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ORIGINAL: bamabbwsub

I found nothing wrong with your profile. You're blunt, but tinged with a sense of humor.

I suspect that the jerk who caused you to write this post was just a guy who wanted some kinky sex like what he sees in porn and couldn't handle the reality of a truly dominant woman.

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ORIGINAL: Baroana

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ORIGINAL: bamabbwsub

I found nothing wrong with your profile. You're blunt, but tinged with a sense of humor.

I suspect that the jerk who caused you to write this post was just a guy who wanted some kinky sex like what he sees in porn and couldn't handle the reality of a truly dominant woman.

Thanks very much!

The message in question implied that I am some sort of "do-me dominant" that doesn't understand the two way street of a BDSM relationship :-/

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ORIGINAL: theshytype

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ORIGINAL: Baroana

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ORIGINAL: bamabbwsub

I found nothing wrong with your profile. You're blunt, but tinged with a sense of humor.

I suspect that the jerk who caused you to write this post was just a guy who wanted some kinky sex like what he sees in porn and couldn't handle the reality of a truly dominant woman.

Thanks very much!

The message in question implied that I am some sort of "do-me dominant" that doesn't understand the two way street of a BDSM relationship :-/

I didn't get that vibe at all. You've mentioned nothing in the way of kink that I can see, and paints a pretty clear picture that you want a mutual relationship involving intellectual dialect. I'm not, though, sure if it's very clear on what you are looking for (ie. long term, casual).

I never will understand the purpose of nasty messages. I've tweaked my profile here and there but still get messages assuming I'm looking for an affair and once in a while they are nasty. I've come to the conclusion that no matter what you do, you can't please everyone. It can be the clearest most precise profile out there, and some will still make their own conclusions.

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ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

The profile rubbed me a bit the wrong way at times.

1. "Generally, I do not initiate messaging with people on this site, no matter how much a profile may interest me. Why? Well, for one thing I have been deluged many times over with all the lip service in the world about how Tom, Dick, and Harry live to serve, and they are just dying to meet a woman who might own them one day. Yet, when the rubber meets the road, they cannot be bothered to lift a finger - literally. A couple of emails, a chat or two ... that's about it for 99% of the self-identified submissive guys I have met online. After that, they don't seem to have it in them to even keep up with messages, let alone meet in person. They just wanted to wank for a bit. That being the case, I pretty much won't look twice at someone unless and until he has shown he can at least put forth the effort to introduce himself.

If someone writes an intelligent message to me, I will review his profile and see if I find him interesting. If I do not write back, it is because I am not interested. As any woman on this site can tell you, even a simple message saying something like "sorry, not interested" often triggers a vitriolic backlash. Those guys ruin it for everybody else, so accept my apologies now for the lack of a reply.

I believe that on a site like this, it is far easier to come across as creepy than on vanilla sites. Moreover, your writing (i.e. spelling, grammar, and content) is the beginning and the end of your first impression. That said, type carefully."

I'd replace that with "I don't initiate messaging. If my profile interests you, and you're local to the greater NYC area. feel free to send a polite message. And please... spell and type carefully. If I like your message and profile, I'll write you back. If not... that's life."

2. "Just so we don't start out on the wrong foot, please allow me to share my view of the word "Mistress" in the context of BDSM: it's woman-demeaning bullshit. Have you ever heard anyone use the word in any non-sexual/non-Victorian sense? For example, "she's a mistress of her trade"? No, no you haven't. Moreover, even the dominant women who like to use that term will shoot you down if you attempt to address them that way as a stranger.

And sorry, but I can't resist making one last point before I step off the soapbox. Chastity: WTF, guys? Is it not the height of cock-centrism (Is that a word? I don't know, but if not then I just invented it) to believe that just because it is apparently the ultimate torment for you to not be able to touch your schlong, that must translate to the ultimate pleasure for me? Sorry to disappoint you, but I really can't give a shit less whether you touch yourself or not. "

I'd replace that with: "Please, do NOT call me Mistress. Also, I'm not into chastity - not my thing. If you need it, please move along."

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ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl

I thought your profile was very clear and concise. You don't sound like do-me Domme at all. That guy was just being an ass. I just had one the other day write an insulting sentence to me the other day and I called him on it, so he told me "insulting shit face - buy a suicide pill." And they think we're awful?

