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quote:
ORIGINAL: Aswad
quote:
ORIGINAL: littlewonder
So therefore, we're left with women who are raising these boys and I'm sorry, a boy needs a father in his life or at least a male father type role model to teach him many things.
Which is why lesbian parents are the best: studies find they always make sure a boy has good male role models available, and do a far better job of this than conventional families do. No idea why single mothers, or even conventional families, don't pay more attention to the matter of good male role models.
quote:
ORIGINAL: kalikshama
I am appalled by the amount of men willing to fuck women they barely know without a condom. These men often go on to bitch about paying child support. Poor kids.
What kind of woman lets that kind of man between her legs?
Just saying... those children are the product of round peg in round hole, not either by itself.
quote:
ORIGINAL: metamorfosis
Is child rearing an act of masochism, in Off Topic:
I took it as a venting thread for actual parents, which I'm not, and so stayed out.
A different title might be good if you were looking to gauge whether men are child rearers...
IWYW,
— Aswad.
Well, it all goes back to the old chestnut about men: why buy the cow if the milk is free? And really, this boils down to basic biology: women bear the bulk of reproductive costs, and ceterus parabus, the only way you know if a man is going to step up, is whether he calls you the next day or goes into hiding and makes himself scarce.
Sex is a sweaty 15 minutes with some airhead you just met in the bar, kids are a lifetime of pre-emptive responsibility, forget about climbing mountains or being a rock star, being a parent comes first.
Thus, not surprisingly, both men and women are motivated, to greater or lesser extent, depending on the individual, to attempt to evade that responsibility. Obviously, this is more difficult for women, but it's not unheard of, but the upshot is, that why we have all these institutions and social controls designed to force people, to the extent that's possible, to live up to their parental responsibilities, and this thread is no different: the OP is saying, "don't be such a pussy", and it's a more or less spontaneous, informal attempt to generate some social controls.
In the absence of those things, you're back to hide and watch after he pops the nut in your hot spot, and the fear sets in: freeze, fight or flee? To be fair, a lot of guys do step up after the initial shock has worn off.
Our culture sends a lot of mixed messages here: on one side, it's about personal autonomy and ownership of your own body, on the other, for reasons of group fitness, the relevant group has at least the right to an opinion when reproduction is a possibility, given that via taxation, etc, they are required to share at least some fraction of the reproductive costs.
So much for "free love". But that's another mixed message: this whole site for example is one big paean to erotic indulgence/overindulgence, distinct from, but not so different from a million beer commercials, but how often does the subject of raising kids come up? To be sure, BDSM at least, insofar as it's a vaguely institutional phenomena, provides and promotes various forms of non-reproductive intercourse and sex play, and I wouldn't be at all surprised if the overall unwanted pregnancy/abortion rate, or even the STD rate was not lower among it's practitioners.
But, of course, it's generally assumed as a universal value that raising a child requires a committed monogamous dyad or breeding pair, and it is the standard, minimizing disease vectors and nominally insuring some level of parental involvement, even though, as you point out, that isn't necessarily always the optimal arrangement, and there are alternatives that work just as well or better, depending on the situation.
The point is, I suppose, is that somebody, somewhere has to step up, or you get feral packs of street kids running amok, though in my experience you get that with monogamous dyads as well, we just call them "frat boys".
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