quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'm afraid I didn't see this as the profile other people are seeing. If you had the same profile from the other side of the fence, you'd have been ripped to shreds. It contains those things that any male having the same kind of profile would be chastised for. Rather full on the negativity about people online, how men only pay lip service, etc, etc. Even the quotes that you used, which I actually enjoyed and give you props for recognizing the authors, didn't exactly have a positive slant.

Personal pet peeve. Fix the spacing. I had to scroll right so the text would fit on the screen. This happens sometimes when folks do a copy/paste. You know what everyone says about copy/paste and how lazy it is.

You write very little about yourself. Your interest list does include the vanilla activities that you enjoy, but never any mention of what you like about them. I didn't really get the feeling that your profile was about you. It was really more about everybody else.

All of this is before you say anything as to why you are on a kink site, rather than E-Harmony, except to say you are a Dominant woman. You don't even say why you consider yourself a Dominant or what a submissive brings to your life.

As a leather person, I wasn't thrilled with your ramble about why the term "Mistress" without a qualifier was incorrect. It's cool that you're not a leather person, but our protocols aren't lumped into the Victorian mindset.

Positives. You do express how you deal with those who send messages. I consider that fair warning. I do love your mention of cat person being mandatory. I like the cat pic. (Always have.) Would you consider adding some other shots? Not of the cat or even of yourself. Maybe a scenic shot that you enjoy? A sunset, a shot of the beach......

Along with Steven's "less is more" philosophy, if I were you, I'd probably drop a note to ResidentSadist. He's got an uncanny ability to convey those messages that come across as negative into positives.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

quote:

ORIGINAL: bamabbwsub

I found nothing wrong with your profile. You're blunt, but tinged with a sense of humor.

I suspect that the jerk who caused you to write this post was just a guy who wanted some kinky sex like what he sees in porn and couldn't handle the reality of a truly dominant woman.

Thanks very much!

The message in question implied that I am some sort of "do-me dominant" that doesn't understand the two way street of a BDSM relationship :-/

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama



I do have a few negatives in my profile, like not being interested in joining an established couple, but for the most part I focus on what I do want, like saying I am interested in local guys rather than saying out-of-staters (especially Colorado) need not write. I do get some nice mail from Coloradians from time to time.

quote:

ORIGINAL: EsotericLady

If you would indeed appreciate a straightforward, very OBJECTIVE (I don't know you anyway) interpretation of your profile...

I agree with DarkSteven in that it definitely rubbed me the wrong way, however I can't just claim "at times."
The first paragraph of your profile made you sound so angry and unapproachable that I lost interest in reading the majority of your profile. You could well be a very lovely person to know... but I think I would rather not risk a (possible) confrontation with you.

(Sorry)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

The profile rubbed me a bit the wrong way at times.

1. "Generally, I do not initiate messaging with people on this site, no matter how much a profile may interest me. Why? Well, for one thing I have been deluged many times over with all the lip service in the world about how Tom, Dick, and Harry live to serve, and they are just dying to meet a woman who might own them one day. Yet, when the rubber meets the road, they cannot be bothered to lift a finger - literally. A couple of emails, a chat or two ... that's about it for 99% of the self-identified submissive guys I have met online. After that, they don't seem to have it in them to even keep up with messages, let alone meet in person. They just wanted to wank for a bit. That being the case, I pretty much won't look twice at someone unless and until he has shown he can at least put forth the effort to introduce himself.

If someone writes an intelligent message to me, I will review his profile and see if I find him interesting. If I do not write back, it is because I am not interested. As any woman on this site can tell you, even a simple message saying something like "sorry, not interested" often triggers a vitriolic backlash. Those guys ruin it for everybody else, so accept my apologies now for the lack of a reply.

I believe that on a site like this, it is far easier to come across as creepy than on vanilla sites. Moreover, your writing (i.e. spelling, grammar, and content) is the beginning and the end of your first impression. That said, type carefully."

I'd replace that with "I don't initiate messaging. If my profile interests you, and you're local to the greater NYC area. feel free to send a polite message. And please... spell and type carefully. If I like your message and profile, I'll write you back. If not... that's life."

2. "Just so we don't start out on the wrong foot, please allow me to share my view of the word "Mistress" in the context of BDSM: it's woman-demeaning bullshit. Have you ever heard anyone use the word in any non-sexual/non-Victorian sense? For example, "she's a mistress of her trade"? No, no you haven't. Moreover, even the dominant women who like to use that term will shoot you down if you attempt to address them that way as a stranger.