NBMG

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You think? So less explanation is better in your opinion?

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ORIGINAL: kalikshama

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You think? So less explanation is better in your opinion?

I like DS's suggestions. Your words and his both convey the same point, but his does so without judgement, which is a barrier to communication.

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Why do people go out of their way to make their profile text unreadable by using a dark font on a dark background?????

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ORIGINAL: kalikshama

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Why do people go out of their way to make their profile text unreadable by using a dark font on a dark background?????

They think it's Domly.

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ORIGINAL: Baroana

I got a cmail from a guy who seems like a real jerk. Between the lines, however, his message constituted a scathing attack on my profile.

Just in case it really is me, I was thinking I had better check myself before I wreck myself.

If you care to take the time, please review my profile and give me your brutally honest feedback. Thanks in advance.

Baroana, nothing you wrote in your profile deserved a scathing attack. You were in what I'd call "teaching mode" and if men bothered to read before writing to you it would help them in their search. They could understand why many women will not answer mail from men they are not interested in. The dude came here wanting a fight and found a target, that's all. I hear of this happening all the time to other women. Sometimes I've said things in my journal entries that have made men come at me, both guns blazing, to set me straight and put me in my place. (One time was over my encouraging people to go to munches; he didn't like my definition of a munch and tried to rip me a new ass, lol.)

Before I would offer any suggestion...is your profile working for you? If it is...I cannot think of any need to change it.

If it's not, then what do you feel is missing in the impression you want to leave?

And now for my opinion. Keep in mind that this suits ME and may not be you at all. I would add a journal entry or two that is not "teaching mode". No negatives involved. Something funny your cat did, or some amusing anecdote or happy moment of something from your vanilla list of likes...beachcombing, musical theater, horseback riding, weightlifting, something fun that makes you more approachable and reminds them that you are more than their fantasy chick with a whip...you can be their neighbor, the woman they know from church, a co-worker or maybe their sister's best friend they've heard so much about but never met.

Personally, I like to take myself off of that Dommely pedestal their fantasy has put me onto. It's like tossing a bucket of cold water onto them, most of the time.

Btw, I love that black cat pic.

Look at my profile...I get mail from asshats too. Even when I am not in teaching mode.

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ORIGINAL: CynthiaWVirginia

quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

I got a cmail from a guy who seems like a real jerk. Between the lines, however, his message constituted a scathing attack on my profile.

Just in case it really is me, I was thinking I had better check myself before I wreck myself.

If you care to take the time, please review my profile and give me your brutally honest feedback. Thanks in advance.

Baroana, nothing you wrote in your profile deserved a scathing attack. You were in what I'd call "teaching mode" and if men bothered to read before writing to you it would help them in their search. They could understand why many women will not answer mail from men they are not interested in. The dude came here wanting a fight and found a target, that's all. I hear of this happening all the time to other women. Sometimes I've said things in my journal entries that have made men come at me, both guns blazing, to set me straight and put me in my place. (One time was over my encouraging people to go to munches; he didn't like my definition of a munch and tried to rip me a new ass, lol.)

Before I would offer any suggestion...is your profile working for you? If it is...I cannot think of any need to change it.

If it's not, then what do you feel is missing in the impression you want to leave?

And now for my opinion. Keep in mind that this suits ME and may not be you at all. I would add a journal entry or two that is not "teaching mode". No negatives involved. Something funny your cat did, or some amusing anecdote or happy moment of something from your vanilla list of likes...beachcombing, musical theater, horseback riding, weightlifting, something fun that makes you more approachable and reminds them that you are more than their fantasy chick with a whip...you can be their neighbor, the woman they know from church, a co-worker or maybe their sister's best friend they've heard so much about but never met.

Personally, I like to take myself off of that Dommely pedestal their fantasy has put me onto. It's like tossing a bucket of cold water onto them, most of the time.

Btw, I love that black cat pic.

Look at my profile...I get mail from asshats too. Even when I am not in teaching mode.

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ORIGINAL: myotherself

I liked it.

It was clear, concise and outlined what it is you want and what you don't want.

Yes it had some negatives in it, but phrased in a positive way. There was no "THIS SITE IS FULL OF FAKES!!!!" nonsense.

And it made me smile, especially the link at the end