to say before all of the blow ups about being safe and meeting people at coffee shops, I met guys all the time at his house or mine. I never felt afraid or anything. I've never once met anyone that wanted to kill me. Now I met quite a few who were clammy, shaky and all nervous and could barely speak two words lol, but never psycho killers. I figured it wasn't any different than my days of picking up strange men in bars.

But after I stopped doing the casual fuck buddy/ stranger sex thing though, I started just meeting men at coffee shops not because I was afraid to have them at my home, but just because I couldn't be bothered with getting them to leave. It's easier to make excuses at a coffeeshop on why you have to leave 5 minutes after you meet lol.

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 1/3/2013 1:32:04 AM >

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RE: Red Flags That You Missed - 1/3/2013 5:39:15 AM

kalikshama

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I didn't miss this red flag - calling his fourth car crash in eight months "bad luck." Funny, after how I said "if you have another accident, you can't borrow my car while yours is being fixed" he never had another accident. But I guess I did ignore the red flag of after an earlier accident him returning the car to me needing gas, a wash, and an oil change >_<

(I did complain and get the oil change and gas money, but in retrospect I should have had the "you can't borrow my car again" convo then.)

Blaming "bad luck" on the last accident, where he admitted not having the right-of-way, but "she should have let me in," symbolized his lack of personal responsibility, and he shafted me on his share of the rent for the month he moved out.

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RE: Red Flags That You Missed - 1/3/2013 7:15:05 AM

Moonlightmaddnes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

quote:

ORIGINAL: Moonlightmaddnes

That is where I am more of a chicken then it is a red flag I guess. One person that is now one of my best friends we met on a fiction site I write on. We liked each others writings then started talking and eventually it was how awesome it would be if we could hang out. Well we are only about 7 hours from each other so one day she said she had some vacation and could drive up. I was shocked she would just drive up to my house and trust I was not an ax murderer. She did though and we had a great time and seem to always be planning when I will go to Texas or she will come here. Back when I was dating the internet was not like this. Nobody I knew had it and those who did not get on often since it was expensive since the phone company charged as well. I would be between my head coming up with all kinds of what ifs and it being so long that probably colors my perspective a bit.

I have to say before all of the blow ups about being safe and meeting people at coffee shops, I met guys all the time at his house or mine. I never felt afraid or anything. I've never once met anyone that wanted to kill me. Now I met quite a few who were clammy, shaky and all nervous and could barely speak two words lol, but never psycho killers. I figured it wasn't any different than my days of picking up strange men in bars.

But after I stopped doing the casual fuck buddy/ stranger sex thing though, I started just meeting men at coffee shops not because I was afraid to have them at my home, but just because I couldn't be bothered with getting them to leave. It's easier to make excuses at a coffeeshop on why you have to leave 5 minutes after you meet lol.

When I met my husband I was still a teenager so I agree there. I met him at a party he was throwing. I still lived at home and knew my mother would not approve of me seeing someone who lived on his own. There was only 4 years between us but I knew she would not get past he was in his 20's lived in his own place while I was still a child even though I would be a legal adult in a matter of months. So I lied to her about where I was going every weekend. I shake my head now knowing I was with a guy that I barely knew alone at his house every weekend while my mom thought I was with friends. I had no fear back then. We have been married for 21 years now. If something horrible happened I do not think I could ever go back to meeting men. I think I would be terrible at it, but I would still give a guy with a crooked toe a chance. Maybe. LOL

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RE: Red Flags That You Missed - 1/3/2013 7:55:30 AM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama
where he admitted not having the right-of-way, but "she should have let me in," symbolized his lack of personal responsibility

Not to mention a sense of entitlement.

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RE: Red Flags That You Missed - 6/12/2013 8:14:47 PM

Reversa

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When a person continually disregards a hard limit you have clearly stated.

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RE: Red Flags That You Missed - 6/12/2013 8:21:29 PM

MasterCaneman

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Don't dredge up threads more than 3 months old, Reversa. The mods'll be along to scold you (and me for that matter, but I'm incorrigible).

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RE: Red Flags That You Missed - 6/12/2013 9:45:37 PM

Greta75

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My dom went wrong experience......
I guess the red flag would be him being drunk and texting me freaking orders when I have not even agreed to be his sub yet. But the problem is, the next day, he apologised so sincerely for his behaviour and blame it on alcohol.
The worst predators are often perfect gentlemen, and that he was very malicious and evil. To be fair, he told me his main kink was sadism and he does not believe in safe words, that should be red flag too, at least for me and my level of bdsm that I wish to participate in.

I have a recent red flag. I met a dom who claims to have more than 10 yrs of experience and place an ad using fifty shades of grey. So the thing is...., he said he only used it because his open to vanilla who read it and would like to explore it. Anyway......., point is, it was a disaster, I think he totally didn't know what he was doing. But his not a bad guy or anything, just I think he lied about his experience. So any dom mention fifty shades of grey, stay away.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 6/12/2013 9:50:07 PM >

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RE: Red Flags That You Missed - 6/12/2013 9:56:13 PM

tazzygirl

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I shall repeat the previous post. The site Admins dont want us posting on threads that are older than 3 months. That includes this thread. If you wish to continue this discussion, please start a separate thread.

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RE: Red Flags That You Missed - 6/12/2013 10:13:55 PM

Greta75

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Actually, I have never seen this topic before, quite a good old thread to dig up, lots of interesting stories from people and their history.

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RE: Red Flags That You Missed - 6/13/2013 8:41:16 AM

VideoAdminRho

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Per the guidelines of the forums, please do not post on threads that are more than three months old. If you wish to continue the conversation, create a new thread with a link to the old one.

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