And sorry, but I can't resist making one last point before I step off the soapbox. Chastity: WTF, guys? Is it not the height of cock-centrism (Is that a word? I don't know, but if not then I just invented it) to believe that just because it is apparently the ultimate torment for you to not be able to touch your schlong, that must translate to the ultimate pleasure for me? Sorry to disappoint you, but I really can't give a shit less whether you touch yourself or not. "

I'd replace that with: "Please, do NOT call me Mistress. Also, I'm not into chastity - not my thing. If you need it, please move along."

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

While I really enjoyed reading your profile, I have to agree with both DS and LP. Negatives like the "lip service" comments aren't good for males or females, dominant or submissive. Simply stating you don't initiate contact without such a detailed explanation would be fine.

As LP and others said, some positives about what you are looking for and who you are would be nice.

Regarding the guy who sent you the nasty message though, he was just an ass.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AlittleCrazy098

Then again, I understand that you receive a lot of messages from punks, players, and losers so there might be a reason for why you layed out your profile that way. Perhaps, Virginia's suggestion would be best to show that you are approachable? This may give someone a more precise way on how they can communicate with you on a first message.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83

I thought the public service announcement was
a good touch, the "fun facts" interspersed
throughout the profile seemed to work well, and
generally it's quite comprehensive and easy to
read.

I give it...
a 8 out of 10!
While it ticked a lot of boxes, the profile itself
didn't blow me away or anything and those last
two points are reserved for some sort of "Wow"
factor.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissToYouRedux

So much more appealing with a lot that males can actually start a discussion about *if* they read the profile, so an even better culling tool. It should be win/win. Let us know if you see a difference in responses.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

I don't see anything wrong with it. Polite, to the point, and well written.

This may mean your critic is a douche.

Edited to add: I see you've made some changes to it, good ones from what I can tell.

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone14

quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

Thanks, everyone. I have some catching up to do on individual responses. Just FYI, I edited my profile, and Aries is commenting on the new one.

I just read it, and if I were your demographic I'd be really interested. Plus, bonus points for having a black cat (I have two!!!)

quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle

Not sub male, but gave up reading. too long.
I feel so sorry for sub males. if a sub male listed their wants, they are "do me's". If a sub female does the same, and doesnt get them, theyve ignored red flags,

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

I thought it was good. You gave info about yourself but didn't concentrate solely on kink. You said what you were looking for. There were parts that showed a sense of humor which is important to me. It was well written without spelling and grammer errors. Not sure why someone would have a problem with it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

Honestly, I've got dozens of emails that were normal and ordinary. I've gotten a handful from deranged lunatics who say anything from 'you're a cunt for having a picture of a dog on your profile instead of your ugly fat face' to 'you're fucking sick for cheating on your husband with his brother' because I split rent with a college student who happens to be related to me by marriage.

There are little boys and girls here that enjoy attacking people to make themselves feel better about their shitty lives. I accept that and just enjoy the laughs it gives me. There's nothing wrong with your profile from what I can tell.

quote:

ORIGINAL: InsaneSerenity


And there is a distinct northeast dialect to your entire profile.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TAFKAA

No pictures. Guys are visual.

Meh. Nothing in your profile gives off even a hint of passion. It's dry as dishwater and all "you do all the work". I have no idea what male submissives look for but frankly they're still men and they're still going to look for a woman. Your profile has no trace of femininity in it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: InsaneSerenity
since there are a lot of jerks everywhere that are grammar nazis, your second paragraph under "what i want" states "dominatrices." yea, picky, but if it saves wading through messages from human scum, it is worth it.

That's the correct spelling. Latin plural, doncha know. Think "matrix" and "matrices."

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Hi Baroana,

Maybe add a journal entry with links to your current favorite music on youtube, or similar likes? Vanilla conversation starters that ground the email exchange in shared nonsexual interests from jump.

Another thing I did on my own profile was to use my journal to link to posts on the message boards. Threads I had started, or posts people had made about me after they met me in real life. That sort of thing. Maybe 10% of the time after a woman and I started interacting, she would say, "I just read all the links in your journal and...." So it's an additional way to ground the cyber conversation in reality.

quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

quote:

ORIGINAL: bamabbwsub

I found nothing wrong with your profile. You're blunt, but tinged with a sense of humor.

I suspect that the jerk who caused you to write this post was just a guy who wanted some kinky sex like what he sees in porn and couldn't handle the reality of a truly dominant woman.

Thanks very much!

The message in question implied that I am some sort of "do-me dominant" that doesn't understand the two way street of a BDSM relationship :-/

Let me guess that 2 way street was supposed to go by fucknsuckme blvd, myfetishisyourfocus ave & eatinaintcheatin circle??

quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

Put up a new photo. Is it awful?